http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/02/02/sl-letter-of-the-day-independent-but-in-love Comments On: SL Letter of the Day: Independent But In Love by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Fri, 24 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Fri, 24 May 2013 17:45:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by Lissa]]> Tue, 05 Feb 2013 20:48:21 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Angrybeaver]]> Tue, 05 Feb 2013 13:51:38 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Neptune]]> Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:06:38 -0800 The Stranger Just. Too. MUCH!!!

Many the wildlife marriage has been saved by separate burrows. True fact.
Posted by Lissa]]> Mon, 04 Feb 2013 18:32:22 -0800 The Stranger Yes it's first world problems, but so it is: if being married ever means sharing a bedroom, I'll be single the next month.
Posted by Moggadeet]]> Mon, 04 Feb 2013 15:38:29 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Angrybeaver]]> Mon, 04 Feb 2013 06:42:51 -0800 The Stranger

Posted by smajor82]]> Mon, 04 Feb 2013 06:17:23 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Angrybeaver]]> Mon, 04 Feb 2013 04:26:18 -0800 The Stranger
People need their space. Some a little, some a lot. I don't think you're "doomed" if you want some private space. How to get that in a balanced way that makes you both happy and doesn't strain your finances can be difficult to figure out.
Posted by Ms. D]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 12:50:05 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Ricardo]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 10:27:20 -0800 The Stranger Posted by explodedview]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 09:46:30 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Get Real]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 08:30:31 -0800 The Stranger
Two can live together more cheaply than two living apart. A 1BR is less than double two studios in most cities. Rent can be combined for a mortgage -- if you're together more than 5 years, building net equity (even if you wind up not being together forever).

Even if they both own already, in many parts of the country, a single large property appreciates faster than two smaller properties and in most areas substantially lower carrying costs that two residences (in NYC for instance, price per square foot goes *up* as apartment square footage increases; in suburban and rural markets, two houses means two roofs to maintain, two hot water heaters, ...).

A LTR / partnership can have financial benefits as well as emotional ones. LW was 30 living in a studio apt. -- maybe by choice, but probably she was not at the income level where she would never have to worry about retirement, nor at an income level where the savings of coupled living would be trivial.

Some people just aren't cut out for coupled living, and happiness is important -- my point is that future financial welfare is also one important piece of one's well being.
Posted by delta35]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 08:09:04 -0800 The Stranger
Incompatibility does not always require one to make judgments on character or morality or fault. Sometimes people are just incompatible as a matter of style or personality.
Posted by Alanmt]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 08:07:43 -0800 The Stranger Posted by James6]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 07:08:42 -0800 The Stranger
Neither of us ever felt entitled to criticise the other's living arrangements, whether it be housekeeping skills, staying up late, having noisy parties etc. because we didn't have to be there or put up with it if we didn't want to.

At any point, either of us could say: 'I need some headspace: I'll come back tomorrow,' and go home for a while, and the other would understand. We had a set arrangement that we would always spend Saturday afternoon and evening together, whether quietly at home together, or going out.

This all made it a lot easier when we needed to move in together for financial reasons. We were already pretty accustomed to living in each other's space, and dealing with each other's ways of doing things. Which is not to say that there were no tensions - of course there were - but it was pretty painless on the whole.
Posted by Megaera]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 06:15:08 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Fishface]]> Sun, 03 Feb 2013 05:41:23 -0800 The Stranger I'm not saying it's inherently a bad idea ... just sharing my data point.
Posted by aureolaborealis]]> Sat, 02 Feb 2013 23:39:29 -0800 The Stranger https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTxUG-aG…
Posted by cowboyinbrla]]> Sat, 02 Feb 2013 23:35:17 -0800 The Stranger Posted by bugwitch]]> Sat, 02 Feb 2013 20:56:46 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Lissa]]> Sat, 02 Feb 2013 20:20:30 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Clayton]]> Sat, 02 Feb 2013 19:45:44 -0800 The Stranger Posted by sirkowski]]> Sat, 02 Feb 2013 18:12:05 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Lissa]]> Sat, 02 Feb 2013 17:55:52 -0800 The Stranger Posted by LaSargenta]]> Sat, 02 Feb 2013 17:26:14 -0800 The Stranger