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News & ArtsTuesday, December 9, 2008
Science News from the Animal Kingdom
Posted by Charles Mudede on Tue, Dec 9, 2008 at 8:59 AM
The experiment consisted of taking pairs of dogs and getting them to present a paw for a reward. On giving this "handshake" the dogs received a piece of food.
One of the dogs was then asked to shake hands, but received no food. The other dog continued to get the food when it was asked to perform the task.
The dog without the reward quickly stopped doing the task, and showed signs of annoyance or stress when its partner was rewarded.
Deleuze, a French philosopher whose life ended soon after he jumped out of a window, once called barking “the very stupidest cry, the shame of the animal kingdom.” Now that we know that dogs can get all jealous and emotional like their masters, the humans, we might take it a step further and say that the dog itself, the dog as a dog, the dog as nothing else but a dog (its tongue, its panting, its dead breath, its moist eyes, its hair everywhere, its moody tail) is the shame of the animal kingdom. How I hate dogs.
1
It's OK Charles, most black people don't like dogs... and most dogs don't like black people either.
5
I often read slog posts without paying attention to the poster. Nine times out of ten when I get annoyed at what's being written I look up and see your name.
8
You know, what a more introspective and intuitive person might extrapolate from that study is that probably many, many animals other than humans show this behavior. Highly likely.
Therefore, this point of hating just dogs for it is fucking stupid.
Therefore, this point of hating just dogs for it is fucking stupid.
9
:-( Chhaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrlllllllleeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssss!!! But I got you a puppy for Christmas! Whatever will I do with it?
11
I want Amy Kate back. There used to be one person there who didn't hate animals and you all drove her away.
12
@6, but i own two miniature lions. i love miniature loins. my lovely small shumba (or simba) is licking itself at this very moment.
14
Dogs can be so gross. Cats poop in a box and discreetly cover it up for you. Dogs are like, "I'm going to poop on the ground at a spot of my own choosing, and then you pick it up in a baggie, while it's still warm!"
Ach, but they're frickin' cute. My heart yearns for those Shiba Inus. I want to roll on the floor with all six of them.
Ach, but they're frickin' cute. My heart yearns for those Shiba Inus. I want to roll on the floor with all six of them.
15
For many of us, one of the reason that we like dogs is because they "get emotional like their masters". I grew up with cats, which cannot even remotely compare to dogs in this regard, at least the breed of dog that I own (not so sure about those little yippy ones).
It's fine to think that dogs are hairy or smelly, or just to not like them -- I think it's pretty hilarious that you want to justify this belief with philosophy.
It's fine to think that dogs are hairy or smelly, or just to not like them -- I think it's pretty hilarious that you want to justify this belief with philosophy.
16
charles, you're a pointless pompous befuddles ass... i really hope when you put your head on the pillow at night you realize what you posit is beyond complete nonsense, jeez, if you're any indication it's no surprise the condition Zimbabwe is in if what you do passes for 'thinking'... nonetheless the line:
Deleuze, a French philosopher whose life ended soon after he jumped out of a window
was funny
enjoy the tiny compliment, I can't imagine another one coming along anytime soon
Deleuze, a French philosopher whose life ended soon after he jumped out of a window
was funny
enjoy the tiny compliment, I can't imagine another one coming along anytime soon
19
@8: agreed.
The scope of human behavior about which we can hold up and shout "Hey look! Just us!" becomes smaller and smaller every day.
The scope of human behavior about which we can hold up and shout "Hey look! Just us!" becomes smaller and smaller every day.
20
charles: i love your posts. they are inflated and hilarious. 'the moody tail' shall haunt my day.
...but 'miniature loins'?
...but 'miniature loins'?
23
The experiment consisted of taking pairs of college students and getting them to write postmodern-marxist papers for a reward. On completing this "assignment" the students received a grade. After graduation one of the students then continued to write, but received no grades. The other student went to graduate school and continued to receive grades for papers.
The student without the reward quickly showed signs of annoyance or stress when its partner was rewarded.
The student without the reward quickly showed signs of annoyance or stress when its partner was rewarded.
24
Charles, you're a pretentious cat worshipper. I might have predicted it, although I am surprised that you are so dismissive of the discovery that dogs have a sense of injustice. But people who worship cats are weird. At least, every single person I've ever met who was a cat worshipper was weird. Sorry. I like cats in the abstract, but everything that cat lovers think is charming about cats I cannot stand (like relay races run around the bedroom at 4:00 AM).
