Thursday, November 20, 2008
TV The Absolute Worst Moment in the History of Humankind
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Thu, Nov 20, 2008 at 1:28 PM
Let's let our imaginations run free for a moment, shall we? Let's imagine an awful, awful "what-if" scenario in which Barack Obama did NOT win the presidency on election night. Imagining it? No... you're not doing a very good job. Just imagine the absolute worst moment in the history of humankind... and then multiply it by a kajillion.
Still having trouble imagining it? Well, the following video comes close to what that horrible, horrible moment might have looked like. Behold: six teenagers discovering that David Archuleta did NOT win this year's American Idol.
There but for the grace of God, go we.
1
and this is why we need a great depression 2.
2
i'm glad i don't have kids
3
I would KILL for a video like that from any random GOP election watch party.
On a side note, both contestants on American Idol were named David?
On a side note, both contestants on American Idol were named David?
4
Hysterical, thanks for that!
Teenage emotions are wily, wild things.
"Why did they vote for the loser who doesn't shave?"
Teenage emotions are wily, wild things.
"Why did they vote for the loser who doesn't shave?"
5
Little Women.
6
That was cute.
7
If only sports fans could be that civilized.
8
That was more satisfying than watching 8 year old figure skaters cry after losing their chance at the gold...
I'm a very bad man sometimes
I'm a very bad man sometimes
9
I don't think those girls qualify as teens, and I feel bad for watching them suffer and thinking it is funny.
10
i'm pretty sure those aren't teenagers. mr humphrey, you need to spend more time looking at teenage girls.
11
When that one girl fell to her knees in tears I burst out laughing. Kids crying is almost always funny.
Also, I think I heard one of them saying something about "everybody's going to make fun of us at school".
Indeed.
Also, I think I heard one of them saying something about "everybody's going to make fun of us at school".
Indeed.
12
I think I see John Bailo peeking through the window there...
13
"I bet $50 on this! I don't even have $50!"
14
Jeez, thanks for spoiling American Idol, Humphrey! How about a spoiler warning on that post title?
15
That is SO. GREAT.
16
What the hell?
17
Wow.
Who knew American Idol was still on?
Who knew American Idol was still on?
18
Archuleta was robbed.
19
I bet they all have livejournals with blinking icons of LOLcats and start cutting their wrists the wrong way because their world just doesn't make sense anymore while listening to some James Blunt and thinking the world will be fine because it was all a dream.
Then they go up to become prostitutes and strippers with coke habits.
Then they go up to become prostitutes and strippers with coke habits.
20
I don't even have access to sound on my work computer, and that was absolutely hilarious.
21
Wow...I seriously thought that nobody actually cared about American Idol. I thought it was just a hoax or an urban legend. Thanks for setting me on the path toward enlightenment. BTW...if this is enlightenment, it's hilarious.
22
The girl who falls crying is obviously the leader. All the other girls look at her when it happens.
23
I seem to recall some Seahawks fans acting this way after their loss in the Super Bowl.
24
That would have probably been what Seattle would have looked like if McCain had won.
25
david who?
26
ha ha ha, oh wow
27
Spoiled rich white girls, reminds me alot of Gay men.
28
That was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. Is one of those girls pointing at the cryer?
29
that's how i was when W stole the elections in 2000 and especially 2004.
30
That's totally adorable. My favorite bit is how some of the girls are genuinely distraught, and the rest kind of work up their disappointment into distress upon seeing that it is expected of them from their leader.
31
THAT LOSER THAT DOESN'T SHAVE!!!
32
Someone absolutly needs to replace the audio at the beginning.
"...and the winner is... BARACK OBAMA!"
"...and the winner is... BARACK OBAMA!"
33
The scary part is I know a 48 year old woman who acted like this when he lost and still brings up that he was robbed when the subject is brought up.
34
You think thats bad, I had to bare witness to the news reaching my sisters whole Brownies troop assembled in our living room that Bobby was leaving New Edition. I simultaneously almost went deaf and gay.
35
This needs to be remixed a la NINTENDO 64!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFlcqWQVV… - in case you don't know what I'm talking about.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFlcqWQVV… - in case you don't know what I'm talking about.
36
Cute and terrifying. Oh man, I could watch this over and over again. Bless their little hearts. Now I'm off to Planned Parenthood to get my tubes tied.
37
Am I the only one who felt like that was fake? The girls kept smiling... cute, but I think they were acting.
38
Best slog post ever!
39
Thank you, Jude Fawley @37, for continuing that proud internet tradition of calling "fake" on every video that has ever been posted online.
40
um, what #1 said.
41
@35, this is nowhere nearly as great as bill cosby football
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpDnqZsCU…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpDnqZsCU…
42
I like how the older sister was laughing at them at the end when the mom was trying to comfort them.
43
This is the greatest day of my life.
There is so much academic food here at The Stranger that it beats the "relief tab" on the "Imagine a sports story you've never read symposium special debrief program in the libraries help section" ....
A possible highlight point for
"Cloning of the Bad Ideas for Questions Here" on
"How to Market Success in Politics"
and all of the people waiting for the overflow from the KOMO Problem Solvers, and the
"Steven Humphrey Fund for Protection Against Gateway Porn Watchers at the Library" is...
Will the public really hold it against the conservative tele-evangelists who avert their gaze from The Stranger Slog
(translation: they never look at the slog)
in prevention of leading the youth down the wrong garden gate to a "different" form of t.v. heaven?
