Monday, December 1, 2008
Celeb Tom Cruise Gives David Beckham the Creepiest Thanksgiving Present Ever
Posted by David Schmader on Mon, Dec 1, 2008 at 2:19 PM
What did you give YOUR best friend for Thanksgiving? A bottle of wine? A bong hit? A smile?
Well, Tom Cruise knew the perfect Thanksgiving present to bestow upon his best friend David Beckham—a surprise commitment ceremony!
From Macquarie National News, the Macquarie Nation's most trustworthy news source:
Tom Cruise is to merge his family with Victoria and David Beckham’s in a special ceremony. The ‘Valkyrie’ actor will hold the bizarre service—during which the families vow to be brothers and sisters and exchange heartfelt speeches—at his wife Katie Holmes’ New York town house. The gesture serves as a Thanksgiving present from Tom - who has two adopted teenage children, Isabella and Connor, with ex-wife Nicole Kidman and a two-year-old daughter, Suri, with Katie - to the showbiz couple. A source said: “Tom and David have been friends for years and they and their families spend a lot of time together. “This year Tom wanted to make a special gesture that would show how much he appreciates their friendship and he thought this would be the perfect way.” Tom, 46, is also building a replica of the LA Lakers’ Staples Centre basketball court in the Beckhams’ garden for the soccer ace and his sons.
For Christmas, Tom Cruise will be giving David Beckham a sponge bath.
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3
I sure would like to "merge" with David Beckham's "family," too!
Sorry, that totally didn't work out the way I was hoping....
Sorry, that totally didn't work out the way I was hoping....
4
Beckham will emerge as the clear winner of this arrangement once they start wife-swapping. Katie Holmes is eminently fuckable, but Posh Spice looks like a goddamned alien.
8
Cruise doesn't seem like a sex-having kind of guy, gay or straight. I think he just wants to watch Posh and Becks do his wife while he folds origami or something.
10
A Thanksgiving present to two people who are not American citizens. What a genius this guy is. I hope he doesn't have any Jewish friends.
11
The trick is to stop returning his phone calls right after you've gotten the What Would Xenu Do wristband as a gift.
12
So, Tom Cruise wants people to NOT think he's crazy so they'll go see his Nazi movie, then he announces this absurdity? He needs better handlers. Or, ANY handlers.
13
Before I started reading I thought he maybe gave Becks a cake in the shape of Tom Cruise's vagina.
19
That last line of your post is going to get the pants sued off of you, don't you know!?
Here come the Scientologist lawyers now!
Here come the Scientologist lawyers now!
21
I consider David Beckham a person with a social conscience. I hope he encourages Crazy Cruise to build basketball courts/soccer courts in southcentral LA.
23
Would Tom refer to Becks as his husband? Would he also have two wives? Sounds like gay marriage meets polygamy--I'd like to show this to a Mormon and watch his head explode.
24
The phrase "surprise commitment ceremony" might be the creepiest thing ever. (It ranks right up there with "nice hips.")
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