Have there ever been conservative playwrights (other than the newly converted Mamet, who I suspect of a publicity stunt)? What would a conservative play look like? Hooray for the rule of law, minimize foreign entanglements, and strive for fiscal austerity?

I guess maybe The Imaginary Invalid, if abused as a political metaphor, could barely meet those criteria. But really, who cares? Conservative agitprop would be as wretched as liberal agitprop.

From Mr. Teachout:

the problem with today's political theater is that its practitioners see their plays not as works of art but as means to an end. In such tedious exercises in left-wing agitprop as Sam Shepard's "The God of Hell," Caryl Churchill's "Drunk Enough to Say I Love You?" and Tim Robbins's "Embedded," we are presented with a black-and-white universe of victims and villains, a place where every deck is stacked and never is heard a surprising word. Why would anybody with half a brain in his head -- even a fire-breathing McCainiac, if such a creature exists -- want to suffer through their right-wing equivalent?

Seriously. The theater-of-good-intentions has always made liberals look silly. Conservatives are better off without a version of their own.

And, to repeat: Conservatives who are fond of theatrics either work for Fox News or the clergy.

A fringe festival, you ask? Nope, even the big theaters, like Portland Center Stage, are playing along?

A Shakespeare festival, you ask? (Because what ever would we do if we weren't doing Shakespeare?)

Nope, it's a new works festival. You know, those new works that so many of you (on Slog, at Shitstorm) argue aren't practical to produce because nobody will come see them. Or because they will, nine times out of ten, be bad.

Not only is Portland not afraid of new plays, it's got a whole festival dedicated to them, while we're still fretting about whether we can resurrect our fringe festival.

Portland has just rocketed into the future and put our collective hand-wringing to shame.

*_{If you don't know the story of "Why Can't Us?"—a genuinely funny story of civic shame that backflips into civic pride in Philadelphia—see here.}

Sounds so awful it has to be good, right?

Except it's by Alex Timbers and his New York company Les Freres Corbusier, the same people who gave the world A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant (with 8- to 12-year-old children playing out Hubbard's mad life and theology), Boozy: The Life, Death, and Subsequent Vilification of Le Corbusier, and, More Importantly, Robert Moses (which featured a bunch of live rabbits and Freemason dance numbers), Heddatron (about a housewife abducted by robots and forced to replay Hedda Gabler over and over again, starring actual robots), and so on.

The only full project I've seen of Timbers's is Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson, an emo-rock musical/comedy about populism, manifest destiny, genocide, erotic bloodsports, rock stardom, and the country's seventh president. (And is part of the rebirth of the American musical, as heralded by The Drowsy Chaperone, discussed in this week's theater section.)

You can listen to some lo-fi cast recordings of Bloody, Bloody here:

Sometimes you have to take the initiative
Sometimes your whole family dies of cholera
Sometimes you have to make your own story
Sometimes you have to shoot the storyteller in the neck
Sometimes you have to take back the country
Sometimes you have to kill everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone.

What I'm saying is: Dance Dance Revolution is probably going to be actually awesome:

Les Freres transforms the Ohio Theater into a fully immersive, bombed-out discothèque as it fuses unmerciful Japanese rave music with deeply regrettable sophomoric comedy in the futuristic dance spectacular, Dance Dance Revolution.

Riffing on fizzy dance musicals like Flashdance and death sport movies such as Rollerball, Dance Dance Revolution is set in an Orwellian society where dance is illegal. A group of local street toughs harbor no hope of overthrowing the fascistic no-fun government—until a mysterious dance prophet named Moonbeam Funk arrives.

It opens December 3.

Remember the first two points of the Ten Things Theaters Need to Do Right Now to Save Themselves article?

They were "enough with the goddamned Shakespeare already" and "tell us something we don't know" and were primarily aimed at fringe theaters.

At the Shitstorm forum the Rep hosted last week, several theater people vigorously denounced those two, accusing me of being a philistine and not having enough reverence for the classics. (Director George Mount—and founder of Wooden O, a fringe company dedicated to performing Shakespeare in parks—was particularly nettled, saying "we stand on the shoulders of giants." In fact, his brand of aesthetic conservatism is fast asleep at the feet of giants.)

It's refreshing to see my favorite arts section in the whole wide world, the Guardian's, arguing the same points.

...it would seem the fringe's purpose is to provide a home for the terminally reactionary. The Finborough's show is the sort of kitchen sink drama that died out everywhere else years ago, while The Courtyard's Measure for Measure is the straightest reading of a Shakespeare I have seen in years: no "concept", no "reading", no attempt to make it relevant, no freighting with contemporary political significance - in short it looks like the director has just tried to "let the play speak for itself".

