It appears the Parks Board has shot down an attempt to ban nudity in Seattle parks.
"It appears the whole thing is dead," says clothing-optional activist Daniel Johnson. "One of the biggest arguments [the parks department made] is they’re concerned everyone comes to the park feels comfortable. The parks board commission kind of wondered why the whole thing was necessary."
More tomorrow.
In the comments to this post, where I express my disgust at the idea of a Monopoly movie, someone said this:
You know what else I thought would be god awful?A movie based on a pirate ride at Disney World.
Boy, did I ever eat my hat on that one.
Posted by UNPAID COMMENTER on November 13, 2008 at 4:25 PM
I take your point, UNPAID COMMENTER. I enjoyed Pirates of the Caribbean quite a bit at the time of its release. However, I would gladly take back the experience of watching Pirates of the Caribbean if it meant I could forget about the existence of the godawful sequels. Even if, somehow, Monopoly manages to be a good, entertaining movie, I'm already dreading Monopoly 2: Buy Harder, directed by Tony Scott.
Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy the first pictures of planets like our own solar system's circling a star like our own.
First, from the Keck Observatory, two planets orbiting a star about a 130 light years away:
Next from the Hubble, of one planet orbiting a star a mere 25 light years away:
Expect Bush to issue a desperate Executive Order, demanding equal time for the intelligent falling theory in American classrooms.
(Via an uncharacteristically hysterical Discover Magazine blog.)
We already have a great list of readers going for next week's Slog Happy of Shame, but there's still room for some of you who may be on the fence. So when you get home tonight, look through some of your old poetry/short stories/and collection of love letters you were never brave enough to actually send, and then e-mail me and say "Megan! I'll do it! I'll embarrass the fuck out of myself in front of my Slog peers!"
For all the rest of you who are too shy to share, but still want to be a part of the shame, join us this Wednesday, November 19th at Theatre Off Jackson. It starts at 6 pm and it's totally free.
See you there!
(And for those of you who think their writing is far too terrible to ever share with a room of strangers years after it was written, keep this in mind: the poem I currently plan on reading is called "I Hate You," and it's actually lyrics to a song I wrote for my imaginary band called Go Away Megan. Nothing is too terrible. We all have our secrets.)

This is the most difficult video game in the history of the world. I've gotten 1.6 meters so far, out of, I think, 100 meters. It seems to be even harder than this old chestnut:
But way to combine my two favorite on-screen moments ever:
Also, speaking of bees, EEW EW EW EW EEW EEEEW.
I was talking to my dad last weekend about the election. I discovered that he voted—something I've never known him to do. He was a foreign correspondent and lived in Asia for 25 years. He always seemed disconnected from U.S. politics and the elections here. He recalled the last time he voted was in the ’70s "for a Socialist candidate who wanted to end the war." Um, that's the Vietnam War he's talking about.
I asked him what had motivated him to finally vote now.
His answer: Sarah Palin.
He was disgusted that someone so obviously unqualified would be in that position and that the Republicans were trying to bamboozle us with this stupid stunt.
Hurray!

