This election is a teen movie I wanted to walk out of a month ago.
This election is a teen movie I wanted to walk out of a month ago. Jemastock / Shutterstock.com

Eli Sanders, Dan Savage, and I discussed Clinton/Trump debate strategies on this week's newly reformatted Blabbermouth.

Dan thinks Clinton's actually very good in debates (he's old enough to remember how well she did during the Benghazi hearings), and that all this hoo-ha about the many ways she might lose severely underestimates her skills. Eli agrees, and reminds us all that she's got a great debate face. And though it's unfair, as Dan notes, it's good political strategy for Clinton to avoid the appearance of nagging Trump. I thought she'd do well to use side-eye sparingly, and also to just have a two-hour speech prepared that accounts for Trump interruptions—which is to say that she needs to foreground her plans for the country. We all guess that Trump won't be able to express a thought that takes two minutes to articulate, and we all hope that the moderator will fact-check Trump on his bullshit.

The scouting report from the New York Times backs up a lot of this blabbering:

Clinton's Prep:

She is mentally readying herself for multiple Trumps: the disciplined opponent who sticks to big themes, the no-holds-barred adversary who goes on the offensive, and the snide antagonist who calls her a “loser” to her face.

Good. She's practicing. This practicing will surely help her in the debates, but it also shows how Hillary approaches big deal problems. She studies her opponent. She develops contingency plans. In other words, she's a fucking responsible adult person.

Trump's Prep:


He has paid only cursory attention to briefing materials. He has refused to use lecterns in mock debate sessions despite the urging of his advisers. He prefers spitballing ideas with his team rather than honing them into crisp, two-minute answers.

Okay. So. Trump is going to make a lot of game-time decisions. Who wudda thunk.

Clinton's attack plan:

Mrs. Clinton has concluded that catching Mr. Trump in a lie during the debate is not enough to beat him: She needs the huge television audience to see him as temperamentally unfit for the presidency, and that she has the power to unhinge him.

The Times scouts say she's going to call him "Donald" a lot and cast doubt on his stated net worth. He's always claiming he's worth $10 billion. Others are not so sure. This strategy would infantilize him and pressure him to dick-wag.

She could also just read with a straight face all his white supremacist retweets like the celebrities do on Jimmy Kimmel. Or better yet, she could read aloud the words of all the white supremacists who retweet Trump, and then remind the audience that those are the people who speak through Trump, and that those are the people Trump speaks to.

Trump's attack plan:

His team has been emphasizing the best ways to win: Do not pick stupid fights with her or with the moderator; explain yourself rather than get defensive; and deliver the answers you want rather than worrying about directly answering the question.

I don't think Trump is smart enough to differentiate between "smart" and "stupid" fights, but that last sentence makes me think that he's going to act exactly as he acted in that Commander-in-Chief forum with Matt Lauer. He's going to infuriate the people he already infuriating and satisfy the people he already satisfies.

I predict there will be no net change. Since Clinton's up, tie goes to Clinton.