Housekeeping Overheard at the Office
posted by October 29 at 3:19 PMon
"Jesus, those bags smell TERRIBLE."
"Not as bad as when you left your gym shoes on the heater."
posted by October 29 at 3:19 PMon
"Jesus, those bags smell TERRIBLE."
"Not as bad as when you left your gym shoes on the heater."
posted by October 29 at 10:44 AMon
From: ************@hotmail.com Subject: OMG....Now you've really done it Date: October 29, 2008 10:34:03 AM PDT To: email@example.com
Liberalism is alive and thriving in the Seattle Hippy-Commie-Freak community. Johan Spangenthal-Lee's piece on Ms. Kathy Barker is one more example of the whiny-crybaby crap that makes Seattle a haven for the Obama-lovers of Amerika.
Think for a moment of a city by the bay where a Military Recruiter is forbidden to "recruit" at any public function. Can you say D-R-A-F-T. Now, instead of an All-Volunteer Military you have a conscripted on. All of you Long-Haired sudo-college students studying the best way to build a bong will be sweating your asses off in Afganistan fighting the Taliban and Al-Qaeda. Thanks a lot....you suck!
Oh and the uniform is not called fatigues. They are called BDU's (Battle Dress Uniform). Your grandpa called them fatigues.
Isn't hate a wonderful thing
Sudo-college! You can read Jonah Spangenthal-Lee's piece on Kathy Barker's one-woman fight to keep military recruiters off Seattle Parks Department property (and leave your own similarly enlightened comments) here.
posted by October 24 at 9:53 AMon
A recipe for boiled eggs Vladimir Nabokov wrote in 1972, after he had moved to the Montreux Palace Hotel in Switzerland, where he would stay until his death.
Boil water in a saucepan (bubbles mean it is boiling!). Take two eggs (for one person) out of the refrigerator. Hold them under the hot tap water to make them ready for what awaits them.
Place each in a pan, one after the other, and let them slip soundlessly into the (boiling) water. Consult your wristwatch. Stand over them with a spoon preventing them (they are apt to roll) from knocking against the damned side of the pan.
If, however, an egg cracks in the water (now bubbling like mad) and starts to disgorge a cloud of white stuff like a medium in an oldfashioned seance, fish it out and throw it away. Take another and be more careful.
After 200 seconds have passed, or, say, 240 (taking interruptions into account), start scooping the eggs out. Place them, round end up, in two egg cups. With a small spoon tap-tap in a circle and then pry open the lid of the shell. Have some salt and buttered bread (white) ready. Eat.
Take another and be more careful!
posted by October 23 at 4:55 PMon
Cover art by Slava Mogutin
Although I've been associated with this dirty, filthy rag for a few years now, I have so far stayed away from HUMP!, the annual amateur-porn contest and jewel in The Stranger's dirty, filthy panties. Maybe it's because I'm admittedly skeeved out by public displays of sexuality (e.g., the time I went to the strip-club lunch buffet and then had to dry-clean my own brain), and so sitting in a room with a whole lot of clandestine man- and lady-boners watching my neighborhood barista get pleasured with the business-end of a bicycle pump didn't exactly sound like my cup of unidentifiable fluid. But this year, as film editor, I have certain duties and responsibilities. Duties and responsibilities that involve your genitals. Hooray for us all.
Will they actually let Barack Obama win? Will Diebold steal the election and give it to John McCain instead? Will martial law be declared so George Bush can be self-appointed to a third term? Will conservative thugs at polling places suppress minority turnout in the very swing states where the minority vote could really make the difference for the Democratic ticket? Is this shit I'm reading in Rolling Stone about voter-purging true? Because it's terrifying. Hold me!
Jonah Spangenthal-Lee on the one-woman crusade to keep military recruiters out of Parks Department events:
Last April, Barker, who sits on the board of Washington Truth in Recruiting, which provides students with alternatives to military recruitment, fired off a letter to the City Council and the parks department after army and navy soldiers showed up to a teen event at the Delridge Community Center in Southwest Seattle in a shiny black Hummer.
"[The parks department had] been advertising a teen-appreciation day [with] basketball, swimming, a DJ, and a barbecue," Barker says. She says the woman who alerted her to the recruiters' presence "pulled up with her kids and saw two guys in army fatigues in a black Hummer. She wanted them to go away and they wouldn't." Barker says she's also heard of recruiters showing up to events with climbing walls and video games.
Rebecca Brown on two Hawthornes: Nathaniel, and the California suburb where Beach Boy Brian Wilson just released his tenth solo album:
In the chapter entitled "The Recognition," Hester Prynne, condemned to wear the scarlet letter "A" on her dress, is leaving prison with her newborn love child. Someone, Hawthorne narrates, "the eldest clergyman of Boston," calls "Hearken unto me, Hester Prynne!" and exhorts her to confess, repent, and name the father of her child. This speaker is, like many characters in Hawthorne's work, based on a real person, in this case a leading Puritan divine, John Wilson (1591–1667).
Look, I'm not saying this Wilson was an ancestor of our California-bound Wilsons. On the other hand, don't we all believe, as our Puritan ancestors did, that if we go back far enough, we all go back to the same old Adam and Eve?
PLUS!: Megan Seling on Seattle's best cupcakes; Sean Nelson on Mike Leigh's new comedy; Jen Graves on surveillance-camera art; David Schmader on bad, drunk-ass puppetry; me on Democratic consultant Cathy Allen's work for two prominent Republicans; election endorsements; and more.
posted by October 23 at 2:16 PMon
The Sprocket Society's Secret Sunday Matinee, which I recommend because it's totally fun and weird, is at a special time this Sunday: 4 pm. But in the print edition this week, I forgot to change the time. It says it's at noon. It is not at noon!
Special time, special movie. From the Sprocket Society via e-mail:
This Sunday's 4 PM matinee will be a great show, literally a once-in-a-lifetime screening. The Secret Feature is a spectacular 1950s Russian fantasy classic by the great director Alecsandr (Alexander) Ptushko, who lets his imagination and lush colors run riot in one of his most famous films...Extremely rare on any film stock, this particular 16mm print has never once been run through any projector or machine until this Sunday. On low-fade Anscochrome film stock, it is a mint copy stored well since it was struck in the late 1970s. I spliced it together tonight from the original lab cores.
Anyway, sorry everyone!
posted by October 20 at 10:35 AMon
(Due to a flu that knocked out damn near all the editorial staff, including me, this week's Week in the News is a Monday edition.)
Last week's print-edition news section was devoted entirely to election endorsements, including our handy, printable, set-it-next-to-your-ballot-when-you-vote cheat sheet. Elsewhere in the paper, Eli Sanders wrote about the distinct possibility that Washington State will elect Obama--and still send several Republicans to high state and federal offices.
Meanwhile, on Slog: I posted video of the Stranger Election Control Board's interview with Tim Eyman; Dominic Holden reported on a lawsuit filed by Magnolia NIMBYs to keep housing for the homeless out of Discovery Park; I wrote about yet another bizarre kerfuffle among the 36th District Democrats, this one about the language on the sample ballot; Dominic gave props to City Council Member Sally Clark for moving forward on two important housing bills; I reported on Bellevue land mogul Kemper Freeman's $100,000 contribution to the anti-mass-transit campaign (which has all of ten contributors); Dominic reported on layoffs at innovative architecture and development firm Pb Elemental; I wrote about King County Executive Ron Sims's announcement of major budget cuts and layoffs at the county; Dominic reported on efforts to preserve historic buildings in the Pike-Pine neighborhood; I gave a brief guide to some important, but low-profile, races on this year's ballot; and Eli went to Tacoma to cover Joe Biden's 12,000-person rally at Cheney Stadium.
Oh, and Jonah Spangenthal-Lee was on vacation.
posted by October 16 at 5:16 PMon
Brendan Kiley interviews his (sort of) racist Virginian relatives.
Racism in the South is also changing, receding from the public sphere while staying in the private sphere. Meaning: You can keep your prejudice and still vote for a nonwhite politician. "If Colin Powell were running, I'd vote for him in a heartbeat," one of my aunts said. Then, later in the conversation, "I don't want any of my kids marrying outside their race."
What if one of your kids wanted to marry Colin Powell?
"No. I know it sounds un-Christian, but I have certain expectations. Black people just aren't attractive to me. I wouldn't want a little black grandbaby."
