CAMP DEATH

Watch Blood Squad, Seattle's oldest and most prestigious slasher-themed improv group, act their way through Camp Death, a summer-camp spoof that makes me sad I was never a Girl Scout. This should not be confused with Death Cramp, the terrifying menstrual musical performed by Blood Wad. I was confused at first, but this one sounds better. Chop Suey, 9 pm, $10, 21+.

TRIUMPH AND TRAGEDY OPEN MIC

The Crescent's weekly comedy night, Triumph and Tragedy, is not your typical, supportive open mic. Instead, every performance is a verbal cage match between comedians and drunks—and the drunks almost always win. Amateur comedians get three minutes to shout jokes at a roomful of grizzled alcoholics and tart queens who, for their part, don't give a fuck about comedy (but are surprisingly boisterous hecklers). The result is exquisite: The triumphant are rewarded with free drinks and $20 tips from certain audience members. Everyone else is heckled into oblivion by hilarious drunks. Crescent Tavern, 7 pm, free, 21+.