Taken by Mike Sacks. Find the full archive here.

The final season of Lost begins February 2 with a recap show then a two-hour season premiere.

It doesn't end very well (that's the Saturday Night Live curse), but Christopher Walken should have somehow gotten an Oscar for his five-minute performance in this skit.

Kind of heartbreaking in a way, isn't it?

Lucky for me, and you, and anyone else who is a fan of the massive black pit of failure into which Palin continues to furiously and roguishly dig herself (every day brings a new gift!), she's about to be on the Oprah Winfrey Show. TODAY. The only thing that could make this better is if it was the Tyra Show. Ohhhhhh, Tyra.

Christopher Frizzelle and I will be live-Slogging the event—in which Palin discusses Levi Johnston's upcoming public penis unveiling—right here from 4 to 5 pm. Please join us. Thank you.

Due to popular demand/previous freakout, the rest of this post may be found after the jump.

• www.bravotv.com
• Spoiler alert: Neither of these people went home.

Via JMG.

Except for one thing: I used to be totally addicted to America's Next Top Model. Season two, in which Shandi was robbed of the title, was one of the only non-Joss-Whedon-related TV shows that I was actually eager to watch every week. But ANTM quickly declined in the quality department, and I stopped watching it. But recently, I discovered the pleasures of reading fourfour's weekly blog recaps of each episode of ANTM.

This week's edition of ANTM on fourfour covers the Blackface Challenge on last week's episode, and it's illustrated with many of the same awkward screencaps and hilarious animated GIFs that it delivers every week. The commentary is often laugh-out-loud funny and more thoughtful than ANTM deserves. I quickly realized that I enjoy reading fourfour's roundup more than I ever enjoyed actually watching America's Next Top Model in the first place. I suggest that you go back and read the archives; like me, you'll be dying to find out who wins just for the pleasure of hearing fourfour's opinion about the winner. It's damn fine television blogging.

* There is a timely reason that I'm thinking about television: I'm intrigued about tonight's premiere episode of V, the ABC relaunch of the old sci-fi television miniseries. I'll watch the first episode and get back to you here on Slog soon after.

And Slog tipper Travis just sent me a link to this timely Christwire article. It's too weird for me to explain, so I'm going to quote:

Many studies have been done on why the gays love The Golden Girls, but science can’t fathom the moral challenges and social upheaval of those historic times...there was a subculture of homosexuality creeping up on our youths. It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans and to sneak off to public parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities.

It was only to be expected that our lonely boys exposed to these conflicted times would succumb to the nagging Golden Girls agenda. These were slender, unathletic children who were left out of the fun militarism of the Reagan years. Skyrocketing divorce rates ruined their faith in traditional relationships. Rock groups like Duran Duran and Styx encouraged big hair and overactive libidos. The show lit a match which enflamed their intense physical urges. With the utmost cruelty and immorality, The Golden Girls seized upon this opportunity to cross the hormonal wires of America’s lost generation.

The results were disastrous. Our horny, lonely boys sought out intimate comforts with likeminded Golden Girls addicts who didn’t mind each other’s theatrical voices and touch-feely hand gestures. Together, these clusters of awkward teens and twentysomethings bonded over their favorite episodes and characters, mimicking the voices and gowns of their tv friends. When the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill. They were so desperate for the next big trend they turned to same-sex sexual experimentation. What woman would have them now, anyway? This led to the worse excesses of early homosexual visibility— the most enormous of drag queens, the dirtiest of leather daddies, the most enticing of twinkie boys, androgyny, overeating, public sex and the birth of “camp.”

Christwire is the funniest blog I've read in a really long time.

The Colbert Report starts in about one minute. Video when it's posted.

But, man, whatever the fuck with tonight's elimination. Christopher is still here? He's in the final six? Christopher? WTF?

7 pm: It begins with Enrique Cerna saying, "Stay with us as we pin the candidates down on the biggest issues of the campaign." Mallahan is in a yellow-and-blue tie that looks like wrapping paper; McGinn is in a red tie.

7:02 pm: Joe Mallahan has a very strange smile, no?

7:03 pm: McGinn: "I'm running for mayor because I love this city... One of the ways you can tell what a candidate cares about is not just what they say but what they've done." And then he launches into his very well practiced list of civic accomplishments. Sidewalks, law firm, Sierra Club, starting a nonprofit called Great City, light rail, the parks levy, etc.