So you think Colin Powell is intelligent, honest, and capable?
The Stranger Election Control Board urges you to vote for mass transit (and a bunch of other stuff).
As much as the SECB hates saying we told you so—no, wait, the SECB loves saying we told you so. We LIVE to say we told you so. And we told you so, bitches! HA! Mass transit is BACK, and this year it includes 36 new miles of light rail to Redmond, Lynnwood, and Federal Way (they're real places, we checked); 100,000 hours of new express bus service; and a 65 percent expansion of Sounder commuter rail. It costs just $69 in sales tax per year, doesn't include a lick of new general-purpose pavement, and will be finished years before last year's proposal would have been.
Bethany Jean Clement visits Belltown's new Japanese "street food" restaurant, finds it Habitrail-like and somewhat magical.
The view through the plastic is of Second Avenue and, in the back, down onto a parking lot—a vista that at first seems poor but as you sit begins to seem correct in its random urbanness. When it's raining, the rain will fall on the ceiling overhead (also transparent) and rivulet down the sides. The Kushibar people will turn on the heat lamps. It will sound like being on a boat in the rain, and it will still smell like the indoor-outdoor area's ribs of new wood, its fresh wooden picnic-type tables. If prior experience is any indicator, tablesful of Asian boys will peck at their laptops, and tablesful of Asian girls will giggle and take multiple group photographs, switching off photographers between shots. Everyone will be eating Japanese street-food snacks that would cost approximately one-third as much on an actual Japanese street, and everyone will be happy about it.
Eric Grandy on Of Montreal--and what sounds like one fucking weird show.
Elsewhere in the performance, Barnes appeared as an electric-blue mariachi with a pink sombrero strapped to his back; as a red-robed pope enthroned with a sexy nun lying at his feet; as a Voltron-like being with a giant head and limbs operated by invisible black-clad figures, in a pair of roller skates the size of bumper cars with an oversized blue-sequin fanny pack to match; as a centaur with working hind legs provided by someone in the modified ass section of a two-man horse costume; and as a ghost or mummy covered in white shaving cream. He emerged from a curtained box carried by four lumpy, golden, doughboyish bearers. He was entertained by a sword dancer in an inflated polka-dotted garbage bag wielding what looked like giant crab legs. He was begged for (but decided to deny) clemency by a prisoner in an animal mask. He was hung and sang while dangling from his noose. He rose again from a white coffin. He shot glitter out of a spotlight-shining cannon.
Also in this week's issue: Previewing the Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival; a look at Washington State's perplexing red/blue split; a farewell to Belltown's McLeod Residence; a review of Marco Iacoboni's book Mirroring People; Erin Langner on "the best museum in America"; and much more.
posted by October 16 at 11:23 AMon
“Just don’t tell her it’s brain matter.”
posted by October 15 at 3:59 PMon
Daniel Rutherford was the first person to correctly answer the pop-quiz math question in our endorsements and email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The question, to refresh your memory:
The city of Seattle considers $1,153 a month for a one-bedroom apartment "workforce" housing. Next year, the state minimum wage will increase to $8.55 an hour. How many hours a month would you have to work at minimum wage to pay "workforce" rent?
For his correct(ish!) answer of 135 hours (see below), Daniel gets a $50 check and a large cardboard box.
Why do I say "correct(ish)"? Because, while $8.55 * 135 hours technically gets you to $1,153, that's without ANY other expenses. (Or taxes and other deductions, but let's leave that one alone). Given that the city of Seattle defines "affordable" housing as what you can pay for using 30 percent of your monthly income, you'd actually have to work 449 hours a month--or 104 hours a week, assuming 13 four-week "months" per year--to make enough to "afford" the city's "affordable" housing. That's like having almost three full-time minimum-wage jobs! (For kicks, I did the same quick calculation using the federal minimum, and found you'd have to work 176 total hours to pay for the city's "workforce" housing, or 135 hours a week to "afford" that housing. Neat!).
Thanks to everyone who submitted answers. For getting his in first, Daniel gets a check for $50 and a large cardboard box.
posted by October 15 at 12:20 PMon
Where are you going to be watching?
No matter where you end up, be sure to take your laptop with you (or iPhone, I hear the live-blog widget works beautifully on that too), because you really don't want to miss the live-blogging of tonight's debate with Erica C. Barnett, Charles Mudede, and Eli Sanders.
