It has to be true—I read it on Wikipedia.
City prosecutors have filed against a Seattle man for allegedly assaulting another man with a foam golf ball during a Seattle Urban Golf tournament on Capitol Hill last October.
Around 8pm on October 18th, a golfer playing the final hole on the 9-hole course struck a bystander in the eye with a foam golf ball. The police were called and officers arrested two golfers.
Over the weekend, one of the arrested golfers, 25-year-old computer security expert David Hulton received a summons from the city, ordering him to appear in court later this month on misdemeanor assault charges. But Hutton says they've got the wrong man.
In an email, Hulton says he's been "falsely accused" and accuses the Seattle Police Department of using him as "a scapegoat for the incident."
Hulton says he was walking near the scene of the assault with several other members of his golf team—Team "That's What She Said"—when police grabbed him and another team member.
According to Hulton, an officer initially accused Hulton's team mate of committing the assault but later arrested Hulton for the crime.
At the precinct, Hulton says the officer seemed apologetic, telling him "you know the sort of people we have to deal with on Capitol Hill" and that the arrest "wasn't anything personal."
Hulton says he's looking for a lawyer so he can fight the case.
What would we do without it?

I voted for Maddy (kinda kinky!) and Dwight (totally pissed!).
I just realized that it's been more than a week—at least—since I last looked at the Drudge Report.
Almost a year ago, I wrote about staffing shortages and recruiting problems at SPD. Since my piece came out, the police guild has signed a hefty contract with the city, which helped department pull in 100 new officers. But was all that extra money worth it?
Well, last week the Seattle Police Department released its mid-year crime stats and it appears that, with one big exception, all of those extra cops might've paid off as (reported) crime is down 11% across the city:

As you can see, while property crimes and assaults are down, rapes are up a whopping 41%. Additionally, the stats don't include data for the late-summer months, which is when this whole apparent spike in gang-related violence picked up.
Tomorrow, the SPD and the King County Sheriff's office is holding a press conference tomorrow to talk about their new regional "gang crime information sharing project." Given the supposed growing epidemic of gang violence, the timing of the release of SPD's stat report is a bit suspicious. Obviously violence has increased enough to warrant a taskforce, so what're the odds this supposed 11% drop in crime holds through the end of the year?
I'm a 36 y.o. male who has been a drinker since the age of 10. Although I've (largely) avoided addiction issues, I'm confidently—for better or worse—alcoholic. What intrigues me is that, ever since I've had a libido, I've been strongly aroused by intoxicated females, especially if their manner suggests that they, too, have a complicated relationship with alcohol.Now, I'm aware that intoxicated females draw their share of attention, but it seems to be exclusively either expedience (i.e. "they put out") or the "dirty drunken slut" bit. That's not what interests me. I'm interested in the sense of a kindred spirit that I've always experience as highly erotically charged. A little digging on the subject of paraphilias reveals a huge number, on almost every subject imaginable—except this. If accurate, I seem to be have a minority status to (for instance) those experiencing sexual attraction to amputees. Is this really that uncommon—even amongst fellow drunks?
I've reached a point in life where I'm comfortable with whatever my kink is, and I've debating whether to abandon my prior strategy of settling for non-alcoholics to minimize emotional baggage. (Incidentally, I find spring break, "look at my tits" poseur-drunks tiresome.)Lusting Über Sotted Heroines
I couldn't agree with you more, LUSH, about those awful poseur drunks. They annoy the shit out of me too. I mean, any idiot can get herself blind-ass drunk once or twice a year. It takes real commitment and focus to get blind-ass drunk once or twice a day.
And you're certainly not alone in your preference for, or attraction to, shit-faced females, LUSH. Drunk ladies are popular wherever they go; a lot of straight men view transforming sober ladies into drunk ladies as their solemn responsibility. But few would interpret your interest/affliction as a paraphilia, LUSH, not even other men and women who are gripped by it. When two hard-core boozers get together—and I think it's best for all involved when hard-core boozers stick to boozers (and best for all involved if they get their asses sterilized first)—most drunks recognize boozing as a shared interest, something they have in common, and not a sexual fetish. Which is why, unlike the shit eaters and pony players, you haven't found a community online.