Not that there's anything wrong with that, per se, but it is nevertheless baffling. The fringe grew up to provide space for new and experimental forms of work; theatre that could not be staged under the nose of the Lord Chamberlain; theatre that challenged the status quo; theatre that asked unpalatable questions of society; theatre that made aesthetic choices that outraged audiences - disquieting theatre; disruptive theatre.

Its receiving houses are all too often home to productions by directors seeking to showcase their mainstream talents and its producing houses play it safe with solid revivals of tried and tested classics.

Preach it, Guardian.

Read the whole thing here.

Here's a description:

Dinos roam the earth again, animated by what Natalie Jenison and Dina Kelberman call "papier-mâché technology." Director Donna Sellinger swears that this production is neither a joke nor a parody, but a loving, scene-by-scene homage to Spielberg's original.

And here's a picture:

I can't explain why I'm so fond of hyper-low-budget adaptations of giant movies, but I really am. I'd love to see someone (Open Circle Theater?) mount this production here ASAP.

The Rep recently lopped the final week off their autumn blockbuster The Three Musketeers, saying it was too expensive to keep the show open.

Meanwhile, Paul Mullin (this year's Stranger Genius Award winner for theater) just had his new play extended by two weeks at the Boston Court in Pasadena.

The Sequence concerns the race to sequence the human genome. Like many Mullin plays, is a marriage of scientific knowledge, the will to discovery, and the bizarre personalities and rivalries behind the knowledge. (Mullin is, essentially, a gnostic playwright.)

And people like it. Audience are buying tickets, the critics dig it, and to all you people at Shitstorm last night who argued that theaters can't do new plays because audiences won't come to see them: ha!

(p.s. to those of you who were there last night: Shitstorm was fun and somewhat instructive, but I was still disappointed to hear so much reactionary "we can't do this, we can't fix that, we're doing just fine but it's the critics and the lack of government handouts and the audiences and the culture that make our lives difficult." Which is narrow-minded, entitled bullshit. There will be future Shitstorms—about unions, about the Fringe Festival—at which I hope to hear a little less whining and a little more problem-solving.)

UPDATE

Forgive me. I was a little hurried in my description of last night and now people in the comments who attended (and offered good ideas) are insulted.

Last night was fun and, like I said, somewhat instructive. I was surprised by the level of reactionary "we-can't-do-this," as well as surprised by the level of narrow-minded, entitled bullshit.

I was also surprised by the level of willingness to talk, to interrogate the 10 points on their own merits, and, at the very end, the concrete ideas people started to offer. And quite surprised that nobody threw a drink on me.

Sometimes I forget to accentuate the positive.

Mostly, thank you all for coming out last night, even you entitled gasbags. It was the beginning of what I hope will be many fruitful conversations.

And what is Shitstorm?

A few years ago, people used to gather at the Rendezvous for raucous, quarterly pub forums on special topics in theater. It was a crucible for ideas—fun, productive, generally tipsy, and occasionally harrowing. They called it Shitstorm. They're bringing it back. Stranger theater editor Brendan Kiley will briefly discuss his "10 Things Theater Should Do Right Now to Save Themselves" article and moderator Matt Richter will lead a public discussion. Booze will be plentiful and cheap.

Shitstorm happens tonight at Seattle Repertory Theater, 155 Mercer St, at 7:30 pm. Admission is free.

The Seattle Rep has just officially confirmed that it is canceling the last week of The Three Musketeers due to financial constraints.

From spokeslady Ilana Balint:

When we were planning this season we had an optimistic and aggressive outlook for the sales on this show so we built in an extra two weeks on this show. We normally run shows for 4 and a half weeks, and with The Three Musketeers we had an extra two weeks built in. Unfortunately, due to the economic downturn of late, our sales have not merited an extra week of performances. So, we painfully decided that it would be fiscally responsible of us to cancel the last week of performances.

For those commentors on the previous post who thought the Three Musketeers was "not exactly the canary in the coal mine"—it should've been an easy sell for families and the summer-blockbuster demographic: a familiar story, sword fights, etc. Whether or not the production worked (we didn't think so), it should've been able to float on name-recognition and single tickets. Moreso than, say, Purgatorio or even The Imaginary Invalid.

The fact that it didn't makes it very much the canary in the coal mine.

This is the first in what will surely be a litany of closures, cancellations, and upheavals in Seattle theater for the next several years.

Just a few days ago, Rep managing director Ben Moore told me that by next year, the Rep would be a "different organization." He said he has been in the theater business for 40 years, and that "people who should be in the know" say this is the worst economic forecast they've ever seen.

He suggested that if the Rep could make changes to its organization and production schedule now, it would. But, being in the middle of a season, it has to make good on its commitments.

Looks like things have worsened in those few days.

