I am a little embarrassed to reach out but I am at a loss. My wife and I have been married for 15 years and are both older (50). I love her dearly but, once she went through menopause about one year ago, we have had virtually no sex (not Woody Allen's definition). She occasionally gives me oral sex but will not allow me to touch her at all. She has terrible hot flashes and vaginismus but cannot take oral estrogen. This is making me a little crazy.

I started watching porn often, I masturbate often, and, now that an old friend has moved back into the area, I am trying not to cheat. My friend and I met shortly after my wife and I moved in together but I always found her sexy. She seems to feel the same way about me. There is a lot of tension between the two of us. She has a lot of baggage and it will likely affect my marriage. I find myself fawning over women at the gym and often feeling inappropriate. I am quite frustrated. Any suggestions?

Mid-Life Crazy

Sex workers, discretion, compassion.