Slog has been remarkably quiet about the collapse of the largest Ponzi scheme of all times. Bernard Madoff—the former head of Nasdaq—ran a hedge fund that wasn't. Like all classic Ponzi schemes, Madoff paid off old investors with cash from new investors. Unlike most Ponzi schemers, Madoff moved at the highest levels, ripping off top investors, banks, and foundations.
The collapse of Madoff's Ponzi scheme is battering banks, non-profits, charities, civil liberties groups, and the New York Mets.
Fools and their money.
The New Yorker reports on a retrial in the Shylock "pound of flesh" case from The Merchant of Venice.
“Lawyers were one of the first groups, along with theatre directors, to see Shylock’s position,” Weisberg, who takes a pro-Shylock reading of the play, said last week. “Shylock really has the best lines—there isn’t a lot of argument about that—but in the nineteenth century a prominent German legal philosopher, Rudolf von Jhering, was among the first to argue that he actually had the better legal case.” This was an exhibition hearing (Weisberg arranged a similar one for Melville’s Billy Budd in 2006), but the legal lineup was extremely legit. Hearing the case: the First Amendment expert Floyd Abrams; Jed S. Rakoff, a federal district judge in New York; Justice Dianne T. Renwick, of the Appellate Division of the New York State Supreme Court; the federal appeals-court judge Richard Posner; the Columbia literature professor Julie Peters; Bernhard Schlink, the law professor and novelist; and Anthony Julius, best known as Princess Diana’s divorce lawyer.
Merchant of Venice is my favorite Shakespeare play, as I've written before. The trial, I think, is the least interesting part of it, although Portia's speech is pretty goddamned good. You can read the verdict here. And here is Al Pacino performing a monologue as Shylock from the so-so 2004 movie:

The bacon bikini in this year's Ladies (and Gentlemen) of Slog Calendars.
$50 gets you either the ladies or the gents, $100 gets you the ladies AND the gents (Mr Poe! Carollani! Fnarf! Lara!).
And, since we hate disposable grocery bags (and love disposable grocery-bag-taxes that will drive poor old ladies totally, dog-food-eating broke) $20 gets you a white bag (good for carrying groceries or drugs or Maalox) with a logo that looks like this:

So far, your PayPal donations have raised over $1,500. For the children. Once more, everybody:
$20, bag.
$50, one gender to ogle.
$100, two genders to ogle.
$120, everything.
So shoot the moon! And each other! It's for the children!
Donate here!
By a six-to-three margin, the city council just passed a controversial bill that will require private developers to subsidize affordable housing in taller buildings around the city. It is based on similar legislation for downtown passed in 2006. A companion resolution, calling for the council to study the bill's implementation, passed unanimously.
As the city council allows taller buildings in neighborhoods—such raising height limits around light-rail stations—developers would be required to include 15 to 17.5 percent of the added floor area as housing affordable to residents making 80 percent of the Seattle-area median income. In some cases, developers could pay into an affordable-housing fund managed by the city instead of including it in the new building. If developers don't take advantage of the extra height, there will be no affordable housing requirement. (More about the bill here.)
In a protracted debate over the last year, developers insisted that the requirement to include housing at discounted rates negated the incentive to construct a taller building. Nothing would be built under those rules, they argued. But affordable housing advocates and nonprofit developers said the net profits of additional units in a taller building would more than offset the cost of providing affordable housing. Even with the affordable housing requirement, the advocates said, there was still an incentive to build.
A protest op-ed by Vulcan in today's Seattle Times and an obtuse editorial by the Times' editorial board appear to have made no impact.
Twenty-four hours ago, I was sitting in a rickety wooden chair with a Cuban cigar, a glass full of tequila, and a view that looked like this.

