Monday, November 10, 2008
??!! / Chow Enriching the Lives of Animals! (Not You, Turkeys)
Posted by Lindy West on Mon, Nov 10, 2008 at 3:00 PM
The folks at the Woodland Park Zoo just sent out a press release hyping their upcoming Turkey Toss, "part of the zoo’s ongoing enrichment program to help enrich the lives of the zoo’s animals, promote natural animal behavior, keep animals mentally and physically stimulated and provide added enjoyment for zoo visitors."
Because nothing's more natural than an African lion munching on a defrosted turkey from Albertson's.
WHEN:
Saturday, November 22, 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
Jaguar, 10:00 a.m.
Snow leopard, 10:00 a.m.
Golden lion tamarin monkeys, 11:00 a.m.
Arctic foxes, 11:30 a.m.
Piranhas, 11:30 a.m.
Wolves, 1:15 p.m.
Pigs, 1:30 p.m.
Komodo dragons, 2:00 p.m.
Grizzly bears, 2:00 p.m.
Lemurs, 2:00 p.m.
Tiger, 2:00 p.m.
Jaguar, sure. Snow leopard, got it. Wolves, duuuh. But piranhas? Lemurs? Golden lion tamarin fucking monkeys? These are not exactly turkeys' natural foes. Do monkeys even like turkey?
Okay, okay. Point taken, you goddamn monkey.
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2
Zoos are theaters of cruelty. Would you stand there watching as somebody fed puppies to an alligator, or todddlers to a lobster? This is exactly like that. Animals have rights, including the right not to be eaten. Or in the case of predators, to not eat.
Solidarity!
4
You should see what a tiger can do to a pumpkin.
The tiger at the WPZ carved a near-perfect jack-o-lantern. Heck if I know where he found a candle.
5
Many species of monkey hunt and kill small prey when the opportunity presents itself. Babbons and apes too. Chimps form organized hunting parties and divide the meat according to social status. This has even been observed in the Bonobo, the so-called "hippie-ape".
9
Isay feed them some zookeepers. Or feed them pit bulls. Live pit bulls who have attacked people. Or feed them a naked George Bush!
11
Monkey's only eat turkey once a year when their families force it on them in November. They only enjoy it if it's moist and well seasoned.
12
I kind of wish you could actually watch the animals hunt. I've seen lions go after prey and its fucking fascinating.
The turkey thing does seem amusing though...
13
Turkey's one thing but they'll be rightfully pissed off if the zoo forces turnips, cranberry sauce and mince pie on them.
14
It's like a poor-man's National Geographic special. Instead of watching wild animals hunt other wild animals, you can watch captive animals "hunt" defrosted grocery store turkeys!
I have to admit, I'm kind of curious to see what a pack of hungry lemurs can do to a turkey...
15
Big cat annihilating turkey = awesome. Monkey picking apart turkey carcass = frightening, and a bit ominous.
19
Those fuckin' monkeys SCARE me...
They look like the fetish doll that chased Karen Black around that apartment...
22
yeah, I work in monkey-infested forests in Central America. Monkeys love to eat birds. They are nasty and brutish at it. ("oh, i'll just pull off the limbs, one at a time...and maybe actually kill it later...)
yes, it IS frightening and a bit ominous to watch.
I say go watch the piranhas, at least they don't look like us.
23
Freakin' awesome. Hey you know meat-eating animals like to eat meat and whatnot, which is why they are called 'meat-eating.' How is it a bad thing to give them turkey?
#2 are we talking frozen or thawed puppies n' toddlers? Seriously, though, 'theaters of cruelty????' Really? REALLY?
24
Man with clipboard: "What are you?"
Otter: "I'm an otter! I swim around and do cute human things with my paws"
Man with clipboard: "You're free to go"
Man with clipboard: "What are you?"
Cow: "I'm a cow"
Man with clipboard: "Get in the truck!"
Cow: "Buuut I'm an animal!"
Man with clipboard: "You're a wallet, get in the truck."
26
oh, & @2:
i know you're being hilarious & ironic, but zoos ARE theatres of cruelty.
go watch the wolves anxiously pace & pace & pace in their pitiful enclosure and tell me they're happy. they're prisoners.
27
Kidnapping animals to live in horribly inadequate facilities that in no way approximate their natural habitats or range of territory while drooling shitheads commodify them for entertainment is bad enough.
The exploitation of additional species' to heighten our objectification of them (and help them conform to our tidy ideas about masculinity and power) is a nice cherry on top.
28
This is a terrible idea. I, for one, am sick of watching animals sleep at the zoo instead of doing awesome attacks and growling. Turkey is not helping.
29
ooh, and just before my membership lapses! Guess who's skipping family Thanksgiving to go watch lemurs fuck up a turkey?!
30
This is a Serious Issue, and we need to show Very Serious Solidarity with our animal friends.
MONKEY!
MONKEY MONKEY!
MONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEYMONKEY!!!!!
MONKEY!
32
...and go ahead and mock the zoo's Turkey Toss at Thanksgiving and the Pumpkin Prowl at Halloween.
If you're concerned about animal cruelty, it's the three-pronged March 17th onslaught of the Corned Beef Crossbow, Cabbage Catapult, and Colcannon Cannon that you want to avoid.
34
I fucking hate zoos. The pacing, the stench, it's a dead zone.
And, if the choice is to have a turkey toss, they have to be alive.
Why not open the zoo pens completely and see what happens, for fuck sake?
37
hmmm. yeah, if the zoo is really into enrichment, then for animals such as lions should get live turkeys.
but i bet there are lots of reasons they don't wanna do that. good ones n bad ones.
38
Why is that your book guy broke the film forum story and you posted some lion eating a turkey? SERIOUSLY WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR JOB?
40
27-
Yeah, zoos aren't the best environments for animals. But in a lot of cases a captive population represents the best chance for a species's eventual survival- particularly big cats and the like. Without the maintenance of a healthy captive gene pool, there are several subspecies of tiger you can say goodbye to within a couple of decades.
As we learn more about animal behavior we can also design exhibits that are bigger, more diverse, and more stimulating.
Finally, zoos represent one of the best means available to get people to actually give a damn about wildlife and the environment. Sure, we can and should do it better. But done right, a zoo can do a world of good.
41
@40: i am aware of the positive mission that zoos play in the preservation of species. i just don't enjoy seeing animals having anxiety attacks while yokels tease them.
last year's tiger attack at the SF zoo was the final straw for me. i rooted for the tiger. i assume most of us did.
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