Sorry to get all Andy Rooney on your behinds, but when did Christmas decor before Halloween become okay?

Nothing says to you colleagues that you're a cool cucumber like the Normandy Beach Executive Sandbox. For only $24.99, you can practically hear the the rifles riddling the sandbags by your monitor.

PS: I came across this lovely toy while searching for the right Sea Monkey kit. I still can't make up my mind.

Very hip and trendy. But you can also buy things at Goodwill that are just plain weird. My housemate Kyle, for instance, buys cheap stuffed animals and cuts them up and sews them back together. For Christmas, he gave me a plush spider with bunny ears and a Telletubby voicebox to treat my arachnophobia. And using stuff purchased exclusively from second-hand stores, he made this Giant Ball of Pooh.

Photo by Nafun.

Easy, breezy, lesbian...Cover Girl:

Ellen DeGeneres has signed on as the latest face of CoverGirl Cosmetics and will star in a new print and commercial ad campaign that's rolling out in January.

"That's the first thing they teach you when you're a cover girl," DeGeneres said, striking a modelesque pose for her studio audience on Tuesday's edition of Ellen, where she also showed off a picture of her, mid-touchup, during a recent photo shoot. "They're putting some lip liner on me—man they love lip liner," she said.

That's it: Everyone I know is getting Cover Girl cosmetics for Christmas, accompanied by a lovely Hallmark card.

From King 5:

Two moms from Bellevue have launched a business that sells baby high heels. The crib shoes are only made for children up to 6 months old, and the heel is squishy for safety reasons. They could very well possibly be the smallest stilettos ever.

As King 5 mentions, the makers of "Heelarious" shoes "admit some have criticized them, saying heels, even fake ones, are inappropriate for babies. But they insist it's all meant to be in good fun."

And as I must add, watching a 6-months-or-less baby rolling around in a pair of suckle-me pumps—perhaps with a wig?—would be the funniest thing in the world.

(But maybe that's why I should only have dogs, not babies.)

Hi Dave,

I was just reading the Slog and the comments from your readers are very
kind!

If you would be so kind, would you mind removing my email address from the comments? The emails aren't reaching Chairman Hall, just me! They then go to customer service. The AFA provided my email without permission, of course, and is giving their members incorrect information!

It will be much more effective for your readers to email our customer
service professionals, via this link.

This feedback will be compiled and sent through the proper channels.

Thanks so much!

Warm Regards,
Sarah

Dear Sarah: Your wish is my command. Thanks for the update.

Last night during a USA network rerun of Law & Order: This Baby's Been Raped!, I saw an absolutely astonishing two-minute infomercial for the product pictured above.

The basics:

The National Collector’s Mint makes history with the release of this Government Authorized non-circulating Liberian legal tender September 11th commemorative. This $20 Silver Leaf Coin-Certificate displays a standard $20 denomination on one side. But on the other side, it’s the first time ever that two separate denominations have been used to add up to the full $20 face value—it uses 9 and 11 to commemorate the 7th anniversary of the World Trade Center tragedy.

The specifics:

On the front, the frosted Twin Towers stand out against a mirror-like background, double dated 2001-2008 with our promise – “We will never forget!” On the back , the Statue of Liberty heralds a stunning design of the new Freedom Tower skyline in a silvery tribute to all who were lost on that tragic day.

So for $20 (plus shipping and handling), you can purchase a $20 Commemorative, essentially commemorating the $20 you just threw away on this garbage. But this isn't just a $20 Commemorative—it's a September 11th $20 Commemorative.

I like non-circulating Liberian legal tender as much as the next person, but this is just gross.

(Those interested in seeing the instigating commercial can go here.)

As Dan predicted, Hallmark's introduction of same-sex wedding cards has inspired a boycott from the American Family Association:

Hallmark Greeting Cards has announced it will begin selling same-sex wedding cards, even though same-sex marriage is legal in only two states...We've all given or received Hallmark Cards—remember their slogan—"when you care enough to send the very best." But promoting same-sex marriage for profit is not the very best for families or our nation.

Hallmark is a private company obviously driven by greed. Let them know you do not appreciate Hallmark promoting a lifestyle which is illegal in 48 states. American Greeting Cards, Hallmark's competitor, does not offer same-sex marriage cards.

