Slog
News & ArtsMonday, November 24, 2008
At Large Yes, You Too
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Nov 24, 2008 at 6:50 AM
Yes, you have to take off your shoes too—just like everyone else. Yes, you have to take off your jacket too—just like everyone else. Yes, you have to send your keys and cellphone through the x-ray machine—just like everyone else. Yes, you have to remove your belt—just like everyone else. Yes, you have to take your laptop out of your bag—just like everyone else. Christ.
4
I put shoes on my 8 month old son to see if TSA would make him take his shoes off to go through security. Yes, they did.
5
Ha! I never have to remove my belt, or my jacket. The airports you travel through must be stricter.
6
It's all an exercise in silliness, if you ask me. Making everyone take off their shoes is not going to stop a terrorist attack, and I doubt it will deter one much. In fact, I know more than one person that makes a game of thinking of some new way to sneak something deadly past security every time they fly. The only way to be absolutely sure that noone is going to try to injure their fellow passengers is by having all the passengers be naked, unconscious, and paralyzed. All the current security measures do are mollify the guillable and annoy everyone else.
8
One of these days a terrorist is going to realise that there's as many people clustered together at the security line as there would be on a plane, and just detonate his shoe/backpack bomb right there and kill a few hundred people. There'll be the bonus of converting the airport into a major crime scene for months, totally choking its capacity to act as an airport.
These security checks are designed to protect the airlines who don't want to lose one of their planes in the air. Big insurance liablity, plus all the attendant lawsuits from victims families. This way, the TSA and the Port of Seattle (or whoever's running the airport) takes the bulk of the legal and financial exposure.
These security checks are designed to protect the airlines who don't want to lose one of their planes in the air. Big insurance liablity, plus all the attendant lawsuits from victims families. This way, the TSA and the Port of Seattle (or whoever's running the airport) takes the bulk of the legal and financial exposure.
10
So you're telling me that someone could mix 8 ounces of shampoo with 5 ounces of toothpaste to make a bomb, and where do they get tossed at the airport? In the same fucking garbage can to get mixed with all the other potentially explosive sundries. The genius is staggering.
11
Hrmph! You should try being on one of those watchllists like me.
Just one step short of a strip search whenever I fly.
Just one step short of a strip search whenever I fly.
12
I thought if you were using one of those newer laptop bags made for security screenings then you didn't have to take it out of the bag. Is that not true?
13
Well, since using planes as flying mega bombs, what would you expect? I sympathize, but planes made me nervous before 9/11. Now with a teetering economy the last thing we need is
another attack. Buck up bucko!
another attack. Buck up bucko!
14
Fuck you Dan, you elite prick. Once again, Dan does a great job of showing himself to be a whiny, self-centered, asshole.
Seriously, does Dan really think people are interested in his missves from the airport as part of his non-carbon-neutral travelling life.
As yes, the airport security kabuki dance is a joke. And yes, people who don't travel much are a pain in the ass for those of us who do, but seriously....blah, blah, blah....
Seriously, does Dan really think people are interested in his missves from the airport as part of his non-carbon-neutral travelling life.
As yes, the airport security kabuki dance is a joke. And yes, people who don't travel much are a pain in the ass for those of us who do, but seriously....blah, blah, blah....
15
Last time I flew I forgot I had a small pocket knife in my purse, one of those with a two inch blade and little scissors and screwdriver accessories. I wasn't surprised or upset (except at myself) when it was confiscated. Then when I arrived at my destination I realized I had my sewing scissors in my carry-on which have blades about twice as long and sharper than the knife I had to give up. I feel so safe!
16
@6: "All the current security measures do are mollify the guillable..."
TOTALLY! That and to prep us/acclimate us to stricter and more intrusive measures.
TOTALLY! That and to prep us/acclimate us to stricter and more intrusive measures.
