http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2013/01/07/youre-a-sex-addict-im-a-sex-addict-were-all-sex-addicts Comments On: You're a Sex Addict, I'm a Sex Addict, We're All Sex Addicts by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Wed, 22 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Wed, 22 May 2013 21:15:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Posted by Annanicoleredpony]]> Sat, 12 Jan 2013 05:15:18 -0800 The Stranger
Many neurologists accept that sex addiction is correlated with the same kinds of neurological states as cocaine or meth addiction. Once you get inside the brain, the effects are very much the same, whether those effects are precipitated by drugs or by activities like sex, gambling, or binging.

Dr. Howard Shaffer at Harvard: “Although it is possible to debate whether we should include substance or process addictions [i.e. drug addictions versus sex/gambling/binging addictions] within the kingdom of addiction, technically there is little choice. Just as the use of exogenous substances precipitate impostor molecules vying for receptor sites within the brain, human activities stimulate naturally occurring neurotransmitters. The activity of these naturally occurring psychoactive substances likely will be determined as important mediators of many process addictions.”

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles…
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22641…

Just because it sounds vaguely sex-negative doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just because some idiot made up an online test that gives too many false positives doesn't mean it doesn't exist. (Online IQ tests tend to say that we're all geniuses; that doesn't mean there's no such thing as intelligence...)
Posted by JenniferC]]> Thu, 10 Jan 2013 19:45:09 -0800 The Stranger 10. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
18. Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
(yep, from my children, dummy)
26. Has sex (or romantic fantasies) been a way for you to escape your problems?
45. After sexually acting out, do you sometimes refrain from all sex for a significant period?

But those don't :
8. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
9. Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior?
36. Have you been sexual with minors?

Are these people trying to explain away crimes through "sex-addiction" ?
Posted by sissoucat]]> Thu, 10 Jan 2013 01:12:44 -0800 The Stranger
My personal opinion is that therapists will continue to inch closer towards acceptance of some type of sex addiction. After all, addiction--as I stated above with endorphins--is a natural part of existence. Not only would most people find themselves to be sex addicts when taking a test, most people would find out they're alcoholics or drugs addicts (even if they are not). These tests are just a tool to help understand what is happening, and to assist in a treatment plan, but they are not the end all, final say on the subject.

What makes addiction bad is when it's destroying a person's life. Addiction can be chemical, habitual, or behavioral (enjoying the first drag off a cigarette, the joy of bringing a glass of whiskey to your lips), and within that context, compulsive sexuality does have a home. Simply dismissing it as a lack of will power is what most people who are suffering from mental illness or addiction encounter frequently. If they have such a lack of will power, why do these people have jobs? Why do they get graduate degrees from school? Why do they make their mortgage and car payments? Why do they have children whom they love? If they come to you insisting there is a problem, and it's different from every other aspect in their life, why can they not be right? Simply because you don't have the answer to fix them does not mean there is no answer, or that the all powerful will power is the fix.
Posted by foodmart]]> Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:22:06 -0800 The Stranger
Could 12-step be better? Probably. Should we enshrine it as a sacred institution immune to change? Heck no. Should we treat it as a scientifically proven method that is absolutely right and should not be questioned? Also heck no. Does it work so much of the time that we shouldn't chuck it out the window? Heck yes.
Posted by DRF]]> Wed, 09 Jan 2013 08:55:03 -0800 The Stranger Posted by mshawn]]> Wed, 09 Jan 2013 07:24:29 -0800 The Stranger
Also, we shouldn't forget that orgasms flood our brains with a cocktail of chemicals. Becoming psychologically dependent on that chemical cocktail to feel good is not a far cry. Hell, there's even some evidence that cumming too much (for guys at least) can deplete neurotransmitters, leaving you physically exhausted the next day.
Posted by Roofeo]]> Wed, 09 Jan 2013 00:11:35 -0800 The Stranger
Change of any sort is very difficult, but it is ultimately up to the person with a harmful habit to make the decision and fight for it.
Posted by BlackRose]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 22:13:36 -0800 The Stranger
"Have you used the Internet to make romantic or erotic connections with people online? "

How the fuck else does one do *anything* online, if not on the internet?
Posted by JudT]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 20:37:37 -0800 The Stranger
I see how the phrase "addiction" is problematic, and how stupid the quiz is, and all that, but everyone laughing in their faces is even more problematic.
Posted by mtnlion]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 18:57:28 -0800 The Stranger
At least according to that test. I was an 8 on their scoring system which was way down the tail of their chart and seemingly under both the sex addict and non sex addict curves. Anyway, I am sure that their methodology is at least as precise as that of the Scientologists whose test this most closely resembled.
Posted by Learned Hand]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 18:06:10 -0800 The Stranger Posted by BlackRose]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 16:59:28 -0800 The Stranger Posted by gnot]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 10:09:45 -0800 The Stranger
I hate virtually every aspect of the 12-step model, but it has gained such popularity and been given such legitimacy that any time I try to criticize it I'm dismissed on all sides.

