Had a great Thanksgiving...

Is this funny—because she's in on the joke? Or is it just sad—because she's playing Stepin Fatchit?

Rumor had it that Riz Rollins was making ribs for Thanksgiving. (Here is a beautiful article he wrote about spring and his grandmother and cake—"'Time's once was when I was a girl,' my grandmother reminisces, 'cake-baking was all the extra fun we could have. Nowadays with radio and TV and movies and all the things that young peoples find time to go out and do, I still like to bake a cake.'") Rumor untrue—here is what Riz is up to.

what was supposed to happen was.. we got 15 folks coming over for dinner and we always cook two meats.. one is the turkey and the other is..well whatever guest meat we decide on..last year it was lamb, the year before it was boar.. i think we've had duck.. some body once brought some andouille sausage, made with alligator..or something like that..

this year- since i did the turkey last year- i was gonna make a simple crown rib roast of beef.. see how the rumors just fly off the handle.. a crown rib roast of beef .. just like the one pictured on the october cover of gourmet magazine.. pepper crusted , simple , elegant.. definite wow factor..

except.. i'm wondering whether this oven's big enough for the bird. but it's definitely not gonna fit the two in.. so i had to scratch the crown roast.. and i was disappointed about this.. in favor of something else.. well that something else was gonna be a herb crusted roast tenderloin of beef (october issue of saveur.. because i love some food porn.. so i gets saveur , gourmet, and sometimes gastronomica and sometimes cook's illustrated - which i don't get for the pictures and sometimes bon appetit..) ..

anydangways

so yesterday i goes over to 'whole paycheck' to get the tenderloin.. i was gonna got to pike's market, but i need some peppercorn and some flaky yeast and sour cream and horseradish root and i wasn't doing pike place market all damn day i needs to one stop shop..plus they ain't got no mustard greens or turnips greens at pike market.. .. so i gets to 'whole paycheck' to gets my tenderloin and the mickeyfickey is going for $27.99 A FRICKIN POUND !! for 15 peoples..and like ..who am i oprah ? or somedamnbody ?.. and , no i'm not thank you very much.. so i'm standing there and i'm gettin feverish because like my whole plan has done unraveled before my frickin mind.. and the butcher ( .. 'whole paycheck do have some cute butchers. but at 27.99 a lb.. it'd be cheaper if i just got me a hooker on aurora..) is axin me what i want.. and i point to that $7.99 a pound leg of lamb and that's what i got..

so we having some kind of lamb recipe.. prolly the same herb encrusted business ..but fresh horseradish sauce..

oh and i'm making a split pea soup with fennel and finished with scallops seared with sherry.. this is a riz original outta my head recipe.. and i'm dreaming it's gonna work.. i got a sage cornbread dressing which is gonna go with whatever lamb thing i think up and i'm making a mock gumbo.. also outta my own head.. but i'm taking some mustard and turnip greens and cooking them with some andouille sausage and steaming them with a whole crab right at the end..

because this negro can cook..

Yeah, yeah. We know. WE KNOW. Is that what you woke me up to tell me? Stupid asshole monkey.

If you're about to make an apple pie and your recipe calls for putting butter in the crust—stop! There are better recipes out there. If you're not doing anything today, the big grocery stores are still open. Make an apple pie.