Although the artist behind the Wall of Death—an art installation along the Burke Gilman Trail that's been used as an unofficial skatepark for the last decade—says he designed the sculpture to be used for skateboarding, the city says it has no plans to provide a new, covered space to skaters to replace the Wall of Death site.
Skaters have been lobbying the city for another covered skate spot after Seattle Department of Transportation employees installed anti-skate barrier at the site in October but, according to SDOT spokesman Rick Sheridan:
The city at this point is not exploring other potential areas for skateboarders.The city has a history of looking out for the interests of skateboarders. The Marginal Way Skatepark for example is one that’s currently operating on public right of way.
But at this point due to the changes made near the Burke Gilman Trail we're not looking for additional improvements elsewhere to facilitate skateboarding.
It sounds like skaters are SOL and as we head into another dark, rainy winter, skaters are now left with only one covered skate spot: the Marginal Way Skatepark.
The four-year-old Marginal Way Skatepark (MWS)—a completely DIY skatepark in SoDo built and maintained by volunteers—is open but is only about 75% complete and MWS board member Tim Demmon says his group needs about $50,000 to finish the park. "It’s the only covered skatepark in Seattle [where] it rains a lot," he says.
So far, Demmon says the MWS hasn't gotten any money from the city. Maybe that needs to change. While the city's strapped for cash right now and has canceled plans for several other skateparks around the city, this seems like an easy and relatively inexpensive way to make up for killing the Wall of Death.
It's incredibly unlikely the city's going to cough up any money for skaters in these tough economic times, but if you've got an piles of cash lying around, you can drop by one of the two MWS fundraisers this weekend and support your local DIY skatepark.


As I've written before, residents of West Seattle turned out en masse a couple of weeks ago to oppose a proposal to shrink Fauntleroy Way SW from four lanes to three, arguing that streets are for cars, not bikes. (Not surprisingly, the majority of those present were drivers from either West Seattle or Vashon Island, although a fair number of cyclists showed up as well.) The Seattle Department of Transportation just provided me with a copy of all the public comments submitted in writing at that meeting (which, as I've noted elsewhere, are not votes—he who screams the loudest does not automatically win), a selection of which I've reproduced (in some cases editing slightly for spelling) below. Taken together, the 109 written comments constitute an interesting dialectic—illustrating that no solution can make everyone happy, and that cyclists' and drivers' perceived needs will never really intersect. Also—and I say this as a journalist and profligate note-taker—I am shocked at the current state of penmanship in America.
The comments:
We do not need bicycle lanes on Fauntleroy Way—somebody will get killed. Bicycles have no business on Fauntleroy.
This is the worst idea in the history of the DOT. It would create a very large backup at the intersection of Fauntleroy and Alaska, including both directions, If I were a bicyclist I would not take my life by riding on Fauntleroy. The ferry traffic is too fast paces as the rush to catch their boat. Fauntleroy does need to be repaved, though.
Thank goodness! Bicyclists in W. Seattle will have a safer route to get to work and play, and more cyclists will be interested in trying bike commuting. Thanks!
Drivers are very good about moving over for bicycles and there are almost no left turners to worry about. If the lanes are reduced to only one in each direction the congestion will be terrible.
I would love to ride my bike down Fauntleroy, but traffic is too heavy. Maybe this will encourage people to use public transportation more, carpool or bike. We need less cars on the road.
Penny-wise and pound foolish! Makes more sense to ENFORCE SPEED LIMITS and ticket jaywalkers... I suggest you repave the street AND make a separate bike lane on the sidewalk!
A center turn lane would benefit cars and pedestrians trying to cross what has been a very busy speedway. Anything that would reduce speed on Fauntleroy would be great.
We need to have a quick way to move people from the ferry (as well as others in West Seattle). Taking away lanes to allow a few bicycles to have a dedicated lane is unfair.
Anything that slows down traffic on this stretch is a good thing for safety.
This plan is full of shit! Back to the drawing board!