I recently got into an argument over whether or not compulsive sexual behavior was an addiction with a commenter on the Savage Love thread, so I don't want to jump in again, but certainly "tests" like this one (yay for me: I scored only a 9, so only a little addicted), and the resultant "treatment" they lead to, do far more harm than good for most people.

This is not to say I don't think that there are people for whom compulsive sexual behavior is a real problem, really getting them into legal trouble, costing jobs and relationships, and affecting self-image and self-esteem. To have people's true struggle diminished by this sex-negative, slut-shaming attitude, especially under the guise of mental health, is a travesty. But even in the cases for those who have lost a lot to the gratification of destructive urges, I hesitate to use the word addiction.
Posted by nocutename]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 10:01:47 -0800 The Stranger http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10540…

As far as I can tell, 12-step programs have helped few to no people; it appears more likely that people in 12-step programs get better despite the program, not because of it. This might, in part, be why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has become so popular recently - it actually works.
Posted by John Horstman]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 09:44:16 -0800 The Stranger
Yes, there are people who just like porn, think it's wrong, and then label themselves as sex addicts. But there are also people who are constantly struggling with compulsions to have sex. Who masturbate so often that their dicks are chaffed and sore. People who, like alcoholics or drug addicts, don't want to be doing what they are doing, but don't know how to stop.

Maybe this question should be on the test: "have you ever thought about your sexual activity and contemplated suicide?" There are a lot of people who would answer yes and all the trite little comments people make trivializing their suffering does little to help.
Posted by smajor82]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 05:59:44 -0800 The Stranger
So of course we all want to get laid a lot, but that does not make us addicts, any more than wanting to eat a few times a day makes us addicted to food.

But the person ditching/losing his job and family life repeatedly to have sex even though the consequences destroy his life, may be a sexual compulsive, even if he does not necessarily have more sex than someone else.

Addiction is based more upon consequence and compulsion more than simple action, and of course no simple test can give you any real answers. The question is: do you engage in compulsive sexual acts despite elevating or bad consequences because of those actions, and are you unable to stop?
Posted by Theodore Gorath]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 05:50:28 -0800 The Stranger Posted by mshawn]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 03:17:20 -0800 The Stranger Posted by sugarcaine]]> Tue, 08 Jan 2013 01:18:13 -0800 The Stranger
You can be addicted to anything. But the measure of addiction is compulsively doing something where the negatives outweigh the positives. And saying one is using the term "addiction" as a crutch doesn't really make sense, unless you can explain how it is any different from other recognized forms of addiction. Unless you want to limit addiction purely to physical addiction, but you can be an alcoholic without being physically addicted to alcohol.

I think the problem is that too many people are using the term "sex addiction" too loosely. But that doesn't mean there aren't people who are truly addicted to sex. But remember, if your sex life is positive, then you are not addicted to it. It's not a matter of how much you do it, but whether or not it is harming your life. But if your sexual habits are making you miserable or seriously endangering your life, then yes, you do have a problem. And that problem may or may not be best described through the model of addiction.

However, I don't like the 12 steps model personally. It works for some people, and that is great, but it wouldn't be my first choice for anyone.
Posted by uncreative]]> Mon, 07 Jan 2013 22:54:41 -0800 The Stranger
I mean, I spend way too much time checking my smartphone, but that doesn't mean "smartphone addiction" is a thing.
Posted by Whoop Di Doo]]> Mon, 07 Jan 2013 22:46:37 -0800 The Stranger
I mean, so many of those could apply to ANYONE. "Do you use sex or romantic fantasies to escape your problems?" Um, who DOESN'T?
Posted by Whoop Di Doo]]> Mon, 07 Jan 2013 22:40:47 -0800 The Stranger Like any other website designed to sell a product, they're hustling 'therapy' to cure an addiction that doesn't exist.
This reminds me of the Repressed Memories fad in counseling/psychotherapy during the late 80's to early '90's. Many a parent's life was ruined because of false (ie: counselor induced) memories of any number of horrible things.
Oh- and food addictions of any kind.
Posted by OutInBumF]]> Mon, 07 Jan 2013 22:18:41 -0800 The Stranger
Well, I scored a 2, which apparently put me in the center of "non-clinical." Of course, I also have not had sex since 2003, so I'd wager that makes me more of a deviant (broadly speaking) than anyone else here.
Posted by Wandergeist]]> Mon, 07 Jan 2013 21:08:57 -0800 The Stranger Posted by fubar]]> Mon, 07 Jan 2013 20:42:17 -0800 The Stranger