Last fall I posted an ad on the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist. My galpal had gone thru with a successful hookup, I had just broken up with someone, I was lonely and horny and she suggested I try it. I received hundreds of creepy responses, and none seemed all that appealing. One guy responded very cryptically and I replied to him out of curiosity and tons of emailing back and forth ensued, and before you know it we met for dinner. We had instant chemistry and hooked up (safely of course). We started meeting regularly. Soon we were hanging out as friends and getting to know eachother on top of having sex. I would still browse the Craigslist ads for fun and I continued to see ads that were clearly his, and it sort of hurt me, but we did not have serious intentions and communicated this to eachother, so I held my tongue.

A few months pass and now we are clearly dating. I figure out thru looking him up online that he has lied to me about his age and his name as well. When I asked him about it, he broke down and said he lied with everyone he hooked up with (I guess he had a summer of hooking up on CL prior to meeting me), to protect his anonymity. He didn't think he would get to know me and like me as well as he did, and he said he struggled to figure out how to tell me, but couldn't swallow his pride to do it.

Then he lied to me about a few other things, such as not telling his best friend I existed and it was clearly obvious based on what he was saying to me she was in love with him, I gave him an ultimatum that if he was serious about being with me, to tell her about me, and when he did, she got all upset because... whaddaya know... she was in love with him! Then he went to England to visit his family, and when he was there, I checked UK Craigslist and... whaddaya know... he had an ad up. I confronted him about this and said if he messes up one more time I am dumping him forever. Again, if he's serious about being with me, no more trying to hook up.

The rest of LHIH's insanely long letter—and my remarkably short response—after the jump.

I love the podcast and column and just saw you live at UBC this weekend. Loved the part about how girls come on guys' faces all the time during oral—laughed about that all night.

Anyway, I do have a question for you: I'm a hetero girl in my 20s. I love masturbating and find myself really good at it, but a lot of the time, I get nothing from hetero porn. Usually, it's because I can't stand the girls' annoying voices. So, I rely on gay porn instead, even when I'm reading erotica. I tend to go for what you gay guys call "twinks." (Who the hell is a "twink," technically speaking? Please don't tell me it's anything statuatory!) I'm not really concerned, I'm just curious: is this a common problem? I now get really intrigued when I meet gay guys in real life because I get off to so many gay men in porn. I would love to watch two twinks in reality at some point, but I'm not sure if any gay guys would ever be into that.

Twink Lover

P.S. Is your last name really Savage?

My response after the jump....

I met a guy about two months ago through weird and serendipitous circumstances on my last visit back home to Tucson and he's great in so many ways. We get along really well, have a lot of common interests, his friends and family that I've met so far I like and they like me. It gets cuter: we're both musicians and we make beautiful music together and have played two shows together. I kind of gave up hope on sharing any of my kinky proclivities with new guys I meet so as not to scare them off (electricity, needles, knives), but he's down and even has some kinks of his own that I haven't tried but think I could get into (watersports). I had given up my dream on getting to peg someone that I was really attracted to... and this guy is down... and it's awesome. I really love giving head, and he really loves eating snatch and I never knew 69 to be so good. We're GGG sluts for each other.

This is where the sad part comes into play: he's the most severe alcoholic I've ever met. He's really young (22, I'm 25), but he's in so deep with alcoholism that he has the DTs on a regular basis.

The rest of TSO's long letter—and my short response—after the jump.

Hello. I'm 16, almost 17, and I'm a gay boy. I'm cool with it, though I'm sort of in the closet right now. I don't think I "look" gay, people don't ask, and I don't go telling. My mom knows, sort of, hope that counts as being out even if my dad doesn't (they don't live together). My problem is this: My penis is bent. It's been like that since I can remember, maybe since I was 5. Somehow I didn't really notice until I was in 7th grade, which is about the same time I really realized I was gay.

I've had more ups and downs thinking about my penis than thinking about being gay. I never picture my own penis in sexual fantasies, for instance; and for a long time I tried to switch the hand I used to masturbate so that it might "even things up." It didn't work and I don't think it was meant to work, since my penis has been like that from before I began masturbate; then again, when I was 6 or 7 a cousin masturbated me a few times. I used to think he might have bent it, and hated him for that, but now I think that's not possible. My penis was bent before.

It's not circumcised, I don't have phimosis (yeah, I know what that is). It's bent downwards and it has the shape of a banana. You can't really tell when it's not hard, but when it is, it's obvious.