Seriously, Lindy. I will not review this fucking movie when it comes out. I refuse to review a Monopoly movie:
...Ridley Scott, who has been attached as a producer on "Monopoly" and has been mentioned as a possible director, is now officially attached to helm the project, with an eye toward giving it a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic "Blade Runner."
Worse than a movie about a board game, it's a movie about real estate hoarders. By a director cannibalizing an earlier, undoubtedly better work. This sounds so fucking terrible I can't even quite fathom how bad it will be. Like man's inhumanity to man, it keeps getting worse every time I think about it.
I've got a piece in this week's paper about cyclists who claim they've been harassed by the Seattle Police Department and I've got a few more stories to share:
About a year and a half ago, at around 11:45 pm on a weekday night I had an officer stop me in the parking lot of the 7-11 on pike & Madison. [S]he informed me that she had seen me riding earlier, and that I had to make sure that my asscrack was covered up. She told me that otherwise, I'd get a ticket for indecent exposure.Sometimes my asscrack does hang out while I'm riding my bike. I'm still pretty sure that that doesn't constitute indecent exposure.
I also received this email from another reporter in town. I'm reprinting it here with their permission.
Hi Jonah:I'm a reporter at [redacted] and just read your biking story. I didn't want to post a reply, but thought I'd tell you what happened to me. I was biking to work in July in the Westlake parking lot, which I always though was safe, when a truck turned in from Westlake Ave. heading toward the water without even slowing down. Not seeing or expecting it, I hit it. As the ambulance was loading me up for a trip to the hospital, the cop gave me a ticket for not yielding to the truck. (there of course were no signs in the lot) Nobody I told can believe it so I took it to court and lost (after e-mailing the lawyer recommended by the Cascade bike club, who never even bothered to respond). What really ticks me off is the lame police report the cop filed. There was a very nice woman who saw the whole thing and called 911, but her name was no where on the report so I couldn't call her as a witness in my case. The only witness the cop put down was a guy who didn't even see the accident. This is a city where the mayor is supposed to be encouraging cycling, and the cops pull stunts like this.
If you've got a similar story you'd like to share, send me an email.
Someone is suing Classmates.com for lying in their advertising:
When Classmates.com told user Anthony Michaels last Christmas Eve that his former school chums were trying to contact him, he pulled out his wallet and upgraded to the premium membership that would let him contact long-lost fifth-grade dodge-ball buddies and see if his secret crush from high school had looked him up online.But once he'd parted with the $15, Michaels learned the shocking truth: No one he knew was trying to contact him at all. Classmates.com's come-on was a lie, and he'd been scammed.
At least that's what the San Diego resident alleges in a lawsuit filed against one of the net's original social networking sites, whose banner ads featuring unflattering yearbook pictures remain a staple around the internet. If the lawsuit, which is seeking class action status, succeeds, it could raise the minimum standards of honesty for online businesses.
This is probably good news in that it's bad news for obnoxious internet advertisers, but it must be a lonely thing to admit that you were taken advantage of in this way and you want your money back.
The best thing about this story is not the fact that a man brought a small pet alligator into a bar (BOOORING), but what happened to that alligator once it arrived on the scene:

HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Ever heard the one about the guy who walked into a bar with an alligator?That's the joke going around Orange County after a man tried to bring his 3-foot pet alligator into Johnny's Saloon and was shunned.
Police and animal control officers were called to the bar early Saturday morning to retrieve the leashed alligator, said police Sgt. Dave Dierking.
When officers arrived, the animal was in the man's vehicle in the bar's parking lot. Officers then followed the man to his home where another alligator was found, animal control spokesman Ryan Drabek said.
Okay. The headline is:
Not "Leashed alligator impounded by animal control after entering SoCal bar."
Not "Leashed alligator stomped to death after entering SoCal bar."
Not "Leashed alligator regarded with general alarm after entering SoCal bar."
Not "Leashed alligator consumes human toe after entering SoCal bar."
But "Leashed alligator shunned after entering SoCal bar."

