Now that the election's over and we've confirmed that Scarlett Johansson is an illegal clone, we can turn to other pressing problems of the day, such as how come the beaks of Pacific NW birds are coming out all fucked up?

From a March report in the Seattle P-I, Deformed beaks mean slow starvation for region's birds; cause a mystery:

This "long-billed syndrome" has been recorded in about 160 birds by a Skagit County researcher, mostly in Western Washington and southern British Columbia and mostly since 2000. It's also documented in more than 2,100 birds in Alaska, where the phenomenon seems to have started affecting lots of birds in the early 1990s.

Researchers say the weird beaks appear to be concentrated in Alaska and the Pacific Northwest, although reports are coming in from farther south -- from Southern California in one case earlier this month.

What's the cause? That remains a mystery. A small band of puzzled, poorly funded scientists is scrambling to find answers. Could it be chemicals? Something genetic? A disease? Maybe a combination?

Could it affect humans?

Whatever the cause, researchers are left profoundly unsettled by the mysterious "long-billed syndrome."

Googling the syndrome brings up a wealth of news reports and university studies about overgrown mandibles and decurved maxillas. There's a Flickr photo pool, Birds with Deformed Bills.

I blame crystal meth.