7:05 pm: Mallahan: "Thank you everybody for listening tonight and watching on KCTS. I'm running because I really want to see us keeping Seattle moving forward... We need to move forward on job creation... We need to move forward on public safety... We need to move forward with smart transportation solutions... And we need to move forward with regard to our progessive values... " Bring us all together to "move Seattle forward." STOP SAYING "MOVING FORWARD"!

7:08 pm: The question, for McGinn: How do you explain changing your position on the tunnel and convince voters you're not a flip-flopper? "I still oppose that deep-bore tunnel. I think it's the wrong choice for Seattle. It's too expensive... But when I held 18 town halls around the city, a lot of people said they were opposed to the tunnel, but other people said, 'Mike, if you don't get your way, are you going to tie this city up in knots?' Well, two weeks before the election, the city council voted 9-0 in favor of the deep bore tunnel. Of course, as the mayor, I don't pick and choose which laws I enforce..." He says his position is that we shouldn't proceed with the tunnel if Seattle has to pay cost overruns, and says that Mallahan's position is that we should proceed even if Seattle has to pay cost overruns.

7:12 pm: McGinn, on the cost overruns, after establishing how common cost overruns are on projects like this: "A 50% overrun would be a 2 billion dollar tax on Seattle... That would be $15,000 for every household in Seattle."

7:13 pm: Mallahan feigns confusion over Mike's position and says Mike doesn't want the city to have living wage jobs. Or something?

7:14 pm: Question for Mallahan from Joni Balter. If there are cost overruns, what will you do to make sure Seattle doesn't get stuck with them? "Joni, I like any taxpayer am concerned about any cost overruns... It's my job to make sure overruns don't occur... I have a lot of management experience... on time and on budget."

7:16 pm: McGinn: "Joe misses the point when he tells us the state law is unconstitutional. Does he intend to litigate? That's interesting..." Goes on to point out that a good manager knows who reports to them, and that the Washington State Department of Transportation doesn't report to the mayor of Seattle. "There's no way a mayor of Seattle is going to be able to manage cost overruns on a Washington State Department of Transportation project." McGinn is not mentioning tonight, as he did last night, that the companies who stand to make millions in the tunnel project—and potentially millions more in cost overruns—are funding and running Mallahan's campaign.

7:19 pm: Mallahan: "I have a long history of hiring people way smarter than I am." Um, no one's doubting that. "I drive accountability in the organizations that I lead." Man, Mallahan sure does a lot of driving—driving accountability, driving efficiencies, driving things forward. Stop driving so much, Joe. Just pull over for a sec.

7:21 pm: Who's going to be your deputy mayor? Who's going to help you run the city? McGinn says he hasn't picked yet, that governing is different than running a campaign, and "I'm going to bring in a lot of people" to help him make those decisions. Mallahan says he agrees, and that he's very proud of running a campaign that's "professional"—a subtle dig at the McGinn camp for having no paid staffers, the way Mallahan does.

7:22 pm: The question: "Mr. Mallahan, you've failed to vote in more than 13 elections, including last September's primary." Essentially, WTF? Mallahan apologizes, says there's no excuse, and promises to do better. "I think it is not an accurate reflection of my commitment to community and my commitment to people." Then he mentions community involvement in his kids' schools, Treehouse, community organizing in Chicago. McGinn is asked why he's missed four elections, and he apologizes and says there's no excuse, adding, "I've definitely made more elections than I've missed in Seattle, and I've also worked to not just vote, but to get things on the ballot." He mentions parks, sidewalks, roads and transit, light rail, and a voter education campaign to get Maria Cantwell elected (against "Joe's former employer Slade Gorton").

7:26 pm: Joni Balter calls Mallahan's position on the gun ban "a little murky, hard to follow." Mallahan calls the gun ban "a gesture at best" that consists mostly of "putting up signs in parks."

7:29 pm: In a pretty remarkable rhetorical tear, jumping from the gun ban to the tunnel to the Burke-Gilman trail, McGinn shows that Mallahan's answer to everything is litigation.

7:31 pm: After Mallahan drops Obama's name and talks about being "a lifelong Democrat," McGinn says: "What being a Democrat means is that you stand up for people against power..." He talks about what Mallahan was saying at the beginning of the campaign versus what he's saying now. "In all my years in politics, I have never seen a canidate go from idealistic outsider to the status quo in that period of time."

7:32 pm: What will you do if Eyman's I-1033 passes? McGinn: "I-1033 is a nightmare for city government... My first goal would be that everybody in this room vote against it, and encourage everyone else they know to vote against it." Mallahan: "The first thing I would do is weep." He argues that the city is already weakened by all the initiatives Eyman has passed. Then Mallahan calls his own call for a repeal of the head tax "kind of symbolic and kind of Republican-sounding." That's a strange way to describe one's own position on something.

