Via dailymail.com:

A baby penguin which had to be separated from its family after a greedy sibling continually ate all its food has found companionship - with this stuffed toy.

The penguin - called Pingu - began to lose weight and appeared weak after its bigger relative regularly helped himself to all the fish on offer.

Concerned keepers were forced to remove Pingu from the enclosure, but at just three-weeks-old the penguin was in desperate need of company.

Staff bought a £3.99 toy penguin from the zoo shop which acts as a surrogate sibling to the chuffed chick - who cuddles up to its new friend all day.

And trust me, you really do want to click over to the dailymail.com for pictures of the little guy and his new BFF.

All together now: Awwww!!!

(Thanks, Nipper.)

^{*Statement only valid for the next five minutes.}

Both photos by meaganhm via the Stranger's Flickr Pool

And a mouse biting a viper to death:

And a heron using a rabbit for a purse:

(Courtesy of those freaks at the Telegraph.)

This photo was taken on Saturday, but today the sunshine will make the trees look even better. We wouldn't suggest that you take a flask of brandy because that would be illegal.

Photo by MaxineToo on Flickr.

The Cliffs Notes, in case you don't feel like reading it: the MySpace page was a "joke" that he had nothing to do with; he thinks the kid is going to be a boy and looks forward taking him hunting and fishing; he's going to tattoo Bristol Palin's name on his ring finger because he's forgetful and would surely lose a real ring; and he won't be voting in the election because he failed to register to vote on time.

According to Slog tipper Kay:

I think this article is just chock full of comedic/truth-bending gold.

Via BBC News:

The attack happened on Wednesday morning after the boy entered the zoo by jumping over the security fence and evading sensor alarms.

Over the next half hour, he bludgeoned some of the animals to death with stones and hurled others over the two fences surrounding the crocodile enclosure.

At one point, he tried scaling the outer enclosure himself to get to "Terry", the 11ft (3.3m) saltwater crocodile.

A turtle, four Western blue-tongued lizards, two bearded dragons, two thorny devil lizards and the zoo's 20-year-old goanna were among those killed.

The zoo is considering suing the parents, since the boy is "too young to be prosecuted." Read the full story here.

Well played, sir.

When I walked out to get a picture, he jumped into the back seat and has remained there so far.

How do I know it's a he? He has great big balls (not pictured), for the making of more pit bulls.

UPDATE: Window was cracked. No evidence whatsoever that this dog owner is irresponsible, other than the dog's continued possession of nutsack.

^{(*This is my last "cute animal" post for the day, nay, week. I promise. And thanks to Robby for the tip.)}

I know you guys think that Sarah Palin and John McCain are scary, but check out what these fuckin' babies have in store for us:

Baby #1:

"I wish the animals were not scared of anything."

Oh, great! Great idea, dumbass. Personally, I feel a lot safer knowing that sharks are scared of my outboard motor, and bears are afraid of me waving my arms and yelling "Don't eat me, fucker!", and snakes couldn't be more terrified of my fucking foot and just want to hide in a hole all year instead of, you know, CHOMPING MY TOE WITH THEIR VENOMOUS FANGS.

Baby #2:

"I wish spider weren't feared."

Ohhhh, fantastic. You know that's just what they want, right? You're playing right into their eight tiny hands! Spiders cannot wait for us to let our guard down and stop squishing them so that, under cover of night, they can carry out their ultimate scheme: to eat every single one of our eyeballs. Do you like having eyeballs? Me too. But you can kiss your eyeballs goodbye (well, not physically--that's impossible) if these babies get their way.

Baby #3:

"I wish there were more animals."

Whoa whoa whoa. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK? You babies are even crazier than I thought. So once you've established your armies of fearless, bloodthirsty beasts, and we humans are hobbling around blind and toeless, what you're wishing for is more animals?! Fuck!

Baby #4:

"I wish seals could say their feelings."

I have no criticism here. This actually is my fondest wish.

Baby #5:

"I wish all animals could celebrate holidays."

Haven't the animals taken enough from us already? I mean, really. My god.

I think the lesson here is clear: DO NOT ELECT BABIES TO PUBLIC OFFICE. Or animals, for that matter. I think they may have formed some sort of alliance. We're fucked.

Did anyone else just put on Hall & Oates' "Sara Smile"?

There is a fairly large herd of actual GOATS hanging out in the I-5 greenway by Pine St. and Boren, below the new dog park (down about 1 block west from the Baltic Room). Seriously! I can see them from my office. There is a also a collie going nuts because I think they are inspiring his/her natural herding instinct. Do you know the back story on this??

I do not, but I love actual goats. If anyone has any info, please share.