It's sure to be entertaining.
posted by October 10 at 3:40 PMon
In this week's paper, Jonah Spangenthal-Lee takes a hard look at the "epidemic" of violence in Southeast Seattle...
In the last month alone, there have been at least half a dozen shootings, many of them attributed to rising tensions between rival gangs. As Mayor Greg Nickels trots out his Youth Violence Prevention Initiative—a $9 million program designed to keep kids out of gangs and reduce violence in South and Central Seattle—South Seattle residents like Rachel Risley and Scott Schenk are getting used to the sounds of gunshots and police helicopters outside their home.
... and Dominic Holden talks to one Capitol Hill resident about his vision for the Broadway light-rail station:
Carter Kinnier, a 48-year-old Capitol Hill resident, has an idea. He envisions a new, permanent home for the farmers market, currently a block north of the transit station, which will soon be displaced by an apartment building. Sound Transit expects 14,000 people a day will board light rail at the station—all potential customers.
Meanwhile, on Slog, Dominic dropped in on a group of South Seattle residents who're unhappy that light rail will mean taller buildings; Jonah got the scoop on a probation officer who accused cops of sexually harassing her and was subsequently charged with assault; I wrote a long-ass analysis of the presidential debate; Eli Sanders polled the Slogerati to find out how much they'd donated to Obama's campaign; I wrote about the layoffs that are coming at King County; Dominic tells Catholics what they can do with their moralistic laws; and Eli — along with Paul Constant, David Schmader, and Christopher Frizzelle—liveSlogged the presidential debate.
posted by October 10 at 10:25 AMon
First a HUGE thanks to all of you who came out to Slog Happy last night--I think the College Inn Pub was the perfect place to have it in October. Hot food, lots of beer, and I was pretty impressed with how well our server managed to remember a list of orders a dozen drinks long. How do they do that?
Jonah was a great trivia host (and I was glad to see Scary Tyler Moore and Joh put him in his place when we got too cocky!), and in the end, all the scores were pretty close! I think there was only a six-point spread between the first and last place teams, with, what, seven teams in all? Eight maybe?
Scary Tyler Moore and Fnarf's team, won, of course. I think we all saw that coming. But in a close second, was Abby and Original Monique's team. Not far behind them was Joh's gang (forgive me for not remember who exactly was on what team).
But really, in the end, we were all winners since we all got to try wisepunk's AWESOME homemade chocolate sea salt caramels. They were so good I had a dream about them last night.
So thank you again, all of you, for making the trip to the U-District. And hopefully next time someone can take take down Scary Tyler Moore's team. We need to get a good rivalry going.
And now, the important question... what do you want to do for Slog Happy in November? Karaoke? Guitar Hero? Just drinks and mingling? And where do you want to have it? Back on the Hill? Downtown? Leave your suggestions in the comments, and we'll do our best to make all your Slog Happy dreams come true.
posted by October 9 at 4:45 PMon
Because Slog Happy, Trivia Edition!, begins in one hour and 15 minutes.
Prizes include tickets to the Breeders, Stereolab, HUMP!, gift certificates to a few local restaurants, free movie passes, coupons for free Bimbos burritos, DVDs (including a special edition of The Nightmare Before Christmas), CDs, books (there's one about sex and bacon), and a whatever else I can grab before heading out the door.
You'll be allowed to play in teams of up to five people, but you can go solo or with just a friend or two if you'd like.
See you at the College Inn at 6 pm!
posted by October 9 at 2:52 PMon
The drawing on the cover this week is by Paul Hoppe.
Dan Savage's Defense of Dignity
"On Monday morning, after eliminating all other possibilities (a virus, pneumonia, some rare desert fungus), a doctor pulled me and my stepfather out of my mother's room. They were out of options. Nothing more could be done. Her battered lungs were failing; one had a widening hole in it. Amazingly, the doctor didn't say, 'It's over, this is it.' He laid out the facts and we stared at him dumbly for that world-without-end moment, and then one of us--my stepfather, me, I don't remember--finally said, 'So this is it?'"
