http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2008/11/26/what_the_hell_is_wrong_with_st Comments On: What the Hell Is Wrong with Straight Women? by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2009 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:01 -0800 Wed, 25 Nov 2009 08:00:00 -0800 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by K.C. Fennessy]]> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:20:42 -0800 The Stranger Posted by CDMelty]]> Sat, 29 Nov 2008 14:45:49 -0800 The Stranger Posted by myko]]> Sat, 29 Nov 2008 13:58:55 -0800 The Stranger
Vince Vaughn is the friendly, benign drunk guy that you have as a leftover friend from college even though you have nothing in common beyond memories of the time he walked you home and held your hair out of the toilet that one time you got really wasted and brought you a big glass of water and petted your back while you drank it and he let you sleep in his bed and while he may have "accidentally" touched a boob during some hugs he didn't do anything really creepy.

Now he lives in your city. You invite him to your parties every once in a while. You grab a beer every couple months. It's strange how these beer-meetings only happen when you are feeling lonely and jilted and in need of some comforting, familiar male company. He isn't going to want to argue all night like that guy you had to dump when he tried to make you read The Fountainhead. He isn't going to drag you to all the shows of this cool indie band, and put songs of this indie band on mix cds he makes for you, and talk to you all the time about this indie band, and then when you finally succumb and actually start liking their songs, mock you for being a "follower." Vince Vaughn is going to buy the drinks. He will tell you that you look nice. He will tell an amusing tale or two.

And once a year you will get this crazy idea in your head that it would be a good idea to make out with him. Why not? What's a little rolling around between good, comforting, old friends who knew you when you flunked Macroeconomics? So you kiss him outside the bar, and this is when you remember:

Vince Vaughn is the laziest, most slobbery, most limp-weird-tongue-mashing repulsive kisser in the world. He tastes like a cross between jalapeno poppers and stale beer. Before his giant sweaty hands can engulf you, you must break away...just lean back...take a step....someone help...you can't breathe....

Finally you are free. Vince is looking all dopey and hopeful and a little smug, and you have to apologize and say "I've had too much to drink, I'm so sorry, I should really get a cab" and he will say "Aw, no worries, let me call one for you" and he will put you in the cab and never ever mention the awkward thing that happens.

And this is why you keep him around, sort of, in the periphery of your life. So the makers of romantic comedies are brilliant - the combination of loneliness, boredom, and vague dissatisfaction that would make you drop $10 on a crappy romantic comedy so you can feel guilty and superior to it later is the exact reason that you would call your old friend Vince and ask him to meet you for a beer.
Posted by JenniferP]]> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 22:52:53 -0800 The Stranger Posted by sad]]> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:17:27 -0800 The Stranger Posted by cynic]]> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 18:05:23 -0800 The Stranger Posted by shannon murphy]]> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 17:02:57 -0800 The Stranger Posted by M]]> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 11:11:59 -0800 The Stranger Posted by M]]> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 11:11:10 -0800 The Stranger
Take "Zack and Miri Make a Porno". In movieland, the girl doesn't have sex with the other guy and moons over Seth Rogan, lives in his room for 3 months while thinking of him.

In real life, chicks forget about dudes in a few hours and would sleep with the other guy and then his friend as well.

That's a movie that's got to be made.
Posted by John Bailo]]> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 08:38:02 -0800 The Stranger Posted by JT]]> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 08:33:21 -0800 The Stranger Posted by elswinger]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 20:38:32 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Not a fan of Dan or Vince]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 20:36:59 -0800 The Stranger Posted by RC]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:20:24 -0800 The Stranger
The Breakup? That's not a romantic comedy, and Vaughan is perfectly cast in it.

Wedding Crashers? That's just a funny fucking movie, and Owen is the "romantic" lead if there is one.

Dodgeball?

Any movies that are marketed to women?

The premise of this post is off base.
Posted by RC]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:14:39 -0800 The Stranger Posted by yummydoughnut]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 11:52:21 -0800 The Stranger
what i would give for another carol burnett, or a lucille ball - some woman who was interesting and funny without being a cupcake. apparently only men get paid for that.
Posted by happyhedonist]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 11:36:54 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Straight Male]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 11:09:54 -0800 The Stranger
@42: I think you may be right that Obama is the only educated, attractive straight guy left.

@64: Gael Garcia Bernal is so beautiful, isn't he? He actually looks a lot like the Italian teacher I had a crush on in college. He made it a bit hard to concentrate.


Posted by Jo]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 10:45:00 -0800 The Stranger
I suspect he keeps getting cast because he's a known commodity. The studios know pretty much exactly how he's going to be in any role. He's safe: most people aren't wild about him, but most don't actively hate him.
Posted by missymiss]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 10:39:04 -0800 The Stranger Posted by elswinger]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 10:13:03 -0800 The Stranger
And Jon Stewart has haunted my dreams since high school (for some reason I've got this thing for funny Jewish men; hi, Professor Cohen!).
Posted by Gloria]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 09:19:07 -0800 The Stranger
I agree that his appeal is more to the straight man, in that they see themselves in him, and do not feel threatened, as they might by say, Hugh Jackman, who is by far more attractive, or John Cusack, who is by far, more interesting and a better actor (but he would never stoop to making a movie like Dodgeball). So if they throw Vince into the romantic comedy, the guys won't mind so much if their girlfriends drag them to see it.

@58 - Big shout out for Vincent D'Onofrio! Yeah, he's pudged out some, but back in the day, he was my dream man, and a VERY talented actor. Second only to Kevin Spacey who has always rocked my world (yeah, I've heard the rumours, but who cares), I find him talented AND good looking. And my, but Robert Downey Junior has cleaned up well.

However, that said, I live for Tuesday nights, and an hour of Hugh Laurie and Robert Sean Leonard on House.





Posted by Charm]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 09:04:53 -0800 The Stranger
Casting Vince Vaughn in Four Christmases is a nakedly obvious marketing ploy to get the boyfriends and husbands to see this formulaic piece of crap along w/ their girlfriends and wives, who according to the geniuses in Hollywood all wanna be Reese Witherspoon. Hollywood makes products not art.

That said. I don't find Mr. Vaughn the least bit attractive, but I don't have nothing against him either. I don't think I've ever seen any of his movies. His image is way too frat guy for me.

There really aren't too many male movie actors these days that do anything for me. Cary Grant's pretty cool though, especially if he came equipped w/ the clever dialogue from his movies. Gael Garcia Bernal (Geez, did I spell that right?) is the most attractive being on the planet. Bad Education was a real treat because fimmaker Almodovar really showcased Bernal's body in various scenes. George Clooney is good looking and funny and has pretty good politics. That's about all I can think of.

Looks alone aren't enough. There has to be some kind of presence--hard to nail (nice word choice) what that is exactly--but it's a way a person carries his or her self, what they say, the look in their eye. Most Hollywood directors have a flair for killing that kind of presence, or more accurately, shaping it into a marketable product.
Posted by know-it-all]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 09:02:56 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Karey]]> Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:25:34 -0800 The Stranger