Thursday, November 13, 2008
Film Bond: Now Less Fun!
Posted by Lindy West on Thu, Nov 13, 2008 at 11:27 AM
In the print edition this week, Jen Graves's long, funny review of Quantum of Solace (in which she calls Daniel Craig "a slightly dingy hunk whose eyes are the color of blue Otter Pops") got woefully sliced and diced for space. But thanks to the internet, you can read the extended original version here. Do it!
My favorite part:
It's a wishy-washy film, like the word "quantum" is wishy-washy. It can mean "large, significant" or "very small increments": This is not a word; it is an antiword.
Also discussed: stick-shifts, parkour, mental midgetry, the psychology of the new Bond, and "the supremacy of opera among all art forms."
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1
Yes, yes, that's all very interesting. But readers want to know how naked Craig gets this time! Does he breakout the baby blue trunks again? Is there more bondage fun? Does Bond decided to save the day naked, fresh from shower?
3
This is one of my must see films, but I've heard it doesn't have a lot of sex in it.
Unlike the sneak preview of Slumdog Millionaire (by the director of Trainspotting, a really funny guy) which was sexier.
Unlike the sneak preview of Slumdog Millionaire (by the director of Trainspotting, a really funny guy) which was sexier.
4
I think "Quantum of Solace" just barely beats out "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" and "Bangkok Dangerous" for worst movie title of the year.
9
Quantum doesn't mean large or significant at all. 'Quantum leap' does not mean 'a large leap.'
Can we get some Golob up in here?
Can we get some Golob up in here?
11
Thank you Ben. Quantum means a "discrete, small". How do you get a writing gig when you learn your words from the context clues offered by Daytime USA programming?
12
Re: quantum. Look it up.
Re: nudity, trunks, and being tied up in a chair with the wicker seat cut out of it while naked. No! This movie is far inferior compared to the Craignakedfest that is Casino Royale.
Re: dingy. I suppose I mean that to me his face makes him look like the victim of a semi-recent bar fight. He could never be mistaken for a member of the upper class.
Re: nudity, trunks, and being tied up in a chair with the wicker seat cut out of it while naked. No! This movie is far inferior compared to the Craignakedfest that is Casino Royale.
Re: dingy. I suppose I mean that to me his face makes him look like the victim of a semi-recent bar fight. He could never be mistaken for a member of the upper class.
13
Merriam-Webster is the one claiming quantum means "large, significant." The OED doesn't make this error, nor does anyone else I can locate.
A quantum change (adj.) can be significant, in that the word means a discrete amount, so it can mean just enough to matter, which is what significant is. But large? That makes no sense, and of course M-W doesn't offer any examples of anyone using the word to mean "large."
It is an excellent word, Jen Graves. The real problem is relying on that freebie online dictionary. You know you can log into the OED online with an SPL account, right?
A quantum change (adj.) can be significant, in that the word means a discrete amount, so it can mean just enough to matter, which is what significant is. But large? That makes no sense, and of course M-W doesn't offer any examples of anyone using the word to mean "large."
It is an excellent word, Jen Graves. The real problem is relying on that freebie online dictionary. You know you can log into the OED online with an SPL account, right?
14
EON Productions passing over Christian Bale as the new James Bond in favor of Daniel Craig: FAIL.
16
Re: freebie online dictionaries and something called Daytime USA programming. Watch it, folks. I used my real-life home dictionary to look up "quantum" when I was writing this weekend. When I go home I'll get my dictionary (I think it's Merriam-Webster's), type in the entire entry that confounded me, and you can take that opportunity to chew me out anew!
17
Seriously, put down the invisible luggage, Bond. His neck starts above his ears. This is gross. Like he has a bad case of the gout, or upper body edema.
18
As 'quantum' is used as a stand-alone noun in the title (not as a qualifier, as in 'quantum leap'), I think it's just a pretentious synonym for 'amount'. The 'quantum of damages' in law just means how much the other guy has to pay for doin' ya wrong...