Erica C. Barnett on the Important Stuff at the Bottom of the Ballot This November
"You can relax about one thing this Election Day: Obama is going to win Washington State. It's the rest of the ballot Seattle progressives need to worry about. This election is your chance to have your say on the people and proposals that will have a real, tangible impact on your daily life here in Seattle--from how you get around to how much say you have over your own body and medical decisions."
David Schmader Visits a Veggie Slaughterhouse
"Does fennel scream when it's slaughtered? Does the sight of the killing floor cause eggplant to taint itself with fear hormones? An invitation to tour the just-opened Field Roast factory offered the possibility of answers."
Jen Graves Drives Three Hours North to See WACK! Art and the Feminist Revolution at Vancouver Art Gallery
"I spent 13 hours in the galleries over two days. (I didn't take a single break in all that time; I went through as if in a trance.) The show has something like 40 hours of video and also includes photography, painting, sculpture, installation, film, documentation, sound, a large rubber net to play in, and even one paper relic that was famously dipped in vagina 34 years ago. I rushed from work to work, watching videos of performances I've only seen in photographs, discovering new sides to artists I've known for years, marveling at how funny, smart, brave, and radical these women were and are."
Lindy West on An American Carol
"Awww look, you guys! How cute! The conservatives tried to make a comedy! They put, like, little jokes in there and everything. Hey--there's Chris Farley's brother, Dennis Farley or whatever! It is so good to know that guy's not homeless. I was worried. I mean, what is on Steve-Farley-or-whatever's résumé? Besides 'Skills: fat face slightly reminiscent of actual funny person (deceased), tap, ballet, clarinet, cockney accent'?"
ALSO IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE: South Seattle's violent summer; one long-shot vision for the Capitol Hill light rail station; the musical Sarah Palin doesn't want you to see; the meat at Fremont's Triangle Lounge; five new books from Portland publisher Microcosm; the very good second album by Seattle band the Pica Beats; Dave Segal's interrogation of the Dead C; Lindy West crashes a fire-themed party; Dear Science answers whether a pencil dropped from the Space Needle could kill you; plus all the other columns and calendars.
posted by October 9 at 11:58 AMon
See you there!
(And, for those folks on the hill--or elsewhere--who are bussing: plan your trip here.)
posted by October 8 at 11:04 AMon
And just so you know, I've seen a picture of wisepunk's promised "homemade sea-salt chocolate caramels" and they look a-maz-ing.
posted by October 7 at 4:10 PMon
Earlier today, I put up a post about Obama and bookselling and terrorism. The post linked to a LiveJournal post. This came up in the comments:
Why are you sloggers always so bad about internet ettiquite? Why am I the one who told her that she'd been linked at The Slog and not you? Posted by dee in sf | October 7, 2008 12:51 PM
I was forwarded the link to the LiveJournal post by someone named Christin, and Christin promptly came to my defense:
@8: I asked her if it was okay before sending it to Paul. But yes, it's always good in general to let people know that you're linking others to them. Posted by Christin | October 7, 2008 1:16 PM
And dee in sf wrote back:
Cristin- I just got a reply from her that you did tell her and was coming back here to post an apology. Sorry about the mistake.
However, I do remember the LJ-er whp wrote about Wall-E who was linked here and I was the person who told her, in the comments, about that linking.
Posted by dee in sf | October 7, 2008 1:24 PM
Which leads me to inquire: are you supposed to let someone know if you link to them? I've never heard of such a thing. It seems absurd to me; postings on the internet are public, and as long as you're attributing and not plagiarizing, linking to any public site seems absolutely fine to me.
I really can't see myself posting a comment in every blog I link to saying "I linked to this post on Slog" or something like that—can non-LiveJournallers leave comments on LiveJournal posts, anyway? If someone is curious about where their hits are coming from, it seems as though a simple Google search would uncover the culprit. Some people I've asked think that alerting people to an upcoming link may be a longstanding rule of LiveJournal etiquette. If this is the case, I would like to say here, as a disclaimer, that I think LiveJournal etiquette is a huge waste of time.
posted by October 3 at 1:45 PMon
This month's Slog Happy is everything you've ever wanted in a Slog Happy:
*You asked for it to be up north, so we found a place up north.
*You said you wanted a place with food, so we found a place with food.
*You told us we should bring back trivia, so we're bringing back trivia!
