Thursday, November 13, 2008
Film Re: I Refuse to See This Movie
Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Nov 13, 2008 at 5:58 PM
In the comments to this post, where I express my disgust at the idea of a Monopoly movie, someone said this:
You know what else I thought would be god awful?A movie based on a pirate ride at Disney World.
Boy, did I ever eat my hat on that one.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on November 13, 2008 at 4:25 PM
I take your point, UNPAID COMMENTER. I enjoyed Pirates of the Caribbean quite a bit at the time of its release. However, I would gladly take back the experience of watching Pirates of the Caribbean if it meant I could forget about the existence of the godawful sequels. Even if, somehow, Monopoly manages to be a good, entertaining movie, I'm already dreading Monopoly 2: Buy Harder, directed by Tony Scott.
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7
I *loved* that ride as a kid. And the non-alcoholic mint juleps in the adjoining Blue Bayou Restaurant.
11
Was it just me or were there others who couldn't make head or tail of what the fuck was going on in the pirates movies?
12
I'm tired of people ragging on the first Pirates movie because the sequels sucked and landfills are overflowing with cheap plastic Pirate themed merch. I freely admit that I cried, yes CRIED during the first "Pirates of the Carribean" movie. Specifically when Jeffrey Rush's character gets stabbed at the end and utters the line, "I feel cold." And then dies. Think about it, this character has been searching the high seas for years looking for the one missing gold piece that will allow him to be live, to escape his watery purgatory as a ghost and to feel something again, anything. Then all of a sudden he can, and what does he feel? His own death. And Rush delivers the line with a wistfulness that's just about the most heartbreaking thing in a Disney film since Bambi's mom got iced. Did I mention I was stoned at the time? Irregardless if the producers/writers/director of "Monopoly: The Movie!" can create a moment of equal complexity in their strip-mining of pop culture I think it'll be worth it. That's a big if of course. And don't get me wrong I'm expecting total crap.
I'd be a fool if I expected to see anything less than a typically grating Robin Williams (moustachioed and monocled) playing a dying titan of industry with no will whose equally grating and obnoxious children (no doubt to be played Jessica Alba, Dane Cook, and Jaime Kennedy) must out maneuver each other in increasingly wacky and embarrassing ways to snatch up their inheritance before learning the shallowness of materialism. I also expect Smash Mouth's "All Star" to play during the trailer.
I'd be a fool if I expected to see anything less than a typically grating Robin Williams (moustachioed and monocled) playing a dying titan of industry with no will whose equally grating and obnoxious children (no doubt to be played Jessica Alba, Dane Cook, and Jaime Kennedy) must out maneuver each other in increasingly wacky and embarrassing ways to snatch up their inheritance before learning the shallowness of materialism. I also expect Smash Mouth's "All Star" to play during the trailer.
13
stuck in boston reminds me of me, fearing an inevitable reprisal of a Smash Mouth song and all.
I'm sorry, I don't believe that the Pirates sequels were all that bad. the storys were good, however exceedlingly complicated and contrived. what ruined them was how grating every character became after the first movie, and I can't think of any single actor who was exempt from it. AND the fact that I don't think Bill Nighy can act his way out of a wet, British, paper sack
I'm sorry, I don't believe that the Pirates sequels were all that bad. the storys were good, however exceedlingly complicated and contrived. what ruined them was how grating every character became after the first movie, and I can't think of any single actor who was exempt from it. AND the fact that I don't think Bill Nighy can act his way out of a wet, British, paper sack
17
we should have a contest to forecast the sequel to the first monopoly movie. my guess: Monopoly 2: Back in the Game!
20
@16, the 3rd Pirates movie, while not good, is not even the worst pirate movie ever. Ever hear of a little movie called Cutthroat Island?
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