Move over, Android, Canadian upstart Pomegranate comes out of nowhere (well, Canada) to take over the smartphone market forever.
Ballet BC has laid off all its dancers, most of its administrative staff and artistic director John Alleyne because of dropping ticket sales in tough economic times.But if it can convince enough people to attend its annual presentation of the traditional Christmas crowd-pleaser, the Nutcracker, it may be able to salvage its 2009 season and hire back the 38 people who have been laid off.
Traditionally, performances of the Nutcracker generate enough cash to keep Ballet BC going for the rest of the year. But even ticket sales for the Christmas favourite have been way below projections. Only 2,000 tickets have been sold compared to 5,000 by this time last year.
Besides, um, everything.
Boys caught snickering at bathroom graffitiSeveral students were questioned after Baker School officials discovered pictures of breasts and a penis on the wall of the 5th grade bathroom, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office incident report.
One boy told the principal that several students were in the bathroom laughing at a drawing on the wall. One of the boys gave him a marker and he drew a picture of a woman's breasts. He said he went back into the bathroom the next day and drew another picture of breasts, according to the report.
Someone had also drawn a picture of a penis on the wall, which caused students to laugh, the report said.
Perhaps graffiti is a crime, but since when is snickering is a crime? And some boys were caught giggling in a bathroom and the police were called in? Good God.

This shouldn't bother me—I mean, he's just a politician, right? And people appropriate, tweak, and repurpose political and religious imagery all the time. But it's too soon, right? Or not—I mean, it certainly caught my eye; I almost fell off my bike. And here it is on Slog. So... effective banners, now gone viral.
Anyway, right now everything is 20% off at the City Home Store. President-elect Obama is doing all he can to save the economy—now you do your part. Go buy a couch.
Re: good mindless entertainment and Vince Vaughn (no, not sexy; funny, yes): Be reminded of the existence of the movie Old School, in which three 30-something guys completely regress and start a fraternity; highjinks ensue; and no lessons are learned. Here, they collect their pledges (with subtitles in an unknown language—thank you, Old School fan in foreign land!).
Superior mindlessness!
In the film section this week, we've got two lovely reviews of Milk, the Harvey Milk biopic that opens today. They're both great, and you should read them both here.

David Schmader takes on Milk the film:
As always, major props must go to Milk the man, the gay late bloomer who became a political force, and whose life story is packed with enough gay drama, political intrigue, and true crime to fuel one of Milk's beloved operas. As for the living artists behind Milk, they deserve props of their own. Working in his straightforward Hollywood mode, director Van Sant gets the job done and stays in the background, his presence felt most strongly in the film's comfortably unabashed sexuality. (There's tongue in the first five minutes.) But the lion's share of credit for Milk's success belongs to star Sean Penn, whose devotion to the film helped secure its production, and whose performance in the title role is a major accomplishment: quietly amazing, simultaneously lived-in and spontaneous, his best ever.
Eli Sanders takes on Milk the sobering-lesson-for-modern-gay-rights-activists:
There will no doubt be a certain pride at feeling that Milk's legacy of in-the-streets activism is alive and well. But, if the facts are considered, beneath that pride will be a certain amount of disappointment. Disappointment that we're still having this insane debate so many years after Milk, with his trademark humor and fury, called it insane in the streets of the Castro. And disappointment that in 2008, gay Californians were not able to beat back an antigay statewide proposition in the same way that Milk, as the film reminds us, beat back the antigay Proposition 6 in California in 1978.The cold fact is that gay-rights advocates, for all their outrage and action after Prop 8 passed, were not able to successfully implement the simple lessons of the Milk-led victory over Prop 6: Talk to your opponents, win over as many of them as you can on the merits of your argument, and, because you'll never win them all over, do everything in your power to expand your urban base and drive your core supporters to the polls.
Two weeks ago somebody destroyed the back windshield of my car.

It was parked next to a dumpster, and some jerk decided to grab a thick, ugly, pineapple-shaped glass trash vase and use it for some smashing. I couldn’t even really get mad about it. It was one of those random acts of vandalism and I was the evening’s karmic toilet. There must have been twenty other cars parked around mine, and I got the short stick. C'est la vie. But then I started wondering if maybe my car was targeted because of the Obama bumper sticker still affixed on the back. Maybe some drunk, racist asshole walked by my car, saw I was still rubbing his nose in defeat, and decided to wreck my stuff. It’s possible, but it seems so unlikely. Nobody’s going to get their windshield smashed, on Capitol Hill of all places, for having an Obama sticker on their car. Right?
I came out to my car yesterday to find this:

