If elected, Donald Trump would be the first president of the United States with Vienna sausages for fingers.
Are you eligible to run for president in the US if your fingers are from Vienna? a katz / Shutterstock.com

Sure, watching Donald Trump spew his hate firehose all over the stage during the GOP debates makes every thinking person angry, but once the anger subsides the only thing that remains is a great sensation of emptiness. I don't know about you, but I choose to fill that emptiness with fatty snack foods. Luckily, several food purveyors are hocking all kinds of presidential-candidate-themed snacks.

In anticipation of Trump's rally at University of Illinois at Chicago today, The Weiner's Circle is offering a three-inch hotdog that they're calling a "Trump Footlong."


Back in January, Ben & Jerry's introduced Bernie's Yearning, a pint of mint ice cream capped with a chocolate disk. This sweet set-up radiates with metaphorical meaning, but the main idea is that the consumer must redistribute the wealth of chocolate at the top among the minty homogeneity below.


Both sound great, but I only want to live a superlative life. I want to know which snack is THE BEST snack.

Time for a scientific Slog poll: