http://slog.thestranger.com/blogs/slog/ Seattle's #1 Weekly Newspaper. Covering Seattle news, politics, music, film, and arts; plus movie times, club calendars, restaurant listings, forums, blogs, and Savage Love. en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. editor@thestranger.com (The Stranger Editor) webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Sun, 26 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Sun, 26 May 2013 01:45:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/everything-wrong-with-television-in-one-handy-chart http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/everything-wrong-with-television-in-one-handy-chart Paul Constant <p><a href="http://www.vulture.com/2013/05/201213-tv-season-in-one-depressing-chart.html">The Vulture has composed an alarming chart </a>showing how many network television shows have taken hits in the ratings over the 2012/2013 season. </p> <blockquote><p>The vast majority of the nearly 90 series that had their second or higher season on ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, and the CW lost ground among adults under 50...<strong>more than 50 series declined by double digits</strong>, nearly 30 fell by 20 percent or more, roughly a dozen gave back a quarter or more of their young audience, and an unlucky seven saw their ratings collapse by at least one-third.</p></blockquote> <p>It's not all bad news: A few shows like <em>Supernatural</em>, <em>Grimm</em>, and <em>The Big Bang Theory</em> actually gained viewers. Wait, the <em>Big Bang Theory </em>gaining additional viewers is bad news, too, isn't it? Anyway, <strong>network television seriously needs to change their model</strong> before the bottom drops completely out. I suspect that cable is going to have to do the same thing soon.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/everything-wrong-with-television-in-one-handy-chart#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16864804&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/everything-wrong-with-television-in-one-handy-chart?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16864804&id=comments 37 Fri, 24 May 2013 12:27:34 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/arrested-godfather http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/arrested-godfather David Schmader <p>Mitchell Hurwitz's masterwork meets Francis Ford Coppola's masterwork, courtesy of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/Slacktory?feature=watch">Slacktory</a>.</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/xkhp19kMl0w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/arrested-godfather#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16863997&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV Film Teh Internets http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/24/arrested-godfather?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16863997&id=comments 1 Fri, 24 May 2013 10:17:09 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/23/bill-wixey-puts-morgan-freeman-to-sleep http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/23/bill-wixey-puts-morgan-freeman-to-sleep Grant Brissey <p><em>Whoops! Auto-play. After the jump, feel free to witnesseth the Lord Our God Morgan Freeman taking a nap on the teevee. -Eds</em></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe src="http://embed.newsinc.com/Single/iframe.html?WID=1&VID=24836501&freewheel=69016&sitesection=kcpq_thismorning&width=601&height=338" height="300" width="500" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0"></iframe></div></p> <p><small>h/t: Travis R!</small></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/23/bill-wixey-puts-morgan-freeman-to-sleep#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16848794&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/23/bill-wixey-puts-morgan-freeman-to-sleep?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16848794&id=comments 8 Thu, 23 May 2013 10:25:57 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/22/i-love-television-guys-typing-is-hard http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/22/i-love-television-guys-typing-is-hard Wm. Steven Humphrey <p>Every day, someone tells me, "Wm.&#8482; Steven Hump-Me? You got it EEEEEEEASY. All you do is <b>sit around on your spectacular honey-baked ham</b> and watch TV! I call that EEEEEEEASY." Well, it's not so EEEEEEEASY! I thought this TV-criticizing gig would be the EEEEEEEASiest job in the world&#8212;until I discovered there's a considerable amount of typing involved! As it turns out, the <b>pearls of wisdom shooting from my mouth</b> don't automatically land on the page&#8212;unless, we're talking about my <i>other</i> "pearls of wisdom." I actually have to type them or hire an intern to type them for me. Not easy when all I have to offer for payment are "pearls of wisdom." (I'll let you guess which "pearls" I'm talking about.)</p> <p>Typing is especially <b>a "p" in the "a"</b> when it comes to television stuff. For example, the ABC show starring Sarah Chalke called <i>How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life)</i>. That took me, like, 10 minutes to type! And I had to look up how to spell Sarah Chalke's name! Fuck YOU, Sarah Chalke! And fuck <i>How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life),</i> too!</p> <p>HOWEVER! Since <i>How to Live with Your</i> <i>Parents (for the Rest of Your Life)</i>&#8212;<br />UGGNNHHH!&#8212;just got canceled, I should be happy I never have to type <i>How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life)</i> again, right? Well, I'M NOT. Because just after ABC said it canceled <i>How to Live with Your Parents (for the Rest of Your Life)</i>, it announced it's picking up Joss Whedon's <i>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.</i>&#8212;which just took me <i>20</i> minutes to type! Not only did I have to look up Joss Whedon's name (Fuck YOU, Joss Whedon and your <b>hard-to-spell "special snowflake" name</b>!), but the constant CAP LETTER PERIOD CAP LETTER PERIOD CAP LETTER PERIOD DRIVES ME <i>INSAAAAAAAANE!!</i> (Fuck YOU, too, <i>M*A*S*H</i>!)</p> <p><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/i-love-television/Content?oid=16837362"><u>Continue reading (and see what's on TV this week!) &#187;</u></a></p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/22/i-love-television-guys-typing-is-hard?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16843805&id=comments 0 Wed, 22 May 2013 11:20:00 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/20/i-will-never-waste-an-opportunity-to-post-the-cartton-video-for-angie-baby http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/20/i-will-never-waste-an-opportunity-to-post-the-cartton-video-for-angie-baby David Schmader <p>And recent days gave me a good but sad one, as this past Friday, <strong>Alan O'Day</strong>, the songwriter who created "Angie Baby" (as well as the #1 hit "Undercover Angel" and the hilariously titled album <em><strong>Caress Me Pretty Music</strong></em>) passed away at age 72. Here's the cartoon video that was made of his career-defining song, which was broadcast on <em>The Sonny and Cher Show</em>. Also, today is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cher">Cher's birthday</a>. Anyway, please enjoy the cartoon "Angie Baby." (And if you need more Angie, don't miss this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg9U-jQjYlU">great live performance</a> and this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuNYEUYtD8c">unnerving computer animation</a>.)</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JeAcjRLLjnw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>RIP, <a href="http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-0520-passings1-20130520,0,3271010.story">Alan O'Day</a>.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/20/i-will-never-waste-an-opportunity-to-post-the-cartton-video-for-angie-baby#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16824214&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Death Music TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/20/i-will-never-waste-an-opportunity-to-post-the-cartton-video-for-angie-baby?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16824214&id=comments 8 Mon, 20 May 2013 13:42:10 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/which-fox-tv-series-looks-worse http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/which-fox-tv-series-looks-worse Paul Constant <p><a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/good-morning-television">This morning, our pal Humpy told us </a>about the seven trailers for upcoming new Fox shows. Just about <a href="http://www.deadline.com/2013/05/fox-trailers-new-series-2013/">all of those trailers are terrible</a>. The only one that personally interests me,<em> Almost Human</em>, is basically <em>Alien Nation</em> with robots. But two of the trailers are <strong>exceptionally bad</strong>. Here's fish-out-of-water supernatural fairy tale cop show <em>Sleepy Hollow</em>:</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="281" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oFOEzR9zgUo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>And here's the Seth MacFarlane-produced white-dudes-behaving-badly sitcom <em>Dads</em>:</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="281" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0F4pEfZDl0k" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>They're both <em>so bad</em>, in such different ways, that <strong>I can't tell which is worse</strong>. Can you?</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/which-fox-tv-series-looks-worse#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16764013&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/which-fox-tv-series-looks-worse?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16764013&id=comments 35 Tue, 14 May 2013 13:56:55 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/good-morning-television http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/good-morning-television Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>After 8 years, <em>SNL</em> regular <strong>Bill Hader</strong>&#8212;best known perhaps as the heeeeeelarious Stefon&#8212;<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/15/arts/television/bill-hader-to-leave-saturday-night-live.html?smid=tw-nytimesarts&seid=auto&_r=0">is leaving the show.</a> Fine, but don't take Stefon with you!</p> <p>Adult Swim is returning with another <a href="http://www.youtube.com/show/thegreatesteventintelevisionhistory"><i>Greatest Event in Television History</i></a> (last year's was an exact recreation of the opening credits of <em>Simon &amp; Simon</em>, starring Adam Scott and Jon Hamm), this time Scott and <em>Parks &amp; Rec </em>co-star <strong>Amy Poehler</strong> <a href="http://www.tvguide.com/News/Hart-to-Hart-Poehler-Scott-1065615.aspx">will recreate the classic romantic detective series <i>Hart to Hart</i>!</a> (This "greatest event" will surely be the "greatest event" ever!)</p> <p>In <strong><i>Parks &amp; Rec </i></strong>related news... here's <a href="http://imgur.com/ols1vsX">"Tron Swanson."</a></p> <p><a href="http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/05/13/weekend-update-host-saturday-night-live-seth-meyers-john-mulaney/">Popwatch </a>asks the question, "<strong>Who should replace Seth Meyers </strong>at the <em>SNL</em> "Weekend Update" desk?" They say John Mulaney&#8212;who is ohhhhhhhkay, but I say, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtZjv0aemOQ">Anthony Jeselnek! </a>WHAT DO YOU SAY?</p> <p>R.I.P. famed TV psychologist <strong>Dr. Joyce Brothers</strong>&#8212;<a href="http://www.eonline.com/news/418369/dr-joyce-brothers-dead-tv-psychologist-and-talk-show-host-was-85">dead at age 85.</a></p> <p>Ordinarily annoyingly nice comedian <strong>Wayne Brady</strong> threatens to <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/13/wayne-brady-to-bill-maher_n_3268077.html">"beat Bill Maher's ass in public."</a> Not so nice now!</p> <p>And finally, <strong>Fox </strong>releases a whopping<a href="http://tvline.com/2013/05/13/fall-2013-fox-almost-human-video/"> SEVEN new trailers</a> for their fall shows, most notably <em>Sleepy Hollow</em>, J.J. Abrams robot cop show <em>Almost Human</em>, and Andy Samberg's police comedy <em>Brooklyn Nine-Nine</em>&#8212;which I wish was funnier! BE MORE FUNNIER.<br /><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/D1UzmW77F30" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/good-morning-television#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16762510&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/14/good-morning-television?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16762510&id=comments 12 Tue, 14 May 2013 10:54:00 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/13/tease-me-heres-that-agents-of-shield-teaser http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/13/tease-me-heres-that-agents-of-shield-teaser Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>As promised/warned, here is the first official teaser/trailer for the most awesome, yet annoying to type, show of the fall season <i>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D</i>. And it features every fanboy's current fave, Coulson. And his car! And somebody punching somebody else in the face with fire, I think? I dunno. Life moves fast when you're with the annoying to type <i>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D</i>! (That's why you should also read <a href="http://io9.com/every-single-clue-hidden-inside-the-agents-of-shield-t-504572078">io9's report</a> on "Every single clue hidden inside the <em>Agents of SHIELD</em> trailer!")</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/0yg_jaOPV_E" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/13/tease-me-heres-that-agents-of-shield-teaser#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16753397&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV Nerd http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/13/tease-me-heres-that-agents-of-shield-teaser?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16753397&id=comments 7 Mon, 13 May 2013 10:36:16 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/13/here-is-the-arrested-development-season-four-trailer http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/13/here-is-the-arrested-development-season-four-trailer Paul Constant <p>Look, I'm not watching this thing. I want to go into the fourth season of <em>Arrested Development</em> completely fresh, and I don't know why anyone would want some of the jokes telegraphed in advance. But if you want to see it, here it is:</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="281" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MfU2Td_MMf0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/13/here-is-the-arrested-development-season-four-trailer#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16753387&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/13/here-is-the-arrested-development-season-four-trailer?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16753387&id=comments 12 Mon, 13 May 2013 10:18:44 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/10/david-sedaris-on-the-daily-show http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/10/david-sedaris-on-the-daily-show Dan Savage <p><div style="background-color:#000000;width:520px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:cms:video:thedailyshow.com:426189" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe><p style="text-align:left;background-color:#FFFFFF;padding:4px;margin-top:4px;margin-bottom:0px;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><b><a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-may-9-2013/david-sedaris">The Daily Show with Jon Stewart</a></b><br/>Get More: <a href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/'>Daily Show Full Episodes</a>,<a href='http://www.comedycentral.com/indecision'>Indecision Political Humor</a>,<a href='http://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow'>The Daily Show on Facebook</a><br /></div></div></p> <p>In which you find out what Jon Stewart would do if someone served him frosting on another man's dick.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/10/david-sedaris-on-the-daily-show#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16729514&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV Books http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/10/david-sedaris-on-the-daily-show?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16729514&id=comments 21 Fri, 10 May 2013 09:41:47 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/07/let-the-tuesday-afternoon-jinkx-monsoon-fan-club-once-again-commence http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/07/let-the-tuesday-afternoon-jinkx-monsoon-fan-club-once-again-commence Christopher Frizzelle <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:videolist:logotv.com:1706878/cp~instance%3Dfullepisode%26autoPlay%3Dfalse%26id%3D1706878%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideolist%3Alogotv.com%3A1706878" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p><div style="margin:0px;padding:4px;width:500px;text-align:center;font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><a href="http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls_drag_race/season_5/series.jhtml" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">Watch RuPaul's Drag Race Full Episodes</a> - <a href="http://www.newnownext.com/personality/rupaul" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">RuPaul</a> - <a href="http://www.logotv.com/" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">Logo TV</a></div></p> <p><div style="background-color:#000000;width:520px;"><div style="padding:4px;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:video:logotv.com:906532/cp~id%3D1706933%26vid%3D906532%26instance%3Dlogo%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideo%3Alogotv.com%3A906532" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe><p style="text-align:left;background-color:#FFFFFF;padding:4px;margin-top:4px;margin-bottom:0px;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:12px;">Get More: <br /><a href="http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls_drag_race/season_5/series.jhtml" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">Watch RuPaul's Drag Race Full Episodes</a>, <a href="http://www.newnownext.com/personality/rupaul" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">RuPaul</a>, <a href="http://www.logotv.com/" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">Logo TV</a><br /></div></div></div></p> <p>Now all I want to do is go watch <em>Death Becomes Her</em> for millionth time. (<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfsvye6TTS0">"Could you just not breathe?"</a>)</p> <p>Anyway, to read about the <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/06/americas-next-drag-superstar-is">hometown reaction to this news last night at Julia's, click here.</a></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/07/let-the-tuesday-afternoon-jinkx-monsoon-fan-club-once-again-commence#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16696252&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Homo TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/07/let-the-tuesday-afternoon-jinkx-monsoon-fan-club-once-again-commence?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16696252&id=comments 10 Tue, 07 May 2013 12:00:27 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/06/americas-next-drag-superstar-is http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/06/americas-next-drag-superstar-is Christopher Frizzelle <p>...after the jump.</p> <p><small>(The episode is not online yet.)</small></p> <p><strong>WHOA!!!!!!!!</strong> WHOA WHOA WHOA!! "Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first if you don't own the internet," BenDeLaCreme bellowed a few moments ago at Julia's. <strong>"Jinkx Monsoon is America's next drag superstar!" </strong></p> <p>When RuPaul said Jinkx's name, the crowd exploded. Two expertly timed <strong>confetti canons</strong> exploded, too. People were dancing, people were hugging, people were shrieking. On TV, the coronation felt a bit rushed, almost tacked on there at the end, with barely any time given to Jinkx's reaction to the news, but at Julia's, where it was sweltering, the moment didn't come a second too soon. At the outset of the evening, BenDeLaCreme and Major Scales, pretending not to know what was going to happen, were joking: "We've exorcised Facebook from the room." And then BenDeLaCreme added, "Is there anybody here who doesn't honest-to-god know what happens tonight?" And then, to BenDeLaCreme's surprise, a bunch of not-knowers raised their hands. </p> <p>During one of the commercial breaks in the (interminable) build up to the finale, BenDeLaCreme asked Major Scales what it's like to be Jinkx Monsoon's roommate here in Seattle, and Major Scales said, "She's a ghost. <strong>Every time Jinkx comes home it's more like a cloud of smoke in the shape of her, trailed by dollar bills."</strong></p> <p>BenDeLaCreme noted that what Jinkx was wearing was <a href="http://jvonstratton.blogspot.com/">"a Lady Von Stratton original"</a>&#8212;and then Lady Von Stratton, who was in the house, stood up for a round of applause. Then it was back to sniping about Roxxxy Andrews, "the most beautiful Thundercat on <em>RuPaul's Drag Race</em>," BenDeLaCreme said acerbically. Both the hosts and the crowd said a great many not nice things about Roxxxy this evening ("Jinkx isn't here, so 'water off a duck's back' doesn't apply," said Major Scales, and BenDeLaCreme added, "Yes, we can be as bitchy as we want to be")... but who cares about Roxxxy. It was Jinkx's night. Jinkx earned this thing. Jinkx is genius. Even though Jerick Hoffer, Jinkx's creator, is only 25, he's an unbelievably gifted performer who's <strong>figured out how to be hilarious without being mean,</strong> which is no easy thing. And he's figured out how to turn his life story into art, which is even harder. And he can sing. And he can dance. And he can act. And the guy <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/the-lineup/Content?oid=15445412">put himself through art school at Cornish by being the fucking janitor.</a></p> <p><blockquote class="twitter-tweet">It's Monsoon Season. Officially.<br />&#8212; Jinkx Monsoon (@JinkxMonsoon) <a href="https://twitter.com/JinkxMonsoon/status/331606613007953920">May 7, 2013</a></blockquote><br /><script async src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script></p> <p>Condragulations, superstar.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/06/americas-next-drag-superstar-is#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16692175&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Homo TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/06/americas-next-drag-superstar-is?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16692175&id=comments 32 Mon, 06 May 2013 23:15:11 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/03/there-is-a-mr-rogers-biopic-in-the-works http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/03/there-is-a-mr-rogers-biopic-in-the-works Paul Constant <p>I'm a huge Mr. Rogers fan, and I have high hopes for<a href="http://www.deadline.com/2013/05/mr-rogers-asks-can-you-say-feature-biopic/"> this project</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>The sweater wearing children&#8217;s TV icon Fred Rogers is the subject of <em>A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood</em>, an Alexis Jolly spec script that has sold to Justin Nappi and Kevin Turen&#8217;s Treehouse Pictures.</p></blockquote> <p><a href="http://www.deadline.com/2013/05/mr-rogers-asks-can-you-say-feature-biopic/">The commenters at Deadline </a> are calling for Steve Carell, Paul Reubens, Michael Keaton, Ty Burrell, Jim Parsons, or Steve Coogan to star as Fred Rogers. Personally, I think Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be perfect for it; he's got a kind of gentle, Buddha thing going on with his smile that seems more Mr. Rogers-y than any of those other candidates.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/03/there-is-a-mr-rogers-biopic-in-the-works#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16657652&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV Film http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/05/03/there-is-a-mr-rogers-biopic-in-the-works?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16657652&id=comments 39 Fri, 03 May 2013 07:53:04 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/23/something-something-jinkx-monsoon-something-something-rupauls-drag-race http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/23/something-something-jinkx-monsoon-something-something-rupauls-drag-race Christopher Frizzelle <p>Last Tuesday's <em>Drag Race</em> post here on Slog mentioned in a celebratory headline that <strong>Jinkx Monsoon made it into the top three,</strong> and commenters were very, very not happy. So... so as not to spoil anyone's alerts, I'm not saying nada until after the jump. No, I <em>am</em> saying nada. Anyway, please do go down into the jump so we can talk about whatever it was that may or may not have happened last night! Allegedly! Also, your urgent attention is needed! I will explain.</p> <p>Plus! Jinkx Monsoon's alter-ego Jerick Hoffer was at Julia's last night, interviewed by BenDeLaCreme, and many hilarious and insightful things were said, the best of which are after the jump. See you down there.</p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:videolist:logotv.com:1706103/cp~instance%3Dfullepisode%26autoPlay%3Dfalse%26id%3D1706103%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideolist%3Alogotv.com%3A1706103" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe></div></p> <p>WHAT. THE. HELL. </p> <p>First thing's first: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/rupaulsdragrace">Go to this Facebook page and vote for Jinkx Monsoon.</a> Then go to <a href="http://worldofwonder.net/who-should-win-rupauls-drag-race/">this World of Wonder post</a> and vote there too. Then go on Twitter and send a tweet that says "@RuPaulsDragRace Jinkx Monsoon #dragrace." Among <em>Stranger</em> staff, <a href="https://twitter.com/fakedansavage/status/326561164962177024">Dan Savage has voted</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/ciennam/status/326825372702347264">Cienna Madrid has voted</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/davidschmader/status/326825709530120194">David Schmader has voted,</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/TheFrizzelle/status/326571035329708033">I have voted</a>. If you don't have Twitter, just freakin' get it already, and make Savage and Cienna and Schmader and me the first people you follow. Again, you wanna tweet "@RuPaulsDragRace Jinkx Monsoon #dragrace."</p> <p>Have you done it yet? </p> <p>You're good? </p> <p>Good.</p> <p>ANYWAY, as promised above, there was a viewing party at Julia's on Broadway last night, and even though Jinkx Monsoon could not make it, thanks to a wrinkle in time/space Jerick Hoffer could. (He had to race straight to Julia's from the airport&#8212;he's been performing around the country.) As usual, when the commercials came on, BenDeLaCreme and Jerick Hoffer got to talking. Some of what was said:</p> <p><strong>"Jinkx and I are very good friends but I've only ever seen you on TV!"</strong><br /><small>&#8212;BenDeLaCreme to Jerick Hoffer, when he came out in pants and a top hat (with bunny ears)</small></p> <p><strong>"I was so miserable."</strong><br /><small>&#8212;Jerick Hoffer on the humidity in Florida, where he just was</small></p> <p><strong>"This is Seattle bronzed. You've got that three-hours-of-sunlight glow."</strong><br /><small>&#8212;BenDeLaCreme complimenting Jerick Hoffer on a non-existent tan</small></p> <p><strong>"Alaska, Detox, and I ended up in a jacuzzi tub together. There were bubbles. Discretion bubbles."</strong><br /><small>&#8212;Jerick Hoffer on seeing his fellow drag stars recently</small></p> <p><strong>"Ke$ha delivered a very interesting performance."</strong><br /><small>&#8212;Jerick Hoffer on getting to go to the NewNowNext Awards in LA</small></p> <p><strong>"If there's one thing a person with ADD and narcolepsy shouldn't do, it's painstakingly glue things to a corset."</strong><br /><small>&#8212;Jerick Hoffer discussing his difficulty with the candy-inspired clothing challenge two episodes ago</small></p> <p><strong>"The true entertainers, who wow you&#8212;you don't care about what they're wearing. My favorite entertainers&#8212;I don't remember what they were wearing, I remember their performances."</strong><br /><small>&#8212;Jerick Hoffer on his antipathy toward clothes, sewing, fashion, etc.</small></p> <p><strong>"Do you just get Grindr messages like "Roxxxy sucks!'?"</strong><br /><small>&#8212;BenDeLaCreme asking about the loss of anonymity that comes with the visibility of a national TV show</small></p> <p><strong>"I can't pick out an onion at without someone going, 'Yeah, Jinkx, get that onion!'"</strong><br /><small>&#8212;Jerick Hoffer on what it's like to go to the grocery store these days</small></p> <p><strong>"It's weird that this nationally aired drag show of queens fighting for a crown would bring my family together, but I'll take it."</strong><br /><small>&#8212;Jerick Hoffer on members of his family who hadn't been speaking with each other who are now speaking with each other</small></p> <p>OK, now, some housekeeping: Next week's <em>RuPaul's Drag Race</em> is thought to be most likely a "clips show" looking back on everything that's happened but with a bunch of new material, including all the material that would have gone into an <em>Untucked</em> last night (as there was no <em>Untucked</em> last night). Jinkx Monsoon will not be at Julia's next week because she will be filming the reunion show, wherein all the drag queens from the season reunite and learn who the winner is. The week after that, the reunion show airs, and Jinkx Monsoon has to be in New York City for a viewing party there, so she will not be at Julia's when the reunion show airs either. BenDeLaCreme and other guests hosts will be at Julia's for the next two weeks' worth of parties though. Then, on May 13, <strong>Jinkx Monsoon will be back at Julia's</strong> for a big celebratory to-do that is sure to sell out, if it's not sold out already. Whether she wins or loses <em>Drag Race</em>, she has plenty of reason to celebrate. </p> <p>Once again: <em>Vote early! Vote often! Tell your friends!</em></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/23/something-something-jinkx-monsoon-something-something-rupauls-drag-race#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16572683&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Homo TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/23/something-something-jinkx-monsoon-something-something-rupauls-drag-race?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16572683&id=comments 31 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:09:34 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/17/the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-cocaine-one-mans-seduction http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/17/the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-cocaine-one-mans-seduction David Schmader <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:162px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/704c/1366223917-scaled.4f554315be7c3113360fcb5e993b6cbd.jpg" alt="For one VHS release, the subtitle was changed to One Mans Poison" title="For one VHS release, the subtitle was changed to One Man's Poison" width="150" height="210" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"></li><li class="imageCaption">For one VHS release, the subtitle was changed to 'One Man's Poison'</li></ul></div></p> <p>[Sniff, sniff] WHOO! Let's get this thing STARTED! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! </p> <p><em>Cocaine: One Man's Seduction</em> is the 1983 made-for-TV movie about&#8212;surprise!&#8212;a man who becomes seduced by cocaine, which proves to be a terrible mistress, forcing him to jump around all sweaty and yell at his wife. This man is played by <strong>Dennis Weaver</strong>, an actor who appeared on <em>Gunsmoke</em> (which I never watched) and also released a couple country-and-western albums (which I never heard). Nevertheless, <strong>I now love him</strong>, for he is great in this film. In the spaces between his mustache and non-whitened teeth and three-piece suit, the whole of 1983 is evoked. </p> <p>Weaver's soon-to-be-yelled-at wife is played by <strong>Karen Grassle</strong>, best known as Ma on <em>Little House on the Prairie</em>, and the couple's son Buddy is played by <strong>James Spader</strong>, in a rare non-asshole teen role. </p> <p>The film starts proving its awesomeness within seconds, as the opening credits roll over <strong>upsetting pencil sketches of an ever-more-distraught Dennis Weaver</strong>. We're then plunged into Dennis Weaver's home life&#8212;a perfect TV movie of cheerful good mornings and glasses of orange juice sipped hurriedly before running out the door. <strong>But all is not well in Dennis Weaver's professional life</strong>. Long the top seller at his real estate agency, he's since plummeted to seventh, and when he's shut out of a major agency expansion, he angrily realizes he needs to up his game if he's going to stay relevant in the real-estate world. During an impromptu work party, a fun-loving lady offers him some cocaine, but he refuses....</p> <p>Instead he gets drunk and goes home and yells at his wife (despite her willingness to wear a yarn dress to please him) and learns James Spader is no longer interested in going to Stanford, like Dennis Weaver had hoped.</p> <p>Soon after, Weaver is seen at a card game at a friend's house, where he and three friends drink and sass-talk. Among the guests is <strong>Jeffrey Tambor</strong>, who plays a dentist who keeps going to the bathroom and coming back all CRAZYENERGETICHAHAHAHAHALET'SGODANCING! After his bathroom visits, Tambor is <strong>noticeably sweaty</strong>&#8212;a visual trope that will carry throughout the film. (Good job, makeup designer Mario Gonzalez.)</p> <p>Having weathered two run-ins with cocaine (one explicit, one communicated through a friend's sweaty motormouthedness), Dennis Weaver then finds himself at another work party, this one packed with prospective clients. When Weaver tries to settle his shaky nerves with a scotch, his boss yells at him for being unprofessional and sends him to the bathroom to wash up. In the bathroom, Weaver meets Bruce, a high-stakes real-estate broker who loves cocaine. <strong>"It's not addictive!" promises Bruce.</strong> At first, Weaver declines Bruce's offer of a line&#8212;"I tried grass once, it made me dizzy"&#8212;but eventually takes a couple snorts, after which he's racing around the party like a sweaty motormouth.</p> <p>Soon he's visiting Bruce the cokey realtor at his apartment, where the pair does coke and talks real-estate, along with Bruce's girlfriend, who snorts up then aggressively stirs something in a metal bowl. By the time Dennis Weaver leaves Bruce's pad, he's got <strong>his own little stash of coke</strong>, which he hides in his shaver case before getting blabbermouth horny all over his wife.</p> <p>Almost immediately, Weaver's telling little lies to cover his tracks. (Why's the bathroom door locked? Do you have the sniffles? <strong>What's gotten into you??</strong>) Nevertheless, doing coke makes Dennis Weaver a more successful, if much sweatier, real estate agent, and soon he's back on top and living large.</p> <p>In one crucial scene, Dennis Weaver encounters his old friend Jeffrey Tambor drinking alone in a bar. Instead of being a happy sweaty cokehead, <strong>Tambor is sad, drunk, and wearing a toupee</strong>, which Dennis Weaver compliments before Tambor tears it off, decries the messy failure of his life, and begs Dennis Weaver to stay and talk with him. However, Weaver's here to meet the coke-dealing Bruce, and by the time their transaction is done, Tambor's inconsolable, and storms off after making a vague dark pronouncement. In response, Dennis Weaver dyes the gray out of his hair and <strong>buys a cool new snub-butt Cadillac</strong>, which mildly alarms his wife but doesn't stop her from taking a joyride in the symbol of cocaine-induced financial irresponsibility.</p> <p>Back at home, Weaver and wife receive a phone call, about Jeffrey Tambor, who they learn just tried to kill himself with a hunting rifle. We learn this through the wife's line, "<strong>What kind of person tries to kill himself with a hunting rifle?</strong>" </p> <p>Weaver visits Tambor in the hospital, but cannot be deterred from his new life as a frantic, sweaty, highly successful real-estate agent. En route to a meeting, he starts seeing tracers in the air, but waves them away with the cocky certainty of a cokehead.</p> <p>In one weird scene, Weaver meets Bruce on his yacht, where Bruce gives Weaver more coke, and shows him how to <strong>wash out his nostrils with saline</strong>. (The film does a good job highlighting the little concessions that add up to addiction&#8212;little lies to the wife, a sudden need for nasal irrigation, weird tracers in the air, but hey! I'm doing great!)