Thursday, December 4, 2008
News Don't You Hate It When...
Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Dec 4, 2008 at 8:50 AM
...you reach for the lube or the condoms or the handcuffs—you know, whatever—on the night stand and you accidentally grab your gun, which accidentally goes off, and accidentally critically injures your sex partner? Wait, that's never happened to you?
It doesn't sound like it happened to this guy either:
Timothy Havens, 38, told Springfield police he was reaching for something on the nightstand when the pistol went off, hitting his estranged wife Carolyn in the upper chest....
This is isn't the first time there's been trouble for the Havens. Court documents showed Timothy served 60 days in jail for assaulting his wife and was ordered to go to anger management classes. His arrest Tuesday for the weekend shooting was for violating a civil protection order that Carolyn had taken out against him earlier this year.
This isn't the first time there's been "trouble for the Havens"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? There's been a lot of trouble for Carolyn Haven, and Timothy Haven is the cause of all her troubles. The "Havens" weren't assaulted, the "Havens" didn't get ordered to take an anger management class; the "Havens" didn't take out a civil protection order together. Timothy Haven assaulted Carolyn Haven, Timothy Haven violated a protection order, and Timothy Haven shot Carolyn Haven. Timothy Haven is the source of Carolyn Haven's troubles—and gunshot wounds. Christ.
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3
@2 omg lmao. thats amazing.
god, we need more effective anger management and more stringent domestic dispute laws.
god, we need more effective anger management and more stringent domestic dispute laws.
6
He didn't spend time in jail, sentence was suspended, and he assaulted her son, not her.
http://www.urbanacitizen.com/main.asp?Se…
Just sayin.
http://www.urbanacitizen.com/main.asp?Se…
Just sayin.
9
And I thought electrical play was dangerous. From 6's link:
'Havens explained to the dispatcher that he attempted to throw the gun off the side of the bed when it discharged a round into Mrs. Havens' chest.'
And I thought electrical play was dangerous. From 6's link:
'Havens explained to the dispatcher that he attempted to throw the gun off the side of the bed when it discharged a round into Mrs. Havens' chest.'
10
"You see, officer... She asked for a drink of water, and I reached for my pistol-shaped novelty coffee mug*, or maybe it was my pistol-shaped novelty sex toy, but instead I accidentally...yeah, oops."
* http://www.craphound.com/images/mugnum.j…
* http://www.craphound.com/images/mugnum.j…
12
Wait, she had a civil protection order against him and the were still sleeping together? That's fucked up. I guess "No" didn't mean no in this case.
13
Um, Dan, while that "the" in front of Havens may be reflective of the subconscious implication that these are marital troubles for both of these people (which is admittedly stupid) it might also just be a typo. If dude's name is Havens, (as in the first line) then it should be just "Havens" or "the Havenses."
Of course, this just means that the author might have meant the even stupider thing: that this isn't the first time there's been trouble for Timothy Havens. To which I of course say, who gives a fuck about his "troubles," what about Carolyn?
Of course, this just means that the author might have meant the even stupider thing: that this isn't the first time there's been trouble for Timothy Havens. To which I of course say, who gives a fuck about his "troubles," what about Carolyn?
14
To be fair, it seems like Timothy Haven has had significant troubles, specifically with the legal system. Sure getting beaten by your spouse is terrible, but doing 60 days in the joint is hardly a picnic. So really, Timothy Haven has been the source of all the trouble, but the Havens as a couple have each had their own problems.
15
@6: That just proves that the Cincinnati News has some pretty crappy writers. Not only did they fuck up the facts, but they subtly insinuate that the wife is partly to blame for being shot.
And @12, you picked up on that sentiment nicely, considering how little any of us know about this couple. He assaulted her son, he went to anger management classes, they got back together. Sounds like she forgave him. You think maybe she was asking for it?
And @14, he didn't go to jail; it was a suspended sentence.
And @12, you picked up on that sentiment nicely, considering how little any of us know about this couple. He assaulted her son, he went to anger management classes, they got back together. Sounds like she forgave him. You think maybe she was asking for it?
And @14, he didn't go to jail; it was a suspended sentence.
16
There was an episode of Snapped that was a lot like this... The woman was playing a "tickling sex game" with her blindfolded husband and then "accidentally" stabbed him.
18
True, but, consider this, perhaps, Mr. Savage, if you were more concerned about abuses of DV law in inappropriate situations then the law would be stronger, as opposed to encouraging it's broader, and sometimes, inappropriate use?
My apologies if that's a bit confusing, perhaps my pen needs a lube!
My apologies if that's a bit confusing, perhaps my pen needs a lube!
19
Why was there a gun on the nightstand in the first place? Is it possible that they weren't having sex so much as Timothy was raping Carolyn at gunpoint? If she's been a DV victim for a long time, she's very likely to avoid reporting the assault. I guess it's fortunate, in a way, that the motherfucker shot her. It's kind of hard to hide a gunshot wound from the authorities.
21
Judges generally don't like it when the person taking out the protection order willingly sees the person named in the order, then cries foul when things go violent. If this woman was boinking the husband, sounds like she was also in violation.
23
This is where I make a snarky comment about the "sanctity of straight marriage" and "Thank god its protected from the queers."
Don't blink or you'll miss it.
Don't blink or you'll miss it.
24
It's very simple: abused partners go back to their abusers because their abusers stalk them, threaten them, etc., and because restraining orders and civil protections DON'T DO SHIT. Cops aren't even under any obligation to enforce them in some states, making them about as useful as they would be if victims just wrote their own in crayon.
So quit with the "it was her fault if she went back to him" shit. Fuckheads.
So quit with the "it was her fault if she went back to him" shit. Fuckheads.
27
ugh, i dunno what the DV laws are like in ohio, but in NC they're fucking depressing. as in, non-existent. which leapt to mind as the last example of really depressing shit like this i'd read.
dan, thanks for putting this stuff out there. someone has to, holy christ on a cracker.
dan, thanks for putting this stuff out there. someone has to, holy christ on a cracker.
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