So join us next Thursday, October 9th, at College Inn Pub for the Best Slog Happy Ever*! The bar has a near-perfect standing in our restaurant reviews, thanks to their yummy chili, nachos, and sandwiches, and they'll also be serving up $3 wells and $3 micros until 7 pm.
See you there!
posted by October 2 at 2:50 PMon
I am sorry, nice woman sitting next to me at Cafe Presse right now, that I just made that really, really gross loud noise.
See, I was just trying to clear my throat, but then midway through it awkwardly transformed into a cough, which resulted in this involuntary, open-mouthed, protracted sound:
Did it help that I pretend-coughed for an unnecessarily long time afterwards, as though it would somehow obliterate the memory of the really gross loud noise? I hope so. Enjoy your latte.
(On a related note: I enjoy the Croque Campagnard very much.)
posted by October 2 at 12:00 PMon
Cover photo by Kelly O.
Erica C. Barnett on Seven Reasons to Fear Dino Rossi
"Rossi doesn't just oppose abortion rights. He opposes all reproductive rights—from students' right to learn the facts about pregnancy, STDs, and birth control, to women's right to buy contraceptives with a prescription. Rossi opposes requiring pharmacies to stock emergency contraception, which works by preventing fertilization, because some pharmacists assert, falsely, that it causes abortions. How trivial does Rossi consider women's right to emergency contraception? On one occasion, he compared requiring pharmacies to dispense the medication to 'forcing Safeway to carry my favorite brand of sport drink'..."
John McCain Refuses to Make Eye Contact--Again!
"Republican presidential nominee John McCain, reeling from widespread accusations of racial bias following the presidential debate last Friday, has made matters worse by slighting one of America's best respected bands."
Jen Graves Reviews the Art at Harborview
"Early on a bright morning last week, the intensive-care waiting area was messy with slept-in makeshift beds of hospital-issue pillows and blankets spread on couches. An older woman held her head in her hands on one side of the room; across it a red-eyed younger woman told a phone, 'She died last night.' The art in here is by Anne Appleby, a Montana artist who paints dusty colored panels that seem to have light inside them. Three tall paintings in an almost alien yellow-green hue hang at one end of the waiting room..."
Joan Hiller Goes Searching for the the Best Sloppy, Simple, Completely Delicious Enchiladas
"Structurally, the cheese enchilada has three main components: the tortilla, the delicious cheese guts, and—most importantly—the sauce. You screw up the sauce and the whole thing goes to shit. The sauce is the glue that holds the enchilada world together, the spicy ocean in which the tortillas with their bellyfuls of cheese swim."
Sean Nelson on Kinky French Film A Girl Cut in Two
"The affair is an exercise in light depravity and consensual abasement: He directs her to give him head under the desk as he does his morning writing; she surprises him (on her birthday) by crawling into the room almost naked, on all fours, with fanned-out peacock feathers sticking out of her ass. Ah, love. The thing is, she's super into it and into him—she feels neither embarrassed nor ridiculous."
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: the terrifying mannequin in the ladies room at the Buck; a news story about renters benefiting mightily from the home foreclosure crisis; Larry Mizell Jr. on local hiphop producer Jake One; an interview with David Berman; Paul Constant on two new political novels; lots of new film reviews; three new theater reviews; and all the usual columns and calendars.
posted by October 1 at 10:30 AMon
Tomorrow's VP debate starts at 6 pm (on every channel everywhere), but log on to Slog an hour early for an all out cage-match between Jen Graves and Erica C. Barnett--a debate about feminism started at an editorial meeting last week and they're going to bring it to Slog for the masses to enjoy (and comment on)!
Erica will also talk about why sexist jokes about Palin backfire and highlight some of last week's great Palin hits ("e.g. being unable to identify ANY Supreme Court case besides Roe v. Wade," she says).
And what will Bethany and Lindy be bringing to the pre-debate party? Bethany says: "Lindy and I will have a pillow fight in our underwear."
See you there!
*And Eli Sanders.
posted by September 29 at 3:43 PMon
posted by September 29 at 1:15 PMon
So I need a Books Intern again. It's an unpaid position, although you do get free books. Two past books interns have wound up as Party Crashers for The Stranger--go figure--and five former interns do work for me. I started as a books intern. Are you excited yet?