Bicycles pay NO TAX they must not have priority over autos, trucks that do.
I commute to Ballard from the Endolyne neighborhood and the longest part of my commute is getting to the freeway entrance at 35th & Fauntleroy. This will only make my commute longer and no I can't take the bus or ride my bike.
Sure safety is a concern—but is this the only idea you have? What about having only one side of street parking (or none)? What about increasing the roadway width?
Turn so-called "parking strips" into true parking strips for cars. I'll personally help move (transplant) small trees or even cut down older trees to accommodate all the cars parked on both sides of the street. This frees up 2 lanes pronto—PLEASE CONSIDER. Let's change the law if necessary.
Reducing lanes slows up traffic and YOU KNOW IT! Be reasonable and listen to WE THE PEOPLE!
I have lived in West Seattle for 23 years. I never travel on Delrdige because it is 2 lanes and you always get behind someone going twenty-five mph and you have to pass them.
I'm totally in favor with the proposed plan. Speeds on this corridor are too fast above the speed limit and there is no good bike route through this area except residential streets that do not have street lighting.
The volume of traffic as it currently exists during peak hours is too great and will be delayed by at least a minute due to this change. One minute times the number of commuters is a lot of time.
Decrease Fauntleroy speed limit to 30 MPH for the entire boulevard.
I've met people here tonight from the other side of Fauntleroy that I didn't know existed! They are on the other side of that great gulf! Calmer streets = community. Calm traffic!
Not only can you get full episodes of Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Veronica Mars, In Living Color and more at TheWB.com, now you can find the original web series Children's Hospital — a verrrrrry funny takeoff on E.R., Grey's Anatomy, and other icky hospital dramas. And even better, it stars such comic greats as creator Rob Corddry (as a creepy Patch Adams wanna-be), Ed Helms, Megan Mullally, David Wain, Rob Huebel, and Stephen Colbert! Each episode is only about six minutes long, so you can totally sneak one or two by the boss. PLUS! The entire 10 episode season is already up online!
Here's a clip, and then rush over and check it out. This one is a keeper!

So when we were sorting items out for our Strangercrombie catalog—you might want to sit down for a second, here—we fucked up. We forgot to include one particular item. So we're starting an auction on that item starting right now, and I'm willing to be it'll turn out to be a real bargain. Here's the item:
30 Seconds of Christmassy Genius!Fancy, award-winning writers/directors/animators Tony Mullen and Rob Cunningham (creators of the delicately crafted, comically pitch-perfect short film Gustav Braustache and the Auto-Debilitator) will make a 30-second surreal video Christmas card just for you! Send them a photo of yourself, your pet, your mom, your couch, or whatever you like, and they will integrate it into the video in some tasteful, respectful, hilarious way. You’ll receive the finished product on a lovingly gift-wrapped DVD. PRICELESS! OPENING BID: $1.99!
Apologies to Misters Mullen and Cunningham. Clearly, this is a great goddamned item. And clearly, this great goddamned item is up for auction for less than half the time of the other Strangercrombie packages, which means there'll be less time to drive up the bid, which means you can profit on our fuckup. Go! Bid! Buy!
Strangercrombie. Once a year we do something good™...and even then we'll fuck it up!
I noticed this sign at the 15th Ave QFC the other night. It was hanging in space, cold and lonely.

"Well say, greengrocerman, I have $10! This sounds like my kind of bargain! Now tell me, what items can I purchase to take advantage of this terrific offer?"
"Ten. You can get ten."
"Ten! Yes, you certainly have sold me on the number of items, and the convenient price, which is also ten. But what am I purchasing? Ten of what?"
"Ten items. For $10."
"What items?"
"Ten."
"You can't just say 'ten.'"
"For $10."
"Ten what!? Can I get ten large hams? Five salmons and five lemons? Seven ears of corn and two unattended toddlers and one Duraflame log? TEN WHAT?"
"Ten for $10. You can mix. Or match."
