Hey, Dan: The Times and P-I aren't the only papers protecting the children (and their easily offended readers) by avoiding any use of mild profanity. In a story about how credit card companies are marketing their cards to customers, the Gray Lady paraphrased a quote by Def Jam Founder Russell Simmons as follows: "[Def Jam founder Russell] Simmons gave his pitch a bit more zing by suggesting (in terms that can only be paraphrased here) that the card has aphrodisiac properties. The point he was making, however earthily, was that plastic and status are intertwined in contemporary America.
Earthily! "Aphrodisiac effects"! What, in the name of the sweet baby Jesus, did Simmons say? "Use my card, and you'll get shitloads of pussy"? "This card will make the bitches want to fuck you all night long"? "You'll get any piece of ass you want if you sign up now?"
No—actually, what he said was that his card will "get people laid, get them feeling dignity."
The best part—the quote the Times was torturously paraphrasing came from ... The Economist.
Getting laid and dignity—OK for "earthy" black men, not OK for readers of the New York Times.
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