</p> <p>Of course <strong>shit goes haywire</strong>. Dennis Weaver takes out a loan to buy a big bunch of coke. At work, he's top of the sales chart but violently lashing out at co-workers. In the middle of real estate deals, he slips around corners to do bumps of coke. He almost has an affair with Bruce's girlfriend, who's dressed in an attractive lavender pantsuit, but she shoots him down and warns him about making stupid coke-brained decisions. Jeffrey Tambor tries to intervene but Dennis Weaver's a full-blown cokehead now&#8212;picking fights with everyone, sweating profusely all day long, and, eventually, <strong>accidentally knocking his huge baggie of loan-financed coke into the toilet.</strong> (During this scene, the soundtrack prominently features an evocative sniffing/scraping sound effect.)</p> <p>After Weaver snorts his last tiny bit of remaining coke, he heads into an important real estate meeting, where his <strong>nose starts bleeding</strong> and he picks a fight with anyone who notices. Desperate for more coke, he races to Bruce's place, but is told by his sobbing girlfriend that Bruce has been arrested for intent to distribute cocaine! Things kick into serious <em>GoodFellas</em>-level cocaine freakout mode, with Dennis Weaver roughing up Bruce's girlfriend, digging through garbage for coke, and having a hallucinatory freakout in front of important clients, which ends with him <strong>comatose on the floor.</strong></p> <p>Then we're at the hospital, where Weaver <strong>sobs with shame on a gurney</strong> and a doctor tells Weaver's wife that her husband overdosed on coke. (She calls the doctor "a damn lousy liar!") Thanks to the coke on his person at the hospital, Dennis Weaver faces possession charges, for which he's taken to court, given probation, and sent home with his warily forgiving family. The cokey Cadillac is gone, replaced by a sensible station wagon. The film ends with a <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/04/17/1366230664-cocaine-pic-2.jpg">final creepy pencil sketch</a>, this one showing the reunited, coke-abjuring family.</p> <p>No film has ever made cocaine look less appealing. Good work!</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/17/the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-cocaine-one-mans-seduction#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16517104&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV Drugs Film Teh Internets http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/17/the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-cocaine-one-mans-seduction?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16517104&id=comments 15 The Slog Netflix Streaming Club: <em>Cocaine: One Man's Seduction</em> For one VHS release, the subtitle was changed to 'One Man's Poison' Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:58:24 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/16/what-do-you-think-of-the-hemlock-grove-trailer http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/16/what-do-you-think-of-the-hemlock-grove-trailer Paul Constant <p>Here is the INSANELY NSFW trailer for Eli Roth's upcoming Netflix original TV series* <em>Hemlock Grove</em>. Just in case you are acronym-illiterate, let me just repeat: This is <strong>not safe for work</strong>. </p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="281" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GvlFJmh6ktU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>What do you think?</p> <p>* <small>And if you don't have Netflix, you should bear in mind that <em>House of Cards</em>, the first Netflix-original series, is already <a href="http://www.deadline.com/2013/04/house-cards-dvd-bluray-sony-pictures/">coming out on DVD this June</a>, so you shouldn't feel too left out. You'll be able to get all this stuff from your local video store soon enough.</small></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/16/what-do-you-think-of-the-hemlock-grove-trailer#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16507343&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/16/what-do-you-think-of-the-hemlock-grove-trailer?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16507343&id=comments 10 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 15:24:27 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/16/jinkx-monsoon-ekes-into-the-top-three-while-crazy-jealous-men-dressed-as-women-try-to-throw-her-under-the-bus http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/16/jinkx-monsoon-ekes-into-the-top-three-while-crazy-jealous-men-dressed-as-women-try-to-throw-her-under-the-bus Christopher Frizzelle <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:videolist:logotv.com:1705510/cp~instance%3Dfullepisode%26autoPlay%3Dfalse%26id%3D1705510%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideolist%3Alogotv.com%3A1705510" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:videolist:logotv.com:1705511/cp~instance%3Dfullepisode%26autoPlay%3Dfalse%26id%3D1705511%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideolist%3Alogotv.com%3A1705511" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/16/jinkx-monsoon-ekes-into-the-top-three-while-crazy-jealous-men-dressed-as-women-try-to-throw-her-under-the-bus#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16506461&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Homo TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/16/jinkx-monsoon-ekes-into-the-top-three-while-crazy-jealous-men-dressed-as-women-try-to-throw-her-under-the-bus?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16506461&id=comments 29 Tue, 16 Apr 2013 10:04:36 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/11/next-up-in-the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-cocaine-one-mans-seduction http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/11/next-up-in-the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-cocaine-one-mans-seduction David Schmader <p><div class="blogImageRight" style="width:261px;"><img src="http://www.thestranger.com/binary/2119/1365717389-scaled.cocaine_one_mans_seduction.jpg" alt="scaled.Cocaine_One_Mans_Seduction.jpg" title="" width="249" height="369" /></div></p> <p>From the artsy heights of <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-holy-motors"><em>Holy Motors</em></a> we plunge back down into the world of schlocky made-for-TV movies with <em><a href="http://www.thestranger.com/images/blogimages/2013/04/11/1365717786-screen_shot_2013-04-11_at_3.02.26_pm.png">Cocaine: One Man's Seduction</a></em>, the 1983 TV drama about cocaine and how it seduces one man (who happens to be a maritally-troubled real estate agent played by Dennis Weaver).</p> <p>Watch <em><strong>Cocaine: One Man's Seduction</strong></em> any time you want on Netflix Streaming&#8212;or <a href="https://www.scarecrow.com/54/421848/cocaine-one-mans-seduction-mgm-limited.html">rent the DVD from Scarecrow!</a>&#8212;and we'll discuss it here on Slog next Wednesday starting at noon.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/11/next-up-in-the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-cocaine-one-mans-seduction#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16475824&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV Film Teh Internets http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/11/next-up-in-the-slog-netflix-streaming-club-cocaine-one-mans-seduction?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16475824&id=comments 4 Next Up in the Slog Netflix Streaming Club: <em>Cocaine: One Man's Seduction</em> Thu, 11 Apr 2013 15:07:33 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/rupert-murdoch-threatens-to-take-his-ball-and-go-home http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/rupert-murdoch-threatens-to-take-his-ball-and-go-home Goldy <p>Fox is threatening to <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/10/business/media/aereo-has-tv-networks-circling-the-wagons.html">pull its broadcast network off the airwaves</a> if the courts or lawmakers don't do something about <a href="https://www.aereo.com">Aereo</a>, a startup that provides local over-the-air (OTA) channels to customers via the Internet. Aereo, which so far serves only the New York City market, has managed to legally evade paying the retransmission fees local stations normally charge cable companies, by providing each customer their own tiny, dime-sized antenna in a centrally located antenna farm. Clever. The service also provides customers with cloud-based DVR functionality.</p> <p>I suppose Fox is free to do whatever they want to do with their network, but honestly, <strong>what a bunch of douchebags</strong>. Somebody should remind them that they get to use these airwaves&#8212;valuable broadcast spectrum&#8212;for free. FOR FREE. If they can't make a viable business out of this enormous public subsidy, then I say we should just auction off their TV spectrum to the highest bidder.</p> <p>Rupert Murdoch fancies himself a champion of the free market&#8212;so much so that he has attacked taxpayer subsidized <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/greenslade/2010/may/21/jamesmurdoch-british-library">libraries</a> and <a href="http://variety.com/1999/more/news/eu-to-side-with-bbc-1117756105/">public broadcasting</a> for providing unfair competition to hardworking capitalists like himself. Yet the minute his business model gets bumped by a fellow capitalist, he goes running to the government. Again, what a douchebag.