20
I think it's time to take Bond in a completely new direction. Daniel Craig is just like the residue of boiled-down Connery or that Moonlighting dude -- the same, only less. What they need is Carrot Top.
That's no stupider than anything else. Bond is an expression of 50s-60s paranoia and techological optimism -- the Populuxe superhero. He hasn't been remotely relevant or interesting since about 1971.
That's no stupider than anything else. Bond is an expression of 50s-60s paranoia and techological optimism -- the Populuxe superhero. He hasn't been remotely relevant or interesting since about 1971.
21
Jen,
Quantum simply means a fixed amount, without indicating how large or small that amount is. It has gained various connotations that depend highly on context. For instance, quantum in science usually means something small, because the quanta for energy, charge, etc. are small.
It is from the phrase "quantum leap" that the word gets its connotation of something large, but this is a misreading of the term. In this phrase, the proper connotation is of an abrupt change, but not necessarily large, especially a change that does not progress through noticable intermediate stages.
But your claim that it is not a proper word because it carries two (sometimes) contradictory connotations is laughable. Does this apply for the jillion other English words in this category too?
Quantum simply means a fixed amount, without indicating how large or small that amount is. It has gained various connotations that depend highly on context. For instance, quantum in science usually means something small, because the quanta for energy, charge, etc. are small.
It is from the phrase "quantum leap" that the word gets its connotation of something large, but this is a misreading of the term. In this phrase, the proper connotation is of an abrupt change, but not necessarily large, especially a change that does not progress through noticable intermediate stages.
But your claim that it is not a proper word because it carries two (sometimes) contradictory connotations is laughable. Does this apply for the jillion other English words in this category too?
22
A person can only think that 'quantum' means a large amount if they are woefully ignorant of physics.
24
Fnarf - But I think that's why they've taken him in a different direction now. It's not really about gadgets or the evil empire anymore. It's a little more personal and dark, with an actual plotline.
Plus, the hotness. I've always had a thing for slightly funny-looking British dudes.
Plus, the hotness. I've always had a thing for slightly funny-looking British dudes.
25
But, Julie, those are the things that made the franchise worthwhile; they gave it frisson, style. Now they're just more blow-em-up superthrillers, the most boring film genre of all time. Craig is greasy and hunky, but he doesn't have any personality or style. The films are as divorced from reality as they ever were, but they don't have any fantasy value either anymore.
Seriously. The next Bond should be ninety minutes of Carrot Top being tortured by hillbillies.
Seriously. The next Bond should be ninety minutes of Carrot Top being tortured by hillbillies.
26
Julie, I'm with you. British men are dreamy. Post cold war spys are difficult to write for. But Daniel gets me hot the way Sean Connery used to.
28
Re: words with contradictory meanings are useless. I was making a JOKE, F! Fooling around! Making a silly point about a silly movie! No, I was not issuing a true injunction against a category of words.
Re: know-nothing about physics. That one's true. I give you that. Thank you to everyone who has explained this thing to me, although I must say that after all this, I am terrified to use the word at all.
Re: Bond's insufficient or sufficient reinvention: Sufficient! IF, and I stress IF, they keep it up. This new movie uses a standin for Bond's emotions (namely, a girl, which is a reversal of the New Man of the last movie), and that is very disappointing. Otherwise, I say: Ok. I still love paranoia and technological optimism, especially when the body it is assisting looks like that. And I agree with Julie re: dark.
Re: know-nothing about physics. That one's true. I give you that. Thank you to everyone who has explained this thing to me, although I must say that after all this, I am terrified to use the word at all.
Re: Bond's insufficient or sufficient reinvention: Sufficient! IF, and I stress IF, they keep it up. This new movie uses a standin for Bond's emotions (namely, a girl, which is a reversal of the New Man of the last movie), and that is very disappointing. Otherwise, I say: Ok. I still love paranoia and technological optimism, especially when the body it is assisting looks like that. And I agree with Julie re: dark.
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