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Monday, December 15, 2008

"You've Got the Wrong Golfer"

Posted by on Mon, Dec 15, 2008 at 6:34 PM

City prosecutors have filed against a Seattle man for allegedly assaulting another man with a foam golf ball during a Seattle Urban Golf tournament on Capitol Hill last October.

Around 8pm on October 18th, a golfer playing the final hole on the 9-hole course struck a bystander in the eye with a foam golf ball. The police were called and officers arrested two golfers.

Over the weekend, one of the arrested golfers, 25-year-old computer security expert David Hulton received a summons from the city, ordering him to appear in court later this month on misdemeanor assault charges. But Hutton says they've got the wrong man.

In an email, Hulton says he's been "falsely accused" and accuses the Seattle Police Department of using him as "a scapegoat for the incident."

Hulton says he was walking near the scene of the assault with several other members of his golf team—Team "That's What She Said"—when police grabbed him and another team member.

According to Hulton, an officer initially accused Hulton's team mate of committing the assault but later arrested Hulton for the crime.

At the precinct, Hulton says the officer seemed apologetic, telling him "you know the sort of people we have to deal with on Capitol Hill" and that the arrest "wasn't anything personal."

Hulton says he's looking for a lawyer so he can fight the case.

 

Comments (22) RSS

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1
Urban golfers are oppressed. Why does The Man always come down on urban golfers? Why? Fight the man, urban golfers! Fight the man!
Posted by elenchos on December 15, 2008 at 7:20 PM
2
Hey elenchos - have you ever had to answer criminal charges for something you didn't do?

It sucks. It's also kinda expensive.
Posted by Eric Arrr on December 15, 2008 at 7:30 PM
3
I forgot about the expense! The injustice of it all! Freedom! Attica! Attica! Attica!

Oh, me? Nope. Never had to face the consequences for being an arrogant smartass. There but for the grace of god goes me and ten thousand little princelings.

Attica!
Posted by elenchos on December 15, 2008 at 7:41 PM
4
Sure he wants a lawyer -- but how much an hour is he going to pay?
Posted by Elliot Spitzer on December 15, 2008 at 8:10 PM
5
gee elenchos you're really a riot.

a charge of assault will probably cost the guy 2 to 5 grand or more if it goes to trial. if charges are dropped, probably without prejudice, it will stay on his record unless he wants to spend a few grand more to get wiped off his record.

the question is who is the guy that called the cops and why is pushing for charges, cause the cops wouldn't do it unless the "golfer" was a complete asshat or the victim pushed the cops.

i sense a lawsuit for damages.
Posted by McG on December 15, 2008 at 8:33 PM
6
calm down guys. how could a foam ball cause so much damage? musta been that ball gag from the homemade fuck palace.
Posted by scary tyler moore on December 15, 2008 at 8:58 PM
7
wtf? where's the guy who admitted to actually hitting the guy with the golf ball? And David, I'm pretty sure Jen and I were with you most that night, Johnny has our number if you need witnesses. I sure as hell don't remember you assaulting anyone.

-Raymond
Posted by seattle98104 on December 15, 2008 at 9:17 PM
8
Friend of mine used to bounce foam balls off his four-month-old baby's face. I'm sure if it had been a girl baby he would have cuddled her.
Posted by Amelia on December 15, 2008 at 10:19 PM
9
It's funny how elenchos has a really warped view of who this guy is. I know Mr Hulton well, and I would imagine that he fits approximately zero of the stereotypes elenchos is imagining.
Posted by Q*bert H. Humphrey on December 15, 2008 at 11:31 PM
10
That is utterly ridiculous. Once he wins the case, he needs to sue the police force for court fees.
Posted by tanukisuit on December 16, 2008 at 12:56 AM
11
Sure after spending a couple large on defense lawyer then sue the City going against the fully funded city attorney to try t recoup the two, which starts to look really little compared to the legal fees and the judge will probably side ith the cops cause they were just doing their best - not like some cop will stand up and say they were in the wrong.
Posted by McG on December 16, 2008 at 8:38 AM
12
I'm judging these clowns by their actions and their words. None of them are capable of entertaining the notion that they bear any responsibility for the things they choose to do. In their mind, consequences are something that happens to other people.