Well shit. I guess this means my car is a target. Granted, this act of vandalism is minor and easily remedied, but it proves that my Obama bumper sticker has marked my car for intolerant acts. There’s still no way to know if my windshield got smashed because of it, but the probability just went way up. So does this mean I have to take my Obama sticker off my car in order to feel safe again? I can’t afford wasting hundreds more on another stupid repair - I’m the working poor. But I’m also not quite done reveling from November 4th yet. And even if I was, I want to take the sticker off when I’m ready, not because I’m worried it’s going to lead to more smashing. I don’t want to be a defeatist coward, but I’m so poor. Sigh.
"It is a curious thing that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste." — Evelyn Waugh
If you've ever opened an issue of Watchtower—that magazine handed out by Jehovah's Witnesses—you've seen the illustrated post-rapture scenes of bounty. A typical drawing features people returning from the orchards with baskets of apples, a child reclining on a docile lion, and a man leading a cow to slaughter. Always predators, children, apples, cow.
But if Hare Krishnas published Watchtower, the scenes of afterlife bounty, considering their vegetarian ways, would be free of predators and prey. They would look depict scenes more like photographer Carl Warner's carefully crafted vegetarian foodscape:

However, if there's a pescatarian religion—is there a fish religion?—the followers would enjoy an afterlife on the salmon seas:

Man, that's gross. And sorry, no turkeyscapes today.
The City Neighborhood Council (CNC) has voted down a request by the South East Neighborhood District Council (SENDC) for a seat at the CNC table.
What the hell does that mean? Well, the SENDC—made up of groups like the Mount Baker Community Club and Othello Neighborhood Association—broke off from the South East District Council (SEDC)—which is a member of of the CNC—in July after several years of heated debates between neighborhood groups in Southeast Seattle over the leadership and membership of the SEDC. Things got so bad, that police were actually called to several SEDC meetings to deal with shouting matches and threats of violence.
Members of the SENDC have claimed that the SEDC's leadership is in league with the city in a grand scheme to destroy the south end, and has been seeking representation at the CNC. SEDC members have countered that SENDC members are crazy racists.
In September, the SENDC applied for an at-large position on the CNC, and on November 24th the council voted to deny the request. Instead, the CNC has asked the SEDC and SENDC open discussions and resolve their dispute. Members of the SENDC have stated that if they were denied membership, they would go "up the chain of state agencies" and take the dispute to the state attorney general's office. Exciting stuff!
In other scintillating City Neighborhood Council news, the CNC has voted in a new chair and Kathy Nyland—of the Greater Duwamish District Council—will replace Chris Leman as the head of the CNC this January.
NYT:
A federal jury here convicted a Missouri woman of three misdemeanor charges of computer fraud for her involvement in creating a phony account on MySpace to trick a teenager, who later committed suicide.The defendant, Lori Drew, 49, faces up to three years in prison and $300,000 in fines, according to federal sentencing guidelines. The jury rejected felony charges against Ms. Drew, and was deadlocked on a conspiracy count. Judge George Wu declared a mistrial on that charge.
How many of you are there? Six? Six hundred? Whatever the case, please enjoy this money-shot clip from last night's season-closing reunion show, in which Kim tells the most amazing story about artificial hair and fake cancer ever set in a Chili's.
Thank you for the clip, Videogum.
I have been remiss in not mentioning this before now, but the Wallace Foundation is giving Seattle arts orgs a whole lot of money.
In visual art the funds are going to Seattle Art Museum.
SAM will receive $750,000 over four years to broaden and deepen participation by young adults (ages 18 to 35) in the museum. SAM will study how it can best serve young adults through research, data analysis and evaluation. Consistent, entertaining “gateway” experiences combined with engaging programs will provide opportunities for young adults to become more involved with the museum. To reach the young adult audience, SAM will build partnerships with a diverse array of organizations and explore communications strategies, including targeted emails and social networking.
Other recipients are On the Boards (for developing OtBTV, which sounds cool), SIFF Cinema, One Reel, Pacific Northwest Ballet, Seattle Opera, and EMP/SciFiMuHaFa.
I guess I have three responses.
1. Great! Yay! Thanks! Super!
2. Memo to SAM: BEGIN AND END ON THE WEB, and don't forget publicity, either. SAM's web site is insanely, insanely bad. The museum is also insanely, insanely bad about getting the word out about anything it does. These problems can be solved at the same time. Also, the museum is constantly changing what's on the walls but it's impossible to know what's come down and what's gone up by checking the web. THIS MUST CHANGE. Yesterday, for instance, I came across a great Conrad Marca-Relli in the ab-ex gallery where the Robert Motherwell used to be. I found a surprise Koons—a great big St. John the Baptist that I didn't even know SAM had—in the contemporary gallery, along with newly acquired works by Aaron Curry, Cris Brodahl, Joseph Cornell, and John Stezaker. Imagine if there were a tool where images could be projected live from places all over the world reaching people all over the world! IT HAS BEEN INVENTED. Seattle Art Museum, PLEASE USE THE WEB. You now have the funds.
3. I realize that the Wallace Foundation is not an impresario. But this is a lot of money we're talking about, and interpreted strictly, all of this money could go into the hands of arts administrators and not a cent into the hands of artists. There's no talk of new commissions at the museum, at the opera, at the cinema, or at the ballet. There's talk of "develop[ing] and market[ing] eight new three-play Social Subscription pilot programs" (to the tune of $750,000 at the Rep); of "technology infrastructure to increase accessibility to opera" ($750,000); of "develop[ing] a community outreach campaign" ($750,000 at SIFF Cinema); of "expand[ing] and enhanc[ing] youth-driven programming" ($585,000 at EMP/SciFiMuHaFa). That's all good stuff, but will these organizations really make it matter?
Seriously. Straight women—what the hell is wrong with you?

