http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/02/18/sl-letter-of-the-day-the-boyfriends-away Comments On: SL Letter of the Day: The College Try by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Sat, 25 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Sat, 25 May 2013 18:45:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by venomlash]]> Fri, 22 Feb 2013 10:05:22 -0800 The Stranger
@40: Maybe not. I think Dan's overestimating the power of guilt, though.
Posted by Chase]]> Wed, 20 Feb 2013 14:58:58 -0800 The Stranger Posted by thecheesegirl]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 23:20:59 -0800 The Stranger
You're not really arguing with Dan here.
Posted by undead ayn rand]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 20:21:43 -0800 The Stranger
What I meant is that CIC should not ask the girlcrush if she'll sleep with the boyfriend. And she shouldn't allow the boyfriend to think that this is possible. It's not possible -- the other woman is a lesbian.
Posted by EricaP]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 19:48:16 -0800 The Stranger
Where are people getting this idea that the bf is so likely to agree to the proposal? Most young men are a lot more interested in getting pussy themselves than they are in enabling their girlfriend to get some. Sure, there's some wank material to be had from thinking about your girl burying her face in another girl thousands of miles away - but the boy is a lot more likely to agree if (a) he's likely to score soon himself and wants the free pass or (b) he thinks there's a chance he'll benefit directly when he returns home. But unless one of those two things is the case, it wouldn't surprise me if he said no. Most people want to have sex a lot more than they want to help their partner have sex, and most people don't like feeling left out.
Posted by Chase]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 14:11:42 -0800 The Stranger Posted by EricaP]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:43:25 -0800 The Stranger
No and no. Why would you even go there?
Posted by EricaP]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:42:27 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Chase]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:21:12 -0800 The Stranger
Mostly / entirely straight males and females have so much same-sex situational sex in certain situations -- English boarding schools in the 1930s, prisons, Oberlin College -- that the same-sex "ewww" factor obviously is made up / a cultural response -- or at least is no greater than for anyone having sex for the first time, whether with same gender or other gender.
Posted by delta35]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:17:34 -0800 The Stranger
Today's research, even major studies, use a survey and rarely "plumb the depths." Next, only some surveys ask about lifetime behavior now, most just focus on the past year. Many just ask "are you gay/straight/bi" and so *only* get at self-identification -- which is about 2% gay for males.

> Science suggests there are even fewer (male) bisexuals than there are gays!

Actually, today's science shows that bi-identified males are almost as rare as unicorns. But bi males go way up if you look at the research that looks at behavior (look at MSM on pubmed). The problem is that media summaries of the science usually get it all wrong / oversimplified.

Kinsey's work was in a way much more in depth than modern research. But it had faults too. There is no exact science when it comes to sex, as Kinsey said, we're all snowflakes. (Or was that gall wasps?)

Another wrinkle -- probably more situational male-on-male adolescent sex in the 1950s, whereas more of today's adolescent males can get it on with adolescent females.
Posted by delta35]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:10:37 -0800 The Stranger I like my own parts.
But my face in someone else's pussy? That would freak me out.
Posted by migrationist]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:32:40 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Indighost]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:07:02 -0800 The Stranger Posted by LMcGuff]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 10:32:16 -0800 The Stranger "... who doesn't really present a threat to your relationship because she's a lesbian and you're straight and blah blah blah..." I read that completely as an eyeroll from Dan. With maybe a little weariness at the cliche.
Posted by aureolaborealis]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 10:02:50 -0800 The Stranger
Mmmm warm blue cheese.
Posted by debug]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 09:54:42 -0800 The Stranger Posted by gttrgst]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 09:41:50 -0800 The Stranger Posted by nocutename]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 09:21:59 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Banna]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 09:15:53 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Jerry M. Ander]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:25:37 -0800 The Stranger Posted by gttim]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 07:19:08 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Clara T]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 07:16:08 -0800 The Stranger
"Tell your boyfriend about this girl who doesn't really present a threat to your relationship because she's a lesbian and you're straight and blah blah blah..."

is not only the sort of mediocrity one expects more from Ms Prudie than from Mr Savage, but also ought to strike anyone with a good sense of cliche that leading with She Isn't a Threat is the surest path to LW discovering that she's mistaken about that.

I think I have a double standard on this one because just by nature of societal advantages a possible opposite-sex relationship constitutes an almost automatic threat in reversed situations.
Posted by vennominon]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 05:28:10 -0800 The Stranger Posted by crone]]> Tue, 19 Feb 2013 00:12:55 -0800 The Stranger Posted by seatackled]]> Mon, 18 Feb 2013 23:20:41 -0800 The Stranger