I'm sure there must be some others like me out there in "Humphrey Land" who wonder what kind of "protection" the "networks" of cable broadcasters sell to large subsribers of advertising dollars and commercials on channels designed to feed the spiritually immobile, there-bye providing them with the means to send in much needed lucrative franchise donations to re-capture the futures market derivitives...
( note to my ballard guru.. thanks for the buzz word..)
In other words the people who NEVER BUY OR QUESTION about PROFESSIONAL GRADE NETWORK SATELLITE SECURITY...
( translation: the kind you can't buy as a consumer for another 2 to 5 generations )
Can you imagine a world in which Preachers on T.V. don't ride out of town with a pretty girl calling after them to come back and make her an honest woman?
JESUS would ride back to earth on a cloud right now if the greediest holographic designers weren't making "YOU" the best visualization programs with which to train your gaze to the heavens in anticipation.
More...
There is so much academic food here at The Stranger that it beats the "relief tab" on the "Imagine a sports story you've never read symposium special debrief program in the libraries help section" ....
A possible highlight point for
"Cloning of the Bad Ideas for Questions Here" on
"How to Market Success in Politics"
and all of the people waiting for the overflow from the KOMO Problem Solvers, and the
"Steven Humphrey Fund for Protection Against Gateway Porn Watchers at the Library" is...
Will the public really hold it against the conservative tele-evangelists who avert their gaze from The Stranger Slog
(translation: they never look at the slog)
in prevention of leading the youth down the wrong garden gate to a "different" form of t.v. heaven?
I'm sure there must be some others like me out there in "Humphrey Land" who wonder what kind of "protection" the "networks" of cable broadcasters sell to large subsribers of advertising dollars and commercials on channels designed to feed the spiritually immobile, there-bye providing them with the means to send in much needed lucrative franchise donations to re-capture the futures market derivitives...
( note to my ballard guru.. thanks for the buzz word..)
In other words the people who NEVER BUY OR QUESTION about PROFESSIONAL GRADE NETWORK SATELLITE SECURITY...
( translation: the kind you can't buy as a consumer for another 2 to 5 generations )
Can you imagine a world in which Preachers on T.V. don't ride out of town with a pretty girl calling after them to come back and make her an honest woman?
JESUS would ride back to earth on a cloud right now if the greediest holographic designers weren't making "YOU" the best visualization programs with which to train your gaze to the heavens in anticipation.
44
@39 Glad I could be of service. It was my first time, but it was great.
45
It is a miracle that we have survived as a species.
46
Hey, the comments have "continue reading" jumps for really long comments now! Daniel Bennett Kieneker is going to lose half his forum!
47
If they could take blood from me RIGHT NOW, they'd could isolate the serum for schadenfreude.
48
That is soooo awesome! Thank you for the laughs.
49
Yeah, great and all -- but whose idea was it to record this? Did the girls know they were being filmed? (Older sister who never turned to face the camera, I'm looking at you.) I am suddenly reminded of that moment in Drop Dead Gorgeous when the -- ahem -- "slow" guy gets his overall strap trapped in a car door. He turns to the camera crew and begs for their help, leaning there, pathetically supported by a slender thread of denim -- and the cameramen do NOTHING.
And @47: awesome. :)
And @47: awesome. :)
50
Imagine if the presidential election results were withheld until all the votes were counted, and then announced by Ryan Seacrest. You know, with some voters looking at the election as if it were American Idol ("I just really feel a connection to Sarah Palin."), maybe that's how we should do it next time.
51
This made my day. Yes, I'm that pathetic.
52
@ Julie #11
HAH thanks for pointing that out. She then lets out this pathetic little "Noohh" before dropping her head down in agony
HAH thanks for pointing that out. She then lets out this pathetic little "Noohh" before dropping her head down in agony
53
I have a friend who is a big David Cook fan who says that he is aware of this video's existence and has said he watches it sometimes when he starts to feel too full of himself. I'm not sure how that works, exactly, but make of it what you will.
54
This reminded my of some movie I saw one time and I can't remember what it is and it's driving me crazy a little bit.
I think it was some sort of teenage pageant documentary from the 70's or 80's and there's this one scene where they unveil the finalist list to the girls. The camera is mounted on the ceiling looking down and there's this great mix of despair, joy and rage as each girl figures out where she stands.
That scene was so cool...I wish I could remember where it came from - anybody know? I'll rent it and post that scene myself if I find out.
I think it was some sort of teenage pageant documentary from the 70's or 80's and there's this one scene where they unveil the finalist list to the girls. The camera is mounted on the ceiling looking down and there's this great mix of despair, joy and rage as each girl figures out where she stands.
That scene was so cool...I wish I could remember where it came from - anybody know? I'll rent it and post that scene myself if I find out.
55
The older sister looks sooooo hungry!
56
This is video birthcontrol.
57
i was going to kill myself if obama lost. i dont think these girls are that mad
58
This is the best thing I have ever seen.
59
Well if it makes the girls feel an better his cd sucks.
60
Funny? I have a new baby daughter. This shit is terrifying! After watching it eight times with renewed horror, I called Comcast and cancelled our cable.
61
@ 60, isn't this on Fox? If so you can still get it... at least until the Hi Def switchover in a few months if you don't have a hi def TV or a signal converter box for an older TV...
62
I think most of the posters here have forgotten what it's like to be in the 6th-7th grade. No doubt due to the many embarrassing things they did, wore, said, etc. For all those haters out there: thank your lucky stars your stupid pubescent antics weren't caught on video and didn't wind up on the internet.
63
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
64
to whoever set up that video camera- thanks for the laugh.... this is hysterical!
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