17
Hey Good Grief, why don't you get your own blog that all of us will read after becoming an insanely popular (or hated, whatever) columnist, and post something you think is pertinent and then we all will comment and complain about your stupid post. Or, do like I did with most of Charles' posts and just ignore them if you find the first sentence not to your liking. It's easy. No one is forcing you. You make it sound like Slog is running your life. If it is, you are WAY sadder than you need to be.
18
@15 Twice I've arrived at my destination to realize that I left my pepper spray in my handbag. Twice. Both times leaving through SeaTac.
19
If you want to know just how fucked up and stupid the bullshit at the airport is, read Jeffrey Goldberg in the Atlantic: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200811/ai…
Vince, you don't want to die in a plane bomb? Then maybe you could tell us why you feel comfortable when numerous unscreened persons are allowed access to every nook and cranny on a plane every time it flies -- cleaners, etc.
Vince, you don't want to die in a plane bomb? Then maybe you could tell us why you feel comfortable when numerous unscreened persons are allowed access to every nook and cranny on a plane every time it flies -- cleaners, etc.
20
And yet, the one time nudiests chartered a plane, they had to disrobe on the plane and re-dress before exiting. Wouldn't it make more sense, security-wise, to disrobe beforehand and check everything. Passengers willing to do that should get discounted tickets or extra frequent flier miles for doing their part to speed up airport security.
21
I got a bitchy look by a female tsa person when I left my powerbook on top of its sleeve in a bin @ Orlando Airport (just wanted some bump protection). She quickly plopped my computer in a separate bin. God, she could've said something and I would have understood. Instead, she was a jerk. Probably had a bad day at work though.
22
The real problem now is that you have to stand in some major long lines which are easy pickings for someone who might have a bomb. No need now to have to secretly evade those metal detectors.
23
@14:
Hey, speaking of arrogant pricks, what in Dan's post makes you think HE'S the one kvetching about having to do these things?
Any reasonably intelligent person reading this would come to the conclusion these are things he heard OTHER PEOPLE saying in the security line(s), hence his repeated use of the word "YOU" (as in "YOU over there, yes you have to do all these things too, just like ME - and EVERYONE ELSE!").
But then, as I said, only a reasonably intelligent person would make that connection...
Hey, speaking of arrogant pricks, what in Dan's post makes you think HE'S the one kvetching about having to do these things?
Any reasonably intelligent person reading this would come to the conclusion these are things he heard OTHER PEOPLE saying in the security line(s), hence his repeated use of the word "YOU" (as in "YOU over there, yes you have to do all these things too, just like ME - and EVERYONE ELSE!").
But then, as I said, only a reasonably intelligent person would make that connection...
24
Did they make you dismount your high horse before going through security? And I certainly hope that nobody actually tries to (gasp) talk to you on the plane.
25
@14 Elite? He's being "elite"? By talking about, um, how everyone has to do the same things?
And hell, you were interested enough to respond. In a whiny, self-centered way, come to think of it...
And hell, you were interested enough to respond. In a whiny, self-centered way, come to think of it...
28
He is clearly talking about the douchebags and whores that apparently do not know how to go through security... Those people do not deseve to be making everyones travel experience horrible...
29
@ 8 and 22 totally capture what I thought last time I flew. No security to get into the airport, or between the ticket counter and the security line. All a person intent on harming a bunch of folks would have to do is do something in the security line, before they even get on a plane. That said, I think any terrorist worth their salt is likely not planning anything related to airplanes anymore. I don't necessarily take that as evidence of these security checks working, but more the assumptions that effective terrorists (whatever their motives, state of mind, etc.) are logical planners, meaning they want to strike where people aren't expecting.
31
Not sure if they've started this new program at Sea-Tac, but at LAX they're trying to sort people out at the security screening based on travelers' own knowledge of their particular traveling experience/situation. They have one line for 'Expert Travelers,' one line for 'Families' and I think there's another one, maybe for 'Semi-Clueless Travelers' or something to that effect.
Unfortunately, all the Semi-Clueless Families don't bother to read/comprehend the signage and wind up in the 'Expert Traveler' lines and it doesn't really work at all without TSA people directing traffic.