The whining about how it costs thousands to beat the charge and have the record wiped is pathetic. It costs a lot to live in a fantasy world. You expected rewriting history to be free? You know what is free? Reality is free. Go plead guilty to what you did and stop crying. If you hate being oppressed, then change your obnoxious behavior.
Posted by elenchos on December 16, 2008 at 9:06 AM
13
@12 Have you had bad experiences with urban golfers in the past? Or perhaps with small foam balls flying at your face? You seem to be making an extraordinary effort to shit all over this guy, and it's hard to see why...
Posted by Hernandez on December 16, 2008 at 9:10 AM
14
Yes, Hernandez. Here on this Slog. I'd never heard of them until they appeared right here and began defending their right to be drunken assholes.

As far as what I'm doing to the guy, I have no idea what you mean. Mocking him on a blog? The same guy who thinks getting pelted in the face with a nerf ball amounts to nothing is now a poor suffering victim because somebody mocked him and his buds on a blog?

How does that work, Hernandez?
Posted by elenchos on December 16, 2008 at 9:22 AM
15
Elenchos, bad shit happens to innocent people all the time. Remember Packratt?
Posted by Greg on December 16, 2008 at 9:26 AM
16
Elenchos, whether or not he was being a drunken asshole is irrelevant. Whether or not other urban golfers have tried to defend their right to be drunken assholes on Slog is irrelevant. If this man was arrested for a crime that he did not actually commit, that is a problem. And I don't see any evidence that David Hulton posted those comments that you're referencing.


Posted by Hernandez on December 16, 2008 at 9:48 AM
17
Well, from their comments, they did indeed hit the guy in the face with a nerf ball. At least that's what they said at first. It sounds like now their plan is to stick together and blame somebody else. It's precious how offended everyone can be that they might be *gasp* innocent! but they will casually lie their way out of this without hesitation.

Whether hitting the guy with a nerf ball is misdemeanor assault is something for the courts to decide. I'm not saying anyone is guilty of misdemeanor assault. I'm saying they all decided to get drunk and hit nerf balls all over Capitol Hill. Then when somebody got hit, they belittled him, and apparently ran their mouths to the cops enough to get arrested.

As a result of that, they have to go to court. Which is indeed expensive, but who created this mess? Who decided they didn't care if people got hit with their harmless nerf balls?

So there. It sucks to have to hash out your problems in court, but I don't feel sorry for them. They created this mess themselves.
Posted by elenchos on December 16, 2008 at 11:23 AM
18
Okay, Elenchos, the thing about the law is that it's not a collective thing.

"They" did not hit a guy with a nerf ball - that was one individual. And "they" did not belittle the guy who got hit - that was also the one individual.

And as a result of that, who's going to court? Not the one individual. A different guy, David, whom half a dozen witnesses know had nothing to do with the incident whatsoever.

But since you figure "they" should all be collectively responsible for the bad behavior of one guy, there's no reason to feel bad for David, right?
Posted by Anonymous on December 16, 2008 at 3:54 PM
19
What? Fuck, who cares? Jesus if you give two shits about David step away from the keybord for five minutes and slip him a couple bucks for a lawyer.

I'm still laughing. Now shut up.
Posted by elenchos on December 16, 2008 at 4:01 PM
20
Maybe what I actually give a shit about is how the SPD spends our oh-so-precious and oh-so-scarce tax dollars.

I mean, just look at these jokers. They filed an assault charge over a case of negligent nerfing. And it looks like they didn't even charge the right guy.

Way to protect & serve, SPD.
Posted by Anonymous on December 16, 2008 at 5:00 PM
21
hmmm... i think i'm with elenchos on this one. there was an admission of guilt, so if the wrong party is accused, there should be at least one person who could help set the record straight.

other than that, yeah, it's a bit lame to call the cops. but it's also lame to get hit by a golf ball. i'm not sure how hard it was hit, but in the apology the golfer offered to pay medical bills. either he was being a jackass, or even he realized he could have harmed someone... if you want it both ways, then he was being a jackass AND realized he could harm someone.

and anyone who'd been "apologized" to by a drunk frat boy or a drunk anyone can probably attest to the lack or sincerity often present.

so yeah, it's stupid. but it's the golfer who instigated and perpetuated most of the stupid. hitting someone is an obvious risk of urban golfing. being hit by an urban golfer is not an obvious risk from walking down the sidewalk.

Posted by infrequent on December 17, 2008 at 12:16 PM
22
IT WAS A NERF BALL!! How badly could you get hurt from a flying nerf ball?? And how in the name of God's good love could you prove that the person intended to hit the guy? If you've ever played urban golf you know that there is no way you can control where that ball goes.

I wish Seattle PD would spend more time tracking down who killed Kurt Cobain than spend money on 'nerf assaults'...
Posted by NerfMe on January 16, 2009 at 10:38 PM

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