They don't keep putting Vince Vaughn in romantic comedies because he tests well with gay men. So there have to be large numbers of are women out there—straight women—who insist on telling Hollywood's market-research people that this Vaughn person does it for them, that there's something about his potato face and his beady eyes and his gone-to-paunch-high-school-sports-star body that do it for them. Otherwise they wouldn't keep putting him in these awful romantic comedies, right?
Straight women: Come to your freaking senses. Vince Vaughn is revolting.
Here's why that press image reminds you of Goya, Christopher. The arm gestures, the disaster in front, the authorities on the right.

On a day with news like today's from Mumbai, Goya is almost the only artist to turn to. Here's a great web site with images of all 80 of his cutting Caprichos. Here are some of his Disasters of War.

Come to bed with Jesus!
Those sluts over at Christian Nymphos have put together a list (titled "How Do I Know What's OK?") to help you determine whether what you are doing in bed with your husband is EVIL.
Does this sexual act include anyone other than your spouse?
"Whether the person is physically in the room as in the case of threesomes, or if they are on a television screen in the case of pornography, or even if they are mentally in your head in the case of fantasizing about having sex with someone else, we would encourage you not to include these activities in your marriage bed. Although they might seem erotic and sexy, they will be a distraction from God’s plan for your hot and spicy sex life."
Other points:
Is this sexual act something that both spouses agree they would like to try?
Is this sexual act one that God has clearly told us in Scripture is to be avoided? There are some acts which we are told in the Bible are not for us to participate in. Among the list are sex with animals, sex with someone of the same gender, and sex with someone who is married to someone else.
Does this sexual act move you towards deeper intimacy or further away?
and
Does this sexual act degrade or cause pain to my spouse?
Just goes to show, Christians don't have any fun in the sack.
In all the years I've been enjoying your column, and thats a long time, I've never run across a letter that has made me more embarassed to be a man than the one you printed from Needs Her Boundaries. OMFG, that poor woman—the last thing she needs is grief from that asshole.Lets be clear; a man who would suggest living out a rape fantasy with a woman who has been raped has self-identified as an idiot. An insensitive prick. On the off chance a rape survivor wants to explore that particular fantasy it ought to be clear to even the dimmest of us men that it should be up to her to suggest it. Otherwise it should stay firmly and permanently out of bounds.
Beyond that though, a man who would harass his "loved one" with repeated demands for this fantasy, after having been refused (and told why), has self-identified as a sick fucking bastard who should be quarantined from society before he hurts someone. Preferably after having been beaten senseless with a clue-stick.
Thank you for telling NHB to DTMFA. Is it too late to tell her to kick him in the balls on the way out the door?—Sorry About That Asshole
No it isn't, SATA, and here's hoping NHB reads your letter and takes your advice (kick him in the balls) as well as mine (DTMFA).
Coordinated terror attacks struck the heart of Mumbai, India’s commercial capital, Wednesday night, killing dozens in machine-gun and grenade assaults on at least two five-star hotels, the city’s largest commuter train station, a historic movie theater and a hospital. There were unconfirmed reports of hostages having been taken at one of the hotels.
Look at this European Pressphoto Agency image of the scene (Jen, why does this photo make a person think of Goya?):