Unfortunately, all the Semi-Clueless Families don't bother to read/comprehend the signage and wind up in the 'Expert Traveler' lines and it doesn't really work at all without TSA people directing traffic.
33
I am a regular business flyer, and I think the heightened security is a joke intended to give the appearance of security without actually increasing it. Nobody's going to put anything in their shoes unless they are extremely stupid.
I occasionally forget I have a bottle of water in my laptop bag. I can remember at least four occasions where that's gotten through the x-ray without a question, and only one time where it got caught. I imagine that anyone who's actively trying to smuggle something through would just tape it inside their legs in plastic bags.
IMO there's no way to secure passengers without randomly patting down and searching a significantly higher percentage of travelers. I haven't had a random search in months, and possibly more than a year.
I am very paranoid of @8 and @22's points. That said, I also think that airports are now much more secured than other possible targets, and we should worry about places where there have not been attacks vs. places where there have been.
I occasionally forget I have a bottle of water in my laptop bag. I can remember at least four occasions where that's gotten through the x-ray without a question, and only one time where it got caught. I imagine that anyone who's actively trying to smuggle something through would just tape it inside their legs in plastic bags.
IMO there's no way to secure passengers without randomly patting down and searching a significantly higher percentage of travelers. I haven't had a random search in months, and possibly more than a year.
I am very paranoid of @8 and @22's points. That said, I also think that airports are now much more secured than other possible targets, and we should worry about places where there have not been attacks vs. places where there have been.
34
@21 I feel about you like Dan feels about the shoe people: "God dammit, someone just put a second thing in their laptop bin which means an x-ray holdup."
Then there's the people who pass eight signs state the liquid rules, put a highly visible liquid into their bin, and proceed argue with the TSA about how stupid the rule is when it's being seized. Love them.
Even worse is the occasional libertarian who decides to refuse to take their shoes off or submit to a bag search on grounds of "unreasonable search." Slowing the line down in order to make a political statement to some low paid TSA agent who can't do anything about it is not cool to them or to your fellow passengers.
Helpful line hints:
- coil any wires in your luggage neatly, and distribute dense electronic gear evenly so that they're easy to see in the x-ray
- put your boarding pass in your back pocket so that you don't accidentally lose it in the x-ray in a bag or your jacket and irritate the metal detector person
- unlace your shoes when you get into the security line. that makes binning them faster.
- have your plastic baggie of liquids in your hand after you unlace your shoes.
- open your laptop bag and any laptop holder so you can grab it easily the moment you get a bin
- be nice to the TSA agents. they are only doing their job and following their script and end up with people being constantly horrible to them
If you're running late and there is a mind-bogglingly huge line between the id check and the metal detector:
- announce to the ID checker (NOT the metal detector guy) that you're going to refuse to take your shoes off because you're a whiny libertarian. this gets you put in the "special security" line where you get in the air puff machine, a pat down, and your bag hand checked. this takes a while, but there's usually almost nobody in this line so it can actually be faster depending on airport layout. it will not work in most SEATAC lines (the long line is prior to the ID check), but it will work in, say, terminal 1 of LAX or the international terminal in SFO.
More...
Then there's the people who pass eight signs state the liquid rules, put a highly visible liquid into their bin, and proceed argue with the TSA about how stupid the rule is when it's being seized. Love them.
Even worse is the occasional libertarian who decides to refuse to take their shoes off or submit to a bag search on grounds of "unreasonable search." Slowing the line down in order to make a political statement to some low paid TSA agent who can't do anything about it is not cool to them or to your fellow passengers.
Helpful line hints:
- coil any wires in your luggage neatly, and distribute dense electronic gear evenly so that they're easy to see in the x-ray
- put your boarding pass in your back pocket so that you don't accidentally lose it in the x-ray in a bag or your jacket and irritate the metal detector person
- unlace your shoes when you get into the security line. that makes binning them faster.