Shunned. Shunned!
What
the
fuck
do
you
mean
by
SHUNNED?
Targets of shunning can include, but are not limited to apostates, whistleblowers, dissidents, people classified as "sinners" or "traitors" and other people who defy or who fail to comply with the standards established by the shunning group(s).
Apostates, whistleblowers, and small pet alligators. But why would an alligator give a shit? Alligators do not crave human attention. This is why alligators makes shitty pets, and this is why shunning is entirely the wrong punishment for alligator transgressions. Thank you.
(Via Slog tipper Matt Hickey.)
From the comments to this post:
How do European blacks feel about gay marriage? Come to think about it, the gay marraige issue is one upon which Charles has remained silent. Whattaya say, Chuckles? You love the African-American culture, right? What is your take on the whole kerfuffle? Why 70%? Is it entirely religion? Is there something else? Fill us in.
I'm actually angry with black Americans on this point. The whole homophobia thing is just so tired. I wish they would get over it and move on. Let gays be gays, let love be love, let marriage be marriage for all. In fact, I find it rather ridiculous that out of the three main racial groups in California, the one with the most out-of-wedlock births, the lowest marriage rates, and the highest never-married rates had the nerve to vote in favor of Prop 8. What the fucking fuck!
That said, here is something I wrote seven years ago in the Gay Pride issue:
When the former president of Zimbabwe, Caanan Banana, was tried and convicted for sodomy in the late '90s, most Africans believed that his advanced Western education (he was a learned theologian) induced his abnormal desires for men. Excessive exposure to Western culture had turned a once normal African man with a standard sexual appetite into a European libertine with an appetite for the bizarre gay sex. This is how homosexuality is represented in Africa's popular imagination: It is the ultimate sign of white culture, the final product of democratic freedom.White culture is corrupt, exemplifying nothing less than the fruit of knowledge that awakens the innocent mind to evil delights, unearthly pleasures. Too much white knowledge will dislocate the African man from what Disney's Lion King describes as "the cycle of life." Indeed, while the West has blamed African promiscuity for AIDS, Africans have always accused Western decadence for bringing the deadly disease to Africa.
Black America also makes similar connections between white decadence/gay lifestyle and corruption. In a class I taught many years ago at Seattle Central Community College, a black student had no problem linking J. Edgar Hoover's purported homosexuality with the fact that he was, one, white, and two, morally bankrupt. To find the most hysterical expression of this attitude (white culture = decadence = homosexuality) in black America, you only have to read the once popular book Soul on Ice, by Eldridge Cleaver, which argues that "Negro homosexuals" were "touching their toes" for white men because their sense of masculinity had been corrupted by white culture.
Whether in Africa or America, for blacks, homosexuality takes the form of the foreign, the rupture on the border of black culture that initiates the fall from grace. This perception not only locates black gay men as dysfunctional or sick (which is what black homophobia shares with white homophobia), but also as race traitors, sexual Uncle Toms who have surrendered their black identity to European decadence.
The Seattle Parks Department's meeting tonight to talk about these people:

Nudists! Or, as some of them prefer, "clothing-optional activists" have been lobbying the city for years to sanction nude sunbathing and other clothing-optional events in Seattle's parks and pools.

Activist Steve Mayo, 44—who says he's "always been kind of a clothing optional guy"—is one of the coordinators of the World Naked Bike Ride and has participated in nude bike rides in Seattle and Vancouver for about a decade. According to Mayo, the city is cracking down on nudity in public parks—which, he says, has been allowed for years—after the Parks Department received complaints about an event last summer.
"The implication is that this is all happening because there was indecent exposure at the World Naked Bike Ride [in June]," Mayo says, adding that no one indecently exposed themselves at the WNBR. "[The city is] trying to deal with cruising in parks, but those aren't the same as the clothing optional people," Mayo says. "If someone in the naked bike ride was going around jacking off or something, take them to jail. But that’s not what happens."
Regardless, the Parks Department says nudity is offensive and disruptive to other park users.
"I’m offended when someone has a child out of control but I don’t ask them to pass laws," Mayo says. "When someone has an offensive odor, do you call the odor police? What is the goal they’re trying to accomplish. [If] it disrupts use of parks by other people, I would be happy if it was a time share thing [the] first Saturday of the month."
The police department has also sent a memo to concerned neighbors, but the department seems pretty damn apathetic about the whole thing. Probably because they've got other shit to do.
From the memo:
Historically, it has been difficult in Seattle to prosecute cases of public nudity. The position of the police department is to take a report upon receiving a complaint, identify the individual involved, and forward the complaint to the city attorney.
"Being naked is not against the law [and] being naked does not constitute indecent exposure," says SPD spokesman Sean Whitcomb. "Indecent exposure has everything to do with being naked and the context which surrounds it. When someone’s riding on the street naked on a bike, usually that’s going to surprise people. But is it going to cause so much affront that they’re going to call us and ask us to hunt down that bicyclist? Probably not."
If you want to fight for your right to display your taint in public parks, tonight's meeting is at 7 p.m. at Parks Department HQ.
One of my pet peeves is when people complain about how they live in the future, but they have not gotten a flying car yet. Frankly, the way most people drive, I'm not too excited about the idea of a whole new dimension—up—being added to the equation. And if lots of people had them, fossil fuel use would probably go through the roof (no pun initially intended, but I am pleased with it and it will stay.) In any case, I am here to tell you, citizens of the future, that your flying car is here:

The seed of this improbable adventure was sown four years ago when Gilo Cardozo, a paramotor manufacturer, had a eureka moment. For those not familiar with paramotors, picture a parachutist with a giant industrial fan strapped to his back, which provides forward motion and boosts lift for the parachute - or wing - during takeoff. Cardozo’s brainwave was to attach a car to the fan.“I started making a paramotor on wheels that you sit on and take off and it suddenly occurred to me, ‘Why not just have a car that does everything?’” recalls Cardozo, whose Wiltshire-based company Parajet built the paramotor that the adventurer Bear Grylls used to fly near Everest last year.
In response to this post about Obama reading poetry, Slog tipper ubutunes writes:
Turns out he writes it, too, or used to, when he was surfer boy Barry Obama his first years as Occidental College. Check out this report from Fox news in Greensboro, featuring Bill the Baker, a then friend of Obama.
Many thanks to ubutunes, who notes, in the spirit of full disclosure, that he "went to grad school with Bill the Baker." Did he go by Bill the Grad Student back then, or did he bake in addition to his studies?
When in Rome...

When in New York City...

There's a large bronze lady opposite this large bronze man in the lobby of the Time Warner Center. Her genitals have not been touched by millions of pilgrims.
Gabbing over soap-opera footage, as perfected by Deven Green.
Thank you for the heads-up, World of Wonder.
I tend to agree with people like Joseph Romm. The management of the Big Three doesn't deserve salvation—which I didn't make that clear in my original post. What I demand is a second chance for the engineers and line workers.
The poor decision makers presently running GM, Ford and Chrysler need to go—as a part of a bailout or bankruptcy reorganization.
It's wrong to think of GM only as Hummers and Suburbans:
GM's heavy-duty hybrid technology would be far more revolutionary than Toyota's.The Toyota technology can only be applied to smaller, lighter vehicles topping out at perhaps the Highlander SUV. Such vehicles are only suited to commuting. In contrast, GM's technology (developed with BMW and Chrysler) can be applied to huge vehicles pickups, commercial trucks, and buses.
Why is the GM technology superior? The efficiency gains from hybrid technology are vastly larger in big vehicles. A Prius has only about a 20% gain in operating efficiency, compared to a similarly sized and shaped car. In contrast, the improvement for a full-sized pickup is more like 200-250%.
The Prius, in many instances, is replaceable; bicycles for short trips, mass transit for basic travel. Commute-shmommute; abandoning those cars will give us greater gains than switching to slightly better engines. But those larger vehicles, their tasks are still imperative.
Even if you buy into the environmentally clean car commute bullshit, GM's approach here is objectively better than anyone else. The Chevy Volt drives its wheels only with electric motors, supplementing the energy stored in a modest battery pack with a gasoline-fired electric generator.
Electric motors produce all their torque right from the start, obviating the need for any sort of energy-sapping transmission system, particularly the ornate sort required when both gas and electric motors are driving the wheels. The small battery pack is sufficient in capacity for the vast majority of trips taken by people with these sorts of cars. The vast majority of energy in vehicle is stored as liquid fuel that is more weight, space and energy efficient than batteries will ever be. And, since the gas-fired motor is only attached to a generator, it can always operate at its optimal speed using only fixed gearing. The whole package uses each part to its maximal advantage, while being overall simpler than the Prius-hybrid approach. If people are going to continue to commute by car, and live in sprawl, this is the better approach.
Compare these technologies to the bullshit hydrogen fuel-cell cars being touted by Honda. Hydrogen is a total nightmare. It's vastly more difficult to distribute than liquid fuel or electricity. When it leaks out, it acts as a greenhouse gas. And, the vast majority of hydrogen fuel is made by inefficiently converting fossil fuels—still dumping carbon into the atmosphere. The fuel cells require a tremendous amount of rare metals, the mining of which is a total environmental nightmare. Hydrogen cars, from a net environmental impact, are likely worse than a traditional gasoline-fired small car.
In contrast, the technology in the Volt really is revolutionary—a true net environmental benefit when you consider life of the car from start to finish.
The work done by American assembly workers is as good as any around the world. JD Power's initial quality survey tells you that. Or the quality of US-made Hondas and Toyotas. US-made cars are objectively better in build quailty to those made in Europe or even most factories in Asia—on par with the best Japanese-manufactured cars, and have been for nearly a decade. You sound like a fool when claiming otherwise. If you seriously believe American's cannot assemble things, when blessed with a proper management, I suggest not flying anywhere, ever.
