http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/12/02/after_a_debate_with_a_co_worke Comments On: After a Debate with a Co-Worker About Whether Domestic Violence or Random Violence is More Tragic by Erica C. Barnett en-us Copyright 2009 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:01 -0800 Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:45:00 -0800 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by brokendad]]> Sat, 29 Aug 2009 18:47:37 -0700 The Stranger here: http://tiny.cc/zpFpu
Posted by rrr]]> Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:16:56 -0800 The Stranger Washington State Domestic Violence Fatal…

Posted by rrr]]> Fri, 05 Dec 2008 15:14:31 -0800 The Stranger
Why is anyone even arguing, they're just trying to get a message out. Some of these responses almost drive me into wanting to read Paglia for chrissake.
Posted by Dougsf]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:09:04 -0800 The Stranger
I agree with you that domestic violence can take many forms -- not just overt violence, but control, manipulation and other attempts at dominance.
Posted by Dawgson]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:42:00 -0800 The Stranger Posted by erly]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:09:06 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Dawgson]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 12:37:01 -0800 The Stranger
And how people get from the idea that everyone should be protected from violence in their home to "everyone hates men!" is beyond me. That's a hell of a leap.

(Oh, and yes, women hit and verbally abuse men and children too. They just are much less likely to cause serious injury, with the exception of the women who finally snap and kill their abusive partners. And women who kill their children/spouses serve FAR more prison time, on average, than men who do the same - look it up. Juries seem to think it's a violation of "basic feminine nature" and punish it more severely.)

How often have you heard of an ex-wife killing her ex-husband and her children, because he had the temerity to leave her? Every time it happens, it gets all kinds of sensationalistic publicity - because it's rare. But a man killing his estranged wife and children happens so often it's completely unremarkable.
Posted by Geni]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:45:37 -0800 The Stranger
In most situations, the man feels he has to show dominance somehow. In extraordinary (and disturbingly common) cases, that usually includes isolating the woman of everything - friends, family, happiness, freedom... seriously. Why do you think LMN exists?
Posted by erly]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 11:44:26 -0800 The Stranger tragic is the wrong question. even most of the discussion here isn't comparing or contrasting what is tragic about each. nor does deciding which is more tragic translate to a policy for dealing with the problems, or preventing the problems, or whatever the issues at hand are.

discussing which is more tragic is both open-ended and highly relative to the specific case. asking which is more of a problem, or which should get more attention from the law, or some specific question about policies might make this discussion more focused.

and, just for internets fun, @55, i don't believe you were a prosecutor.


Posted by infrequent]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 10:12:34 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Dawgson]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 09:58:25 -0800 The Stranger
and what information do you have to prove that DV is "rarely prosecuted"? looked at any stats at all? i don't think that anyone in the DV community in King co. would agree with you.
Posted by toobad]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:58:17 -0800 The Stranger Posted by SEXIST WATCH]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:57:14 -0800 The Stranger
well dude, the fact is that your rights are not in danger, nor are my rights or the rights of any other men out there. and by the way, pointing out that domestic violence more commonly affects women doesn't impact anyones 'rights' at all. you have every social privilege, yet you're demanding more form those who don't, thus essentially kicking those less fortunate than you while their down. so, yeah, that to me is my idea of a wimp and a loser. try putting yourself in other people's shoes, taking the world from their perspective without the benefit of your advantages in life.
Posted by douglas]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:56:09 -0800 The Stranger I thought the problem of the uncooperative victim could be ameliorated if the cops would take lots of pictures of the evidence of the assault. And going out and arresting the victims to bring them to court and MAKE them testify.
But cops don't want to take the time and effort to build a case when they could be easily busting someone for smoking pot or something.
A lot of cops and prosecutors are way to homophobic to deal with male on male violence.
But I think the biggest problem is that you can do more time in prison from smoking some weed than beating the fuck out of a spouse. And I hold cops, the useless courts, and prosecutors guilty of that problem.
Posted by Troy]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:30:22 -0800 The Stranger Posted by SIXTY FUCKING TIMES]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:16:57 -0800 The Stranger
Posted by Bruce Garrett]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 07:53:27 -0800 The Stranger
Don't forget, the cycle of abuse is the abused cum abuser - and perhaps that's the reason King County is closing it's DVU.

Abuse of any sort is not acceptable. (period) - bringing government into the cycle is tyranny (my apologies to Richard Sanders)
Posted by Douglas Tooley]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:44:41 -0800 The Stranger
But I do think they could do a better job of pointing out it's not just heterosexual men who can be abusive pricks. There's enough homosexual men and women being beaten by their partners, and enough kids suffering emotional and physical abuse by their mother, that the ads seem a little shortsighted to me.
Posted by Nate]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 05:11:54 -0800 The Stranger "and I betcha, oh, I betcha that you aren't intending any men to come within a few miles of your son to "pollute" the thinking that you're stuffing into your son's head."
Part of parenting children includes supporting them and giving them space to take in what happens in their world. Positive or negative. In regard to any "pollution" that may get stuffed into our children's heads, in my judgement that would be where the parent provides the understanding and lesson if needed.
@41 Bigotry is always wrong. Always.


Posted by 4f...sake]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:50:25 -0800 The Stranger
@ ECB.... watch your assumptions too! DV assaults are almost always prosecuted even without a cooperating victim, that almost never happens in stranger violence. AND most serious DV assaults were proceeded by multiple telltale incidents where the victim did not take action. I understand the factors of fear and intimidation but a victim who has refused to seek help is on a whole different level than one who never saw it coming.

also @ ECB... KCSO is not phasing out DV investigations [and if you have paid any attention at all you know this is true], they are phasing out a specialty unit. In the future they will be referring those same cases to 'multi-purpose' detectives.... ones who investigate rape, fraud, etc. as opposed to those who only investigate DV cases. If they were phasing out cars that could only be used in certain districts in favor of ones that could go anywhere in the world for the same price you would be cheering them on.

Way to sensationalize!

... ECB deletes the comment critical toward her in 3-2-1....
Posted by ECB is worthless]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:14:34 -0800 The Stranger
It seems like you've gone way past the subject of the post, but I think the actual discussion of the ad campaign is more interesting. I agree that it would be ideal to have an ad that acknowledges other forms of domestic violence (if you go to their website, there's actually a 3rd one that is gender-neutral with regard to who the abuser is). But the fact is that they probably had limited resources and depending on how widespread they are, people may only see one version anyway. What would you have them do--have some hermaphrodite kid on the ad? The ads were aimed at the Dallas market, where apparently 90% of reported DV victims are women.
Posted by Gidge]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:53:59 -0800 The Stranger
Man, why are people so touchy tonight?
Posted by idaho]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:50:35 -0800 The Stranger
Domestic violence on the other hand comes with intent, and because it is not random, is preventable.

Lung cancer by smoking is more tragic than a knot of cancer in your lung that had nothing to do with your choices and your history.

Surely someone can throw the definition of tragic in here?

And there's no such thing as fucked up questions. Only fucked up paths that get us to asking them.
Posted by idaho]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:48:55 -0800 The Stranger Posted by seandr]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:23:37 -0800 The Stranger