- have your plastic baggie of liquids in your hand after you unlace your shoes.
- open your laptop bag and any laptop holder so you can grab it easily the moment you get a bin
- be nice to the TSA agents. they are only doing their job and following their script and end up with people being constantly horrible to them
If you're running late and there is a mind-bogglingly huge line between the id check and the metal detector:
- announce to the ID checker (NOT the metal detector guy) that you're going to refuse to take your shoes off because you're a whiny libertarian. this gets you put in the "special security" line where you get in the air puff machine, a pat down, and your bag hand checked. this takes a while, but there's usually almost nobody in this line so it can actually be faster depending on airport layout. it will not work in most SEATAC lines (the long line is prior to the ID check), but it will work in, say, terminal 1 of LAX or the international terminal in SFO.
35
What happens to all of the water bottles (presumably containing water) that one must discard prior to being X-rayed? Every day in every airport in the land, there must be enough water discarded to turn Darfur green. And yet I've never heard any of the greens whine about this waste.
So now you take an empty bottle to the airport and fill it with water after going through the "surrender your dignity line" as if being prepped for a new Walt Disney amusement ride; except the ride is being run by TSA Security Nazis who almost certainly were not gainfully employed before 9/11.
Ovinely yours,
So now you take an empty bottle to the airport and fill it with water after going through the "surrender your dignity line" as if being prepped for a new Walt Disney amusement ride; except the ride is being run by TSA Security Nazis who almost certainly were not gainfully employed before 9/11.
Ovinely yours,
36
good advice scott. i've never understood why it's so tough for people in these security lines, it's not like you don't know what's coming. travel light, take off you belt and shoes before you get to the bins, consolidate everything as much as possible. i've never spent more than 20 seconds at the metal detectors, it's a generally pointless and annoying dance, but it's not that hard.
37
What is the point of taking off one's belt? Think of the downside. If I have to take my belt off, my pants will fall down. Then I will trip and fall. If I hit my head on something, the TSA will have to call an ambulance.
distribute dense electronic gear evenly so that they're easy to see in the x-ray
What really causes concern to x-ray screeners is books. Whenever I pack books in my checked bag, the TSA always opens it up to take a look.
distribute dense electronic gear evenly so that they're easy to see in the x-ray
What really causes concern to x-ray screeners is books. Whenever I pack books in my checked bag, the TSA always opens it up to take a look.
38
I travel 4-6 times a year, which is not a lot, but ought to be enough to get it down. But perhaps because travel, for business or for pleasure, involves all kinds of distractions--business chat with a client, socializing with friends, yelling at children, anxiety about making the flight, or just boredom, I regularly end up discombobulated. My most common faux pas is running my boarding pass through the scanner. Also, for some reason I seem to carry more crap in my pockets than most people, and by the time I realize I need a THIRD bin, I am teetering at the mouth of the scanner, and can positively feel the disapproving vibe from behind me in line. In all other areas of modern urban existence that involve navigation, reading signs, or following directions, I have a rather nerdy pride in my competence, and am the first one--well, second, after Dan--to be impatient with clueless other people. But rare is the time I emerge at the finish end of the TSA gauntlet with my self-image of competence intact. Does anyone else experience this?
39
I never remove anything. My shoes slip off.
And I even carry a razor, blades, and various other items easily used for nefarious purposes in my backpack.
Let me just say this: TSA is a total farce and 99.999 percent a waste of time.
Which everyone knows who's a real expert on this.
And I even carry a razor, blades, and various other items easily used for nefarious purposes in my backpack.
Let me just say this: TSA is a total farce and 99.999 percent a waste of time.
Which everyone knows who's a real expert on this.
41
@38
Before I was put on a watchlist and had to go through the "super secret squirrel line" every time I flew, I used to travel a lot as a network manager for a national law firm, so I had a routine down pat.
