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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

News Zima Is Dead

Posted by on Wed, Dec 3, 2008 at 11:23 AM

Am I the last to know?

zimabottle.jpgThis last, dainty incarnation of Zima might still be with us were it not for killjoy lawmakers in Utah and California.... MillerCoors withdrew the brand from Utah in September, after the state's legislature passed an onerous law requiring new labels that indicate a malternative's alcohol content in bold, all-caps letters. It didn't make economic sense for the brewer to print Utah-only labels.

In California, meanwhile, the state's Board of Equalization decided to tax malternatives as distilled spirits rather than beer (the dubious rationale being that such an increase would discourage alcohol abuse among cash-strapped minors). MillerCoors could have challenged the $3.10-per-gallon tax hike by submitting scientific evidence attesting to Zima's lack of liquor. But for a brand that already had one foot in the grave, that apparently seemed like more trouble than it was worth. Shortly after the regulation kicked in on Oct. 1, MillerCoors finally threw in the towel on Zima. California had been one of its largest markets.

For a brand that was selling tens of thousands of barrels per year up to the bitter end, Zima's demise has inspired surprisingly little anguish among its fans. This online petition aims to send 1 million signatures to MillerCoors headquarters; as of this writing, it's just 999,947 names short of that ambitious goal.

 

Comments (24) RSS

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1
Yes. You are.
Posted by yup on December 3, 2008 at 11:32 AM
2
well, it probably wasn't worth the time and money, but miller could have challenged the utah law under the dormant commerce clause of article one of the constitution.

god i need to get out of school.
Posted by konstantConsumer on December 3, 2008 at 11:40 AM
3
I thought Zima died about 20 years ago.
Posted by Mahtli69 on December 3, 2008 at 11:47 AM
4
No, you're the last to care.
Posted by mojo mojito on December 3, 2008 at 11:57 AM
5
Zima: It's Zomething Zhitty
Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 3, 2008 at 12:05 PM
6
just don't take away my delicious smirnoff triple black.
Posted by chops on December 3, 2008 at 12:07 PM
7
"malternative"? Seriously?
Posted by Chris on December 3, 2008 at 12:11 PM
8
Just drink Peppermint Scope. Same diff.
Posted by Andy Niable on December 3, 2008 at 12:19 PM
9
I'm zo zad.
Posted by Ziggity on December 3, 2008 at 12:22 PM
10
Stephen Colbert called it "bottled crap" on The Colbert Report last night. I am glad to say I never tried it.
Posted by elswinger on December 3, 2008 at 12:30 PM
11
Utah and California ruin everything.
Posted by J.R. Labrador on December 3, 2008 at 12:35 PM
12
Well, I'm sad. Zima was my favorite drink during my clubbing days. Kinda like downtown was my favorite place to shop.
Posted by Ayden/VA on December 3, 2008 at 12:57 PM
13
I haven't seen anyone drink that since 1994.
Posted by Dougsf on December 3, 2008 at 12:59 PM
14
that was my drink of choice as a 17 yr old. i am sad.
Posted by shami on December 3, 2008 at 1:23 PM
15
People that don't enjoy the taste of alcohol don't deserve the pleasures of being drunk.
Posted by Dougsf on December 3, 2008 at 1:32 PM
16
Matt Hickey must be heartbroken. :(
Posted by Zima was a shitty band, dude on December 3, 2008 at 1:39 PM
17
My freshman year of college, my friends and I would drop Jolly Ranchers into Zimas to "flavor" them and get furtively drunk in the dorm. I don't miss a single moment of that entire year of my life.
Posted by i feel old on December 3, 2008 at 1:40 PM
18
First Taos and now Zima. This better not happen to Sparks!
Posted by PdxRitchie on December 3, 2008 at 1:54 PM
19
What the hell is Zima?
Posted by Eric on December 3, 2008 at 2:30 PM
20
At least in my high school (10 years ago), drinking zima was mandatory for all douchebags. I imagine its image never recovered.
Posted by guy on December 3, 2008 at 5:07 PM
21
OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.


Does anyone know where I can stock up locally while it's still on shelves? I'm not kidding. I must have consumed a thousands gallons of this crisp, refreshing adult beverage when I was in my early 20s. It was my jam, man. I need one final hurrah.


Help me, SLOG! Where can I find it!?

Posted by Matt Fuckin' Hickey on December 3, 2008 at 6:31 PM
22
R.I.P. Zima, you were my first at that underage drinking party when I was 14.
Posted by Mrs Jarvie on December 3, 2008 at 6:44 PM
23
i used to steal zima's from underneath my brothers bed when he was 16 and i was 13.
as long as joose stays on the shelves, i'm good.
Posted by dana. on December 3, 2008 at 7:36 PM
24
I don't care what anyone says, that stuff was REFRESHING.
Posted by Eastside Por Vida on December 4, 2008 at 9:04 AM

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