"I am going to kill you, greengrocerman."
"Fair enough."
Blaming a tough economy, Whole Foods executives sent an ominous letter to all employees in its Pacific Northwest stores last month that warns of potential layoffs, announces a hiring freeze, and says new stores are on hold.
“Many teams are clearly overstaffed for their current sales and are at the point where labor needs to be reduced…” the memo says. It adds that as “sales soften,” the company has accumulated $59,000 in labor deficits. “Team sales and labor will be reviewed in January and tough decisions may be made if we are unable to achieve sales to labor balance by that time.” The memo says no layoffs will occur before January.
According to several sources, the largest local Whole Foods store at 56,000 square feet, located in Bellevue, has been lacking for sufficient business. Meanwhile, as Jonah reported, the company delayed plans for a store in Interbay and announced plans to downsize it.
In fact, the Texas-based chain plans to only build smaller stores from now on.
“We are looking at sites that are under 40,000 square feet as a format for our stores as we go forward,” says Vicki Foley, a Whole Foods regional spokeswoman. “That is not just our region—that’s for the whole county.” While 40,000 square feet is still large, it marks a departure from competing with the Safeway and QFC mega-markets.
But the size of the stores may be a secondary explanation for the slump in sales in poor times. Whole Foods is notoriously expensive, earning the nickname “Whole Paycheck.”
“Obviously, we don’t like the name Whole Paycheck,” says Foley, “because we comparative shop with other stores in the area, checking to make sure we are not more expensive than anybody else.”
Meanwhile, Trader Joe’s, which only operates smaller stores and sells generic nonperishable items at low prices, seems to be holding strong. An employee at the Capitol Hill store said there are no concerns about layoffs or a slump in business there. Nobody from the Trader Joe’s national office has returned calls to comment.
This is making me so happy right now.
Austenbook!

Thanks to Metafilter/Andrew (who adds: "This is like if McSweeney's posts lived up to their promise").
Tom at Omnivoracious has done a little detective work to figure out what those books behind Obama in his presidential addresses are:
He's pretty sure they're a collection titled Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: John F. Kennedy, 1961, 1962 and 1963. Now the question is: Are they a gift? Is Obama really reading them? Are they subliminal advertising? I can't believe I care so much about what a president-elect is reading.
I just learned that BLVD Gallery in Belltown is closing at the end of this year. The final show at the gallery's current location is actually not put on by the gallery itself, but but another entity called Red Star Press, and it's an exhibition of graffiti and "urban artists" from China.
This designation "urban artists" and "urban art"—BLVD's stated purview—I have never been particularly clear about or interested in, but I really like the man who runs this gallery, Damion Hayes, and I realize it's sacrilege to say this, but I think he has a more interesting roster of artists at this point than Roq la Rue, of which BLVD is an offshoot. I'm totally saddened to hear he's struggling, and I hope the economy won't swallow BLVD whole. It may simply relocate, Hayes wrote in an email:
We are putting the gallery on hiatus as we look for a new space perhaps on Capitol Hill or down in the Square. Belltown is just not a good environment for retail right now. I will be putting those Ron English posters up real soon and will let you know when that happens.
This Is China! (again, at BLVD but not a BLVD production) opens Friday, 6 to 9 pm.
You might remember this artist and train lover from a few months ago on Slog—or simply from walking around in Belltown, where he left his mark during his gallery show.

Via The Daily Beast, and in honor of the amazing Gov. Rod Blagojevich of Illinois:
Hands on buzzers: One's a trash-talking thug trying to stay one step ahead of the law. The other was played by James Gandolfini. Can you identify the speaker of the ten quotes below?1. "Unless I get something real good...shit, I'll just send myself, you know what I'm saying."
2. "What the fuck am I, a toxic person or something?"
3. "Log off, that "cookies" shit makes me nervous!"
4. "They're not willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them."
The rest, and an answer key, here.