The rest of BENTT's letter—and my response and an assist from a similarly equipped dude—after the jump.

I'm a pretty regular reader of your column, and this week I was looking through the archives for things I'd missed. Two columns prompted me to write and thank you for helping me navigate a difficult situation. The first was a letter from a sex-deprived man essentially begging you for permission to cheat on his wife. He used the acronym LDS, which is of course an immediate indication that he, like me, belongs to that gay-bashing, magic-underwear wearing religion based in Utah. The other was the two-part column on sappy endings, wherein you showed that two people with very different sexual interests can make things work and be happy. ["Sappy Endings," February 15, 2007; "Sappy Endings II," February 22, 2007.]

Lest you misunderstand, I spent 40 years as a participating, card-carrying, self-loathing Mormon, complete with the creepy underwear thing. I'm now 45 and have been out of the church for 5 years, though out of respect for my wife's wishes I haven't formally resigned my church membership. All during those years I suppressed my sexuality to a ridiculous degree. Mormons are terribly sexophobic, with one "prophet" telling us that masturbation inevitably leads to homosexuality. And of course it was a Mormon bishop who explained to me what masturbation was when I was 12 (they don't think twice about having a grown man regularly interviewing young boys and girls behind closed doors about their sexual habits). Needless to say, I grew up with some terrible sexual hangups and fears.

The rest of TFE's letter—and another nice thank-you note that arrived in the mail today—after the jump.

Joe Newton has been doing charming, hilarious, creepy, and sometimes charmingly hilarious and creepy illustrations—or are they hilariously creepy and charming illustrations?—for "Savage Love" in the Stranger for years now. Joe recently created an online archive of all of his "Savage Love" illos, with links back to the original columns, which you can see here. Joe's tiny "Savage Love" illos are beautiful but readers who take the time to examine them closely will be rewarded: a Joe Newton illo almost always include a sly joke, a visual pun, or Joe's own subtle commentary about the people and problems that appear in "Savage Love." More of Joe's work can be found here.

I wanted to thank you for your extraordinarily sensitive response on the "Savage Lovecast" to the caller who had lost two pregnancies with his wife. My husband and I married in 2004 and had two miscarriages in 2005 and one in 2006 (including two like the caller's second, which had to be surgically removed several days after finding out), and I can completely relate to the wife's fear of sex and terror over such a thing happening again. I'd like to urge that couple to ask their OB/GYN to refer them to a counselor specializing in pregnancy loss and all the body/mind issues that go along with it, and perhaps to seek out an RE (reproductive endocrinologist) who can help them optimize their chances for a healthy pregnancy when they're ready to explore that again.

The loss of a wanted child is devastating and happens to people from all walks of life. I've made a list at in-their-honor.blogspot.com of famous people who've gone through it. Add to that list every "regular person" and it's mind-boggling. If that caller talks to people I'm certain he'll find people in his own family, office, circle of friends who have been there and lived to tell. I am happy to report that our daughter will be two years old next month—but because of all the trauma associated with my pregnancies I refuse to get pregnant again.

Thanks for your wonderful service. Love your books and column and especially your show; I wish I could live in Seattle, just to chance running into you at the grocery store or something.

E.

Thanks for sharing, E., and best wishes to your daughter on her birthday.

I'm a 44-year-old single father and my 18-year-old son lives at home with me. We get along great and i love him dearly. I work nights and usually get home around 6:30 a.m. Long story short, I came home one morning last week to find my son passed out on the couch with his pants pulled down and a transexual porn DVD on the TV. I was a little shocked but I thought it best to just let him sleep and deal with it later. At dinner that night when I asked him why he was watching transexual porn his face turned white and he fumbled through the excuse that he didn't realize that he bought "tranny porn" and fell asleep before he could get up and turn it off. I didn't push the issue but I am highly skeptical as the DVD case was covered with nothing but transexuals. Excuse my ignorance, but is it safe to say my son is gay? He's had many girlfriends and I've never seen or felt anything that would lead me to believe that he likes men. Are transexuals even considered "men"? Should I try to get him to open up about his feelings or leave him alone? Whatever he is into will never change my love for him but I am unsure how to open up dialogue with him at this point.

A Confused Dad

My response after the jump...

I should tell you right away that I am a big fan of your column. I write this now only because you have raised my standards through years of entertaining, informative and honest answers: your advice to HORNYO this week was weak.

