Editor's Note: Seattle's Monogamy Party is currently on tour for about 10 days, traveling down the West Coast. They'll be graciously checking in from time to time, telling us their stories from the road. If you live in California or Oregon, you can see their upcoming tour dates here.
We were solicited for prostitution last night.
Kennedy's been sick the last couple days so he's been drinking straight apple cider vinegar. We got out of Seattle heading to Portland for our first show and it seemed like an eternity to get through traffic. Also, what the fuck is the deal with that space inbetween Tacoma and Dupont that seems to be locked in a perpetual vortex of congestion? After a fairly uneventful drive, we arrived in Portland and went straight to The Know. The show started fairly early, but plenty of people came in time to catch Gaytheist, who played first. Gaytheist and Wizard Rifle both played dope sets. Nick from Gaytheist is, and looks, intense as fuck when playing drums. There was a pit during our set which was something new to us—I'm not sure if that's ever happened to us out of Seattle. While we were playing our song "Fucking Out Your Brains," I looked out and saw that my aunt was in the crowd as soon as I said the words "just to make you cum." And then shit got weird afterward.
by Dan Savage
on Tue, Oct 11, 2011 at 3:32 PM
You responded to a woman who discovered her husband was gay last June and provided her brief but excellent advice—as you often do—then you ended with blanket apologies from, well the likes of me.
I am gay. I didn't want to be. My dad was gay and I was very angry at him for it. He hurt my mother. He hurt my family. He was a better man after he came out. In high school in mid 80's and in the buckle of the Bible belt I thought that if my friends knew about Dad they would shun me as an "AIDS leper." There was an openly gay kid in school and his life was hell. When I realized that I was attracted to boys I became very shy and withdrawn. I dated girls and was adament that I was straight. I had gay sex in college. I knew for sure that I was gay but I still tried to hide it. I fell in love with a boy but I cut off the relationship with him and dated a girl instead. She was nice, kind of a fag hag, and she gave good head so I thought, "Heck, maybe this girl can make me straight." She knew about my former boyfriend and found the porn under my bed. I said I was bi. She said OK.
Twenty years later and three kids later: I hate my life. I have never allowed myself to have a friend because I was afraid I would fall in lust/love with him. I don't enjoy sex. I do love my wife but more as a friend. I have not physically cheated on her but I did hide porn and chats. I got close to hooking up but never really went through with it. I came out to my wife a year ago. I want to make it work for the kids but I feel like I am living more of a lie than before. I didn't mean to hurt her, or anyone else. I was afraid. In a way I bullied myself. I watched that boy in high school to get bullied and took it all in. I have always been "tolerance" type, left wing and relatively liberal, but I understand where those right-wing nut jobs are coming from. All those guys trying to be something they are not. You die a little inside when society says you are sinful.
To SIMP and the all other straight spouses out there I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I cannot speak for your husbands who lied about themselves but I know that I lied out of fear and that lie hurt me and others.