Two hours ago, I was stumbling around downtown in a thin cotton shirt and thin sweater—stunned by the cold air and the stabbing, sideways light—trying to find a taxi and muttering regretfully about having come back.
Two minutes ago, I read my first press release in almost two weeks. And I fell in love with my job, my city, and the art of the press release all over again:
Comedy Benefit for sick boy and his ponyLocal comedian Derek Sheen is hosting an all-star comedy benefit show on December 21st at Laughs in Kirkland for a young boy with cerebral palsy who is losing his prized pony.
The town of Caledon may force a three-year-old boy with cerebral palsy to give up his miniature pony after a neighbour complained about the smell.
Sam Spiteri's grandfather gave him the pony, Emily, after he was diagnosed with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy shortly after birth. The boy can't walk or crawl, and Emily is part of his therapy regime.
"When we take him off the pony he cries. Even if he's tired he doesn't want to leave her,''
But at the end of July, the town notified the Spiteris the pony had to be removed due to the complaints. Sam's physical therapist and pediatrician recommended equestrian riding because it triggers the core muscles that Sam needs to strengthen. It's a newer form of therapy, and the closest location that offered reputable therapeutic equestrian riding was about 50 minutes away, Ms. Spiteri said.
Sam has seizures, so long car rides are difficult. When he was younger, Sam also had lung problems that left him prone to infections, she said.
The Spiteris will appear before the Caledon committee of adjustment Dec. 10 to ask for an exception because of Sam's special circumstances. It costs $800 to appear before the committee. Ms. Spiteri said she received an e-mail from town council on Tuesday afternoon about an additional $345 required to circulate their application for an exception to the Toronto and Region Conservation Authority.
"I'm a single mom with two kids and I live at home with my parents. I have a child who is disabled and that takes its financial toll as well ... the big issue for us is money. We will fight it until we run out of funds."
All proceeds from the December 21st comedy show will go towards the Spiteri family legal costs and towards the cost of building a new stable for Emily. For more information on the Spiteri family, go to http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2008/11/26/caledon-pony.html?ref=rss .
Scheduled to appear along with Sheen are Geoff Brousseau, Emmett Montgomery, Paul Merrill, and Travis Vogt.
For more info and advance tickets, go to http://www.laughscomedy.com/.
Laughs is located at 12099 124th Ave NE in Kirkland. Showtime is 7pm. Tickets are $10 at the door. For more info, call (425) 823-6306 or go to http://www.laughscomedy.com/
It's all there: tragedy (the boy), pastoral (the horse), mystery (how'd these comedians get involved in this cause?), and farce (over $1,000 to appeal to a committee?!?).
For extra-special weirdness, here are the first two paragraphs from the Wikipedia entry about Caledon:
Caledon (2006 Population 57,050) is a town in the Regional Municipality of Peel in the Greater Toronto Area of Ontario, Canada.In terms of land use, Caledon is somewhat urban, though it is primarily rural in nature. Many of Toronto's wealthiest citizens own large country estates in the area, among them many members of the Eaton Family, Norman Jewison, Elton John and the inventors of the board game Trivial Pursuit.
This whole story sounds like a question out of Trivial Pursuit.
The most recent wave of layoffs at the Seattle Times took effect today, leaving the offices on Fairview a little emptier. "The newsroom seems a little unnerved," says a source at the paper. "There is just a general sense of disjointedness given that the paper has been shrunk so much... They are in the process of regrouping and figuring out who does what going forward." When trying to follow-up on a recent story, the source said, "they didn't even know who was on it anymore." It may sound grim, but it seem like an improvement since Eli Sanders wrote this.
Slog Tipper GrammarCop alerts us to this story, via Cake Wrecks.
A ShopRite in New Jersey refused to decorate a birthday cake for a 3-year-old.
Why? Because the boy is named Adolf Hitler Campbell, and his parents insisted on his full name being on the cake. (His sister is named Aryan Nation. Need I say more?)
Here is Adolf Hitler Campbell:
Here is Adolf Hitler Campbell's dad, Heath, with Adolf's sister JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell:
Lest ye cry discrimination, never fear: Wal-Mart has created a birthday cake for young Adolf Hitler. Heil Wal-Mart!