</p> <p>(Also, is there any other industry whose starting point is to treat all their customers like they are thieves?)</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/rupert-murdoch-threatens-to-take-his-ball-and-go-home#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16462889&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/rupert-murdoch-threatens-to-take-his-ball-and-go-home?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16462889&id=comments 15 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 12:25:21 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/will-microsofts-next-xbox-eat-your-tv http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/will-microsofts-next-xbox-eat-your-tv Paul Constant <p><a href="http://www.theverge.com/2013/4/10/4208970/next-xbox-tv-entertainment-plans">The Verge just published</a> a great scoop about Microsoft's next Xbox plans:</p> <blockquote><p>Microsoft is investing in TV in a big way with its next Xbox console as part of a fight for the living room. Multiple sources familiar with the company's Xbox plans have revealed to The Verge that Microsoft will introduce a feature that lets its next-generation console <strong>take over a TV and set-top box</strong> in a similar way to Google TV. We understand that the next Xbox will require an online connection to use the entertainment services, allowing them to be always-on for streaming and access to TV signals.</p></blockquote> <p>If it's true, this is a <strong>pretty ballsy move</strong> on Microsoft's part. Tech companies have been trying to find ways into consumers' television sets for years now, but none of the more grandiose plans, like Google TV, have yet succeeded. Unless there's an easy way to opt out of this television OS, I'm imagining that some consumers might opt out of the Xbox entirely. And then there's the fact that the <a href="http://www.extremetech.com/gaming/150598-drm-deceit-simcity-doesnt-need-to-be-always-online-says-maxis-developer">recent Sim City debacle </a>has proven that consumers aren't happy about products that require them to be online to play games. Meanwhile, other buyers will be pissed to discover that you still need a cable subscriptions to watch cable TV; the most giddy tech TV ideas&#8212;like Apple's much-speculated-about-but-never-materialized iTV, or <a href="http://www.theverge.com/2013/2/18/3992038/why-intel-media-could-finally-crack-internet-tv">Intel's upcoming project</a>&#8212;involve cable replacements. It'll be interesting to <strong>see how this thing lands</strong>; it'll either be a crazy success or a crazy failure.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/will-microsofts-next-xbox-eat-your-tv#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16462624&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV Tech http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/10/will-microsofts-next-xbox-eat-your-tv?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16462624&id=comments 32 Wed, 10 Apr 2013 11:29:50 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/let-the-tuesday-afternoon-jinkx-monsoon-fan-club-commence http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/let-the-tuesday-afternoon-jinkx-monsoon-fan-club-commence Christopher Frizzelle <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:videolist:logotv.com:1705161/cp~instance%3Dfullepisode%26autoPlay%3Dfalse%26id%3D1705161%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideolist%3Alogotv.com%3A1705161" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:videolist:logotv.com:1705169/cp~instance%3Dfullepisode%26autoPlay%3Dfalse%26id%3D1705169%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideolist%3Alogotv.com%3A1705169" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/let-the-tuesday-afternoon-jinkx-monsoon-fan-club-commence#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16458334&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Homo TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/let-the-tuesday-afternoon-jinkx-monsoon-fan-club-commence?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16458334&id=comments 8 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 16:46:53 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/what-do-you-think-of-better-call-saul-the-series http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/what-do-you-think-of-better-call-saul-the-series Paul Constant <p>Alex Maidy at <a href="http://www.joblo.com/movie-news/amc-in-discussions-to-create-a-breaking-bad-spin-off-series">JoBlo.com says that</a> the creators of <em>Breaking Bad</em> might be working on a <em>Breaking Bad</em> spinoff:</p> <blockquote><p>Saul Goodman, the sleazy lawyer played by Bob Odenkirk, may be getting his own show according to Deadline. The potential series would apparently be<strong> a comedy of either the half hour or full hour</strong> variety. All signs point to no studio audience. The show is in the very early stages but would like be produced by BREAKING BAD's Gilligan and the writer who created the character of Saul Goodman, Peter Gould.</p></blockquote> <p>On the one hand, Bob Odenkirk is amazing as Saul Goodman. On the other hand, one of the things I've always loved about <em>Breaking Bad</em> is the fact that it feels self-contained. A spinoff series could seriously dilute the novelistic feeling of the original show.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/what-do-you-think-of-better-call-saul-the-series#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16455730&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/what-do-you-think-of-better-call-saul-the-series?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16455730&id=comments 10 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:47:58 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/family-tree-trailer-hbo-is-forcing-you-to-buy-hbo http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/family-tree-trailer-hbo-is-forcing-you-to-buy-hbo Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>HBO has been killing it lately&#8212;with of course <em>Game of Thrones</em>, <em>Veep</em>, the upcoming Liberace biopic [<a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/08/now-how-excited-are-you">WATCH THAT TRAILER!!!</a>] and now a new comedy series from Christopher Guest called <strong><i>Family Tree</i></strong>, starring Chris Dowd and every single person from every Christopher Guest movie ever. It debuts Sun May 12 at 10:30 pm and it looks <em>very</em> funny. <strong>WATCH THAT TRAILER!!!</strong></p> <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="500" height="300" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Fe_Fpq2PVSo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/family-tree-trailer-hbo-is-forcing-you-to-buy-hbo#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16454515&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/09/family-tree-trailer-hbo-is-forcing-you-to-buy-hbo?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16454515&id=comments 7 Tue, 09 Apr 2013 12:04:00 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/08/veronica-mars-t-shirt-okay-now-i-feel-like-an-ass http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/08/veronica-mars-t-shirt-okay-now-i-feel-like-an-ass Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>As you may have read, while I totally support the <em>Veronica Mars </em>movie, there was no way I was going to support the Kickstarter&#8212;<a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/i-love-television/Content?oid=16349012">for reasons I have already discussed. </a>HOWEVER! This morning I learned I am a HORSE'S ASS&#8212;because I had no idea that contributors who gave $25 or more to the Kickstarter would receive <strong>an awesome promotional <i>Veronica Mars </i>T-shirt!</strong> <a href="http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=102522">Here it is,</a> modeled by Logan Echolls himself, Jason Dohring.</p> <p>SQUEEEEEE! And god<em>dammit!!</em> I'm a horse's ass. There's another almost as cool shirt, <a href="http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=102522">here.</a></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/08/veronica-mars-t-shirt-okay-now-i-feel-like-an-ass#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16447700&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/08/veronica-mars-t-shirt-okay-now-i-feel-like-an-ass?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16447700&id=comments 0 Mon, 08 Apr 2013 13:19:46 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/03/jay-leno-is-peacefully-passing-the-tonight-show-to-jimmy-fallon http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/03/jay-leno-is-peacefully-passing-the-tonight-show-to-jimmy-fallon Paul Constant <p>There's been speculation for some time, but<a href="http://www.deadline.com/2013/04/nbc-sets-tonight-show-transition-with-jimmy-fallon-taking-over-in-2014/"> it's finally official</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>After months of speculation, a slew of news stories, a ton of late-night jokes and a Jay Leno-Jimmy Fallon duet, NBC has set a date for Leno&#8217;s departure from The Tonight Show and officially <strong>anointed Fallon as the new host</strong> of the venerable late-night franchise. Leno will depart The Tonight Show in spring 2014 after 22 years, and he will be replaced by Fallon. The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon will be based in New York, where the show originated, and will be set at the 30 Rock studio that now houses Fallon&#8217;s Late Night, which is undergoing renovation that is slated to be completed in 2014 in time for the re-launch of The Tonight Show. The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon will be executive produced by Lorne Michaels, marking the first time the Saturday Night Live and Late Night executive producer has been in charge of NBC&#8217;s flagship late-night show.