Hey Lindy! Have some ice cream!

Not all men of the cloth lie about their porn collections, or dress like clowns so they can bad-touch little boys. Meet Fratello Metallo. He just loves a little Metallica...

These guys perform at weddings, and events in Pakistan? It hurts my brain...

Angel Matos and his "brain explosion" take The Gold for most memorable Olympic moment...

"I have an incomplete album that I want to finish. I have been thinking about the plan during my days in jail, I have sung rock 'n' roll for 40 years. After jail, I will continue to rock 'n' roll." - Gary Glitter

Because no woman likes a seat belt all up in her tiddys...

First Bigfoot, now these guys? What a month!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: August 12, 2008 BIGFOOT BODY FOUND. DNA evidence and photo evidence to be presented at a Press Conference to be held: Date: Friday, August 15, 2008 Time: From 12 Noon-1:00 pm Place: Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto (A Crown Plaza Resort) 4290 El Camino Real, Palo Alto, California 94306

I kinda wish I was there to listen to these yahoos try to convince everyone that their discovery of the Tooth Fairy, I mean Bigfoot is NOT a hoax...

Americans are so obsessed with this, I think it's high time we paid more attention to the beauty of this. Me personally, when I finally scratch that winning lotto ticket in the 7-Eleven parking lot, I will, without one doubt, buy myself one of these:

How come they get Pânico...

... and we get America's Next Top Model, Smallville, One Tree Hill, Veronica Mars, and an endless supply of NOT-funny-nor-was-it-ever Seinfeld re-runs. It's not f*cking fair.

The 2008 Olympics should have been held in Brasil not Beijing... who's with me?

Happy Friday from you-know-who...

And now a word (or two) with Sarah! Supreme Chavette, our unofficial Sponsor of Fun With Chavs Week^TM... If you can translate whit she sayin', you can win THIS, THIS, THIS, and/or THESE*.

^{* not really. unless ya bee me a plane tick ta goe steal 'em, aye.}

Fun With Chavs Week^TM continues with Wee Man. Wee's a Ned, not a Chav, but he still counts, ya bawbags.

^{Want to sing along but can't? See also the karaoke version.}

whit? aye king chav gets owned in a 2 spec hit wid a glasgow boos? ouch!!!

I hereby declare it Fun With Chavs Week^TM at Lunchtime Quickie. Oi!

Pretend you give a sh*t!

Introducing Dimitri. Strange... I wonder why she didn't call him back?

A desperate McCain might be using images of Britney and Paris, but listen to the bitchin' MySpace metal band Ralph Nader is using in the video he just loaded on YouTube. Duuude.

"It could happen tomorrow, or not for a thousand years..."

>

An 11-year old boy bites a pit bull. That's right. And he loses a tooth doing it...

It's Friday already? I guess it's time for Lunchtime Quickie's Russia Week to come to an end. I collected so many videos. Boys drinking vodka, boys falling out of tractors, boys who love ketchup, boys reading X-rated poems, skateboarding boys who write really bad rap songs...

So many boys. I almost forgot about the ladies. Russian women are glamorous. And they almost always wear heels. How did I almost forget the ladies?

What would Russia Week be without some homophobic Russian police, drunk off their asses in uniform, dancing like a couple of homos?

Russia Week, because Russians know how to DANCE...

I'm officially declaring it Russia Week here at Lunchtime Quickie ^TM. Because you know, um, a wooden bed is always better than a golden coffin.

Adolf Hitler sings the them from "The Jeffersons." Not to viewed with a mouthful of food or liquid or cock.

Andrew Sullivan showed this to me and then called dibs on blogging it—but he's off for a week, and isn't blogging. And the web can't wait. So we took it up with a bloggers ethics panel, which decreed that I could blog it now, so long as I credited Andrew's source: VJ Yaz.

Enjoy.

My eternal fascination with Russia continues with The Tunnel of Death, aka The Lefortovo Tunnel, and/or the Mad Max Expressway:

The 2.2 km (1.4 miles) long Lefortovo Tunnel in Russia is the fifth longest 'in-city' tunnel in all of Europe. There is a river running over it and water leaks at some points. When the temperature reaches minus 38 degrees, like it did last winter, the road freezes and the result is this video taken during a single day with the tunnel camera.

Someone just sent me this video of Lauren Hutton wearing her drunky pants at the Bravo's A-List awards. I know it's about a month old, but if you haven't seen it yet, it's worthy. I think "Guacamole Smasher" might be the name of my next band...

Norman Johnson and The PT Loser... I mean, PT Cruiser:

Audio from pranksters Earles and Jensen!

Man, two years in a row? Will the rest of the world EVER respect the United States again?

To all those people who bought up all the tickets to the SP20 Comedy Show tonight - damn you! It's sold out. Here's Patton Oswalt. Oh Patton Oswalt.

White people CAN dance!

Sing it Sondra!

Would you feel more patriotic tomorrow, if he apologized today?

Because it's Wednesday...

Is César Polvilho the new Pretty Ricky? Are refrigerators sexier than ottomans? Can one of you boys tell me what's going on here?

They’re tryin' to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no...

The boys just stopped by to give me the video they made while building their Gay Pride Parade Float. I think they missed the deadline to officially enter the float in Sunday's parade, which is just a darn shame.