Incidentally, Jane Zalutsky, the president of the Rep's board, is a vice-president at the newly bankrupt WaMu.

-A Person Who Is In No Way Affiliated with Ingraham High School But Was Extremely Moved

Alison is a 48 year old Harvard graduate who is now director of American Revolutions (snazzy title that!) at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland—one of the largest repertory companies in the country, which produces 11 plays a year.

“You cannot tell the story of the United States without including the story of conservative political and social movements,” said Alison Carey told the New York Times.

You're not looking very hard, Alison. Didn't David Mamet just shift his allegiance from "brain-dead liberal" to half-baked conservative? (Or was that just a late-career publicity stunt?)

Neil LaBute might count in a classical Hobbesian, war-of-all-on-all kind of way.

Other than that, you're out of luck. Conservatives who love theatrics either work for Fox News or the clergy.

SEATTLE— Intiman Theatre announces the addition of Shakespeare’s Othello, directed by Artistic Director Bartlett Sher, to its 2009 schedule. This will be Sher’s first production of Shakespeare’s tragedy and his fourth production of a Shakespeare play at Intiman, where he has been Artistic Director since 2000.

But Sher's exit strategy, intentional or otherwise, has been masterful. Rumors about his departure have been greatly exaggerated—and they've circulated so many times that when it finally happens, people will barely notice.

In other news: The Seattle Rep suggested I host a public forum on the contentious 10 Things Theaters Need to Do article. It'll happen Monday Oct 27 at 7:30 pm. The format is old Shitstorm style, for those of you who remember those tipsy, occasionally harrowing pub meetings at Rendezvous—I'll talk for a few minutes, someone will rail against me for a few minutes, and we'll open the floor for general discussion. Booze will be plentiful and cheap. People will shout. People will have their feelings hurt. And everyone will leave a little bit wiser.

UPDATE: I am a fucking moron who apparently can't read a press release:

In addition to his continuing leadership of Intiman, Sher has also recently been named Resident Director of Lincoln Center Theater, where he will consult with LCT Artistic Director Andre Bishop on artistic matters and direct one LCT production each year.

The rest of the winners are:

Alvin Ailey Dance Foundation (New York, NY), to explore a new model of online patron engagement for its celebration of African-American heritage through modern dance.

Center Theatre Group (Los Angeles, CA), to explore new subscription and producing models resonant with young audiences.

Cunningham Dance Foundation (New York, NY), to transition to a post-founder legacy period as it furthers the work of legendary choreographer Merce Cunningham.

Jacob's Pillow Dance (Becket, MA), to extend its impact as the longest-running dance festival in the United States by using technology to become a national resource and model.

Misnomer Dance Theater (New York, NY), to develop new relationships between technology and dance that build on its work as a pioneer in online expression and marketing.

National Black Arts Festival (Atlanta, GA), a year-round cultural celebration of the contributions of artists of African descent, to expand the audience online for the art and performance work of education pertaining to Africa and the African Diaspora.

Ping Chong & Company (New York, NY), to explore a new financial model by franchising a community-organizing experimental theatre project.

SITI Company (New York, NY), to establish this ensemble-based theater company as a resident New York City organization with relevant partnerships and support.

Steppenwolf Theatre Company, (Chicago, IL), to explore new modes of producing and engaging young audiences, including partnerships with other arts groups and universities.

The Wooster Group (New York, NY), to explore a new producing model, pursue partnerships, and take on a new educational role in contemporary theatre.

Those are mostly great choices: this city's best choreographers have been to Jacob's Pillow, Center Theater Group produced the world premiere of my beloved Bloody, Bloody Andrew Jackson, the Wooster Group is a great root for companies like Elevator Repair Service, Merce Cunningham is a Seattle dance hero, etc.

(SITI company is played. But I've got beef with the legacy of Anne Bogart—she's very pleasant, very intelligent, very talented. But Viewpoints is her Frankenstein's monster, and it's been the shield and excuse for a mountain of bad theater.)

Anyway: Congratulations, everyone. And three cheers for crazy, rich, dead Doris Duke (who accidentally killed her interior decorator and legally adopted an adult Hare Krishna, believing she was the biological reincarnation of her dead infant).

A former Mercer Island youth-theater director who was accused of raping a teenager has pleaded guilty to two reduced charges involving assaults on a girl and her sister. The charges filed last year, however, alleged that Keylin had inappropriate contact on several occasions with the 16-year-old daughter of a friend. He also was alleged to have raped the girl's older sister, who was 18 at the time, according to the charges.

...Keylin had been hired [by Youth Theater Northwest] in 2003 after serving as a teacher and school superintendent and most recently had been marketing director for Empty Space Theatre in Seattle.