Shit. Bye, George.

In addition to the information Erica already provided is this tidbit: Rahm Emanuel's younger brother Ari Emanuel founded the Endeavor talent agency and is the real-life inspiration for Ari Gold on Entourage. True fact.

Sent in by Meagan: "I was worried about Joan Baez, weren't you?"

In other top headlines: Joni Mitchell Wants a Sandwich; Harry Belafonte: Slightly Put Out; and Kris Kristofferson Feels Nothing But the Suffocating Truth of His Own Mortality.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

(Jesse, you were TOTALLY my fave character on Work Out! [Seriously.])

"What?"

"Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced."

"What?"

"Madonna is a famous entertainer, and Guy Ritchie is a film director. They're getting divorced."

I think we all saw this coming:

Via everywhere.

Apparently Jamie didn't know it was possible to get pregnant while still breast-feeding.

(Update: TMZ is saying it's not true.)

More heartening wisdom from fake President-Elect Paris Hilton, with help from former fake president Martin Sheen.

More please, Funny or Die.

Need a momentary break from election obsession? (Insert folksy Palin wink here.) Relax with some soothing Letters to E.T., courtesy of Pitch.com's Studies in Crap.

Sample excerpt:

More here.

And another one by the same sculptor, Marc Quinn.

Quinn sculpts people with physical disabilities. The Moss series is an extension of this work.

As you may have read, last week Sharon Stone lost custody of the now-8-year-old son she adopted with her now ex-husband Phil "lizard bait" Bronstein.

Today TMZ plunders the court's "Tentative Statement of Decision" for clues as to what Stone did to lose primary-parent rights:

Sharon Stone is an alarmist parent who has gone off the deep end over and over, according to the judge who rejected her request to move her son down to L.A. Among many things, the judge says, "Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving [son] Roan." In one case, the judge describes Stone believing Roan had a spinal condition, but "there was no evidence to support this allegation....Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child."

Oh come on—shots are way easier than washing. And the kid has to learn how to get Botox sometime, right? (Full grubby story here.)

An unconfirmed source claims the two-hour X-rated footage features Britney naked wearing just a pink wig and was allegedly shot in Mexico.

Adnan added: “I am not interested in selling out any other details about Britney."

This turns my stomach in a preying-on-the-mentally-ill-for-tremendous-financial-benefit kind of way.

...is dead.

So Clay Aiken has finally come out as a homosexual—an unsurprising admission to everyone in the world, right?

Unfortunately, the only people surprised by the news of Clay's gayness are his biggest fans—Claymates, they call themselves, and they've spent the past seven years believing, trusting, and parroting Aiken's claims that no way is he gay.

Now the Claymates' mighty lord and savior has confessed the truth, and my beloved Radar has done the webby legwork—on Clay Aiken fan-sites' message boards, primarily—to find out how the Claymates are dealing. It's not pretty.

"This is a gut wrenching day for The ClayNation. Somebody wake me up, I hope it's a dream." strollynn63 at The Clayboard

"I've cried a river of tears and truthfully do not know where I stand right now. I am envious of those who can take this news and continue to state their unconditional love and support for Clay." Clayncfan at The Clayboard

If Brokeback Mountain taught us anything (besides "Ang Lee is a genius" and "Heath Ledger was a rare talent"), it's that the only thing sadder than closet cases are the women duped into loving them. Happy healing, Claymates, and thanks, Radar.

Each entry includes a celebrity falling down, so all are recommended. But here's my favorite, featuring all three members of Destiny's Child going boom.

Thank you, Slog tipper Bradley Steinbacher. (And confidential to pratfall list-makers: Where's the clip of Courtney falling off that chair onto her face at the VMAs?)