If you own more than one dog, and actually train them, you can use this trait (jealousy, a sense of injustice) to your advantage. For instance, I teach fast downs (useful in Agility) by getting out the treats, saying "DOWN!" and the dog who lies down the fastest gets the treat.
Dogs will do things for you and with you, so they're just generally more fun to have around.
If you own more than one dog, and actually train them, you can use this trait (jealousy, a sense of injustice) to your advantage. For instance, I teach fast downs (useful in Agility) by getting out the treats, saying "DOWN!" and the dog who lies down the fastest gets the treat.
Dogs will do things for you and with you, so they're just generally more fun to have around.
25
With minimal training, dogs are well-behaved and will protect their masters with their lives. But no matter how much training they have, they're all clowns down deep. This is not a flaw. It's an expression of passion, of love.
Cats on the other hand are cruel and selfish. They suffer from delusions of grandeur, sassing around the house like they fucking own the place, pissing in the corners for their own selfish reasons...cats cannot be trusted. They are not fun. At best, they are indifferent. At worst, they are schemers, actively plotting against us.
Since you like recasting pop culture to make philosophical points: The Dark Knight's Joker, an agent of chaos, said it well: "I'm like a dog chasing after cars...I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught one. I just do things."
Dogs just do things. They are wild and chaotic and full of heart, if not brains. They're FUN. Cats are brainy, but cold in their souls. And so are you sometimes, Charles.
Cats on the other hand are cruel and selfish. They suffer from delusions of grandeur, sassing around the house like they fucking own the place, pissing in the corners for their own selfish reasons...cats cannot be trusted. They are not fun. At best, they are indifferent. At worst, they are schemers, actively plotting against us.
Since you like recasting pop culture to make philosophical points: The Dark Knight's Joker, an agent of chaos, said it well: "I'm like a dog chasing after cars...I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught one. I just do things."
Dogs just do things. They are wild and chaotic and full of heart, if not brains. They're FUN. Cats are brainy, but cold in their souls. And so are you sometimes, Charles.
26
Charles - scroll down to the last item in the morning news post. That will tell you what dogs are truly like.
Your cats on the other hand? They wouldn't even bother to piss on you if you were on fire.
But it's ok, I know why you love cats, it's because of the toxoplasmosis brain parasites. It's not your fault.
Your cats on the other hand? They wouldn't even bother to piss on you if you were on fire.
But it's ok, I know why you love cats, it's because of the toxoplasmosis brain parasites. It's not your fault.
28
@25: My cat is epic. I have witnesses. And she is just as emotionally bonded and well trained as a dog.
But dogs are cool, I just happen to live in a 1 bedroom where I think its cruel to have a dog, since dogs need a yard (or at least more room then I can given).
But dogs are cool, I just happen to live in a 1 bedroom where I think its cruel to have a dog, since dogs need a yard (or at least more room then I can given).
30
So, because dogs exhibit the intelligence and the self-awareness to NOT blindly perform a stupid task under blatantly inequitable circumstances, THIS is your stated reason for hating dogs?
You got a hiccup in your thinkin' muscle, Charles.
You got a hiccup in your thinkin' muscle, Charles.
31
Dogs should be pitied but not hated. They can't do anything about the position they are in. It is dog owners who should be hated.
32
There is really nothing more useless than the out-moded philosophy of second-rate philosophers. What we are currently learning is that we and higher mammals are far closer in nature than previously theorized by behavioral scientists and biologists. Prior to the 1970's it was generally accepted that only humans reasoned and felt emotion; that homo-centric reasoning is being debunked. Charles, you seem to be saying that by extension you also hate humans for being human.
33
shoot. i could have told the researchers this. my dog gets INSANELY jealous anytime a new dog is around. i was at an outside bar the other day with her, my friend sara, and her new dog. my pup wouldn't even look at the other dog, and spent the whole time pressed up against my leg.
34
BTW, Charles, dogs are nothing but domesticated wolves (such that wolves and dogs can interbreed and have fertile offspring, not that that's a good idea--yes, even a Chihuahua could impregnate a wolf) but your "little lions" cannot interbreed with REAL lions (or tigers, or any other large wild cat)
35
I like dogs, but I'll probably always like cats a bit more. When I was growing up, however, I didn't really care for dogs at all. For unrelated reasons, in my 20's, I started taking zoloft. While I was on it I started to appreciate dogs. I began to like them, respect them, see their beauty, and regard them as more than slobbery nuisances. I have been off zoloft for many years, but happily, liking dogs never went away.
So...yeah. Ha ha! Make of that what you will. For me it took improved serotonin levels.