Wouldn't you think that HORNYO, after 19 years of marriage, has already made "a good-faith effort to undo the damage and, perhaps, restore the sexual aspect of [his] marriage" before thinking to blow his head off? He must have. You are avoiding the question: the man is asking your permission to deceive his wife and have sex with others. And you give him your permission. And that's fine. It's a moral judgment call and people trust your judgment. But you could have advised the man better by explicitly pointing out the deception and the trade-off he makes: he's trading away an honest relationship for an active sex.

Incidentally, why do you frequently recommend that people in an non-abusive but sex-deprived marriages deceive each other and look for sex elsewhere? Wouldn't it be better if they split up? Where are abusive relationships are concerned you recommend that people DTMFA. Why not in cases like HORNYO's? Why advise people to live with hypocrisy? Are kids or a nice shared house a good reason? This is an honest question.

Keep Exploring Emotional Problems, Inspired Therefore Unashamed Pundit

My response after the jump...

First of all, I love your show, and I rarely disagree with your advice. Keep it up. As regards to the advice you gave to the woman on the podcast who is ambivalent about having children, however, I think you missed the boat.

The fact that she is worried that her personality might make her a bad mother suggests to me that she would make a better mother than people who have babies by accident left and right. I would have told her to have a kid—and then remind yourself every day not to be a shitty mother. If she doesn't have a kid, she will almost certainly regret it later, when she is older. She will grow out of her fun-loving, flighty personality, like most people over 30 do, but she will also lose her fertility and will run a higher risk of having a kid with developmental difficulties if she waits till she is 45. And, hell, if she changes her mind while she is pregnant, she can give it up for adoption, maybe even to a gay couple.

In my humble opinion, you are also not in any position to comment on the kid vs. dog issue. You are not a dog person, as you have said and written multiple times, so you do not understand the bond that people
have with their dogs. I have a dog, and I have never, and will never consider putting her to sleep—except if there was a really serious medical problem, but I'd do the same to a person. I devote a lot more care to my dog than my sister gave her kid when she had one—unplanned, of course—at age 17. On that note, I think this woman would make a far better mother than Bristol Palin. Don't you agree?

Anonymous Dog & Kid Lover

You're setting the bar awfully low, AD&KL, but agreed.

We can do better than a picture: I've posted an XTube video—NSFYW—after the jump. Click through and you'll see that it's not an actual milking machine from a dairy, but a sort of automated male masturbation device. They're popular with SMers—they're popular with wealthy SMers (these things are expensive)—because they're dehumanizing, because you can "set it and forget it," and because the thing won't stop milking the boy after he comes and that, I'm told, is unpleasant in the extreme. And being unpleasant is the whole point. See for yourself after the jump...

You answered my letter in your daily "Savage Love" last week. I'm the 22-year-old gay man with the 33-year-old boyfriend who called me a whore after I let a friend of his tie me up at a dungeon party that my boyfriend took me to on Halloween. ("First Time Bondage Experience Gone Wrong.") You told me to break up with him but I didn't have a chance. One of the hosts of the party—the one who tied me up—saw my letter on your website and sent an angry email to my boyfriend and told him that he was being an asshole. Then my boyfriend called and screamed at me and broke up with me. So it's over and I didn't have to end it. You did. But I'm not upset! I'm just writing now to tell you that I was going to take your advice but my boyfriend beat me to it. (And that gay guys with dungeons in their houses in upstate New York are reading Slog. I read your column and Slog because I grew up in Bellevue, Washington.)

There's a silver lining: I'm going back to my ex-boyfriend's ex-friend's house this weekend. I'm not really physically attracted to him—you don't have to delete this detail if use this letter because I told him upfront—but I like him and I want to get tied up again. So we have a date-for-bondage but not a date-for-romance. I did agree to be naked this time and I'm going to be there all weekend and I agreed to let the guy with the dungeon hook me up to a milking machine to make me come and I'm going to spend Saturday night sleeping in a cage. I'm nervous! And excited! And single!

And I will send you some pictures as a thank-you!

Second Time Bondage Experience Will Hopefully Go Much Better

I am a male 20-year-old college student and I have a dilemma on my hands. In order for you to make an informed response to this question you have to know a little history first.