</p></blockquote> <p>The change will happen after the Winter Olympics in early 2014. Leno will go back to doing a traveling standup show in front of prescription drug-addled old Republicans until he finally turns to dust and blows away three hundred years hence. Leno agreed to this deal, which means he basically destroyed Conan O'Brien's career out of spite a couple years back. <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/03/20/will-jay-leno-destroy-jimmy-fallon-the-way-he-destroyed-conan-obrien">In a recent Slog poll about this transition</a>, we successfully determined that <strong>Slog doesn't really give much of a shit</strong> either way.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/03/jay-leno-is-peacefully-passing-the-tonight-show-to-jimmy-fallon#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16406842&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/03/jay-leno-is-peacefully-passing-the-tonight-show-to-jimmy-fallon?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16406842&id=comments 13 Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:01:03 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/pirates-love-a-game-of-thrones http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/pirates-love-a-game-of-thrones Paul Constant <p><a href="http://www.cnet.com.au/game-of-thrones-breaks-bittorrent-records-339343820.htm">Nic Healey of CNET reports</a> that <em>Game of Thrones</em> is now the most torrented TV show in the world:</p> <blockquote><p>Within hours of airing, episode one of season three had smashed the previous swarm record (the total number of seeders and leechers), which had been held by the season three premiere of <em>Heroes</em>.</p> <p>According to TorrentFreak, 163,088 people were sharing one single torrent of the <em>Game of Thrones</em> episode, just under 20,000 more than the Heroes record. By the next day, 1 April, conservative estimates of the number of seeded torrents suggested that the episode had been<strong> downloaded at least 1 million times</strong>.</p></blockquote> <p>I know that not all those people would pay to stream Game of Thrones, but I bet a significant portion of them would. And I'm not one of those people who thinks that every bit of media has to be available to every consumer at every moment on every platform&#8212;releasing movies exclusively in theaters first is a good way to make a movie into an event, for example&#8212;but I do think that television shows have traditionally been most successful when <strong>large groups of people</strong> are watching them at the same time. It would work in HBO's favor if they made <em>Game of Thrones</em> available; clearly, a large number of people consider it to be event television, and they're not willing to wait for the DVD release.</p> <p><small>(Also: Is anyone else shocked to learn that the first episode of season three of <em>Heroes</em> was still the record holder for total number of seeders and leechers at the beginning of 2013? Also also: Is anyone else shocked to learn that there was a third season of <em>Heroes</em>?)</small></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/pirates-love-a-game-of-thrones#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16398296&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/pirates-love-a-game-of-thrones?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16398296&id=comments 17 Tue, 02 Apr 2013 10:47:39 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/jinkx-monsoon-had-another-amazing-night-on-rupauls-drag-race http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/jinkx-monsoon-had-another-amazing-night-on-rupauls-drag-race Christopher Frizzelle <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:videolist:logotv.com:1704733/cp~instance%3Dfullepisode%26autoPlay%3Dfalse%26id%3D1704733%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideolist%3Alogotv.com%3A1704733" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p><div style="margin:0px;padding:4px;width:500px;text-align:center;font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><a href="http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls_drag_race/season_5/series.jhtml" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">Watch RuPaul's Drag Race Full Episodes</a> - <a href="http://www.newnownext.com/personality/rupaul" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">RuPaul</a> - <a href="http://www.logotv.com/" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">Logo TV</a></div></p> <p><iframe src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/embed/mgid:uma:videolist:logotv.com:1704735/cp~instance%3Dfullepisode%26autoPlay%3Dfalse%26id%3D1704735%26uri%3Dmgid%3Auma%3Avideolist%3Alogotv.com%3A1704735" width="512" height="288" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p><div style="margin:0px;padding:4px;width:500px;text-align:center;font-family:Verdana,sans-serif;font-size:12px;"><a href="http://www.logotv.com/shows/rupauls_drag_race/season_5/series.jhtml" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">Watch RuPaul's Drag Race Full Episodes</a> - <a href="http://www.newnownext.com/personality/rupaul" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">RuPaul</a> - <a href="http://www.logotv.com/" style="color:#439CD8;" target="_blank">Logo TV</a></div></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/jinkx-monsoon-had-another-amazing-night-on-rupauls-drag-race#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16398160&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Homo TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/jinkx-monsoon-had-another-amazing-night-on-rupauls-drag-race?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16398160&id=comments 7 Tue, 02 Apr 2013 10:16:58 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/watch-local-actor-quinn-franzen-get-chopped-in-half-on-national-tv http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/watch-local-actor-quinn-franzen-get-chopped-in-half-on-national-tv Christopher Frizzelle <p><div style="text-align:center;"><iframe width="512" height="288" src="http://www.hulu.com/embed.html?eid=mnyedhrgebpor81lbwhckq" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/watch-local-actor-quinn-franzen-get-chopped-in-half-on-national-tv#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16395751&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/02/watch-local-actor-quinn-franzen-get-chopped-in-half-on-national-tv?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16395751&id=comments 3 Tue, 02 Apr 2013 09:25:00 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/01/wait-i-was-wrong-jinkx-monsoon-will-not-be-at-julias-tonightbut-her-roommate-will-be http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/01/wait-i-was-wrong-jinkx-monsoon-will-not-be-at-julias-tonightbut-her-roommate-will-be Christopher Frizzelle <p>Hey, everyone. Fuck-up time. <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/suggests/16265250/rupauls-drag-race-with-jinkx-monsoon">In today's Stranger Suggest,</a> I recommend going to Julia's on Broadway to watch Jinkx Monsoon watching herself on <em>RuPaul's Drag Race</em>. This weekly viewing party is hosted by <strong>BenDeLaCreme,</strong> who spends commercial breaks asking Jinkx hilarious and gossipy questions. <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/03/05/jinkx-monsoon-held-a-very-long-note-on-television-last-night&view=comments">I've been before and it's fun and you should go.</a> But! You should know that, if you go tonight, <strong>Jinkx Monsoon will not be there,</strong> alas, as she is in Chicago this week. </p> <p>Should you still go? Absolutely. BenDeLaCreme will be there, hosting and performing and being hilarious and looking great, and an extra-special guest drag queen will be there too: <strong>Major Scales,</strong> the drag persona of Richard Andriessen. As you know if you are in the know, Major Scales and Jinkx Monsoon are real-life roommates, so expect some really juicy gossip about dishes and laundry and <strong>who takes longer showers.</strong> According to a source, Julia's is working on getting the technology to work to Skype Jinkx into the viewing party tonight, but that is not guaranteed. </p> <p>May I recommend one more time to get there early? Get there early. It gets crowded fast.</p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/01/wait-i-was-wrong-jinkx-monsoon-will-not-be-at-julias-tonightbut-her-roommate-will-be#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16393536&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> Homo TV Nightlife http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/01/wait-i-was-wrong-jinkx-monsoon-will-not-be-at-julias-tonightbut-her-roommate-will-be?