Let's begin with the opening lines of Lawrence Vambe's remarkable history of pre-colonial Zimbabwe, An Ill-Fated People.
Almost as soon as you began to be able to absorb facts and to recognize human and animal forms you saw dogs everywhere. There was an infinity of dogs, little, big, tame or vicious dogs whose physical condition largely depended on what they could sniff and scavenge out of the village garbage heap rather than on the generosity and animal-loving nature of their masters.
Now, let's isolate (or bracket) and give thought to this line: "...the generosity and animal-loving nature of their masters." What type of generosity is this? The generosity that we find in a dog owner has its cause in the curious human need for something that is needy. Humans have the need to be needed. The dog owner needs the dog's neediness. And the dog is loyal because its needs are met by the owner; and the owner's need for being needed is satisfied by the dog's complete dependence. And the more the dog depends on the master, the more love it gets from the owner. This is why certain dog owners often compare the care of a dog to the raising of a child—a child has nothing but needs. And the only thing we can fully trust is a thing that gives us all of its needs.
A person whose worst fear is betrayal is the sort of person who owns a dog.
Once the relationship between the dog and its owner is established, there is a strange development. The dog owner allows the dog to take control of more and more of his/her life. But this reward of control is in the context of the exchange of needs—the need for being needed that is satisfied by the absolute neediness, the dog. (Cats are not needy.) So, when a dog owner says, "I do not walk my dog, the dog walks me," this is the need for being needed in its state of freedom. Because the dog has surrendered all of its needs, it is permitted to dominate the need that needs its neediness.
The end result of this domination finds its expression in the dog owner picking up his/her dog's shit. For many of us, picking up dog poop during walks in the park or the city street is the very reason why we do not own the creature. We have no access to the pleasure of being fully needed. (We prefer cats.) Indeed, the owner of the dog wants us to see him/her picking up the poop. The visibility of the lowly act adds to the first pleasure—being dominated by the need the feeds your neediness. Everyone knows it's disgusting, and the dog owner knows that what they are doing disgusts others, but they are indifferent to our disgust because all they see in this picking up (a raw aufhebung), and what they want us to see, is an absolute love of the thing that needs it absolutely. Holding the poop in his/her hand, the dog owner is showing us the power of this love. We cannot love like them. The dog owner's love is beyond us.

Whole Foods Market's dispute with the Federal Trade Commission over the larger company's takeover of Wild Oats Market has hit (close to) home: the 270-store natural-foods behemoth is seeking to force New Seasons Market, a nine-store natural-foods chain in Portland, to divulge confidential records, including market studies, strategic plans, expansion proposals, product lists, and weekly sales information for the past two years.
Although New Seasons is not involved in the lawsuit, Whole Foods says it needs the information to demonstrate that its takeover of smaller competitor Wild Oats is not harming other competitors. The battle has been documented in the Oregonian, on Gourmet's web site by Barry Estabrook (who wonders why, "with major airline mergers and multi-billion-dollar banks rushing to leap into bed with each other," the FTC is fixated on a relatively minor half-billion-dollar merger), and in painstaking detail on New Seasons' blog, where company CEO Brian Rother expresses doubt that Whole Foods will keep his company's private information private.
Whole Foods says that we should give our information to their lawyers and they claim the lawyers won’t let anyone else in the organization see them. That’s like trusting the fox to guard the henhouse – and we don’t have any faith it’s going to work like that.I’m sorry to say this, but some of the people at Whole Foods have a history of less than stellar behavior when it comes to competing fairly. There are two obvious examples of this. First, last year, their CEO John Mackey was caught posting derogatory information online about Wild Oats, using a made up screen name. Here’s a New York Times story about that.
Second, during the first round of this law suit last year, the FTC released a bunch of e-mails that some Whole Foods executives had sent over the previous few years. You can find the entire (really lengthy) FTC report here, but just to give you a flavor of it, below are a few excerpts of Whole Foods’ comments in regards to Wild Oats:
“Wild Oats needs to be removed from the playing field...”