Almost 3 and a half years ago I met someone on the Internet whom I immediately befriended because of our knack of conversing for hours. After about a year of talking on and off we started to become more serious in our conversations. This eventually developed into a relationship, the best I have ever had. I have never been more emotionally satisfied with a relationship before or sense. The only problem was, she lived in Nevada and I in Pennsylvania. After trying to do a long term relationship for a few months, she made it clear she could not be in the relationship any longer because she needed the physical side of the relationship also. I knew this was for the best but it hurt nonetheless.

About 3 months after this break up I found a new significant other who I am still with. The relationship I am in now is great, emotionally, intellectually, and sexually. I could not be happier. But I have started talking again to the ex. She has recently moved and has her own apartment now and I now have the funds to finally open the door to actually meet her in person. We have been discussing a trip because we have wanted to meet for many years but have never had the chance. This creates many problems. My ex and I have discussed how if we were able to meet face-to-face, something will happen. We both still have feelings for each other and we may get overwhelmed given the excitement of actually seeing each other. Hooking up seems like an inevitability.

The rest of the question—and my response—after the jump.

I’m a young woman in a committed relationship with my longtime boyfriend, a handsome and VERY well-endowed man. His penis is more than satisfying, but it’s never gotten me off. I only climax when he performs oral on me. I feel guilty because when we make love, I wait for him to finish (and some times even encourage him to cum faster) so he can go down on me and I can climax, too. I can’t cum first because after I do, I don’t like to be touched and then we can’t have intercourse. Any suggestions? I feel guilty for being impatient when he’s doing his thing.

Prefer Oral Over Penis

My answer after the jump...

Usually I agree with most of the advice you dispense. But your advice to ACLU—a caring loving uncle—was questionable. I'm a criminal defense lawyer and had a case where a father was driving down the street in his van and noticed the young man who had had sex with his daughter. Pulling over and jumping out he proceeded to confront and get whacked with a folding metal sign by the young man and his friend, and when the police arrived they arrested the father. Threatening or inflicting violence is a crime that can get a person arrested. If your readers do get arrested, remember the Fifth Amendment right to say nothing, and that anything you say to the police can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Lawyers Always Worry

Re: the dominant women who likes getting her boyfriend fat. Since the woman is a fitness nut, she probably already knows this, but the advice you gave her is actually quite bad for the guy's health. Being a little overweight isn't that unhealthy, but having a fluctuating weight (yoyo dieting) is much worse for you. She's better off getting him moderately overweight and then stopping.

Big Mistake

Another letter and my responses to al three after the jump...

I'm a 22-year-old bi guy with a preference for males. My last relationship was with a female with whom I've stayed friends. Since we broke up we've been hooking up maybe once a month. The first two times she said she didn't want to hook up anymore, but she kept initiating sex. I like sex, so I went along with it. This continued after she started seeing someone (I didn't know at first) and she felt guilty the first time, but then seemed okay with it: I assumed that she had discussed it with her bisexual BF. She invited me to engage in a threesome with her and her BF, and thereafter I was fucking both her and him independently of each other every two weeks, which my ex thought was sexy. The sex continued to be initiated by both of them, not me, although I wanted it. Soon, my ex's BF encouraged me to pursue a romantic relationship with him, with his current GF, my ex, having primacy. I assumed that he had okayed it with his GF. It didn't take long to realize that he was incapable of having two relationships at once and he stopped fucking me because he was afraid of "using" me, even though it was consensual. My ex also stopped having sex with me (although the BF had okayed the sex) and began to ignore me as a friend.

The rest of the letter and my response after the jump...

I went to a dungeon party with my boyfriend on Halloween. We are gay and I'm 22 and my boyfriend of six months is a little older (33). The party was at the house of some older friends of his who are pretty kinky. They would have to be since they have a dungeon in their house, right? There was a lot of bondage stuff and cages but people were just standing around drinking. Then one of the party's hosts asked me if I wanted to get tied up. I turned to my boyfriend and asked if that was alright with him. He shrugged in what looked like a friendly way—he smiled at his friend—and said, "Whatever you want." So to be a good sport and in the spirit of the party I let this guy tie me up. I spent less than ninety minutes tied up. I was hogtied on the floor in my underwear for thirty minutes then tied to the wall for maybe an hour. There was no kissing or sex or anything with this other guy. He was a perfect gentleman. He just tied up for a while then untied me and he didn't let anyone touch me while I was tied up.

