Saturday, November 22, 2008
Hetero Today in Traditional Marriage
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Nov 22, 2008 at 9:34 AM
Today in very traditional marriage—an arranged marriage, a marriage in which the husband reserves his God-given right to discipline his wife. With, in this case, passing cars.
A 22-year-old Canton man was charged with assault with intent to commit murder Friday after allegedly pulling his wife into traffic on Haggerty Road. Authorities said the couple was joined in an arranged marriage this past July and the woman had only been in the U.S. for about a week.
Canton police said they received a 911 call around 12:30 a.m. and went to Haggerty Road south of Ford Road, where they found a man and a woman had been injured after being hit by a vehicle.... Ahmed Kalile Jaber, 22, of Canton was charged with assault with intent to commit murder, as well as assault with intent to commit great bodily harm less than murder, and domestic violence. He is in jail on a $50,000 cash bond, police said.
Canton police Sgt. Debra Newsome said the couple was married in July in Jerusalem. She said the woman told police they were living in a hotel until their apartment was ready and got into an argument. The woman said she left and that her husband followed her while the argument continued. The woman alleged her husband then pulled her into traffic.
Thanks to Slog tipper Balt-O-Matt.
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1
Um, don't you think that Obama naming tresudry sec. followed by 6.5% rise in stocks merits a bit more news?
Collins is right on but pretty useless space as GWB aint gonna resign, duh.
But Obama could step up more. STart telling us what he's going to do. HE could tell the big 3 from Detroit this, for example:
1. get irid of your old mgt, you failed.
2. fleet cafe standard will be 45 mpg WHATev.
3. I will immediately by exec. order have all your health care costs including retirees taken over by the Congressional health care plan. Under my national defense powers. The national defense requires we have an auto industry inc ase we ever need to build tanks, and it's unfair global competition for you to have to compete with other companies abroad that have socialized health care costs. And it's dumb to let the auto industry sink when we ARE going to pass a universal health plan in my first year.
4. public ownership stake, $25 billion, new $ for infrastructure will include auto companies retooling ot build trains, etc., svarious sundry details.
He has the moral power the mandate it's time for change and what is holding this back is caution and some kind of weird etiquette that says he can't take a meeting or make a public announcement cuz that will "interfere" with the GWB Bush presidency?
WTF??
The GWB presidency should be declared bankrupt but begging and whining at GWB to do it is so weak and naive and impractical (ain't gonna happen, you think??) it's typical Democratic approach based on "we are victims, we have no power."
Stop asking permission. Lead. Change. Get on with it. Use your power. Don't obey the old etiquette rules.
Shove Bush aside now, the media will love you for it, and you can do it, our president elect.
Unity AND power--
More...
Collins is right on but pretty useless space as GWB aint gonna resign, duh.
But Obama could step up more. STart telling us what he's going to do. HE could tell the big 3 from Detroit this, for example:
1. get irid of your old mgt, you failed.
2. fleet cafe standard will be 45 mpg WHATev.
3. I will immediately by exec. order have all your health care costs including retirees taken over by the Congressional health care plan. Under my national defense powers. The national defense requires we have an auto industry inc ase we ever need to build tanks, and it's unfair global competition for you to have to compete with other companies abroad that have socialized health care costs. And it's dumb to let the auto industry sink when we ARE going to pass a universal health plan in my first year.
4. public ownership stake, $25 billion, new $ for infrastructure will include auto companies retooling ot build trains, etc., svarious sundry details.
He has the moral power the mandate it's time for change and what is holding this back is caution and some kind of weird etiquette that says he can't take a meeting or make a public announcement cuz that will "interfere" with the GWB Bush presidency?
WTF??
The GWB presidency should be declared bankrupt but begging and whining at GWB to do it is so weak and naive and impractical (ain't gonna happen, you think??) it's typical Democratic approach based on "we are victims, we have no power."
Stop asking permission. Lead. Change. Get on with it. Use your power. Don't obey the old etiquette rules.