Josh went to the Democrats' holiday bash at the Convention Center last night (my invite from Dwight Pelz apparently got lost in the mail), where he noticed an interesting button on the lapel of Rep. Brendan Williams, an Olympia Dem whose progressive homeowners' bill of rights House Speaker Frank Chopp has shot down, reportedly at the behest of the Building Industry Association of Washington, two years running:

Williams may have felt bolder than most in openly opposing the house speaker's building-industry buddies; earlier this year, he announced\ that he won't be running for reelection, in part, he told Josh, because he feels Chopp has "neutered the Democratic house majority by cozying up with the BIAW."
Charles Mudede, responding to a threat made on behalf of all pregnant ladies everywhere:
You have finally given me the exit I've been looking for. Being beaten to death by a gang of pregnant ladies. That is a way I'd like to go!
Torontoist, a Canadian branch in the Gothamist empire, is closing down.
At the end of this month, I will be stepping down as Torontoist’s Editor-in-Chief. I’ve loved everything about this job since I started it, and my decision to leave was not an easy one to make, but it is, ultimately, the right one at the right time for the right reasons. Gothamist has decided, as a result of both my resignation and the recession, to close Torontoist on January 1, 2009 and concentrate on their more lucrative American sites. That decision is the right one, too: as it exists now, Torontoist can barely be sustained, let alone developed, and it has survived and thrived as long as it has, in spite of modest means, largely because of the ceaseless hard work of that aforementioned collective.
Torontoist was actually pretty funny a lot of the time. And they also provided a paid blog outlet for Christopher Bird*, who is always a delight. It sounds like Seattlest is okay, but I'm willing to bet this won't be the last paid blogger collapse of 2008.
*And if you follow that last link to Bird's Mightygodking website, you will find a link to a blog named Way to Suck That Dick!, which is a critique of amateur porn that has been posted on the Internet. It's pretty funny and also creepy, which is what I like to call a "difecta."
As of the filing deadline last Friday evening, six candidates had filed to run for King County Elections Director, a position that voters decided to change from appointed to elected in November. They include a Renton schoolteacher obsessed with recalling Port Commissioner Pat Davis ; a former King County Council member who allegedly ">beat his own mother; a disgraced former elections director who was accused of assaulting a police officer with her car; a volatile state senator who allegedly pulled a gun on a staffer; the current elections director, whose recent move to King County is being challenged by Clifford; and a Seafirst manager I described last week as "some guy named Bill Anderson," who you can read all about here. Among those who filed campaign papers with the state Public Disclosure Commission earlier this month, three—former King County Council chief of Staff Ross Baker, port commissioner Lloyd Hara, and recent UW graduate Ted Maroutso—did not officially file for the office.

Battlefield Earth? The awfulness is legendary. If you're going to see awful films, you might as well see them with David Schmader as your guide:
From Bad to Worse… is a six-week descent in the depths of cinematic hell led by local writer/performer David Schmader. Schmader premiered his annotated screening of Paul Verhoeven's notorious stripper drama Showgirls at the Northwest Film Forum in 1999, after which he toured the "live cinema essay" to film festivals around the country and recorded his critically acclaimed commentary for MGM's special-edition Showgirls DVD in 2002. During the Showgirls touring, audience members asked, "What movie's next?," and From Bad to Worse… is the start of the answer.
A week ago, I barely survived Battlefield Earth. Tonight?
The horror. The horror.
The city's proposal to reduce Fauntleroy Way in West Seattle from four lanes to three to accommodate a new bike lane, as called for in the city's Bike Master Plan, is coming under fire on auto commuters on both sides of the ferry dock. As I reported, West Seattleites turned out en masse at the High Point Community Center a couple of weeks ago to protest the change, which several insisted would make their commutes several minutes longer. Tonight, Vashon Island residents will get their say at a meeting of the Vashon Maury Island Community Council, which will vote to ratify or reject a letter from the council bashing the proposal. (Background from the Vashon-Maury Island Beachcomber here.)