So...yeah. Ha ha! Make of that what you will. For me it took improved serotonin levels.
37
Cats are to dogs as Ben Johnson is to Shakespeare. Chew on that a while. Like Samuel Johnson, I admire the former, but love the latter.
The most profound difference between them is that the predator has been largely (though not entirely) bred out of the canine, while the cat has murder forever on its mind. Indeed, that it doesn't eat YOU is a function of its size, not any lack of volition on the animal's part.
It's interesting, Charles, that you would use evidence that dogs are more like us than we could ever realize as ground for more contempt.
The most profound difference between them is that the predator has been largely (though not entirely) bred out of the canine, while the cat has murder forever on its mind. Indeed, that it doesn't eat YOU is a function of its size, not any lack of volition on the animal's part.
It's interesting, Charles, that you would use evidence that dogs are more like us than we could ever realize as ground for more contempt.
38
I love cats, but I do not find that charming. Any late night hijinks get the cat booted from the bedroom. Being a smart kitty, she's quickly learned to stay quiet until the morning.
There are documented cases of cats saving their owners from fire.
I like cats in the abstract, but everything that cat lovers think is charming about cats I cannot stand (like relay races run around the bedroom at 4:00 AM).
I love cats, but I do not find that charming. Any late night hijinks get the cat booted from the bedroom. Being a smart kitty, she's quickly learned to stay quiet until the morning.
Your cats on the other hand? They wouldn't even bother to piss on you if you were on fire.
There are documented cases of cats saving their owners from fire.
39
cats mean no rats. dogs can do nothing about rats. because rats are the worsts, cats are the best.
40
@39 Large rats are too much for a cat to handle. A rat terrier can kill more rats with greater dispatch than any cat.
45
Whoa.....How did this turn into a cat vs. dog debate? So Mudede doesn't like dogs. Big deal. I was raised with cats and dogs, and they are both wonderful animals. Personally, I prefer cats, and all you folks (15, 24, 25, 26, 37) who are down on them are just plain wrong. My Pete and Sam are affectionate, loyal, smart and beautiful. I can't imagine life without them. But dogs are cool, too, and I know several dogs in my neighborhood who are my friends. Why don't we just be glad we get to share our lives with our beloved four-legged friends, and forget that silly nonsense from Charles.
46
Let's do this mudede style:
Charles hates dogs because dogs have everything he lacks, and he owns nothing the do not. He lacks their ability to see themselves as they are, which is not a golden god, a lion, a eagle, but a dog, a human, a imperfect being.
Dogs find true happiness in their contentment in being flawed, Charles tries and tries to prove to himself and to his readers that he is perfect, and intellectual, a leader of thinkers, he is uncontent because he cannot come to terms with his inability to be extraordinary, and no one is validating his efforts by being tricked into believing either.
Dogs love to hump. They know it is carnal and they hardly ever (i can't remember a time) try to relate it to the universe or existence, or politics, or cultural differences, because they are intelligent enough to tell when it is crazy to do so. I assume Charles loves to hump. He does not have the wisdom to hold off on rape-condoning posts.
Charles hates dogs because dogs have everything he lacks, and he owns nothing the do not. He lacks their ability to see themselves as they are, which is not a golden god, a lion, a eagle, but a dog, a human, a imperfect being.
Dogs find true happiness in their contentment in being flawed, Charles tries and tries to prove to himself and to his readers that he is perfect, and intellectual, a leader of thinkers, he is uncontent because he cannot come to terms with his inability to be extraordinary, and no one is validating his efforts by being tricked into believing either.
Dogs love to hump. They know it is carnal and they hardly ever (i can't remember a time) try to relate it to the universe or existence, or politics, or cultural differences, because they are intelligent enough to tell when it is crazy to do so. I assume Charles loves to hump. He does not have the wisdom to hold off on rape-condoning posts.
47
@34
Interesting, if it is consistently true. Especially in light of the fact that dogs have been domesticated for far longer than cats, and cats are much closer in nature to wild cats than dogs are in nature to wild dogs.
Given the level of domestication that dogs have gone through, one would almost expect the opposite - that dogs would have a tougher time reproducing with their wild relatives. What's going on there...?
Interesting, if it is consistently true. Especially in light of the fact that dogs have been domesticated for far longer than cats, and cats are much closer in nature to wild cats than dogs are in nature to wild dogs.
Given the level of domestication that dogs have gone through, one would almost expect the opposite - that dogs would have a tougher time reproducing with their wild relatives. What's going on there...?
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