http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/12/13/sl-letter-of-the-day-fighting-ugly Comments On: SL Letter of the Day: Fighting Ugly by Dan Savage en-us Copyright 2013 The Stranger. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, The Stranger readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact The Stranger. webmaster@thestranger.com (The Stranger Webmaster) Thu, 23 May 2013 00:00:01 -0700 Thu, 23 May 2013 18:15:00 -0700 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss
Start hanging out somewhere else. For serious.
Posted by umnist]]> Wed, 19 Dec 2012 11:24:25 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Sandiai]]> Sun, 16 Dec 2012 15:51:56 -0800 The Stranger Posted by pavloviandoggy]]> Sat, 15 Dec 2012 22:04:05 -0800 The Stranger
And #14 have you thought about trying another therapist?
Posted by msanonymous]]> Sat, 15 Dec 2012 15:50:32 -0800 The Stranger

Posted by Corylea]]> Fri, 14 Dec 2012 10:09:45 -0800 The Stranger Posted by theman]]> Fri, 14 Dec 2012 07:01:26 -0800 The Stranger Posted by thene]]> Fri, 14 Dec 2012 02:15:09 -0800 The Stranger
And a word on cruel guys in their 20's: yes, they suck. But let's not forget that there are cruel girls, too. Taking sadistic pleasure in ridiculing or insulting an awkward and/or not-conventionally-attractive person is not confined to the male of the species. Fortunately, only a minority of 20-somethings are so blatantly cruel, and I agree with Dan that it becomes less common as people get older.
Posted by Functional Atheist]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 22:59:13 -0800 The Stranger
Just let him rationalize his virginity however he wants.
Posted by Bonefish]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 21:36:41 -0800 The Stranger Posted by metanymity]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 20:00:01 -0800 The Stranger
Of course calling a woman in Seattle "Seattle pretty" is not a compliment lads.
Posted by Rodger the Dodger]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:12:23 -0800 The Stranger Posted by LateBloomer]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:50:17 -0800 The Stranger
Sorry fnarf, Seattle womyn are still some of the ugliest on the continental USA even after their Flickr meetup.
Posted by Roger Dodger]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:45:44 -0800 The Stranger
Instead Seattle is filled with bull-dog ugly women, with bad skin and hair who dress like fisherman's wives and walk around with all the charm of bikers. Funny thing is I've met good looking guys here with girlfriends whose faces could peel the paint off the wall they are so unattractive.
Posted by The Chinaman]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:37:57 -0800 The Stranger
I usually prefer less-hot guys as well (don't tell that to Mr. Sandiai).
Posted by Sandiai]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:19:34 -0800 The Stranger
I wish I could say it was limited to dudes in their 20's, too.

But I can say that we aren't all like that. I hope she's found one of us by now.
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 15:33:38 -0800 The Stranger
One thing that I've noticed over the years is that genuinely ugly women are invisible to the type of douchebag who would insult a woman for her looks. So, if the letter writer is getting noticed by these assholes, she's probably not as "ugly" as she thinks she is.
Posted by keshmeshi]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 15:24:57 -0800 The Stranger Plain women (versus men) have it tougher in our world, but it's what's under the skin that makes a beautiful person, not what we see. I hope this young lady has done well after 4 years. These recycled SLLOTD's are frustrating.
Posted by OutInBumF]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 15:10:00 -0800 The Stranger
Ugh... me. Maybe it is a girl thing, but I'll take the average looking guy with brains and humor over the hot, boring dude any day of the week.
Posted by Prof L]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 14:23:01 -0800 The Stranger
Oh bullshit. Ugly dudes often also think that they deserve bikini models and are the bloated piles of crap who post about how "fakers" are entering nerd-dom and polluting their cosplay contests with their "ugliness".

Just because someone's unattractive does not make them have "a good personality" just as much as an attractive person is always an asshole. There are plenty of controlling, narcissistic ugly dudes and ladies.
Posted by generalization hater]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 13:59:20 -0800 The Stranger
People who grew up attractive are well aware of it and tend to think they're too good for the rest of us. My favorite kind of hot is nerd-hot, because nerd-hot teens rarely exist. They're just awkward nerd-nerds. Nerd-hot people come into being in their 20s, don't usually know how hot they really are, and don't think they're too good for anyone.

It can be irritating when it goes too far in the other direction, though. Shitty self esteem in a late-onset hot guy can be a tough, frustrating thing to try and break through. Hearing him tell you how awesome you are and what an unworthy loser he is gets tiresome, no matter how much you try to ignore it or tell him it's not true. Eventually all you can do to save your own sanity is throw up your hands, say, "Fine, whatever," and walk away.
Posted by Chelydra_serpentina]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 13:05:20 -0800 The Stranger Posted by Bonefish]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 12:55:00 -0800 The Stranger
With that said, Anonymous you are only 22. You're not Victoria Beckham, so what. Hopefully you will find hobbies and things you are good at which will make your physical attractiveness less important. Please please get help. I would be really curious to see how she is doing now.
Posted by lizlemon]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 12:54:00 -0800 The Stranger Posted by EricaP]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 12:50:57 -0800 The Stranger
But @14 has a big point. Body issues, especially if they began in childhood are very difficult to get past, and tend to remain a hot button issue. We all have them, and if we are in a good relationship, our partner will take care around those points. If we are in a bad one, our partner will take delight in pressing that button on a regular basis.

I so wish there would be a follow-up on this letter.
Posted by SeattleKim]]> Thu, 13 Dec 2012 12:48:47 -0800 The Stranger