Friday, November 21, 2008
Film Re: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Nov 21 at 5:22 PM
As The Stranger's resident squealing goth, I have decided it is my duty to keep on top of Twilight reviews. There's Metacritic, of course (56: Mixed or average reviews), but there's also the conservative movie blog I linked to a few days ago.
Here is what Mr. Red State Movie Watcher has to say about the Twilight, in an e-mail to a friend he posted online:
Dude, I’ve just come out of the most subversive film since … who knows when. This isn’t a vampire flick, it’s a total piece of cinematic propaganda disguised as a vampire flick and aimed right at your children. Only — get this - it’s subversively upholds traditional values.Not only is it a high school movie set in a small town filled with likable characters of different races where race is never mentioned but the whole film is about restraint and discipline; the teenage girls aren’t sexualized, the boys are chivalrous, and the parents caring and real.
Hell, the the good family of vampires even play baseball because it’s “the American pastime,” and on a shelf in a bookstore owned by an American Indian sits Rush Limbaugh’s first book.
We know none of this stuff happens by accident and I’m still processing it.
I noticed Rush Limbaugh's book in the movie—it's not actually on a shelf in a bookstore, it's a battered mass market on a bargain spinner rack in front of a bookstore—and I would've mentioned its presence if I thought anybody else would have noticed it. I've got a pretty sharp eye for books in movies—I can usually tell what a character's reading from just the spine.
(There's one scene in Zodiac where a modern-day Baker & Taylor book distributor box is clearly shown in a basement scene, even though the rest of the movie is pretty strict in strictly representing the 1970's period. That box fucking drove me nuts, but only one other person I've talked to has ever noticed it.)
But I agree with the Republican Gene Shalit: It's a conservative movie. It's a very conservative series. Bear that in mind before you go in.
Showing 1-18 of 18
I'm so glad you reviewed it, I was waiting for the Stranger's review before I was dragged to see it in repayment for forcing a friend of mine to see Doomsday. Now I know what to expect and I think I can make it through the movie with a minimum snark quotient.
It's not just a subversive conservative series, it's a subversive LDS series. Doesn't Bella say "oh my heck" a lot, and go over to enjoy Family Home Evenings with the Cullenses?
You can figure out what book a movie character is reading just by looking at the spine? Holy shit! It's almost like you have a Fifth Sense. Genius.
It's totally conservative -- their love story is all about restraint, restraint, restraint, yet they have all this passion and can hardly keep away from each other. In the book Bella worries constantly about getting Edward too worked up, and I wonder if they are EVER GOING TO DO MORE THAN KISS. It's so aggravating, because the writing sucks you in, it's like the crack of light reading, and now I find myself scheming to find the next books without giving any of my money to the stupid Mormons. I think I need an intervention!
@6,
Can't you get them at the library? Buying them at a used bookstore would also keep the money from benefitting Mormons, assuming the bookstore isn't owned by Mormons.
@6: I got two of mine off of paperback swap, because I'm assuming it's well-nigh impossible to find used copies at used bookstores right now, and there's probably approximately eight million holds on all of the books at the moment at any local library system.
I haven't read this book, but I heard a description of the premise - Vampires choosing not to suck blood, blah blah blah - on NPR and immediately came to the conclusion (a month before I found out the author was an aggressive Mormon) that the book is a preaching on abstinence.
Restraint is conservative?
How come the conservatives couldn't restrain themselves from barging into Iraq with no plan? How come conservatives coudln't restrain themselves from record budget deficits under Reagan, under Bush, and again under Bush? How come Sarah Palin's 17 year old is pregnant and the conservatives think that's fucking hunky dory? How come they can't restrain themselves from tapping your phone? Can't restrain themselves from driving six ton SUVs and can't restrain themselves from running around with guns and can't restrain themselves from trying to run everyone else's life with their religion's rules. What do conservatives restrain themselves from?
Somebody re-explain to me what restraint is.
Also, in Interview with a Vampire, Louis chooses not to suck human blood and has rats instead. Same with those guys in Nightwatch. Pig blood, right?
I call bullshit on everything everywhere.
Mmm, Louis. Poor, tortured, whiny Louis. My teenage heart throbbed for him. I'm pretty embarrassed about it now.
Elenchos - but OTHER vampires did suck blood, and Louis eventually did drink blood. It was only in the beginning that he didn't. You LOSE!
It's actually amusing to see Republicans after eight years of Bush still claiming to be morally superior to the rest of us.
Not just conservative, not just LDS, but arguably utterly unconscious of that. Hark at this wonderful examination of it some time:
http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.…
Likable characters of different races? Based on the movie poster, it looks like all different kinds of white people.
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