I strongly disagree that there can be a healthy post-industrial US economy. A huge contributor to our present woes is the idiotic policy stance that we can somehow transition to a service-based economy, shedding all manufacturing to other nations while living on credit and currency imbalances. Manufacturing jobs allow people willing to work hard to live well—without the burden of years of education, for which many do not have interest, aptitude or access. One in ten jobs in the country is directly related to the auto industry—the sorts of jobs that still provide things like retirement benefits and health care for employees.
The dirty truth is, the migration of manufacturing jobs away from the US has been an environmental, economic and social disaster for the entire globe. Shipping heavy goods around the planet carries a heavy carbon footprint. Allowing imports from countries with lax or non-existant labor and environmental regulations leads to things like the brown cloud of doom choking people throughout Northeast Asia. The state-supported export-based Chinese economy has proven as brittle and unstable as many feared.
I'm not opposed to industrialization around the globe. Just, more of this growth in production needs to be for domestic consumption—where the people assembling can afford and purchase that which they are making. India took this path. China didn't. Compare the states of their economies today.
We've had no industrial policy in this country for decades. Should we be really surprised that the auto industry is a total fiasco? So, yes. It's time for the hand of government to enter into this sector of the economy—promoting manufacturing in the US through good policy. Policy like enforcing the environmental and labor standards in existing trade agreements. Policy like demanding the auto industry prepare for a post-carbon world. Policy that promotes and shares innovative technologies to US manufacturers. Part of this, I still believe, should be a helping hand to those who have done right by all of us—the engineers and line workers—right now when they need it most.
As for the animation of the new Bond's title sequence, it's serious, not groovy. Bond wanders a desolate landscape of sand dunes with his gun, trying to protect himself from an unseen enemy—when he realizes that the landscape itself is the enemy! Great Scott! Those sand dunes are giant women! Watch it here.
If you like the old title sequences (I never thought of James Bond in terms of this artist before!), here's a good collage of them:
This just came from my cousin-in-law Paul, with the delightful subject line, "Outer Darkness and Son of Perdition for me!":
Hey Jake & Dave,I just thought I'd let you guys know that I formally resigned from the Mormon Church, got an irate letter notarized, asked that my name be stricken from the official records, etc. While in a way it was really just a trivial, clerical matter, which is why I had not done so before, it seemed to me to be a perfect time to do so as a way of getting the message of disapproval to Church Leadership; it was also a way to show a bit of support for you guys, specifically.
I've talked to the rest of my immediate family, and was honestly not sure what their reaction would be, despite all of us obviously being completely inactive. Turns out that all of the—Mom, Dad, my sister—are planning to formally resign as well.
Hope to see you guys in the future sooner rather than later.
Best, Paul
As I've been repeating to friends and loved ones since election night, the passage of Prop 8 of course sucks, but the outpouring of outrage that's greeted the legislation has been an awesome consolation prize, proving that the fight for marriage equality has made the leap from fringe obsession to American civil rights issue.
Speaking of which: PROTEST PROP 8 THIS SATURDAY NOVEMBER 15.
The schedule:
10:30 am: "Pre-festivities" begin in Volunteer Park.
Noon: Rally in Volunteer Park
1 pm: March to Westlake Center
2 pm: Rally at Westlake Center (scheduled speakers: State Senators Ed Murray and Joe McDermott, State Rep. Jamie Pedersen, and King County Executive Ron Sims)

Etch-a-sketch from Flickr user etchasketchist.
Apparently, the Washington Post has just discovered that the FBI followed Norman Mailer around for 15 years, in part because he said that Jackie Kennedy was "too soft-spoken."
Agents questioned his friends, scoured his passport file, thumbed through his best-selling books and circulated his photo among informants. They kept records on his appearances at writers conferences, talk shows and peace rallies. They noted the volume of envelopes in his mailbox and jotted down who received his Christmas cards. They posed as his friend, chatted with his father and more than once knocked on his door disguised as deliverymen.
It's sad that Norman Mailer is dead, because he really would've loved to know he was the center of all that attention.

