The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper: Slog: Booze

Police Officer Survives Malt Beverage Attack, Police Say

Unpaid Intern — Mon, 13 May 2013 11:03:45 -0700

Posted by news intern Ansel Herz.

Two weeks ago, we reported on a reported assault on a police officer—specifically, a marijuana pipe allegedly tossed at an officer's head.

This week brings another report of an inventive, alleged assault on an officer—perhaps the work of a copycat criminal? Last Tuesday afternoon, a humble police officer was driving past University Playground when he noticed a man carrying "a large can of beer in his left hand," according to a police report. Specifically, a 24-ounce can of Stack High Gravity Smooth Lager, a malt liquor celebrated for its "sugar covered dried apricots, cotton candy and green apple" flavor with "lively carbonation and a long, boozy finish."

The can was open, and since carrying around open cans of alcohol in public is decidedly not legal—not even on hot, beautiful sunny days, when all you crave is an orange-colored malt beverage with minimal head—the officer rolled down his passenger side window and instructed the suspect to pour out his beverage, the report states.

The suspect reportedly ignored the command and kept walking, so the officer "moved his patrol vehicle into the crosswalk to block his path," the report continues. Ordered once again to dump out the malt beverage, the suspect bent over—looking into the officer's passenger window—and began to comply. But when the can was about half empty, the suspect suddenly "threw the can through the open window." It was a direct hit, the report notes. The can struck the officer in the upper right arm and its contents "poured onto the right side of his uniform," probably causing the officer to reek of sweet citrus with a boozy finish. The officer immediately got out and arrested the suspect, whereupon the man "began professing that he was sorry and that throwing the beer was stupid," the report notes.

Once at the North Precinct, the suspect reportedly confessed to another officer that he had thrown the half-full can at the officer and that "he was sorry," the report reiterates. The officer did not require medical attention.

A note to Seattle police officers: Stay on your toes and watch out for flying paraphernalia. And to the residents of Seattle, a polite reminder: pot and booze are to be consumed and enjoyed, rather than flung at people.

The Stranger, Seattle's Only Newspaper: Slog: Booze

Police Officer Survives Malt Beverage Attack, Police Say

Now Open 24 Hours: Lost Lake Cafe & Lounge

Drunk Me and Henry Louis Gates Jr.

I Shouldn't Do This...

Tonight's the End for the Viking Tavern in Ballard

1st Hill Bar and Grill Closes

Today in Burying the Lede: Underage Liquor Sales

This Week in I, Anonymous: Father Knows Best

Showdown Occurs After Drunk Man Attempts to Turn Off a Clint Eastwood Movie

Rally in Olympia on Friday to Fight the Beer Tax

Exciting Booze News: A New Bar from the Owner of Liberty!

How Long Did You Last?

Whiskey Nerding

Where and How Do You Buy Your Liquor?

It's Shampoo For Your Ayne

Friday Photo Fun: Do Beer Drinkers Have More Fun Than Wine Tasters?

Happiest Hour: The Tin Lizzie Lounge

Drinkiing with Charlse Mudede: Loud Laughter That Hurts the Ears

Where Are You Gonna Have a Beer on Saint Patrick's Day?

Happiest Hour: Ducks and Free Cheetos at Speckled & Drake

Don't Fuck This Up: In Advance of Their First Seattle Show Since 2004, Here Are Nine Lessons the Catheters Learned the Hard Way

The Canterbury Is Closing at the End of the Year, But...

More Beer! Coming Soon to the CD

The Oscars Are Happening in Our Slog-Hole

Nun Guts—No, That's Not a Typo

Does This Anti-Tank Weapon Make Me Look Fat?

Happiest Hour: The Coterie Room

Fuck the Golden Globes

Two Posts About a Football Game? And Not a Single Post About the Golden Globes?

Cafe Venus and Mars Bar Is Closing Tonight