When we left the party my boyfriend exploded. He said he was shocked and angry that I would have sex in public like that! It wasn't sex, I said, since nothing happened. "You got a hardon!" he screamed. I apologized and tried to explain that I only got hard because I was showing off for him and that felt sexy to me. I thought he wanted his kinky friends to know that he was dating someone who was hot and fun and game for anything. He said that his friends all think he's dating some young whore now.

We haven't spoken since Saturday night. What do I do? How do I convince him that I didn't know he'd be so upset? Help!

First Time Bondage Experience Gone Wrong

No need to jump this response as it's going to be brief: Your boyfriend is an asshole and the wrong kind of sadist, FTBEGW. He gave you the okay to get tied up because he wanted to spend the rest of the night beating you up about it and making you feel awful. He enjoyed making you feel terrible and guilty and ashamed because he's an emotionally sadistic, manipulative, controlling piece of shit. DTMFY.*

* dump the motherfucker yesterday.

I read your column all the time and I'm hoping you could help me with something. I'm a straight 16-year-old female and I like porn. But for some reason I really enjoy watching Girl-On-Girl or a Girl-With-Toys. If there is a guy in it I find myself looking at the girl. I have no sexual desire for women when I'm not watching porn and I have all the normal teen girl fantasies about boys. But I do remember when I was around eight experimenting sexually with a neighbor (also a girl, also around eight). Does watching lesbian and/or bi porn have something to do with processing that experience or am I a lesbian and don't know it yet? I'm seriously trying to figure this out.

Very Confused

If you read about or see certain kinky things & get turned on does that mean you'll like doing it when you have sex & try it or not necessarily & you just have to try it?

How many partners recommended before marriage?

Is it considered weird nowadays to be a virgin in your 20s?

What do you, from your personal experience, think it will take for Americans to relax their attitudes toward sex?

I'm trying to have sex with this dude tonight for the sole purpose of feeling better about myself and getting over my ex. I'm not really attracted to him in any way. Any suggestions on how to make it enjoyable and fun?

I bought a butt plug and it smelled like blueberries. Is this just a sign of cheapness or will it give my BF some heinous anal disease?

Did you get the cheesesteak?

Which is more pleasurable: anal sex or vaginal?

Some of my answers: It sounds like you want to try "it" whatever "it" is; 673; not weird, risky; a complete Southectomy; do it with someone else; put a condom on it and it won't matter what it's made out of or smells like; no; is this some sort of trick question?

I'm a 26-year-old gay guy who's been in a relationship for almost 7 years. When the BF and I first hooked up, neither of us had ever been with anyone sexually before; therefore, we had unprotected sex all the time (because we knew that we weren't going to catch anything). However, a few months into the relationship the BF got a nasty UTI, and we decided to start using condoms for hygiene/cleanliness reasons (let's be real: if the genesis of the word "santorum" has taught us anything, it's that sometimes anal sex involves fecal matter). Fast forward 6 years, and all the gay guys we've talked to about this stuff are baffled that after almost 7 years, we still use condoms with each other. Well, the BF and I are both uncircumcised and the truth is, sex doesn't feel any different with a condom for us. We started using condoms way back when for easy cleanup and to avoid UTI's, but neither one of us ever noticed the sex feeling worse, or even different. Therefore, I have never even once been tempted to have unprotected sex (when we have threeways and whatnot), because it's going to feel the same anyway; why subject myself to the risks?

Anyway, my real question is this: do circumcised guys generally find unprotected sex to be more enjoyable? This has been the case in my informal surveys. And if so, do you think circumcising boys may have the unintended consequence of creating men much more likely to have unprotected sex? I know I've read articles about studies saying that having foreskin may increase the likelihood of contracting HIV (something about the infected fluids being trapped under the skin and making it easier for the infection to be transmitted), but I've never read anything about circumcision making guys want to bareback, even though logically, that seems to be the case. What do you think? Does foreskin promote condom use?

Uncircumcised Never Could Understand riskTakers

P.S. I want to thank you for the work you do and specifically thank you for helping me to become a sexually well-rounded adult. You will never know the lives (and other things) that you've touched, and the all the good you've done. Since I can think of no other way to thank you, I'm attaching a picture of my dick. Feel free to share with your readers or keep it to yourself.