TAKE ACTION
Send an e-mail to Hallmark. Ask them to stop promoting a lifestyle that is not only unhealthy, but is also illegal in 48 states. Forward this to your friends and family.

And as Slog Tipper Stephen notes:

They even put up a link taking readers to a readymade complaint email which they urge everyone to send to Hallmark. They filled the form in with words of protest, but the forum I was on urged everyone to go and edit the text and send them a thank-you instead. Spread the word!

Thanks, Stephen, and will do. Hey everyone—send Hallmark an AFA-generated thank-you note here!

I think this is a crock of horse hockey. Fred Meyer coupons are very specific about the products they're good for. And I've never seen a manufacturer's coupon for "any dairy product." Scan the coupon for us to see.

Posted by smells like a fish tale | August 11, 2008 9:19 PM

"Horse hockey", indeed! Well, then, dear “smells like a fish tale”...because you insist:

Yes. There it is, the coupon: all fugly and scanned and coupon-ey, just for you. And as you can clearly see, it says, ahem, ANY FUCKING DAIRY PURCHASE, just I like I said it said--and just like you insisted it probably didn't. There are no restrictions, and nowhere--front or back--does it say anything resembling, "Oh! And, uh, cheese doesn't count for some unfathomable reason!" And so. I win of course. And I shall expect your sincere apology, in writing, double spaced, immediately. Notarized couldn't hurt.

And thanks in advance.

Via the Northwest Film Forum mail list:

We are pleased to announce that the 6th annual Cephalopod Appreciation Society meeting will be held on the afternoon of Sunday, August 10th at our favorite location—the Northwest Film Forum (1515 12th Ave - off Pine St. on Capitol Hill - Seattle, WA).

We'll kick everything off at 12:30 pm with some cephalopod-inspired music, art, poetry, impassioned speeches & Other, and end with a cephalopod film (TBA).

The Specifics:
Sunday, Aug. 10th
12:30 - 2:30 pm
@ Northwest Film Forum
1515 12th Ave / Seattle, WA
All ages!
$5 suggested donation
Free stickers!
More info: songsforsquid@hotmail.com

Here's what you can do:
* First - save the date & come celebrate!

* Second - spread the word to your friends and favorite cephalopods. (Reminder: Cephalopods include the octopus, squid, chambered nautilus, and cuttlefish. All molluscs are welcome, but we'll only be celebrating cephalopods on this day.)

* Last but not least -- if you have (or will have) a CEPHALOPOD-INSPIRED SOMETHING to present or perform at the meeting, please let me know so I can schedule you in! We're open to all media (music, dance, lecture, fashion, multi-media, art, poetry, puppets, interactive, super-8, slide-show, Other), and although it's a fairly lo-fi affair we'll do our best to accommodate your technological needs.

And if you know of someone who might be interested, please pass this on.

Hope to see you there!

This seems like the right time to mention that if plain old Moleskine notebooks have become too dull for you, you can purchase all kinds of etched modifications from Modofly. Those by Dan Hillier tend to involve human-cephalopod hybrids:

(Thanks, Caroline.)

Half the shot glasses are round, half are square, and the set comes with a checker board. According to the rules on the back of the box, you're supposed to fill the shot glasses with booze and when one of your glasses gets jumped, you have to do the shot. One game should put you under the table. Two should send you to the emergency room.

The round and square glasses would seem to obviate the need for booze of two different colors—but, hey, if you like shots of Blue Curacao, go for it.

All yours for $14.99 at Value Village on 11th.

...brought up in the comments to this post, by the enticingly named crk on bellevue ave:

Until Pike Place Market is open until at least 8pm, it is nothing more then a quaint tourist trap. I love the produce vendors there... but 6pm? Too early for me.

I want the thank the Mayor and city council of Seattle for opening up a huge money making opportunity for me! Starting in January, 2009, I plan to be standing outside your nearest grocery store selling bags, just off their property, next to a Democrats political sign and a homeless person, for only 10 cents each! For starters, I have purchased 50,000 of these at a cost less than one cent per bag. And I will be shopping just outside the city limits and will never shop in town again! And if you want to tax me for making a profit, and using public or private land to do it on, you will also have to remove the political signs for being placed on that property illegally and tax the homeless for making money also! So thanks again!