“…[m]y goal is simple – I want to crush them and am willing to spend a lot of money in the process.”
“...elimination of a competitor in the marketplace, competition for sites, competition for acquisitions, and operational economies of scale. We become the Microsoft of the natural foods industry.”Yikes!
Rother writes that New Seasons is "running up whopping legal bills" fighting Whole Foods, and he told the Oregonian he estimates collecting the information in the subpoena could cost $500,000.

The Washington Post's Hank Steuver has a thing or two to say about men kissing. Specifically, straight men kissing on film, as James Franco and Sean Penn did in the movie Milk.
He isn't against it—as readers of the Stranger probably know, Steuver's gay—but he is getting pretty sick of listening to idiotic film writers ask straight actors... you know (snicker)... what was it like to kiss a GUY?
Wasn't it really difficult to kiss another man? Implied: Without throwing up, seeing as you're so obviously straight? What were you thinking as you kissed? Did you rehearse it? What was it liiiiiike?Underlying the questions (and the answers) is this notion that a gay kissing scene must be the worst Hollywood job hazard that a male actor could face, including stunt work, extreme weather or sitting through five hours of special-effects makeup every day.
Take, for example, this exchange on Letterman, quoted by Steuver:
"I didn't want to screw it up," Franco told Letterman on "Late Show" last week."See, if it's me, I'm kind of hoping I do screw it up," Letterman shot back. "That's what you want, isn't it?"
"To screw it up?" Franco asked.
"I mean, do you really want to be good at kissing a guy?" Letterman said as his audience howled with delight.
In one way, it's hard to believe this kind of casually homophobic machismo still exists. In a world where Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" tops the charts, Lindsay Lohan's maybe-gayness spawns a rash of publicity-hungry copycats, and making out with your friends for men's titillation is a sex-ay college rite of passage, Steuver wonders, why are people still so freaked out when two straight guys suck face?
"No one ever asks Neil Patrick Harris what it's like to play a straight guy who sleeps with lots of women" on the sitcom "How I Met Your Mother," [Corey Scholibo, entertainment editor for the Advocate magazine] says. "No one ever asks him how 'gross' it is to kiss a woman."To answer this, Scholibo takes off his gay media hat and puts forth the biggest academic "duh" in cultural studies: "Everything in culture is rooted in the idea of masculinity, patriarchy . . . hegemony. You have to be disgusted by two men kissing, otherwise there goes [your] masculinity. If an actor were to say he enjoyed a scene where he kisses another man, then he's somehow less of a man."
And the answers actors routinely give to these questions don't do much to combat that idea:
Straight actors who've taken on gay roles usually give the same answer — a combination of disgust, bravado (resolving to get through it and earn their paycheck) and the sure-is-weird feeling of stubble not their own.
"Soon as they say 'cut,' you spit. You want to go to a strip bar or touch the makeup girls. You feel dirty. It's a tough job," Chris Potter, an actor in Showtime's "Queer as Folk," once told MSNBC. (Another actor from that show, Hal Sparks, was more circumspect: "Definitely there's an ick factor. It's a little bit like French-kissing your dad.")
Which makes me love James Franco even more. In response to Letterman's idiotic line of questioning, he responded, "If you wanted, I'd kiss you right now." And then he did.
Slog tipper Ziggity writes:
Hey folks,Just submitted (ha!) my entry to the Bottom Monologues, a Vagina Monologue for dudes who enjoy getting fucked. I think Sloggers would like to read about it before Eve Ensler tears it a new one (ha! again).
The website has buttery buns all over it, so NSFW (for people who don't work at The Stranger).
To clarify, there are no stories up on the site right now, it's just a place for you to, um, deposit yours. I asked Ziggity if he would we willing to share his entry with Slog readers, but he declined.
The English poet would've been 400 years old today.

You can find almost all his major works for free at Project Gutenberg. I'd say you can arguably learn more about Christianity, both its good aspects and its bad, by reading Paradise Lost than you can by reading The Bible.
