Saturday, November 22, 2008
Politics What She Said
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Nov 22, 2008 at 9:31 AM
Thanksgiving is next week, and President Bush could make it a really special holiday by resigning.Seriously. We have an economy that’s crashing and a vacuum at the top. Bush — who is currently on a trip to Peru to meet with Asian leaders who no longer care what he thinks — hasn’t got the clout, or possibly even the energy, to do anything useful. His most recent contribution to resolving the fiscal crisis was lecturing representatives of the world’s most important economies on the glories of free-market capitalism.
Putting Barack Obama in charge immediately isn’t impossible. Dick Cheney, obviously, would have to quit as well as Bush. In fact, just to be on the safe side, the vice president ought to turn in his resignation first. (We’re desperate, but not crazy.) Then House Speaker Nancy Pelosi would become president until Jan. 20. Obviously, she’d defer to her party’s incoming chief executive, and Barack Obama could begin governing.
As a bonus, the Pelosi presidency would put a woman in the White House this year after all. On the downside, a few right-wing talk-show hosts might succumb to apoplexy. That would, of course, be terrible, but I’m afraid we might have to take the risk in the name of a greater good.
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2
On the downside, a few right-wing talk-show hosts might succumb to apoplexy.
On the downside? Are you sure that's not a bonus?
On the downside? Are you sure that's not a bonus?
3
The economy has a lot more dramatic tankin' to do before January, and Obama and the rest of us need it to happen on Bush's watch, thank you very much. Don't think Obama's not fully busy laying lovely groundwork between now and then. Taking this time away from him would be stupid.
5
Here's what's gonna happen:
1. Thanksgiving. The biggest turnaround in retail sales in the last 100 years. Shoppers get cheap gas to go malling, and as Wilma and Betty said "Charge It!"
2. Recovery. By 20 January Barrack "Lucky" Obama will waltz into the most easygoing Presidency since Calvin Coolidge.
3. Iran's government will collapse and liberal democracy will blossom in the mid-East.
4. Global warming will show its true result: every place will be like California with mild winters and moderate summers, decreasing energy needs and pollution.
5. By 2012, Obama will be celebrated as a "miracle man"...for having done...absolutely nothing...but we won't care. 'Cause it's gonna be great!
1. Thanksgiving. The biggest turnaround in retail sales in the last 100 years. Shoppers get cheap gas to go malling, and as Wilma and Betty said "Charge It!"
2. Recovery. By 20 January Barrack "Lucky" Obama will waltz into the most easygoing Presidency since Calvin Coolidge.
3. Iran's government will collapse and liberal democracy will blossom in the mid-East.
4. Global warming will show its true result: every place will be like California with mild winters and moderate summers, decreasing energy needs and pollution.
5. By 2012, Obama will be celebrated as a "miracle man"...for having done...absolutely nothing...but we won't care. 'Cause it's gonna be great!
6
ooh, i wish. that man will have to be carried bodily out of the white house, because he will be holding onto the door frame with both hands. square biz.
8
yeah, #7 is right. pelosi (or byrd for that matter, the next in line) would never accept the presidency because they couldn't return to their elected positions. also, can anyone see bush quitting? i certainly can't. this idea is srsly half-baked.
9
This is a very dumb idea. Just let him become president in January just like every other president. Barack doesn't even have all of his cabinet picked out yet.
10
I was hoping that most of the folks at The Corner would have aneurysms when Obama was elected. If this is what it would take to push some of them over the edge, I'd be for it.
11
"Pelosi would have to quit the house. That is kinda a big downside for a 2 month presidency "
No problem. Plenty more spineless democrats left to take her place. Just ask Joe Lieberman about that.
No problem. Plenty more spineless democrats left to take her place. Just ask Joe Lieberman about that.
12
Considering how little has gotten done since 2006, I'm not sure Pelosi leaving the House is a bad thing.
13
I find it hard to imagine that Bush won't pull out at least one more big "fuck you" for the American people before he slinks away. The words "scorched earth policy" spring to mind.
14
What will really happen:
10 AM January 20: Bush pardons Cheney, Rumsfeld, Yoo, and the rest of his henchman. He then resigns.
11 AM January 20: Cheney sworn in as President. He pardons Bush.
Obama inaugurated. No war crimes trials for anyone.
10 AM January 20: Bush pardons Cheney, Rumsfeld, Yoo, and the rest of his henchman. He then resigns.
11 AM January 20: Cheney sworn in as President. He pardons Bush.
Obama inaugurated. No war crimes trials for anyone.
15
Well, the Speaker of the House isn't constitutionally required to be a member of the House of Representatives. In theory, Pelosi could resign as speaker, the house could elect Obama as the new speaker, and then Cheney and Bush could resign, making Obama president early.
18
@15 - I've been predicting this scenario for some time; though I have never seen documentation that W could legally pardon himself. Anyone? But Bush would never quit. because he doesn't think he's done anything wrong.
However, this would not be the first time in history that a president pardoned a turkey.
However, this would not be the first time in history that a president pardoned a turkey.
19
@5: You're still an idiot.
@6: You are correct. They're going to have to pry the White House door keys out of Monkey-Boy's cold, dead hands. Anyone who WANTS power that much doesn't need to have it.
@6: You are correct. They're going to have to pry the White House door keys out of Monkey-Boy's cold, dead hands. Anyone who WANTS power that much doesn't need to have it.
20
Most important thing missing from the two-month Pelosi Presidency scenario is the fact that if Bush resigns, Lickie Dick Cheney becomes the first vampire president until the inauguration.
My guess is that he's going to stay the course as the lamest duck in the history of either politics or waterfowl and hand over the keys competently enough that he's remarked upon like King Louis XVI:
"Nothing so became his [presidency] like the leaving of it."
My guess is that he's going to stay the course as the lamest duck in the history of either politics or waterfowl and hand over the keys competently enough that he's remarked upon like King Louis XVI:
"Nothing so became his [presidency] like the leaving of it."
22
Why on Earth would he want to resign?
He's still got two months' worth of fuckin' up the country to do!
He's still got two months' worth of fuckin' up the country to do!
24
"that man will have to be carried bodily out of the white house, because he will be holding onto the door frame with both hands."
Seriously? Do you people really believe that? Bush is a guy whose bid for the presidency was a vanity project, and all I see when I look at him now is a tired old man who wants to go home, play golf, and never have to think any more big thoughts ever again.
Seriously? Do you people really believe that? Bush is a guy whose bid for the presidency was a vanity project, and all I see when I look at him now is a tired old man who wants to go home, play golf, and never have to think any more big thoughts ever again.
26
gail must be clowning us. yes, i'm gonna go with that assumption.
otherwise, i don't know why some of you have objected to this being posted. it was funny, topical, and generated some pretty entertaining comments, bailo's included.
it's all good.
otherwise, i don't know why some of you have objected to this being posted. it was funny, topical, and generated some pretty entertaining comments, bailo's included.
it's all good.
27
Well... Yeah, Bush is a retard, and getting rid of him would be a plus. But Pelosi is useless as tits on a boar. The last thing we need is for her to actually be in charge.
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