I feel like asking a non partial third party is my best option as you are likely to be brief and to the point and disapproval won't hurt my feelings as much coming from a stranger as opposed to my sister or a friend.

Here's my query: I went through a breakup back in July. I'm not 100% sure I'm ready to get back out there, but they say if you wait until you're ready you'll never do it. I've had success with Tinder twice before (it's where I met my two previous boyfriends). So I figured, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. The relationships didn't work out, but not because of where I met them, obviously. So I was swiping and landed on a guy named Sam. He's 31, attractive, employed, and actually had a written bio (which was tongue-in-cheek and funny). He had his Instagram linked to his profile so I perused that as well. (No harm in that if he has it up there, right?) I was getting ready to swipe right and my phone glitched or froze or something and his profile vanished. Usually, I would say oh well and just move on, but I still had his Instagram pulled up. He seems like an interesting guy that I would like to chat with.

Long story short (I'm terrible at getting to the point!) would it be weird to DM him on Instagram? And if it's not weird, what would I say to break the ice?

Thanks So Much

I don't know how this Tindermajob thing works exactly, as I've never been on Tinder (my catfishing-straight-boys days are behind me), and I can't check with any of my madly-swiping millennial pals because I'm on an aeroplane at the moment. But perhaps it wasn't a glitch that caused his profile to vanish. If someone swipes you left before you can swipe them right... are you still be able to see their profile? I dunno. Perhaps a Tinder user will jump into the comments and assplain it all for me.

That said, TSM, each social network has its own unique culture and unwritten code of conduct, and Instagram is Facebook's shallow, sexy younger sibling. And from what I hear—cough, cough—quite a lot can go down in a person's Instagram DMs. So it wouldn't be weird for you to DM him. Since unsolicited nudes are a dime a dozen on Instagram—more coughing—try sending him something rarer and potentially more intriguing: the truth.

"I saw you on Tinder and thought your profile was funny. Accidentally swiped left (oops!), but you seem like an interesting guy. Hope you don't mind hearing from me here. HMU if you want."

But only send one message. TSM. If he responds, great! If he doesn't, don't follow him. More don'ts: don't flip through his pics before bed; don't DM his friends; don't add him on LinkedIn. And no matter the outcome, TSM, be proud of yourself for getting back out there.

P.S. And, hey, if this is a question you're afraid to ask your friends and your sister—because they're judgy and disapproving—then make some better friends and stop confiding in your shitty sister.