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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

World of Commodities

Posted by on Wed, Dec 3, 2008 at 12:30 PM

At around 8 this morning, I finally came to feel at one with the Android I obtained just under a month ago.
Photo_149.jpg
I see now that this mass produced machine was made just for me. The universal has become personal. It's like having a chunk of communism in my pocket. All I want at this point is more space for more information. Once I have that, I need nothing else from this universe that matters.

Enough about my phone. Let's turn our attention to this bit of strangeness: The dark side of things might be whispering to the light side.

Is this the dark side speaking? A concatenation of puzzling results from an alphabet soup of satellites and experiments has led a growing number of astronomers and physicists to suspect that they are getting signals from a shadow universe of dark matter that makes up a quarter of creation but has eluded direct detection until now.

Maybe.

 

Comments (9) RSS

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1
Oh crap, more alien conspiracy myths. I think your phone has gone to your head. And I say this as someone who believes in paralell universes(and eleven dimensions).
Posted by Vince on December 3, 2008 at 12:53 PM
2
Congratulations Charles. Come to the next Slog Happy and we can geek out about our phones together.
Posted by NaFun on December 3, 2008 at 1:02 PM
3
"The most favored candidates for its identity come from a theory called supersymmetry, which unifies three of the four known forces of nature mathematically and posits the existence of a realm of as-yet-undiscovered particles. They would be so-called wimps — weakly interacting massive particles — which feel gravity and little else, and could drift through the Earth like wind through a screen door. Such particles left over from the Big Bang could form a shadow universe clumping together into dark clouds that then attract ordinary matter."

This gives me butterflies in my stomach and makes my heart beat faster.
Posted by kid icarus on December 3, 2008 at 1:03 PM
4
Yellow eyes staring into the distance, he murmurs "It's like having a chunk of communism in my pocket," then leans over to kiss the armrest of his chair.
He smiles. "It's not the true Saturn, but the human touch mimics the mouthfeel of sterility."
And just when you thought you couldn't hate Charles any more, the cocksucker pulls out his ostentatious phone.
Posted by Darla Greene on December 3, 2008 at 1:08 PM
5
Why did feel at one with your Android? I mean, did you get it this morning or did it do something cool for you? It's your intro and apparently the reason you began writing, why not elaborate?

Posted by Non on December 3, 2008 at 1:10 PM
6
Charles, the pictures are not coming from outer space. You're accidentally pressing the shutter button while pointing at the ceiling.
Posted by Fnarf on December 3, 2008 at 1:33 PM
7
this is what you Seattle people get for giving a typewriter to an ape
Posted by I see an ape on December 3, 2008 at 1:54 PM
8
i removed iScoot this morning too. Life is better without it isn't it?

now have you tried Sky Map?
Posted by nos on December 3, 2008 at 2:25 PM
9
Why didn't you get the white one?
Posted by elswinger on December 3, 2008 at 10:27 PM

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