I just found this news story from Saturday that reports Barack Obama was seen carrying a collection of poetry by Derek Walcott, specifically Collected Poems 1948-1984.
Walcott, who won the Nobel Prize for literature in 1992, is a great poet and a giant of Caribbean literature. I recommend Omeros, an epic poem that retells the Odyssey. I know that George Bush reads books, but I just can't get excited about his choices, which mostly lean to biographies and sports books. Obama reads poetry. For fun. Can I go back in time and vote for him again?
A great point is made in the middle of this NPR article, "Obama's Win Brings Racist Remarks From Europe":
Julian Bond, chairman of the NAACP, says, "The big difference here is that the United States has been thinking about and dealing with race since we were founded. These countries in Europe are relative newcomers to the conversation about race. They are much less familiar with confronting their own bigotry."As much as I admire Europe's achievements in thought and art, I could never live there. Europeans are terribly unfriendly to Africans. And they make no effort to hide or overcome their low regard of black and brown foreigners. In America, I feel my blackness only part of the time; in Europe, not one minute passes without a strong awareness of the color of my skin. Europe will never elect an Obama.Until the 20th century, many European countries lacked substantial populations of racial minorities. In recent decades, the influx of immigrants, many from former colonies, has stirred racial tensions on the continent.
Bond adds, "I have always thought that European countries are more bigoted than the U.S."
A few days ago, Jonathan Golob made the case that the US should bail out General Motors—arguing, essentially, that the loss of GM would reverberate throughout the US economy. Moreover, Jonathan wrote, GM pays well and has come up with technological innovations—like the Chevy Volt—that rival those of Japanese automakers. "If we allow GM and the auto industry to fail, it’s unclear what, if anything, would replace the key role it played in our economy. I cannot fathom how to renew an industrial middle class without the auto companies—and the vast manufacturing networks supported by them," Jonathan wrote.
A couple of folks far more familiar with auto industry than I am have argued compellingly that any bailout should come with tough conditions. GM, after all, can't blame its failure entirely on outside forces. To the contrary, it has persistently refused to change, innovate, and adapt. The auto giant spent millions fighting against higher fuel-economy standards (including right here in Washington State), gleefully amped up production of low-mileage SUVs the second gas prices rebounded, and wasted the opportunity provided by the Clinton-era Partnership for New Generation Vehicles to create new generation of clean vehicles. This is a company, as KC Golden of Climate Solutions noted in yesterday's PI, whose CEO once callled global warming "a total crock of shit."
Because GM has refused to change on its own, Golden argues, the only way to save it is to force it to change.
The market wants efficient cars; the engineers can produce them; the law requires them. But GM's lawyers and executives fight on for their right to commit commercial suicide and planetary ecocide, even as they descend on Congress, cup in hand.Bullitt Foundation President Denis Hayes nailed it: "In World War II ... Detroit was ordered to stop making cars and start making tanks. Today, Detroit needs to be ordered to stop making civilian tanks and start making cars."
Hayes proposes that manufacturers be required to deliver cars that average 50 miles per gallon by 2020, and 100 mpg by 2030. That should be a minimum condition of any bailout. Little tweaks won't do it. We need — and to survive, the company needs — an automotive revolution.
We can't revitalize the economy by resuscitating a gasping Hummosaurus. We have to build a new, more durable economy by investing in the infrastructure and industries that can sustain prosperity and save the planet.
At Grist, Joseph Romm argues that GM's management brought the company's failure on themselves, and worries that if the government does the company a multi-billion-dollar taxpayer handout, they'll just spend the money the way they always have: lobbying against higher fuel economy standards and limits on greenhouse gas emissions.
The overarching question, he writes,
is not whether many more jobs are going to be lost in the term. They are. The question is will we end up with a well-managed domestic auto industry that can prevent far larger job loss in the medium term and thrive in the long term? Will we end up with an industry that understands its only hope for the future is being part of the solution to peak oil and global warming — and that means changing its core drivetrain.