It's ten to fifteen hours a week, and the primary duty involves compiling the readings calendar, along with other things like requesting books from publishers and etc. Organizational skills are a plus, but I'd be a hypocrite if I said they were a must. There is no coffee-fetching or other demeaning tasks involved. Interns will write reviews for The Stranger.
Being a reader is a necessity, although favorite genres and topics are entirely unimportant. This is a good job for a bookseller or a student looking to have a few clips they can leverage into a lucrative career as a book critic.
Send a query letter and writing samples to: email@example.com.
(Image comes from the website for the movie The Intern, which I have never seen. This is not an endorsement.)
posted by September 26 at 10:55 AMon
You should be too!
After the week it's been, tonight's debate is sure to be AWESOME.
Obama has so much ammo with McCain's "suspended campaign" bullshit. I can't wait to hear what he'll say. I'm also looking forward to watching McCain, who's apparently really confused right now, babble through the answers the same way he babbled through his protest-ridden speech at the RNC.
This is gonna be great.
posted by September 25 at 12:09 PMon
posted by September 24 at 11:45 AMon
Do you like movies? And candy? And data entry*?
Apply to be my intern. Here. The film section needs you!
*Especially data entry.
posted by September 23 at 11:15 AMon
posted by September 23 at 9:16 AMon
I'm searching for a particular Monty Python skit and I've gone through every clip I can find on YouTube without luck. Does anyone else remember a Python skit about people living in an apartment tower that was an illusion created by a magician? So long as they believed, the building was fine. If they doubted the existence of the building, it might collapse.
I remembering watching that skit on television in my mother's bedroom about, oh, 30 years ago. But I can't find it anywhere. Am I crazy? Were false memories of non-existent Monty Python skits implanted in my mind by an unethical psychiatrist? Or is it out there somewhere?
And does anyone have a link to it?
posted by September 22 at 4:38 PMon
Over in the reader comments on our 2008 Back to School Guide (or Your Indispensable Guide to the Things No One Else Will Tell You by the Only Newspaper in Seattle That Isn’t Ridiculous and Irrelevant™), we find this remark from the_smith:
I find the bar I work in taken over by college age kids who are impatient and messy and don't tip. Stranger, you gave great advice about how to order a drink like an adult but that needs an etiquette follow-up. Please mention the buck-a-drink standard and tipping at least 15%, esp. late. I can put up with any kind of self-obsessed faux-intelligencia as long as I am being paid to do so. This will make my world and in turn your world a much better place. Thanks and keep up the great writing.
the_smith, who is entirely correct about this glaring omission, refers to the following section of the Everything You Need to Know About Life section of The Guide to End All Guides:
How to Drink Like an Adult
Do not order a rum-and-anything. Do not order a Diet-and-anything. Do not drink anything that is pink or anything that is blended. Do not drink malt liquor or schnapps of any variety. Do not drink anything containing flecks of gold or taurine. Do not order any drink that has more than three components; two components are preferable. Do not partake in any drinking that involves dropping one beverage into another, nor in any drinking that involves a funnel.... All of these fall into two basic rules which also apply to life as a whole: Don't get too complicated about it and don't be an asshole.
Tipping clearly falls under the "don't be an asshole" rule, but it absolutely should've been said outright. Youth of today: Tip, and tip well. Otherwise, drink at home.
The writer of the guide is being disciplined.
The beautiful drawings for the 2008 Back to School Guide are by Jessixa Bagley.
posted by September 22 at 3:08 PMon
Dear Paul Constant,
How can you not love this?
posted by September 22 at 11:38 AMon
The letter of my year:
I read your annual back to school issue, and I think you forgot to include one category. I would call it something like:
"How to avoid getting thrown into an Italian jail under the accusation of murder"
You are having the time of your life spending a semester abroad in one of the most beautiful countries in Europe. Parlando italiano, mangiando il cibo magnifico, and fucking loads of men, Italian or not. So how do you avoid those pesky murder charges? When your roomate comes home and becomes enraged when she finds you, your boyfriend, and the local drug dealer engaged in a hash transaction, do not: one, toss her cell phones out the window when she tries to call the police, two, do not threaten her with a knife, and then accidentally kill her. Instead, tell her to fuck off, stomp out of the house, finish the drug deal at the boyfriend's house, and find a new roomate.
