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I’m a 20-year-old trans man in college. I’ve been fascinated by sex for years, probably mostly because of the fact that my parents never talked to me about it and my school sex ed was absolute bullshit. It’s not that I’ve had a lot of different kinds of sex (unfortunately), but I joked and talked about sex for years and now I can realize that my fascination probably spawns from my lack of information growing up and I can more think about it in a very analytical type of way.

I’ve also been watching porn since I was sixteen and that’s also something I never talked about my parents with. But about a year ago I found the company CockyBoys and I essentially fell in love with everything about them: the production, the models, the people who run the company, etc. I bought one of their films last January and fell even more deeply in love with them because of how spectacular the film was from an artistic standpoint. Now, because I generally enjoy talking to my parents (especially my mother) about things that are important to me, I did mention the company to them a couple of times without getting into explicit detail and last winter, my mother glibly suggested that I become a writer for the company. Which I immediately became set on doing and still want to do.

She later told me that she was wrong for saying that and she thought that porn is wrong and demoralizing and dehumanizing and her opinion will never change. It annoyed me at the time that she wouldn’t even try to look past what she believed to see what I was telling her and that CockyBoys is so much the opposite of the stereotypical porn company but now it just saddens me. Because CockyBoys is such a significant part of my life and represents so much of what I care about and working for them is what I’m passionate about being able to do one day. But I can’t say one word about CockyBoys to my parents because I know that they don’t care and don’t want to hear it.

So my question would be do you think there’s a chance they’ll ever change their views? I don’t have faith that my dad will change (he’s very cynical), but I do hope my mom will. I showed her the YouTube version of their first installment of my favorite one of their films, Answered Prayers, and she grudgingly acknowledged an appreciation for the artistic aspect. But I wanna know if you think there’s a chance she could ever fully accept it. She’s the most important person in my world and I want to be able to talk to her about things I’m passionate about, especially if I do get the chance to work with them. I hope to eventually be making my own films, porn and otherwise, and as of now, I know that no matter how proud of my work I am or how much I would want my parents to see it, they would never want to and would most likely never acknowledge my career.

Thank You For Your Time

First: stop talking about porn with your parents.

Second: let's all watch the Answered Prayers trailer together, shall we?

Impressive. I haven't seen Answered Prayers and the trailer makes it look pretty cool—and ambitious for porn these days. So, hey, thanks for the tip. And after reading up Cockyboys just now I have to say it does sound like a really cool company to work for. So here's hoping you land that dream job, TYFYT.

But porn is something we adults discuss with lovers and special friends, TYFYT, not with our parents. Now porn presumably isn't the only thing you're passionate about; therefore it's not the only thing you can talk about with mom. We are not obligated to share every single thing we love with every last person we love. I loved my mother very much, TYFYT, and we were very close. But there were things we didn't talk about because she didn't particularly enjoy discussing them. Not forcing my mom into long, detailed conversations about the artistic aspects of husband's armpits was one of the ways I showed my mother just how much I loved her.

So again, TYFYT, stop talking with your parents about porn. If you go on to have a big career in porn I'm sure your mom will be willing to watch the PG-13 trailers for your films. But even then, TYFYT, share your passion for porn with your lovers and special friends, not your parents.