...are usually defeated. But not this time:
Bank of America says it will extend credit to a Chicago window and door maker whose workers have occupied the factory for five days.The bank said Tuesday that it's willing to give the Republic Windows and Doors factory "a limited amount of additional loans." That's so it can resolve claims of employees who have staged a sit-in since Friday. The factory closed Friday after Bank of America canceled its financing.
Thanks for the tip, Travis.
Last Thursday, a squad of narcotics officers raided a Texas house they suspected of containing a pot-growing operation. But when they walked in, they found—not pot—only two Christmas trees under grow lamps. A note on the wall said the cops were the ones under investigation, and every room in the house had cameras rolling. Hah! Under the leadership of former police officer Barry Cooper, a new reality show called KopBusters had orchestrated the county’s first-ever reverse-sting on a drug raid:
KopBusters rented a house in Odessa, Texas and began growing two small Christmas trees under a grow light similar to those used for growing marijuana. When faced with a suspected marijuana grow, the police usually use illegal FLIR cameras and/or lie on the search warrant affidavit claiming they have probable cause to raid the house. Instead of conducting a proper investigation which usually leads to no probable cause, the Kops lie on the affidavit claiming a confidential informant saw the plants and/or the police could smell marijuana coming from the suspected house.The trap was set and less than 24 hours later, the Odessa narcotics unit raided the house only to find KopBuster's attorney waiting under a system of complex gadgetry and spy cameras that streamed online to the KopBuster's secret mobile office nearby.
You can watch the cops searching the house, guns drawn and ready to shoot—ostensibly at docile pot growers—in this video. And here’s the report on the local news (it's kinda loud, so you may want to turn down the volume):
Does this mean we should all start growing tomatoes in our basement to foil local cops? Not so much. When the cops come, they be snooping through your house with guns drawn, too. And, as we know, cops regularly shoot unarmed people in their houses when they suspect dangerous ol’ drugs are involved. But cops aren’t big on busting grow houses around these parts. If you did start a basement garden, you’d probably just get a fine crop of tomatoes and a wicked electricity bill. Best to leave it to the pros: KopBusters vows to take their campaign across the country.
Via Reason.

Photo of Wienermobile in downtown Seattle by Strudel! on Flickr.
Don't despair, journalism-school graduates! Your fancy diploma will still get you in the door at one venerable US company—Oscar Meyer, which just announced that it's accepting resumes for one-year spots driving the Wienermobile (above). Bonus points if you have a BA in communications or journalism, even more bonus points if you have "a friendly personality" and "boundless enthusiasm." The company typically gets more than 1,000 applications for 12 spots—making your odds of getting a job, as the Boston Globe points out, statistically worse than getting into Harvard! On the bright side, you're probably more likely to get into Harvard than get a job at a newspaper these days, so why not give it a shot? Position closes January 31, so get a move on!
The ladies at Dear Author,... live-blogged reading The Duchess, Her Maid, The Groom, and Their Lover by Victoria Janssen.
8:26 SB Sarah: blood...rape... he's gonna kill you... oh yeah. it's a total uplifting first 3 pages.
8:26 DA_Jane: The duchy has a palace with high white walls.
8:26 SB Sarah: And she has eunuch guards.
8:26 DA_Jane: oohh! The first siting of the eunichs: "Two weeks after Mistress Annette’s visit, she strolled there, her two eunuch guards trailing behind. Kaspar and Arno knew when she was not in the mood for conversation; this cool spring evening, they did not even speak quietly with each other."
8:26 SB Sarah: Kaspar and Arno
8:26 DA_Jane: what sarah said
8:27 jenamberautumn: uh huh. Where does this take place again?
8:27 SB Sarah: BEHOLD THE EUNUCHS.