Hope this will be useful to future students going abroad!
posted by September 19 at 4:50 PMon
Cover art by Jessixa Bagley.
Back to School 2008: An Indispensable Guide to the Things No One Else Will Tell You By the Only Newspaper in Seattle that Isn't Ridiculous and IrrelevantTM
Everything there is to know about college (including tips on campus life, how to skip classes, and how to bang a professor). Everything there is to know about the city (the lay of the land, where to get pizza/have an abortion/Dumpster dive). And everything there is to know about life (how to drink like an adult, how to do hallucinogens, how to get someone to sleep with you, and more).
Jonah Spangenthal-Lee on the Scrap Over the Proposed Pit-Bull Pan
"A group working to ban potentially dangerous dogs from Seattle has abruptly canceled plans to submit a citizen initiative after receiving threatening e-mails from pit-bull enthusiasts, group members say. 'You should be publicly executed for your actions against our beloved pets,' one e-mail reads. 'You all ought to be neutered,' says another."
Paul Constant on the Mysterious Silence Surrounding the Departure of Hugo House's Director
"On September 11, rumors of Lyall Bush and Hugo House parting ways spread through Seattle's literary community with the speed usually reserved for an apocalyptic plague outbreak in a thriller. The Stranger sent e-mails to Hugo House and promptly received confirmation from Brian McGuigan, Hugo House's program associate: 'Yes, it's true; Lyall is no longer the executive director of Hugo House.'"
Dan Savage Answers Your Questions about HUMP!
"Do I have to show my face in my film? Nope! We need proof of age--a photocopy of a passport or driver's license--for everyone who appears in your film, but you can be shot from the neck down. Or you can wear masks. Or makeup. Or a Sarah Palin wig and glasses. So long as your film is creative and hot, it'll make the cut!"
Bethany Jean Clement Ventures to the Triangle Pub
"Marooned next to the giant pit is an old three-story brick beauty with ghosts of old advertisements painted on the side. The only word that's legible is 'QUALITY.' It's the 1910 Flatiron Building, still standing because it's a historic landmark, and a historic landmark because it used to be a brothel. It's home to the Triangle Pub, a wedge of old-fashioned, run-down goodness on a decimated, soon-to-be-fancy block."
ALSO IN THIS ISSUE: Sarah Palin's sinking ratings; how conservative activists are planning to infiltrate Seattle colleges; the case of the two Vulcans; the construction boom's secret laborers; a very long sentence about David Foster Wallace; Lindy West sees three horrible movies in a row (and makes a horrible metaphor out of it); Trent Moorman interrogates CSS; Dave Segal on Earth and other bands named after planets; Theater Review Revue (in which we have thoughtfully divided each show's ticket price by the run time [Shrek the Musical will cost you $0.42 per minute]); plus all the usual columns and calendars.
posted by September 19 at 1:00 PMon
We've decided to shake things up a little bit in regards to our Party Crasher column: from now on, when you invite Party Crasher to your house party (firstname.lastname@example.org), you never know which Stranger staffer you're going to get to cover your party.
You may have noticed that David Schmader wrote Party Crasher last week. Here's a taste:
One of these guys sports a button on his jacket, featuring what looks like the face of Mick Mars, the guitarist and ugliest member of Mötley Crüe. "Is that Mick Mars?" I ask the owner, who responds in the affirmative. He's in a band—Ivory in Ice World—and wears the button to honor his status as "the Mick Mars of the group." I ask him if this means he's the guitarist or the ugliest member. "Both!" he replies.
It was a great Party Crasher. You may also have noticed that Christopher Frizzelle crashed Fnarf's birthday in this week's Party Crasher:
...he heard the word "incest" and said, "Incense?"
"Oh, incest," Steve replied. "A game the whole family can play."
Will Kelly O be the one to try your artichoke dip? Will Dan Savage attend your birthday party? Will Brendan Kiley leap from a second-story window onto a bus roof at your nephew's Bar Mitzvah? Will Lindy West batter your piñata into submission? Will I make things a little more awkward at your gay orgy? You'll have to invite us (email@example.com) to your upcoming house party to find out.