7:35 pm: "I have driven literally hundreds of millions of dollars in savings in operations of large companies." Joe, seriously, stop driving. Step away from the vehicle.

7:40 pm: They're talking about panhandling legislation. Joni Balter asks if it's ever appropriate for a homeless person to touch you in the course of panhandling. McGinn says it's not, but that we shouldn't be pursuing panhandling legislation that's just going to push the homeless into new neighborhoods because it doesn't get at the root causes of homelessness. Joe Mallahan keeps saying that he thinks the homeless should be treated with "dignity." He's an advocate for "dignity." And holding himself "accountable" and holding police officers "accountable." They should show "respect and dignity" for people across Seattle.

7:42 pm: A question about gangs and public safety. McGinn: "You know, Joe, you keep accusing me of politicizing issues of public safety... And there's something else you keep saying, which is that you'll be present for Southeast Seattle. And you know on Monday night, I went to probably one of the toughest forums that I'd ever been to--a mother of someone who'd been shot, two people who'd been incarcerated--and they were angry. And you weren't there, Joe. You weren't present... I think you're politicizing this." McGinn goes on to accuse Mallahan of politicizing the police chief search, delaying it so that Mallahan can have more control over it, rather than letting it develop for the time being under Nickels's leadership.

7:44 pm: In response, Mallahan literally starts naming black people who have endorsed him. Then he says, "Africans endorse my candidacy." Oh. My. God.

7:47 pm: McGinn is getting very aggressive, telling the moderator who has time left, etc. Next question: If you could accomplish one thing, what would it be? McGinn says: A government that is transparent, a government that listens. He talks about sidewalks in Greenwood and his neighbors' skepticism about the city making a sidewalks project worse. "I know it sounds kind of trite, but it's real. People have to know government wants to be in a position to help them." Mallahan: "Deborah, if I could accomplish one thing, it's that everyone in Seattle who wants a job can have a job, and a job that's a living-wage job."

7:50 pm: Closing statements already?

7:51 pm: From Mallahan's closing statement: "We have big problems to solve and we have big things to achieve with regard to our progressive values... I was born and raised on the beaches and the tideflats of the Puget Sound. I know what's in the Puget Sound. I eat a lot of it." Mallahan calls the city's "sewage issues" "not a sexy thing" but "something we need to focus on."

7:53 pm: From McGinn's closing statement: "You know, I got involved in this race because at my nonprofit at Great city, when I worked with people across the city, there was a sense that government wasn't listening to them anymore... I got into this race because I thought it was improtant to try to build on the work I'd done begore—in Greenwood, in the Sierra Club, at Great City... The things I picked out [to focus on in this campaign] were education... Light rail to neighborhoods that don't have it... Green jobs... Updating our internet infrastructure... But more than that, in all the work I've done in the city, the people of Seattle care about this city, they love this city, they're passionate about it, and when you challenge them to step forward... people are ready to tackle problems if we're ready to do it.... We're going to have to reach out to communities to work together to solve the problems we face."

And... we're done. Not a barnburner like last night. Have at it in the comments.

PART IV: WHEN YOU WERE A BABY BEAR, WERE YOU BIT BY A HUMAN?

Top Chef Season 6 Chef’testant Robin Levethal takes “gastro pub“ to new heights: gastro club!

Exclamation point, indeed.

Full press release after the jump, in case anyone cares.

• www.bravotv.com

* Who, fittingly, was not prospecting for silver and gold, but peppermint.

That's right: Today's Oprah Winfrey Show is devoted to hoarders—the show and the people—and while it looks like just a hour-long Oprahtization of the A&E series, that doesn't mean I don't want to watch it.

Bonus from the Oprah website: A handy "Are you a hoarder?" quiz!

Previous Hoarders discussion here and here.

And Hayden Panettiere will make out with some girl in the next episode of Heroes. Hopefully, ratings-inspired lesbian kisses have become the new Cousin Oliver and this means that this will be the last season of Heroes. I watched the first episode of the new season and underwhelmed doesn't begin to describe how I feel about this show.

"If I knew that was gonna be a part of the show, I definitely wouldn't have done it," says Connick of (and during) his appearance. Good for him. If I were a voter heading into the ballot booth that is my envelope, I would pull the lever for him.

Thank you, Melbourne-based Slog tipper Arion.