The letter, written by VMICC president-elect Jean Bosch "on behalf of Vashon Island residents," charges that reducing the number of lanes on Fauntleroy would impact "a significant number of people trying to commute to and from work and the ferry dock." It continues: "While SDOT has successfully reduced lanes on other arterials, none serve a ferry dock and the large surge loads of traffic created by ferry off-loading. ... We endorse trying to accommodate bicycles, but not at the expense of reducing traffic lanes."
The letter, which purports to speak for the entire community council, has angered some Vashon bus and bike commuters on the council who say it doesn't represent their perspective. In an email, Vashon resident Henry Haselton encouraged people to turn out and speak out against the letter and "in support of sustainability, safety and better bike infrastructure for those of us who bike or want to bike safely to Seattle." Tonight's community council meeting starts at 7:30 pm at Courthouse Square.
The Baghdad shoe thrower, Muntader al-Zaidi, is now a acquiring accolades from all over the Muslim world—including North Africa:
In Sadr City, the sprawling Baghdad suburb that has seen some of the most intense fighting between insurgents and American soldiers since the 2003 invasion, thousands of people marched in his defense. In Syria, he was hailed as a hero. In Libya, he was given an award for courage.
There's a fascinating story in this week's Entertainment Weekly about The Room, a movie that many are calling the Citizen Kane of bad movies.
The Room is a San Francisco-set love triangle involving a banker named Johnny, his friend Mark, and Johnny's fiancée Lisa, who is sleeping with both men. The film does seem to be beset with problems. Various subplots are inadequately resolved or simply disappear altogether, including the throwaway revelation that Lisa's mother is suffering from cancer. The film's many rooftop shots feature an unrealistic San Francisco backdrop, thanks to some less-than-impressive greenscreen work. There are lengthy, unerotic sex scenes, the last of which prompts a section of the audience to depart the auditorium temporarily in mock protest. Finally, in one sequence, a sharp bone seems about to erupt from Lisa's neck for no reason at all.
The movie has been showing as a Rocky Horror-style interactive midnight movie in Los Angeles for years now. Fans include Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, David Cross, and Will Arnett. I'm usually pretty skeptical of these sorts of "so bad it's good" pop culture experiences, but seriously: Here's the trailer.
The Room is available on DVD from Amazon, apparently, but I want the full, drunken midnight movie experience. Who does one have to blow to get this movie in Seattle for a weekend? Or is it whom does one have to blow? In any case, somebody should totally blow somebody else. And get The Room to Seattle.
When was the last time an American journalist became a folk hero?
You didn't watch the debates alone, you didn't watch returns on election night alone—don't watch Barack Obama's inauguration alone!
Come to the Stranger's Inaugural Ball—Seattle's only inaugural ball—Tuesday January 20, 2009, at the Triple Door. Doors open at 8AM, 21+, $7 cover. There will be a brunch buffet—catered by Wild Ginger—which is $18 (which includes tax and gratuity). Delicious food, cash bar, large screen TVs, the end of the Bush era—sounds like a party! For tickets call 206-838-4333 or go here. You can also get tickets through the Triple Door.
Where will you be at the precise moment when George W. Bush stops being president and Barack Hussein Obama starts being president? Come to Seattle's Seattle's only inaugural ball and you'll be in a crowd of insanely happy people with a glass of champagne in your hand! Join us!
The Homestead youth minister who pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter in the accidental shooting death of a 15-year-old girl was sentenced to house arrest this morning.... On Nov. 20, 2007, Mr. Owens brought a group of teenagers from a Hill District church to his house in Duquesne. He brought the shotgun down from his bedroom to show the group. He removed the ammunition from the gun at first, but later put one round in the chamber and placed the gun out of sight in the living room.Mr. Owens and most of the teens gathered on the front porch, but David Hamm remained in the living room, where he retrieved the gun and accidentally shot Chelsea McAlister in the face.