They also apparently offended people—some of whom are friends with the author—as they read the book:
You (the hosts) started out by admitting you didn’t notify the author because you thought it would be bad. So, you’re kicking off a new “review” style with something you bought with a negative prejudice? That right there should have told me this wasn’t a “review” but an attempt at entertainment and if you actually liked the book, it would have failed. There was nothing related to a critical or literary review. This was to entertain people and the easiest way the hosts had of entertaining and getting that ego boost of a few vultures vocally cheering was by apealing to the lowest common denominator. People like me just stayed silent or logged off in disgust. Now I am ashamed.Frankly, this format is clearly not suitable for you. You were too caught up in trying to entertain the masses to actually read the book and thus missed or misrepresented some pretty obvious stuff. Like, duh, of course all the names were puns (which should be all right with a crowd that thought punning Duchy with dookie and douche was funny, oh wait, it’s only funny when you’re making fun of someone…), and Maxim (who does have a big cock) led a protectorate that used to be a Duchy equal to the one that now rules it…Whatever.
Ah, the internet.
In today's post, about this week's Slog Happy, wigmore asks:
umm... whats an example of an appropriate gift for such a function? I am new to this whole x-massy thing. I'm recovering from a life as a "Christians-for-Moses". But I am two years sober with no relapses, i swear.
I think wigmore has an excellent question. What kind of presents are YOU bringing to the Slog Happy gift exchange? Maybe a mix CD of songs featuring past or present professional athletes? Bacon-flavored toothpicks? Lottery tickets?
Think cheap, free, or handmade.
...if you don't have a Slog Commenter calendar?
If you donate to Treehouse via our Strangercrombie Paypal button:
...you can get your choice of gifts: If you donate a measly 20 bucks (That's like half of what some of us sent Obama every time Sarah Palin sneezed!) to Treehouse, you'll get a really attractive Stranger tote bag, like you see on the left there.
If you give 50 bucks (or more!), you'll get your choice of either a Ladies of Slog or a Gentlemen of Slog calendar, (printed by the good folks at SpeedyLitho, Inc.) in which many of our most prominent Slog commenters act out some of the biggest Slog controversies of our time (the Every Child Deserves a Mother and Father and Youth Pastor Watch entries are particularly disturbing/hilarious.)
And while not every page is a cheesecake-fest, there is a good portion of cheesecake (with bacon!) representation from both genders. Like so:


Yes, indeedy! There's nothing like a good old fashioned naked-flesh bacon-drapin'. So if you always lose at eBay auctions, you've got these items to keep you warm at night. Bid here:
And know you've done a good thing. And bought a weird, perverse thing. At the same time!
Strangercrombie. Once a year, we do something good™.
It's coming, the end of the world as we know it, it's coming!
But even more important, you would like it.
Here is now a photograph of a hot model, intended to demonstrate how much liking there is to do in this potential world of miraculous transactions.

What I believe you should be notified of is a thing involving personal therapy AND meat dinner for two. This thing is going right now for only $102.51. THAT IS AN AWFULLY GOOD PRICE FOR FIVE MINUTES WITH A THERAPIST, let alone five sessions. My therapist has helped me very much.
But because we all are here courtesy of Dan Savage and The Politics (band name), you will not have to admit you need help. You will simply have to admit that it has been hard out here as a Democrat. It is political therapy! No one has to know more! Not even your meat dinner companion!
After years of Republican regime-building and page-fucking, it’s finally safe to be a Democrat again. The good folks at Nathaniel Swift’s Political Novelties & Oddities have put together a kit to celebrate the Democratic majority’s Obama-led victory. There’s an Obama Superhero T-shirt, antibrainwashing serum, goggles that help you spot bullshit, and a signed photograph of political supergenius Nathaniel Swift himself. You can wear all your paraphernalia to Union Therapy, where you’ll have five 50-minute therapy sessions to help you learn how to trust your government again. After you’re cured, you can head over to Smith, for a celebratory dinner for two and a pair of authentic Smith T-shirts.
There is yet another something I would like you to buy. I would like you to buy the labor that will clean up your neighborhood park. These laborers are known to cause crushes.