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16393536&id=comments 3 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 17:07:00 -0700 The Stranger http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/01/the-walking-dead-and-blossom-chitty-chat-club http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/01/the-walking-dead-and-blossom-chitty-chat-club Wm.&#153; Steven Humphrey <p>As you know, my regular <em>Walking Dead</em> and <em>Girls </em>recap went all ker-fuckle when <em>Girls </em>ended their season two weeks early. So last week <a href="http://www.portlandmercury.com/BlogtownPDX/archives/2013/03/25/the-walking-dead-and-boy-meets-world-chitty-chat-club">I paired the <i>Dead </i>with a recap of an old episode of <i>Boy Meets World</i></a> (which was great) and this week I'm pairing it with an old episode of my second favorite sitcom ever, <em>Blossom</em>! So hit the jump for all the spoilers you could ever want about last night's season finale of <em>The Walking Dead</em>... and some <em>Blossom</em>, too! <strong>LET'S START CHITTY-CHATTING!</strong></p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/binary/c3dc/1364834750-article-walkingdead2f-4.jpg" alt="Oh no, Blossom. I do not expect you to talk. I expect you to DIE." title="Oh no, Blossom. I do not expect you to talk. I expect you to DIE." width="500" height="332" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"><a href="http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/ImageArchives?by=2833109">Courtesy AMC</a></li><li class="imageCaption">"Oh no, Blossom. I do not expect you to talk. I expect you to DIE."</li></ul></div></p> <p>Here's what I'm thinking about the season finale of <em>The Walking Dead</em> "Welcome to the Tombs," and season one, episode one of <em>Blossom</em>, entitled "Blossom Blossoms"!</p> <p>1) OWW! OWW!! Hey, Guv'nah! Stop punching me in the face! OHHHHH, I get it... this is just a clever P.O.V. shot and the Guv'nah is <em>actually </em>punching Drippy McHenchman. (And it's a good thing, too&#8212;I hate experiencing pain or ugliness.) Because Drippy burned up the Guv's zombie zoo (and then CONFESSED because he's a dumbass) he is beaten senseless and tossed into Blondie McGunnerson's torture room, where he's told to stabbity-stabbity-stab her to make good for his crimes. Naturally, Drippy makes a half-hearted attempt at stabbity-stabbing the Guv, and is stabbity-stabbed in the gut for his trouble. Ouchity-ouch! But here's the good part: The Guv leaves Drippy in the room with Blondie knowing that he will die, turn and devour her. Or as he put it: "In this world, you either kill or die... orrrrrr (heh, heh, hehhhhhh) DIE AND KILL! BWAAAHH-HAH-HAH-HAAAAAA!! (Kaff! Kaff!) Excuse me while I find a cough drop."</p> <p>2) Meanwhile in pubescent land, Blossom is experiencing her first period! HA-HA-HA <em>GROSS</em>, right? And since her mom ran away to become a rock star, she has to go to the drug store alone to pick up some tampons. Unfortunately, a teenage school chum (a very young Giovanni Ribisi&#8212;SQUEEEEEE!) is working the counter, so Blossom lies her ovaries off about the tampons not being for her and leaves in abject mortification. Luckily her best friend "Six"&#8212;I know, right?&#8212;drops by the house to deliver some tampons, pads and words of encouragement about the blood squirting out of their vaginas.</p> <p>3) Meanwhile back at the prison, the gang is apparently packing up and moving out to avoid an all-out war with the Guv'nah&#8212;and l'il Carl is pissed! (Hey grumpy Carl! Be happy you're not Blossom!) When the Guv and his shitty townsfolk army arrive they come into the prison with guns blazing&#8212;but wait! Rick's Rangers aren't here! <strong>BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!</strong> Oh, shit, they <em>are</em> here and they're shooting guns at us!! <em>WE DID NOT EXPECT THIS.</em> <strong>Retreat! Reeeetreeeeat!!!</strong> Rick is all like, HA-HA-HA we won, and Carl is all like BLAM-BLAM-BLAM, I'm shooting a retreating Guv'nah crony in the face. And Drunky McFarmerson's finger is all like WAG-WAG-WAG.</p> <p>4) Back at Blossom's, her bros Joey and Anthony (wearing suspenders and a fanny pack) are in the kitchen eating ice cream when Blossom bursts in to bitch them out for absolutely no reason! What is she? On her period or something? Later that night, Blossom wishes she had a real on-site mom to coach her through this trying time and has a dream that Clair Huxtable (from <em>The Cosby Show</em>) is her mom!! Oh, man, I would be just like Carl and kill everyone on earth for Clair Huxtable to be my mom. (As long as she's not dead and haunting Rick, right?)</p> <p>5) Meanwhile back on the road, the Guv stops his fleeing chicken-shit army and screams, "Let's go back and get those a-holes!" Unfortunately one person speaks up to say this is not a great idea, and so the Guv takes his gun and MOWS THEM ALL DOWN. (Okay. That's one way to handle it.) Meanwhile back in Blondie's torture room, Drippy lies dying on the floor, which means that Blondie only has a few minutes to pick up those dropped pliers with her monkey feet and get herself loose&#8212;but instead she uses at least a minute or two of those precious seconds to philosophize about how morally superior she is, and stare meaningfully at Drippy. SHE IS SO FUCKING STUPID. It's official.</p> <p>6) Back at Blossom's recent mortification, Dad decides the best way to deal with Blossom's period is to attack it head on, and call a family meeting where he announces to everyone, "Hey, Blossom's got her period!" Weirdly, this does not get the reaction he was expecting. And Blossom rushes off to her room to cry and bleed in peace. </p> <p>7) Meanwhile, Rick is all like, "Carl, why did you kill that retreating Woodsburyian?" And Carl is all like, "Videogames made me do it!!" Okay, fine, he said, "Because why should I leave someone alive that's just going to turn around and try to kill us? In other words, pop, you're a PUSS." Rick has no response to that&#8212;but decides to grab Michonne and Racisty McRedneck to go after the Guv'nah. (Do you ever get the feeling that Rick's plans aren't really plans at all?) On the way, they meet a survivor of the Guv's roadside massacre, who gets them inside with some help from Tyreese (AKA the one black guy they haven't killed yet.)</p> <p>8) Meanwhile back in Tamponsville, Dad makes up for his colossal blunder by braiding Blossom's hair and taking the entire family out for Chinese food. He makes it known that while he'll never take the place of Blossom's mom&#8212;he can take them out for Chinese food. So there's that? In a comedic attempt to understand Blossom's "rules" about her period, Joey asks, "Do I have to knock on your bedroom door before I come in now?" [UPROARIOUS CANNED STUDIO LAUGHTER, AND&#8230; <em>fin.</em>]</p> <p>9) Back at Blondie's torture room, Rick's Rangers hear some disturbing zombie munching sounds behind the door, and when they open it they discover... dead zombie Drippy McHenchman! EWWWWW! And Blondie McGunnerson alive but with a big chunk bitten out of her neck. EWWWWWW!! Knowing that she's a pre-zombie goner, Blondie courageously volunteers to shoot herself... but not before delivering yet another terrible, sanctimonious monologue. OH FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, JUST SHOOT YOURSELF ALREADY!! HAVEN'T WE SUFFERED ENOUGH??? Cut to <strong>BANG!!</strong> Cut to a yellow school bus pulling up to the prison, where a bunch of old and infirm people (and Tyrese) from Woodsbury are apparently moving in. Cut to Carl scowling, "<strong>What the FUCK?!?</strong> Why didn't we all just move to Woodsbury which has all the ammo and food? FUCK THESE GUYS, I'M OUTTA HERE!!" Cut to the ghost of Lori/Clair Huxtable who isn't there anymore, and a sunshiny day of zombies frolicking in the field looking like a hipster's Instagram account. THE END.</p> <p>10) Other than that Blossom episode, a pretty disappointing night of TV, guys! That <em>Walking Dead</em> season finale was a definite let down other than the demise of Blondie McGunnerson whose only job this season was to annoy the shit out of me. <strong>WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS EPISODE? </strong>Leave your comments below, and don't forget to wear your flower hat and tampon.</p> <p><div class="blogImageCenter" style="width:512px;"><img src="http://www.portlandmercury.com/binary/6b49/1364837942-blossom-watn-mayim-bialik-then-jpg.jpg" alt="Wait... zombies cant smell my period, right?" title="Wait... zombies cant smell my period, right?" width="500" height="281" /><ul><li class="imageCredit"><a href="http://www.portlandmercury.com/portland/ImageArchives?by=22102"></a></li><li class="imageCaption">"Wait... zombies can't smell my period, right?"</li></ul></div></p> <p>[ <a href="http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/01/the-walking-dead-and-blossom-chitty-chat-club#comments">Comment on this story</a> ]</p> <p>[ <a href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16391292&amp;id=comments">Subscribe to the comments on this story</a> ]</p> TV http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/04/01/the-walking-dead-and-blossom-chitty-chat-club?show=comments#readerComments http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=16391292&id=comments 5 Mon, 01 Apr 2013 12:29:56 -0700 The Stranger