I'm not aware of any studies that break down protected vs. bareback preferences by circumcision status, UNCUT, but I'll ask the Kinsey Institute folks when I see them tonight. Your theory does make some intuitive sense: being circumcised decreases sensitivity, as it leaves the glans of the penis constantly exposed, and anything else that further decreased sensitivity—like, say, wearing a condom—might make it more difficult for a cut guy wearing a condom to come. I suppose. But I've heard from plenty of uncut guys who prefer bareback sex, UNCUT, and I suspect you may be universalizing your experience. And let's not hand any more excuses to cut guys who like to bareback with random and/or anonymous partners. They've come up with reams of rationalizations on their own and don't need any help minting new ones.

Oh, and thanks for the pic, UNCUT. It's... um... really something. I would keep it to myself but your dick is definitely something that many of my readers would enjoy having their lives—and others things—touched by.

UNCUT's not-safe-for-your-work picture is after the jump.

Long-time reader, first-time writer. I applaud everything about your column and blog and really appreciate your point of view. Now, to the point. I'm a mom of an almost 13 year-old girl. Her birthday is coming up and we have a movie/sleepover night planned with several of her friends. However, today, after her dad noticed an abnormal amount of texting going on, I checked her text log, and discovered a series of messages between her and one of the girls she has invited. Apparently they have come to the realization that they both "like" like each other (to use their words) and want to try dating. We're not opposed to this in theory; she seems like a nice girl, and we have always told our kids from early on that sexual orientation is something they can't control and should never be ashamed of. However, in practice, this presents a problem. Liberal as I am, I have to draw the line at sleepovers with someone my daughter is dating, girl or boy. It's just inappropriate at this age... and will be for a while to come. My problem, though, is that I want to address the issue without causing hurt feelings or sending mixed messages to my daughter. I don't want to un-invite the object of her affections, but I can't in good conscience let the two of them—even with other girls present—share a bed. But it somehow seems like I'm punishing the girls for having feelings for each other—feelings which I in no way have a problem with, feelings that I am more than happy to support my daughter in exploring. I'd be happy to have her girlfriend come over after school and hang out—with a lot of supervision—the same as I've done with boyfriends my daughter has had.

The rest of the letter—and my response—after the jump.

STOP DOING THE DEVIL'S WORK! STOP BEING A TOOL OF SATAN! GO AND SIN NO MORE!

I saw your advice column and the "advice" that you gave is so SATANIC it is EVIL unadulterated. I know you may think it is a joke, but if you don't REPENT to the LORD JESUS CHRIST and ask him to take away the "stony heart" and "wash your mind" and "sanctify your soul" and "regenerate your spirit" you truly will spend ETERNITY with your CURRENT MASTER SATAN. It is NOT because Jesus Christ does NOT love you... He made a WAY OUT OF NO WAY so that you do not have to reap the damnation of HELL or give SERVITUDE to your "ADVERSARY THE DEVIL." YOU ARE BLIND. AND, JESUS CHRIST WANTS YOU TO ***SEE***. You may Laugh now. But, I weep. I'm crying on the inside for you. You don't even realize you are spreading WICKEDNESS.

Hello Dan, Mr. Savage, Sir, or your Holiness if you prefer. First things first; long time reader, first time e-mailer. I saw a hypothetical a few weeks ago and thought that I would try one as well. Sorry it took so long but I am guilty of procrasturbation; see if it appears in your column it will catch on. Now for my inquiry: Let' say that my current partner is interested in necrophilia (I know you are against it, but bear with me), and I have lung cancer from smoking (a disgusting habit). As a final "I Love You" before I die—and to be GGG—I leave my body to him or her in my will. If my partner were to use my corpse to satisfy his or her curiosity, would that be wrong? After all I gave my consent in my will.

Solving This Inquiry From Fan

My answer—including a call for legal advice—is after the jump...

Hi, Dan. I recently discussed some concerns I had about a potential BDSM play encounter with my professor/friend, and she called in to you at your podcast and you called her back and left a message for me on her voicemail (it's in Episode 157). She had me listen to the message that you left her that day. I wanted to let you know that I really did appreciate the advice that you gave. I had already seen the guy in question, though. Luckily everything turned out fine and I am okay, but I acknowledge that I was acting reckless, with little reguard for my safety, and it was a dumb thing to do. Since listening to your message, I have been researching safe BDSM groups in my area so that I can learn safe practices. Thank you again.

Naive Young Sub

How did it go? Did you have sex with this guy? Did he do that "fear play" stuff with you? Glad you lived.

Dan

NYS's response—and a letter from the "fear-play" top she met up with—are after the jump.

UPDATE: The "fear-play" top responds at greater length—also after the jump.