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News & ArtsMonday, November 17, 2008
Homo Why I'm CONVINCED These Guys Aren't Gay
Posted by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on Mon, Nov 17, 2008 at 4:30 PM
Yes, this is a "French Disco" song. Yes, the video stars the French boy band known as "Pipones." And yet, I remain unconvinced the three guys depicted in the video are gayer than Gaylord McGayerson, the grand marshal of Gay Town's annual gay pride parade. My reasons follow:
1) Gay men don't drop their trousers down to their ankles while standing at a urinal.
2) Gay men don't feign interest in women — unless they are Republicans.
3) Gay men would never lower themselves to such base, unimaginative choreography.
4) Gay men don't dress up as American tourists — even to be funny.
And yet... gay men do write the catchiest, ear buggiest songs — and this number definitely falls under that category. YOU MAKE THE CALL!
3
No gay man would EVER wear socks with sandals, even a French gay man. Also, what's with the longhair wearing a diaper on the beach?
8
To the casual observer these men are not Gay. These straight men are trying VERY VERY hard to be Gay however. They don't have the gene nor do they have the hip movements.
11
Obviously learnt everything they know about choreography from an old Jane Fonda workout video. In fact their music and fashion choices all seem to be stuck in the 80s too...
If the one with short dark hair is interested, I would be willing to initiate him in the way of gay. But he'd have to work, baby, work real hard.
If the one with short dark hair is interested, I would be willing to initiate him in the way of gay. But he'd have to work, baby, work real hard.
13
Did you cal this catchy? I don't even care if these boys are gay or not. IM more concerned how anyone one waste their time listening to this and think it had any musical value.
Catchy? Really?!
Catchy? Really?!
15
Not gay but definitely Italian. (red white Green Banner at end)
They just decided to sing in French.
My Nephew lives in the south of France in a small surfing village, wants me to come visit next year. If that represents gay men there I aint't going.
They just decided to sing in French.
My Nephew lives in the south of France in a small surfing village, wants me to come visit next year. If that represents gay men there I aint't going.
16
Elle:
There! Right There!
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.
Calahan:
I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate.
This guy's not gay, i say not gay.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically matically fay?
Emmett:
But look at his quoft and crispy locks.
Elle:
Look at his silk translucent socks.
Calahan:
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.
Elle:
What are we seeing?
Calahan:
Is he gay?
Elle:
Of course he's gay.
Calahan:
Or European?
All:
ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or european?
Warner:
Well, hey don't look at me.
Vivian:
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.
Elle:
Oh please.
All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Warner:
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
All:
Is he gay or European?
or
Eden:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro-hetro jerk.
That guy's not gay, i say no way.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume
Elle:
Is automatically-radically
Calahan:
ironically-cronically
Vivian:
scurtinly-curtainly
Warner:
genetically-netically
All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAMMIT
Gay or European?
Calahan:
So stylish and relaxed.
All:
Is he gay or European?
Calahan:
I think his chest is waxed.
Vivian:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.
All:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.
Brooke:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.
All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Judge:
But if he turns out straight I'm free at 8 on saturday.
All:
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-
Emmett:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.
Calahan:
The floor is yours.
Emmett:
So Mr. Argitacos...
This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?
Ricos:
2 years.
Emmett:
And your first name again is...?
Nicos:
Nicos.
Emmett:
And your boyfriend's name is...?
Nicos:
Carlos.
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.
I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend.
Carlos:
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay and European!
you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case.
No matter what he say.
I sware he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy in cabaret.
Nicos:
I'm straight!
Carlos:
You were not yesterday.
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's gay!
All:
And European!
Carlos:
He's gay!
All:
And European!
Carlos:
He's gay!
All:
And European and Gay!
Nicos:
Fine okay I'm gay!
All:
Hooray!
Nicos and Carlos:
Fine. Okay. We're gay!
More...
There! Right There!
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.
Calahan:
I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate.
This guy's not gay, i say not gay.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically matically fay?
Emmett:
But look at his quoft and crispy locks.
Elle:
Look at his silk translucent socks.
Calahan:
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.
Elle:
What are we seeing?
Calahan:
Is he gay?
Elle:
Of course he's gay.
Calahan:
Or European?
All:
ohhhhhh.
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or european?
Warner:
Well, hey don't look at me.
Vivian:
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.
Elle:
Oh please.
All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Warner:
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.
All:
Is he gay or European?
or
Eden:
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro-hetro jerk.
That guy's not gay, i say no way.
All:
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume
Elle:
Is automatically-radically
Calahan:
ironically-cronically
Vivian:
scurtinly-curtainly
Warner:
genetically-netically
All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
DAMMIT
Gay or European?
Calahan:
So stylish and relaxed.
All:
Is he gay or European?
Calahan:
I think his chest is waxed.
Vivian:
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.
All:
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.
Brooke:
Yet his accent is hypnotic
but his shoes are pointy toed.
All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.
Judge:
But if he turns out straight I'm free at 8 on saturday.
All:
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-
Emmett:
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.
Calahan:
The floor is yours.
Emmett:
So Mr. Argitacos...
This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?
Ricos:
2 years.
Emmett:
And your first name again is...?
Nicos:
Nicos.
Emmett:
And your boyfriend's name is...?
Nicos:
Carlos.
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.
I thought you say best friend. Carlos is my best friend.
Carlos:
You bastard!
You lying bastard!
That's it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay and European!
you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case.
No matter what he say.
I sware he never ever ever swing the other way.
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy in cabaret.
Nicos:
I'm straight!
Carlos:
You were not yesterday.
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's gay!
All:
And European!
Carlos:
He's gay!
All:
And European!
Carlos:
He's gay!
All:
And European and Gay!
Nicos:
Fine okay I'm gay!
All:
Hooray!
Nicos and Carlos:
Fine. Okay. We're gay!
18
certainly not gay. french dudes just like to feign homo-eroticism as part of their whole general dorky persona.
19
Not gay, they would have written a better song with more joie de vivre, instead of that over commercialized pap.
22
Maybe their choreography was done by BearForceOne? (Who are, after all, gay AND European.) But that doesn't excuse the - ahem - bathing costumes.
24
The arm flapping was a little gay. Don't all gay men flap their arms when they walk down the street? Hump! I love you!
26
Wow! It's the YATTA video, but in French!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=…
All that's missing are the diapers. Oh, wait, they got them, too, they're just extra skimpy diapers and they wear 'em under their shorts.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=…
All that's missing are the diapers. Oh, wait, they got them, too, they're just extra skimpy diapers and they wear 'em under their shorts.
27
2 are gay, but one is straight. Can you figure it out? NatureJockk writes and dictates the decision.
Trust me.
I know gay. Really I do.
One is straight.
Lout it is wickedly Gay and Homo and I do not think any of your readers are at all interested in all gay wit and satire .
But your guys in the video are partly gay.
Thanks.
I do love you blog
buffnatureboy@yahoo.com
Trust me.
I know gay. Really I do.
One is straight.
Lout it is wickedly Gay and Homo and I do not think any of your readers are at all interested in all gay wit and satire .
But your guys in the video are partly gay.
Thanks.
I do love you blog
buffnatureboy@yahoo.com
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