I wanted to comment on your May 4th article, both to What's Wrong With Me? and Very Indecisive, Really Gettin' Naughty. Why? Both questions could have been written by me not long ago. I lost my virginity at age 28, and entered my first committed relationship JUST EIGHT MONTHS AGO. (I'm now 31, female heterosexual).

Like them, I was also a late-bloomer. Not really interested in dating nor piquing any interest during the "appropriate" de-virginizing/relationship age. By the time I was ready—holy shit, I'm the weirdo old virgin. I wish I could reach out to WWWM and VIRGN. Take them out for a drink and commiserate. Instead, here's what I would say to them:

1) You aren't going to lose your virginity to the Love Of Your Life. So, find someone halfway-decent. I had a COMPLICATED relationship with My First. He was a friend/someone I nursed a crush on for years. When I realized he wanted to fuck me, I took full advantage. Even though he was and is a messed-up individual who ghosted me months after we started having sex, I don't regret it. He helped wipe away that "old virgin" stigma. I could move on. Also—consider not telling Your First that you are a virgin. It worked for me. Who cares? The aren't the Love Of Your Life.

2) Date. Fucking date. Get your ass on OkCupid/Tinder/Grindr and go out to meet people. If they don't seem like weirdos, set up that coffee date.

3) Know you are going to get rejected. And boy, did I. Ghosted. Dumped via text. Dumped AFTER SEX! And it was probably the best thing for me. There was all the bad dating experience I had missed out on. I wasn't so afraid to go on that next date. Hey, how could it get any worse that the 26-year-old who dumped me because "he really wanted to focus on his jiu jitsu"?

4) Take the occasional break for some self-repair. Hardcore dating is exhausting.

5) When a particular date seems like it's going in the right direction, embrace it. You might get rejected again. But you might not.

I was lucky to meet an amazing guy through this process. And we would have never met if I sat at home, pining for my Prince Charming. Dating and sex is messy. It is complicated. But you aren't going to get get laid or find a partner if you fucking do nothing.

Send my love to WWWM and VIRGN.

Recovering Virgin