The dozen strapping boys and girls of The Stranger’s distribution team will grunt and sweat for four hours in the park of your choice, volunteering for the Green Seattle Partnership. The GSP is dedicated to restoring 2,500 acres of forested parkland by planting trees, maintaining trails, pulling invasive plants, and other good works to keep our city forests green. (See a list of ongoing projects at http://greenseattle.org/our-parks.) The money you bid helps the children; the prize helps our city parks. You’re a two-way do-gooder!
I also come to remind you that in January you must not use grocery bags lest you intend to be bankrupted. Ergo, our $20 tote bag THAT WE ARE SELLING FOR CHARITY! FOR FOSTER CHILDREN!:

ABC News reports on the "latest teen mutilation fad: self embedding":
Some doctors are alarmed by what they see as a growing trend by adolescents to mutilate their bodies through "self embedding" — inserting shards of wood, glass, or paper clips under their skin.Other medical experts, however, claim the embedding of needles and other objects in the skin is not a new syndrome, but is part of a growing problem of self injury that is gaining attention.
The grisly debate began last week after a report at the annual Radiological Society of North America conference described "self embedding syndrome" as a new development. The report cited 10 teens in Ohio who had slipped a sharp object into their skin.
"I was just sitting in class. I was kind of getting the urge to cut, but knew I couldn't leave class right then," Allie W., 16, told ABCNews.com in an e-mail interview. Allie, who is not one of the 10 Ohio teens in the Radiological Society report, asked her full last name not be published for privacy issues.
"I had a safety pin in my purse and sometimes I scratch with that or something similar...like cutting, just less messy and less noticeable," she said. "So I was going to do that, but for some reason I decided to slide it under my skin."
Read the whole thing here. (And while you're there, check out the report on childbirth's "best kept secret"—orgasms during labor!)
Publisher's Weekly has chosen Amazon's Jeff Bezos as its person of the year.
It's a gigantic, sloppy blowjob of a piece:
Jeff Bezos has been stirring things up in the book business ever since he launched Amazon.com 14 years ago, and this past year has been no exception. During the year, Amazon acquired Audible and AbeBooks, expanded BookSurge, saw sales of the Kindle (and Kindle titles) soar and managed to keep book sales growing at double-digit rates. In a marketplace undergoing tremendous transformation, Amazon is a leader in nearly every aspect. For being the driving force behind one of the industry’s most dynamic, if sometimes controversial, companies, Bezos is PW’s 2008 Person of the Year.Pushing into new areas is a core mission for Amazon. “We view ourselves as explorers,” Bezos says in an interview at Amazon’s Seattle headquarters. “It’s much more interesting looking at unexplored terrain” and, because of the Internet, “there is boundless unexplored terrain.” Bezos’s vision that people would be willing to buy books online prompted him to start Amazon and reflects his philosophy of taking a long-term view in all business matters. That strategy has sometimes drawn criticism from Wall Street, but, Bezos says, to succeed in new businesses you have to be willing to experiment and to accept possible failure.
Just earlier this year, I wrote about the publishing industry's tendency to worship at the altar of Bezos. He deigned to appear at Book Expo America for the first time in almost a decade, and received a hero's welcome:
Bezos gives a PowerPoint presentation about Amazon's e-reader, Kindle, that amounts to a 20-minute infomercial. The reception that he gets from the standing-room-only mob is...awestruck, uncritical, deferential. Chris Anderson, who is the executive editor of Wired magazine, lobs softball questions at Bezos. Does he really plan to have every single book ever published available on the Kindle? Bezos chuckles and says that he does. Anderson asks if Bezos wants to project how many books would be on Kindle at this time next year. Bezos declines to give numbers. Anderson asks Bezos how it feels to have "started a revolution in books." I don't hear the answer to that question over the thunderous sound of my own eyes rolling back into my skull. The two lovebirds seemed ready at any moment to burst into song about Kindle's mammoth importance in human history.