There is still some innocence left in Miami. Representing it is Seattle artist Justin Gibbens. "The beauty of it for us," he says, "is that none of us have ever been to an art fair before, so if it's a total bust, we won't know it because we have no frame of reference."
Gibbens is one of the member artists of PUNCH Gallery. The gallery decided to rent an $8,000 booth at the Aqua Wynwood art fair during next week's Art Basel Miami Beach extravaganza. ABMB is a blue-chip fair surrounded by dozens of satellite fairs, including Aqua Wynwood (run by Seattle artists Jaq Chartier and Dirk Park). To finance the booth rental, PUNCH used all the money it had in the bank (around $4,000), and got a credit card to pay the rest. Most of the gallery's 12 artists are going; they're paying their own airfare and, unlike the ahead-of-time shipping commercial galleries do, the PUNCH artists are going to wrap up their art in their luggage and bring it on the plane.
"I think everyone is just hoping to make some connections," says Gibbens, who makes elaborate, completely charming drawings of animals (above). "We're used to not selling work, so it's not going to break our heart if we come back with everything." If that happens, though, you may soon see PUNCH bake sales or car washes.
As for the rest of the Seattle art world, even in the midst of a recession dealers say they're optimistic. "I actually think it's going to be really good," says Billy Howard of Howard House. "The opportunities are great right now, both for buyers and for dealers."
Unlike in years past, Lawrimore Project and James Harris Gallery are staying home this time. Lawrimore lost money in Miami last year, and Harris has a family conflict. But the artist-run gallery SOIL will be there, along with Howard House, PUNCH, G. Gibson Gallery, Greg Kucera Gallery, Winston Wächter Fine Art, and Platform Gallery.
"We feel like we can't not go," says Blake Haygood of Platform. "It's just one of the best places to highlight your artists. Hopefully, we'll make money too. It's certainly scary. We're cautiously optimistic."
Last year there were a record number of satellite fairs—21—and it's looking like there may be just as many this year. Flow canceled, but other franchises sprung up, including Art Asia and a fair on a yacht.
The crush of fairs was not great for business last year. Everyone seemed to agree that there was too much art. "People reached the point of snowblindness," Kucera says. "I think everybody is going with the expectation that it will be somewhat less frenzied this year." Or as Harris puts it: "There's not going to be that time of the three-minute hold."
Most dealers fly down Sunday in order to set up before the fairs open mid-week. Dirk Park, one of the Seattle artists behind Aqua Art Miami, is already there and says he expects plenty of action. "Hotel rates are still high, so that means people are still coming," he says. Last year his booth fair, Aqua Wynwood, drew complaints from people who said it was hard to find. This year, the fair is advertised in 80 banners on poles and in an 8-by-40-foot banner at the end of a road. "We learned our lesson," he jokes.
As for me, I'm staying home. But a part of me wishes I were going. To read my account of what happened when I went in 2007, click here.
He writes: "There was a bus on fire earlier in the University District near 42nd and University Way!"

What a bizarre little flame.
A follow-up to this trenchant Slog post earlier today: The outside world is insisting I bail on work early and go for a bike ride. (Shhhhhhhhh!) I want a destination—mountains, trees, something beautiful—and a nice ride along the way. The starting point is the corner of 11th and Pine. I am sick of riding to Fremont and sitting under the Aurora Bridge. I am sick of riding to Golden Gardens. I am not really in the mood to ride around Mercer Island. What else is there? Is there a destination on the Burke Gilman trail past Sandpoint I should know about? (Kenmore? I have only ever run out of daylight before getting to Kenmore. Is it... nice?) Surely there is some website where I can look at maps of bike routes in Seattle that tell me something about what the route is like—unlike, say, this one. That map is not helpful. Neither are these.
I realize this is no one else's problem—commence with the "This is news?!!" and "Slow news day on Slog!" and etc., etc.—but I know some of you know where to go on a day like this.
The New York Post's Page Six is reporting that career blowhard and right-wing attack dog Ann Coulter has broken her jaw. It's wired shut. Yes. Ann Coulter's jaw is wired shut. She can't say stuff like this...
... at least for a while. Blogs and such are buzzing—speculating on how she broke her jaw—but I derive the most schadenfreude at Right Pundits, which is lamenting the tragedy:
Coulter’s enemies think that’s hilarious. While I have been roaming around the internet trying to find out HOW she broke her jaw, I’ve been treated to a potpourri of snide and joyously clever comments about Ann Coulter’s jaw and how breaking her jaw is the only way to shut her up.We all know that Coulter jumps the shark occasionally, but that’s what she does.
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!