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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Life Attention Middle-Age Asshats in Saabs

Posted by Christopher Frizzelle on Tue, Dec 23, 2008 at 1:30 AM

A reader, Jared, writes:

i dunno if it would be worth anything, but maybe a PSA about how, if you have to drive, you shouldn't be a douche and follow people so closely. as the snow packs or becomes ice the road gets slicker and stopping distances get shorter. or on hills if someone loses traction they could slide backwards. so if someone yells at you to back off, middle-aged asshats in saabs should heed the warning when you go up a street like 105th that's covered in ice. because you know, people could get mad, and follow you home, and spit in your face cursing how you're endagering their family by being such shitwhistle for following so close. just a thought.

Comments (32) RSS

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This is simply awesome for use of the word "shitwhistle"

Posted by zim on December 23, 2008 at 2:53 AM

Yay

Posted by Jay Jansheski on December 23, 2008 at 4:00 AM

Yes, Jared. Asshat shitwhistles seem to think they're immune from the laws of physics.

Posted by TVDinner on December 23, 2008 at 4:10 AM

yet another internet toughguy who didn't have the balls to jam on his brakes and reach for the tire-iron.

Posted by mb on December 23, 2008 at 4:15 AM

It sounds like the novelty of having the snow stick around is wearing off.

Posted by Balt-O-Matt on December 23, 2008 at 6:09 AM

Anyone who makes threats after the fact and asserts themselves with "i dunno if it would be worth anything", "because you know, people could get mad", and "just a thought" is a passive-aggressive shitwhistle.

Posted by Jason Josephes on December 23, 2008 at 6:52 AM

What year Saab does mb drive?

Posted by tiktok on December 23, 2008 at 7:20 AM

Enough with snow snark!

Posted by Non on December 23, 2008 at 7:32 AM

How about 20-something asshats in saabs? They are even worse. Smugger. And, they drive closer.

Posted by I hate all GM cars on December 23, 2008 at 8:01 AM

ha ha ha! shitwhistle!

Posted by ekindk on December 23, 2008 at 8:03 AM

@3: That's Frizelle for ya'...

Posted by Good Grief on December 23, 2008 at 8:09 AM

@3 he couldn't, his shrieking girlfriend was in the car.

Posted by wj on December 23, 2008 at 8:16 AM

Dear Chris,

Why do people feel the need to spread their banal stories of road rage all over the internet?

Posted by seandr on December 23, 2008 at 8:17 AM

Dear Chris,
Why do people feel the need to spread their banal stories of road rage all over the internet?

Posted by seandr on December 23, 2008 at 8:18 AM

"as the snow packs or becomes ice the road gets slicker and stopping distances get shorter"

I'm pretty sure that's not what happens as the roads get slicker.

Posted by Dan on December 23, 2008 at 8:19 AM

Please, Slog. No more of this whining.

Posted by elenchos on December 23, 2008 at 8:36 AM

Ohferchrissakes. Whiny bitches. Some people drive like idiots. Some people WALK like idiots too. You made it home (or wherever you were going) alive, so have a drink and calm down.

Posted by Nora on December 23, 2008 at 8:37 AM

Well, pedestrians should also, ya know, walk on the sidewalk and not in the middle of the road --the main intersections and arterial streets at least. You're right, Jared, that it is hard for cars to stop. Please don't put your life at risk by wandering into traffic.

Posted by caker on December 23, 2008 at 8:38 AM

Amen brother!

Also, if you're talking on your fucking cellphone while impotently attempting to maneuver your vehicle up a steep icy hill, there is no way in hell I'm going to give you a push.

And on a related note, if you slip and fall whilst walking and texting, I will point and laugh.

Posted by Kalakalot on December 23, 2008 at 8:45 AM

@3 Is there something wrong with not murdering people you are annoyed with? Calling out his lack of murderliciousness via anonymous comment is pretty tough! For you, 3, I'd recommend posing in the mirror, shirtless.

Posted by RL on December 23, 2008 at 8:51 AM

What a puss-mouthed, passive-aggressive, dickless, shit eating little fucktard.

Posted by Sonny Money on December 23, 2008 at 9:12 AM

"Shitwhistle" really is great word.

Posted by Dominic Holden on December 23, 2008 at 9:16 AM

"as the snow packs or becomes ice the road gets slicker and stopping distances get shorter"

I'm pretty sure that's not what happens.

Posted by Dan on December 23, 2008 at 9:19 AM

More whining, and from a guy with a "Name Calling for Idiots" handbook too. I'm impressed.

Posted by notREALLY on December 23, 2008 at 9:32 AM

Where's Bill Nye when you need him?

Posted by watchout5 on December 23, 2008 at 9:34 AM

Straight from the "Idiots Guide To Swearing" too.

Posted by wow on December 23, 2008 at 9:38 AM

Dear Chris,
Why do people feel the need to spread their banal road rage stories all over the internet?

Posted by seandr on December 23, 2008 at 9:42 AM

my saab is still buried under the snow, but my advice as a middle-aged asshat in a 1995 explorer is: pull to the right & get the fuck out of the way of the people who know what they're doing. you're making it worse by crawling along. i literally cannot roll forward with my foot off the gas that slowly.

Posted by Max Solomon on December 23, 2008 at 10:21 AM

@28,

Amen brother! When going up a hill in the snow, momentum is your friend!

Posted by Mr. X on December 23, 2008 at 11:19 AM

@3. eh... sometimes you can't just stop your car and beat the tailgater with a tire iron.

Posted by infrequent on December 23, 2008 at 11:42 AM

@28 if your car can't get up a hill without hugging the bumper of the person in front of you don't take that road. you deserve it if they slide back and hit you.

Posted by wj on December 23, 2008 at 2:31 PM

#4 yes the novelty of snow has wore off a long time ago...

Posted by ed.rides.bikes on December 23, 2008 at 10:21 PM