http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/02/07/sl-letter-of-the-day-you-cucked-up Comments On: SL Letter of the Day: You Cucked Up by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Wed, 19 Jun 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Wed, 19 Jun 2013 18:45:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss
I suppose that I can relate to the 'mos who check out a column only to find no letters of interest, as the problems are irrelevant to their lives: Dan seemed to hit a spate of sexless marriage questions a while back that I found uninteresting, and I didn't even bother with the columns about poly-as-orientation. Not every issue is going to have everyone enthralled.

On the other hand, I know that some hets get squicked out by the very topic of gay sex...but why the hell do they read this column then? For me the perfect Savage Love has a little straight, a little gay, and a little squick.

Or a lot of squick. The squickier the better I say.
Posted by Ophian]]> Fri, 08 Feb 2013 13:21:06 -0800 The Stranger Posted by very bad homo]]> Fri, 08 Feb 2013 13:10:03 -0800 The Stranger
The details of the letters never bother me much; I had such a specialized sex life that I almost never see anything from any LW to which I can relate directly in that regard. I've no complaints, but I have no more connection with letters concerning the "standard" MM letters than I do with anything one or more Fs can devise.

The one pro-straight thing I can say, and sorry if it seems too faint by way of praise, is that at least here the overall level of straight entitlement to be the focus of everybody's time, attention and best efforts is lower than it is almost anywhere else. It's not enough to make me feel hopeful, but at least it's instructive.
Posted by vennominon]]> Fri, 08 Feb 2013 12:08:59 -0800 The Stranger Posted by lewlew]]> Fri, 08 Feb 2013 10:58:43 -0800 The Stranger
That he find it like a car wreck - horrible to see but you can't turn away - says less about Dan (working at our relationship crashes as some sort of sexual EMT?) and more about the BLW's self control - "I hate it, but I keep coming back." because, as the links show, there are pure-as-the-rainbow-colored-driven-snow options.
Posted by DAVIDinKENAI]]> Fri, 08 Feb 2013 08:55:20 -0800 The Stranger
In this world where gay people are still struggling for equality it's nice to see we are all equal in one area. We are all equally fucked up.

And again, speaking for myself, I have no desire to be edgy. I much prefer to be fulfilled. My marriage, as hum drum and vanilla as that may make me in some folks eyes, makes me feel fulfilled. I leave the need to be edgy for the more desperate folks out there.
Posted by Fortunate]]> Fri, 08 Feb 2013 08:32:22 -0800 The Stranger Posted by vennominon]]> Fri, 08 Feb 2013 05:01:10 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Spaint]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 22:10:45 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Susan]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 21:49:56 -0800 The Stranger
@26: thank you for that; I just about died laughing.
Posted by Susan]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 21:48:20 -0800 The Stranger aarurguhhh? He sounds like a gay pirate.
Posted by Roma]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 18:23:06 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Matt from Denver]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 17:57:50 -0800 The Stranger Posted by iluvgays]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 17:50:29 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Bonefish]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 17:34:24 -0800 The Stranger Posted by lolorhone]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 17:17:22 -0800 The Stranger Posted by sirkowski]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 16:42:18 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Mark in Colorado]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 16:31:47 -0800 The Stranger
I'm so thankful I've never been confused about my sexuality.
Posted by Mark in Colorado]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 16:30:31 -0800 The Stranger Posted by OutInBumF]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 16:17:32 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Delishuss]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 16:00:09 -0800 The Stranger
I do not side with Mr MIM (granted my interest can wear thin after too long a run of heterocentrism from Mr Savage, but that rarely happens, and when it does I just push myself into being more homonormative than comes entirely naturally to me), but can make a point for him with reference to Emma. Readers such as Mr MacTavish above get invited to Hartfield and Donwell and Randalls, where they get to mix with the cream of Highbury society. The same-sexers with nothing to say about or no interest in opposite-sexer problems get packed off to Miss Bates, or Mrs Goddard, or the Coles, or even - shock! horror! - the vicarage. While it is hardly obligatory, it could be considered gracious for those with the good fortune to be offered a bowl of gruel by Mr Woodhouse and supplied far more adequately by his daughter to spare a thought for those forced to put up with being patronized by Mrs Elton.

Back to the ideal world, where one could be an exclusively same-sexer resource and be as richly remunerated as an opposite-sexer resource, even there, Mr Savage has tastes a little too catholic to suit such a role. And that is fine. Probably it's even necessary, although it can at times feel rather as if we're being pushed to the back of the line AGAIN even when it's not really the case. Be given crumbs too often and one starts to anticipate them.

So now, having done little besides convince myself that there will never be true equality in the world (except perhaps for women), I have nothing left to say other than to absolve Mr Savage of all blame, hope that he's more right than I am, and try to sleep without the palliative of tears. Dormez bien.
Posted by vennominon]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:57:17 -0800 The Stranger Posted by persimmon]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:46:02 -0800 The Stranger Posted by ThetaSigma]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:29:36 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:26:38 -0800 The Stranger Posted by addiemonroe]]> Thu, 07 Feb 2013 15:13:59 -0800 The Stranger