http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/01/13/sl-letter-of-the-day-skin-to-skin-contact Comments On: SL Letter of the Day: Skin-to-Skin Contact by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Tue, 21 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Tue, 21 May 2013 20:00:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss
When we met, it was instantly obvious he had no real interest in me, since I didn't look like the hottie in his mind. He accused me of being false and phoney. I was too nice and non-confrontational to tell him the truth: I didn't think I had to be hot, since he's not. Not to mention I had way more going for me than him in every other area (IMHO).

Looks aside, it sounds like the letter writer misrepresented the nature of his feelings for the girl. Cut her lose quickly and painlessly as possible, so she can find someone who appreciates her. If you have to lie to someone to get them to sleep with you, you're a loser.
Posted by TheOtherWoman]]> Wed, 16 Jan 2013 20:38:47 -0800 The Stranger
Everyone does it … dab a little color to hide a blemish, a wrinkle, a grey hair or three … take ten to twenty snaps before we upload the best for color-smearing by Instagram … hire a cleaning lady (or Mom) to come over the morning before the “one” that might stay over …

Yet … all of us complain when WE’RE the one waking up next to someone a little lower on the bed notch caste system.

Why can’t we admit it? We’re all a little fascist when it comes to fucking. Take a “wahhh!” coupon and get over it. You’ve just been had by nature’s little plot to improve the gene pool.

Posted by Phantom]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 20:22:34 -0800 The Stranger Posted by gnot]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 19:08:10 -0800 The Stranger Posted by guy's not a total POS]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 16:24:58 -0800 The Stranger
This does not mean that you owe her a relationship. Three months of texting and one weekend of sex is not a commitment. If something isn't going to work out, forcing it isn't going to help.

But she has every reason to be unhappy, even if your hands were completely clean, which they most definitely are not. And pointing an accusing finger at the photos is not going to help your situation at all. It isn't going to make the breakup any easier on her, and it isn't going to justify your case. It might teach her not to do that in the future, but the present situation is just going to have to be what it is. Both of you have things to answer for, and there is no convenient escape hatch.
Posted by avast2006]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 14:14:02 -0800 The Stranger
When you're basing your ideas of somebody off of a still photograph and a lot of fantasy, the reality isn't going to match what you're expecting because you're not expecting reality. Meet up in person as soon as possible to avoid the crash of an elaborate fantasy.
Posted by Zuulabelle]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 09:32:21 -0800 The Stranger On the other hand, I can recall a situation in my own youth where I faced a choice of sex or no sex with a woman in a comparable (but not parallel) situation where the choice was really "sex or say `no' which will be the same is kicking a fucking puppy in front of an orphan" and so sex to get past the problem now and discuss it later seemed the least cruel route to take. It was the stupid route to take, but I can recall being placed in an impossible situation by the girl in question but later I was the only one she felt had ANY moral responsibility for the sex that shouldn't have happened.

He should have said no, but I recall my own experience and wonder if demanding that of him was a counsel of perfection: he's not the only person with agency and responsibility here.

Posted by seeker6079]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 07:55:31 -0800 The Stranger Posted by gttim]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 06:10:10 -0800 The Stranger
Forget about the static images--> webcam, real-time communication.
Posted by Falcor]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 03:14:54 -0800 The Stranger
The real problem is not the girl's pictures, which as #25 mentioned were probably not deceptive at all.

The problem is that he maintained a "relationship" for 3 months with a girl who, under the asumption that meeting and fucking would seal the deal on a LTR, did accept to meet and fuck . He knew beforehand of her asumption ("it would break her heart") and I bet he never told her that meeting and fucking would, in the best case, upgrade it to a FWB situation, but never to a LTR.

Now that the fucking's done, he suddenly remembers that a LTR was never on the table on his side, and invokes the pictures' inaccuracy to beg Dan on how to drop her without being seen as the POS that he is.

Answer : there's no way not to look like a POS when one behaves as one.

If you don't want to be a POS next time, email your prospective partners from the start that a LTR is not on the table. Don't be a lying manipulative asshole.
Posted by sissoucat]]> Mon, 14 Jan 2013 01:45:41 -0800 The Stranger Good point.
Posted by migrationist]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:39:24 -0800 The Stranger Posted by catfish the documentary was fully scripted as well]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:33:02 -0800 The Stranger Posted by rebeccax]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 19:00:24 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Ballard Pimp]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 18:06:22 -0800 The Stranger http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2d6_13577…
Posted by agony]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 17:29:53 -0800 The Stranger Dan, Pat Robertson is now answering letters presumably written to the advice columnist for Maxim. I love this. I want him to provide alternate answers to your letters too, and am hoping you will invite him to do so. Let the best sage win! http://www.salon.com/2013/01/11/pat_robe…]

Posted by Phoebe]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 16:10:58 -0800 The Stranger Posted by harmonyak]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 16:10:03 -0800 The Stranger Posted by OutInBumF]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 16:07:48 -0800 The Stranger
I don't think there's much to see here.
Posted by skyweaver]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 15:12:02 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Dr.Duck]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:45:18 -0800 The Stranger Posted by eclexia]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:25:17 -0800 The Stranger
It's why you so often see total nutcases on Judge Judy--because small claims court is dead boring unless you handpick the cases.
Posted by Sketch]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:23:43 -0800 The Stranger Posted by I have always been... east coaster]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 13:55:36 -0800 The Stranger Posted by giffy]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 13:47:27 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Puckerd Poop Chute]]> Sun, 13 Jan 2013 13:18:25 -0800 The Stranger