I'm a 32-year-old straightish guy dipping a toe in the bi waters with my girl's blessing. (She's GGG as fuck!) I'm not interested in a relationship and am not a "scene" guy or frequenter of gay bars. I just want some quick and easy dick so I've been looking online: Craigslist and Grindr.

My girl and I agreed that condoms for everything, including oral sex, were a must outside of our relationship. I realize the risks of STI transmission during unprotected oral sex are comparatively low but there is still plenty of nasty shit out there. Without fail, every single fucking guy I've talked to balks at my insistence that we use rubbers for oral. Am I taking crazy pills? Why does it seem like the all these guys are hell bent on getting an STI?

I've been shutting down the pushy assholes who give me a hard time for wanting to be safe but should I be? Should I not be as concerned as I am? Any advice for how to attract sensible people from the get go?

Bi Loves Oral Wants Safety

At the height of the AIDS crisis—a time when gay neighborhoods were filled with guys who were very clearly dying, a time when weekends began and ended with memorial services—gay and bi men pretty much refused to wear condoms for oral sex en masse. Guys did a risk/reward analysis where blowjobs were concerned and most concluded the comparatively low and longterm risk of contracting HIV through oral sex was worth the real and immediate reward of latex-free blowjobs.

If guys weren't using condoms for oral sex then, BLOWS, you're gonna be hard-pressed to find guys who'll use condoms for oral sex now—despite all the other nasty shit out there, most of which can be contracted and spread orally.

But if condoms are a must for you—and I respect your choice (I was one of the few guys using condoms for oral sex in the 1990s)—you might wanna get off Craigslist and Grindr. Instead of looking for cock on sites/apps where guys seek random/anonymous hookups, BLOW, you'll have a better chance finding a guy who'll wear a condom for oral if you hook up with a guy you know or with a guy you've rented, i.e. make a friend or hire a sex worker.