First, I only have two bags, one for my clothes and a backpack for my laptop and misc stuff. I always shove as much as I can into my baggage, especially tools, then when I get to the airport I empty my pockets completely and shove everything into my backpack except for my boarding pass.
When I get into line I take off my shoes and walk in my socks and have my backpack unzipped with all the objects that need to go into a bin in one pouch, ready to go. It sped things up and I avoided forgetting something in the fluster of the line by prepping before-hand.
To complicate things for me now, after I had a camera stolen from my checked-in baggage, presumably during a TSA check, I now pack what I can in my carry-on backpack. This makes the process take even longer for me as they pull everything out of my backpack to inspect, turn stuff on, and swab everything, then leave me to put it all back together. So, all the prep in the world doesn't help me now, but it might help the typical traveler.
It really sucks whenever I travel with coworkers as they see what I go through and wonder what I did to get the special treatment all the time. That really gives you a confidence hit.
So, cheer up, it could be worse you know.
Before I was put on a watchlist and had to go through the "super secret squirrel line" every time I flew, I used to travel a lot as a network manager for a national law firm, so I had a routine down pat.
First, I only have two bags, one for my clothes and a backpack for my laptop and misc stuff. I always shove as much as I can into my baggage, especially tools, then when I get to the airport I empty my pockets completely and shove everything into my backpack except for my boarding pass.
When I get into line I take off my shoes and walk in my socks and have my backpack unzipped with all the objects that need to go into a bin in one pouch, ready to go. It sped things up and I avoided forgetting something in the fluster of the line by prepping before-hand.
To complicate things for me now, after I had a camera stolen from my checked-in baggage, presumably during a TSA check, I now pack what I can in my carry-on backpack. This makes the process take even longer for me as they pull everything out of my backpack to inspect, turn stuff on, and swab everything, then leave me to put it all back together. So, all the prep in the world doesn't help me now, but it might help the typical traveler.
It really sucks whenever I travel with coworkers as they see what I go through and wonder what I did to get the special treatment all the time. That really gives you a confidence hit.
So, cheer up, it could be worse you know.
42
if only i could just fly hawaiian inter-island commuter air all the time. no screening, no xray, and i was in hawaii. all they did was ask how much i weighed. a golden memory forever.
43
I fly a lot. I just got back from a three-pronged Seattle-New Orleans-L.A.-Seattle trip. Every time I feel worse for the people around me when I have to remove my shoes for their safety.
Also: Wear shoes. With socks. Not flip flops. Otherwise you're walking around barefoot exactly where thousands of people with poor hygiene also walk around.
Also: I just realized that's the first time I've ever typed the word "hygiene" in my life.
45
Sigh. The phenomenal waste of time bothers me. The stripping in public bothers me. (belt, shoes, hairclip) and it's completely pointless.
1) there's nothing I could possibly hide in my shoes that wouldn't fit in my bra. Never been patted down there.
2) I often have "contraband" by mistake. A pocketknife, a bottle of water, that sort of thing. IT gets caught, I dunno, maybe a third of the time.
3) If I were a terrorist, I'd give airplanes a pass - gotta kill yourself to take down one of those suckers. Leaving bombs in random public places (malls, highways, schools - wherever people gather) would be all too easy. Look at Israel, they have a real security problem, and they still allow pocketknives and shoes on their airplanes. And their planes haven't been touched in a very long time, now. Maybe, just maybe, they know something we don't.
1) there's nothing I could possibly hide in my shoes that wouldn't fit in my bra. Never been patted down there.
2) I often have "contraband" by mistake. A pocketknife, a bottle of water, that sort of thing. IT gets caught, I dunno, maybe a third of the time.
3) If I were a terrorist, I'd give airplanes a pass - gotta kill yourself to take down one of those suckers. Leaving bombs in random public places (malls, highways, schools - wherever people gather) would be all too easy. Look at Israel, they have a real security problem, and they still allow pocketknives and shoes on their airplanes. And their planes haven't been touched in a very long time, now. Maybe, just maybe, they know something we don't.
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