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    <channel>
      <title>Comments On: Hot and Safe
    
      by Dan Savage</title>
      <link>http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe</link>
      <atom:link href="http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Rss.xml?oid=809252&amp;id=comments" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />      <description>Comments On: Hot and Safe
    
      by Dan Savage</description>
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      <pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:00:01 -0800</pubDate>
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          <item>
    
    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#817743]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#817743]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Jorma]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Before trashing the article, its method, its conclusion, it would probably help if you would read it first.  As someone who HAS read the study, its much more sophisticated and qualified then the media blurb, and certainly the discussion on this forum.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Jorma]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:39:24 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#813449]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#813449]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Rick S.]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[I learned the truth at 17/That love was made for beauty queens...
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Rick S.]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:08:01 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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          <item>
    
    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#813396]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#813396]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[jade]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[@22. No, it's a side effect of dating "guys." Dating men is a whole 'nother thing.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by jade]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:53:11 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809790]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809790]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[none]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[@ 1<br />
Before anyone told me I was attractive (and I'm not anymore), I did anything and everything, and was pretty risky. I punished myself for eating, too. Maybe it's just a side effect of dating men.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by none]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:58:23 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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          <item>
    
    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809743]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809743]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[another Andy]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Maybe ugly people should just be happy with other ugly people. Then they wouldn't be so desperate to hook a hottie.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by another Andy]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:39:31 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809692]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809692]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Vince]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Ugly people unite!?!
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Vince]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:20:40 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809474]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809474]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Mahtli69]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA["Ugly and Desperate" would be a more apt title for this post than "Hot and Safe".<br />
<br />
People who can't get any will get it anywhere they can. Duh.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Mahtli69]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:52:02 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809445]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809445]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Gloria]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[My tuition went to this? Fuck! Where's my student centre?
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Gloria]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:41:47 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809411]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809411]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[J.R. Labrador]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Pretty trumphs everything. Duh.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by J.R. Labrador]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:29:19 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809401]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809401]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[tomasyalba]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Awesome that a major university funds such a study.  Oh, in Canada.  You don't say?<br />
<br />
Let's not neglect the professor's hilarious coinage of the term "erotic capital" as the measurement of a person's desirability.  <br />
<br />
I'd like to see if the desirability is determined using a set of objective (and objectively applied) criteria, or if there's some subjectivity in the mix, i.e. cute guy doesn't think he's cute, and so is at risk.  The current issue of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior isn't online with Seattle Public Library databases yet - curses.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by tomasyalba]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:25:29 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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          <item>
    
    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809381]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809381]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Chris down in The Couv]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[@13 - My, you are persistent, aren't you?
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Chris down in The Couv]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:16:59 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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          <item>
    
    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809350]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809350]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Andy Niable]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Breaking News--Unsafe Sex Linked to Low Self-Esteem!<br />
<br />
(Jeebus, how many times do we have to rediscover this?)
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Andy Niable]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:09:56 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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          <item>
    
    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809347]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809347]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Mr. Poe]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[@11<br />
<br />
Pics.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Mr. Poe]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:09:31 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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          <item>
    
    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809334]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809334]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Rex]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[and does basic sex drive and low or high libidio have anything to do with it?<br />
<br />
some gay men are not much interested in marathon sex, I wonder if they are guilt tripped a lot<br />
<br />
others of us can enjoy hundreds of encounters over 30-40 years and never blink - and even remember names and dick configs<br />
<br />
it is just a little pat the gay men are always depicted in some morass state, how trite, and of course we must die at the end of the romance film or book<br />
<br />
bad fathes, too good mommies, there is a long list of suppositions that do not die easily<br />
<br />
by the way the bath house full of mostly naked guys - some in towls - repudiates this survey - PURE democracy in motion<br />
<br />
ask Charles, he will do a treatise about the seul class environment of the gay steam houses
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Rex]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:06:28 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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          <item>
    
    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809333]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809333]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Chris down in The Couv]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[@8 - Li'l ol' me?  Aww, geez Mr. P, you made my day!<br />
<br />
Of course, if I don't exist, then I'd just be posting a picture of nothing, right? ;-)
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Chris down in The Couv]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:05:53 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809307]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809307]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Chris down in The Couv]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[@4 - I think it's more the desperation thing than the low self-esteem thing.  As a gay man, you can feel great about yourself, but you still run into the whole, "Unless I blow him/let him do me w/o a condom, I ain't gettin any" deal.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, there are enough cute younger guys who like older guys to keep the whole situation from becoming too tragic & Morissey-like.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Chris down in The Couv]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:00:22 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809301]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809301]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[TeaHag]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Dozens of men is a low sample number. I think it was irresponsible for the study to draw generalized conclusions from that. I think this is an important issue to look into, and I'm sure the results wouldn't be radically different with a higher sample number, but the study would probably have more credibility if it included more men
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by TeaHag]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:55:43 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809299]]></link>
    
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    <author><![CDATA[Mr. Poe]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[@6<br />
<br />
Pics.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Mr. Poe]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:53:20 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809297]]></link>
    
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    <author><![CDATA[nice]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Finally, validation for all that time you spend at the gym!!!
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by nice]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:51:59 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809296]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809296]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Chris down in The Couv]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[I'd comment here, but I'm 47 and only a little better than average-looking, so I don't exist.  I think, therefore I'm not?
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Chris down in The Couv]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:51:58 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809293]]></link>
    
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    <author><![CDATA[redic]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA["Professor Adam Isaiah Green of sociology interviewed dozens of gay men".  that's a pretty low amount of people to determine something so nebulous and controversial...and isn't obvious that self esteem has a role in most compulsive behavior?
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by redic]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:50:40 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809291]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809291]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[Urgutha Forka]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[What would be more interesting is to know WHY they're engaging in risky behavior? Is it because of a lower self-esteem or because of desperation/fearing rejection? Or something else?
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Urgutha Forka]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:49:59 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809285]]></link>
    
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    <author><![CDATA[Matthew]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[Yep.  This is not news, regardless of the lifestyle.<br />
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Matthew]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:43:41 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809278]]></link>
    
    <guid isPermaLink="true"><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809278]]></guid>
    <author><![CDATA[kitschnsync]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[They probably don't get hired or promoted as easily as pretty boys, either. The ugly tax is universal, and it doesn't just apply to gay men.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by kitschnsync]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:41:07 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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    <title><![CDATA[Re: Hot and Safe]]></title>
    
    
    <link><![CDATA[http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/03/hot_and_safe/#809273]]></link>
    
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    <author><![CDATA[Jason]]></author>
    <description>
      
      <![CDATA[What's new about this? According to my straight brother the fat/less than pretty girls are always the ones that will blow you in the bathroom.
        
        <br />
        
          Posted by Jason]]>
    </description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:38:02 -0800</pubDate> 
    <source url="http://www.thestranger.com">The Stranger</source>
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