Shove Bush aside now, the media will love you for it, and you can do it, our president elect.
Unity AND power--
5
In other forms of legal marriage:
In the Anderson Cooper interview, Tony Perkins mentioned some BS about comparing the banning of same sex marriage to not being able to "marry a close blood relative". I would just like to point out that marrying first cousins, along with other kinds of cousins, is legal in the majority of our states. http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelic…
In the Anderson Cooper interview, Tony Perkins mentioned some BS about comparing the banning of same sex marriage to not being able to "marry a close blood relative". I would just like to point out that marrying first cousins, along with other kinds of cousins, is legal in the majority of our states. http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelic…
6
@4 So true. I once knew a gay couple (a little over a year) who were extremely volatile, and both were trying to be dominant. Mind you these were two little twinky boys, so the scraps were kind of adorable. Except the one time that, while drunk and maybe other things, one purposefully hit the other with his car and ran him over. The other then got up and started walking to the hospital, with broken bones.
On the other hand, I don't think that the point of this post is to say that this doesn't happen in gay marriages, but that straight marriages aren't all that they're generally purported to be.
On the other hand, I don't think that the point of this post is to say that this doesn't happen in gay marriages, but that straight marriages aren't all that they're generally purported to be.
8
Why is it not surprising that this is the result of an arranged marriage? Hey, go sleep with a stranger -- for the rest of your life.
This is the town next door to where I grew up. One of the weird things about SE Michigan is the huge Middle Eastern population -- the largest concentration outside that region. Maybe it's because Detroit so closely resembles some of the bombed out cities in that part of the world.
This is the town next door to where I grew up. One of the weird things about SE Michigan is the huge Middle Eastern population -- the largest concentration outside that region. Maybe it's because Detroit so closely resembles some of the bombed out cities in that part of the world.
9
When this couple has kids, and they get taken away by the state, Tony Perkins will work to keep them safe from gay foster parents and get them back into their home where God wants them to be.
10
@4 Totally agree.
@8 Most arranged marriages are much more thought out than what you suggest and I don't think it's fair to judge them according to western standards. Certainly, they have their problems ... but the majority of couples that I know that have had arranged marriages (and that's *several*) are completely happy and fulfilled.
While this particular case is appalling, I think the post was generally culturally insensitive and unfair. I know that a lot of the arguments about the marriage question center around claims that straight couples are worse off or better off than gay couples. But to me those points don't hold much water. To me, it's simply a matter of rights.
@8 Most arranged marriages are much more thought out than what you suggest and I don't think it's fair to judge them according to western standards. Certainly, they have their problems ... but the majority of couples that I know that have had arranged marriages (and that's *several*) are completely happy and fulfilled.
While this particular case is appalling, I think the post was generally culturally insensitive and unfair. I know that a lot of the arguments about the marriage question center around claims that straight couples are worse off or better off than gay couples. But to me those points don't hold much water. To me, it's simply a matter of rights.
11
Dan, I think you should re-name this feature, "Every Husband Needs a Wife," and feature it regularly.
17
@1: WTF are you blathering about?
@16: Arabs are hot. Unless they throw you under cars. I had a guy follow me like a sad puppy when I was younger. He was very hot and Arab, and we slept together. Once.
I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time and he didn't understand that. But he was a hottie.
@16: Arabs are hot. Unless they throw you under cars. I had a guy follow me like a sad puppy when I was younger. He was very hot and Arab, and we slept together. Once.
I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time and he didn't understand that. But he was a hottie.
18
Now, this is journalism - domestic violence, yes, it exists! Impressive work Dan Savage, I'm guessing this is going to be on everyone's short list on best investigative reporting.
19
#4, yes, domestic violence exists in ALL sorts of relationships. The difference is that this one is officially protected by the constitution.
God bless America. The land of the free.
God bless America. The land of the free.
21
Personally, I don't consider arranged marriages to be "traditional" - at least not in the culture in which I was raised.
22
This post might be counter-productive to the cause, Dan. DV is actually of higher prevalence in same-sex couples.
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